Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls or The Family Feud.

I was cleaning out my documents and I found this old story and decided to polish it up and make it into a Gravity Falls chapter since it was really bad for the series it was originally intended for.

If you were a Pines, then you were attracted to anything that was either a Challenge, a gamble, or a game show. That's how it's always been for the brood, and thats the way it will most likely stay. However, if you're a Pines, you also don't take losing or public speaking very well... Especially if you have a twin whose 90% of your impulse control playing against you even though you're on the same team.

"Welcome to The Family Feud, I'm your host-"

"Get on with it already!" One contestant yelled as applause erupted from the crowd in the stands and several spot lights roam around the dimmed room until they suddenly land on tonight's contestants.

"Thank you, thank you." The Announcer said as he hushed the crowd with his hands. "Okay, lets meet tonight's contestants."

Camera panned in suddenly on two sets of twins. One set were two adult males and the other set was a pair of boy/girl twins who looked to be about 12. All in all, neither set looked like they wanted to be here on the show, but no one had the nerve to say anything to the others. Regardless, they were here now, and their faces quickly shifted from looks of annoyance to looks of determination.

"Tonight we have the Pines family, vs. the- The Pines Family. Oh geez, and theres sibling rivalries with these four in real life too! OK, lets begin. Give me Stanford and Mabel!"

One of the older males, who wore a cracked pair of glasses and a trench coat, stepped forward. A little girl with wild hair, wearing a Family Feud themed sweater that looked hand knitted, followed him up, and they both took their places at the buzzers.

"Okay, your first question with only one answer is, 'Whats something two people do together in be- For goodness sakes, they give us all the perverted questions when there are children!" The host exclaimed in disgust, only to be cut off by Stanford smacking his buzzer quickly.

"Sex." He replied bluntly.

"Don't be saying that in front of my great-niece!" The oldest of the Pines twins, Stanley Pines, shouted from his spot on the stage.

"Okay, lets see if its sex..?" The host said, still completely awe-struck but then shaking his head back into reality.

An light flashed across screen as sex rolled across the board as a correct answer. Stanley was quick to rush over and cover Mable's eyes quickly before glaring off at the boy on Mable's team in 'Cover your eyes!' type way, which the boy then did.

"We're going to play, by the way." Stanford said simply, turning to his twin and rolling his eyes. "Honestly? Sex is a natural part of life. They were going to hear about it sooner or-"

"BABIES ARE BROUGHT BY STORKS!" Stanley screeched before uncovering the girl's eyes and walking back to his half of the stage, just as the host waltzed on over after him.

"Okay, thats 20 points for the elder Pines family. Now on to the next question: Whats something that you can take from a hotel? Stanley, you're up." The host asked, slowly lowering his que-card to look up at Stanley.

"The lamps!" Stanley all but yelled, punching the table before him with his fist.

"Um I got to ask you, do you have any experience in taking the lamps?" The host muttered, almost scared of hearing the answer.

"According to my Parole Officers, I don't have to answer that honestly." Stanley replied. "Now is it right or not?"

"WHAT!? OK, lets see if its the lamps!" The host sighed, expecting to see an X flash on board, but was surprised to hear a loud 'ding' as lamps rolled over as a correct answer. "WHAT!?"

"Ha! Suck it, host person!" Stanley laughed, as the host numbly turned to Stanford.

"Okay, back over to Stanford."

"Soap?"

Board flashes and another loud 'DING' is heard, much to the host's relief, though that answer now brought the score to 40/0.

"Oh come on! When do we get a turn!?" The 12 year old male from the other team groaned, pulling his hat over his eyes.

"Okay, fine, what do people usually think of when they hear 'the big one?" The host groaned, looking over to the 12 year olds.

"Wait, that isn't how the game works!" Stanley cut in suddenly.

"Yes, well usually the game has more than four members of the same family playing!" The host yelled back, turning to the younger twins again.

"Mother-in-law! Heyo!" Mabel yelped, tucking her hands into her sleeves and waving them around wildly.

"That is correct." The host muttered tiredly as 20 points was added to the score.

"I have never been so proud and infuriated than I am right now." Stanley muttered to his twin.

"And why is that?" Stanford asked, leaning in his hands as he spoke.

"BECAUSE THIS ISN'T HOW YOU PLAY FAMILY FEUD!" Stanley yelled, suddenly jumping over the table and attacking the host.

"Oh no! Not again!" Mabel yelped, grabbing her own twin's hand and tugging it. "Grunkle Ford, Dipper! We have to stop him before he sets this stage on fire like he did with the Wheel of Fortune set!"

"Yes, we could do that, or we could leave now before the police show up like last time." Stanford suggested, suddenly gathering both of the smaller twins up into his arms and fleeing the scene.

"Yeah, or we could do that." Dipper said with a shrug, "Its just one more game show we'll never be allowed back on again."

"Shut up, Dipper!"