A/N: Ford's Write But Do Not Send Letter.

I don't know why, but I pictured Ford writing one of these letters to Stanley at one point during his time in college. I also wrote this as a shout out to my friend Hntrgurl13 for a few reasons, but mainly because she pitched the Shirddles pairing as a joke.

Dear Stanley,

Well, that sounded more formal than I had originally intended, but since I've written this in ink and you'll never read it, I guess this is fine. Anyhow, I guess the next thing to tell you is that I got into a college. Not the one I originally wanted to go to, but a college, none the less. Ma was over the moon about it when she found out that I was accepted, as expected. I don't know how dad felt though, but I guess no one ever really does.

Things haven't changed much since you were kicked out. Buisness as usual at the pawn shop, and our sister just turned two about a month ago. Nothing major, I suppose, but that's probably because anything major that did happen here always seemed to have a link to you, in one way or another. I wouldn't say that things are boring now, but they aren't as lively as they used to be.

Okay, so that was a bit of a lie. Since entering college, I made a new buddy who really could only be described as... Odd. No, that doesn't sound right, but I know if you two ever met each other then you would have quite the set of choice words/insults to throw at him. That's not to say that I wouldn't agree with any of them, but regardless, he's a gentleman type as well as a loveable idiot. According to ma, the two of us get ourselves into more trouble than you and I ever did. That's not completely true, mainly because most of what we study now are just things you and I used to try and study as kids. I guess he's kind of the replacement you, but don't quote me on that.

Our sister already doesn't agree with that statement. She loves Fidds, but not the way she loves you, Stanley. Heck, if I didn't know any better, I'd say she has a kitten crush on him or something. Its hard to tell, as you were always the twin who was better at reading into things like this, but the way her eyes light up whenever she comes to visit us on campus is absolutely adorable. This part of the letter was meant to be funny, but now that I'm reading it again, I'm starting to question it more and more.

Aside from that, Shermy says hi to you. Well, he actually says hi to all of us, but since you're not here to hear it, I've decided to pass along the message to you... Or at least say that that is what I'm doing. At this point I really don't know where I would have sent this letter to if I had planned on sending it, so its not like Shermy's message or who he intended it for is of any importance anyhow. After I get done writing this letter I plan on either burning it or shredding it, after all. It was really only written for my sake, and not so much yours. I can't quite remember where I got the idea to write this, actually, and now that I am, I'm just writing a few things during my day to day life now that you might be interested in. The biggest thing being that I'm happy, regardless of what you did.

Also that the small mistakes in my letter are really starting to bother me, mainly because I wrote this in pen (as written before) and can't take back anything that I've already wrote... That sounds metaphoric for some reason. I guess that doesn't matter either, you're never going to see this, and writing it only took up about five minutes of my life that I'll never get back.

Having said that, I should probably close up this letter now before I convince myself to re-read it, fix any errors, copy it onto a clean sheet of paper instead of a napkin, and send it to you for real.

Your brother,

-Ford