16
On their way back over to the Physics Building with the baby after lunch, Penny decided to bring up something that she was curious about.
"Sheldon, please forgive me if I'm asking something inappropriate, but we're not in the office right now so I figure I can ask, what exactly did you do all summer? I mean, I know you were at home for part of it, but I get the feeling you also did other stuff"
"Penny, I appreciate that you are not asking me this where we could be overheard by colleagues or friends, for I'm not certain I want my summer of exploration to be spoken of by others quite yet."
"Summer of exploration?"
"It's a working title. A placeholder. I'm certain I'll think of something better for inclusion in my memoirs."
"Right."
"In any case, I began my sojourn, as you surmised, at home in Galveston. When I left Pasadena I was very confused. Nothing was as it should have been and I was uncertain how to react or proceed. Adding to that Amy seemed to be taking advantage of my situation to press for an advancement of our relationship paradigm and possible cohabitation. I needed to return home to my family. By the time I arrived I was spent. And then I discovered my mother had dragged MeeMaw with her to some kind of church retreat. I don't even remember how I got to Missy's doorstep but when she found me I could not even explain myself."
"The next thing I knew, Mommy was making fried chicken and then later singing me "Soft Kitty." That night I had the best REM cycle I'd had in months. And over time I slowly regained my strength. One evening, about 2 weeks after I got home Missy just asked me "What happened?" I told her everything. I then showed her my daily notes and we discussed them. Well, discussed would be the polite term. Missy became quite agitated. She said some very impolite things about Amy's actions and, when we reviewed them, Leonard's. To be quite honest, you did not fare well in those discussions either. It was quite interesting to hear Missy's perspective since you know that she is much more socially adept than I. And I soon found I was able to gain some perspective also."
"Sounds intense."
"I suppose it was. A great benefit came from it though."
"Yeah?"
"As you know, though we are twins, Missy and I are not very similar at all and we have, for the most part not been terribly close and followed our own paths. My situation has allowed Missy and I to not only become a better brother and sister but to actually become friends. I am very grateful for that."
"Missy kind of said the same thing to me. I'm really happy for you guys."
"In any case. Once I had regained my strength and stamina I decided to recharge my intellectual batteries, as it were. Since my own area of concentration was in flux, and as I have always had standing offers of employment from a number of institutions and think tanks around the country, I decided to visit as many as I could and discuss my situation with as many colleagues as I could so that I could formulate a plan of action based on as much information as possible. And happily I was able to travel to almost all of my destinations by train."
"That all sounds very sensible, Sheldon."
"It should. It was my plan. I was able to follow this plan for approximately nine weeks when Missy told me about, I'm sorry I won't even use his name, her husband's email. I immediately cancelled the remainder of my itinerary and returned to help care for her and my nephew and help her formulate her own plan of action."
"Wow, Sheldon, I gotta say that I am really proud of you. You did exactly the right thing. The whole time. And I'm gonna ask you something though I pretty much think I know the answer."
"Then why ask?"
"Because I think I need to hear you say it. You don't think any of us could have helped you the way you needed to be helped, do you?"
"I'm sorry to say no. In reviewing the situation with Missy, we were able to conclude that my friends in Pasadena were actually making the situation worse for me."
"I think I understand, Sheldon. I'm so very sorry that I contributed to what happened."
"It wasn't your fault, Penny. It wasn't really any individual's fault, though a great deal of my discomfort was due to Amy Farrah Fowler. I believe that we have assembled a group of friends who are, by and large, quite dysfunctional as a group. We have all placed the comfort level of our group above the comfort of any individual in it. The group pressed me to be with Amy so I was with Amy. The group pressed for you to be back together with Leonard. You are back together with Leonard. Raj is being influenced to move things along with Emily. And soon they too will be aligned. I do not wish to be part of a collective of couples, Penny. While I am willing to attempt to take others into account as I determine the direction of my life I will not allow others determine that direction. The group seemed to be much more invested in my relationship with Amy than I was. And Amy was determined to have me make a commitment I have no interest in making. Missy helped me see that I need to be in control of my future and for now that future does not include a romantic relationship of any kind until other things are more settled."
"So you think that once you're in better shape at work you might get back together with Amy?"
"No. We want different things. Amy seems to view me as a project whose completion will result in her lifelong happiness. I have no desire to take on that responsibility. And I have no interest in Amy physically despite the number of examples of physical closeness she demanded of me. I feel nothing but friendship for Amy and, at the moment, precious little of that. I am open to someday possibly falling in love and having a physical relationship with a woman. Just not now and not Amy Farrah Fowler."
"One more question, since we're almost at the building. Is Missy here to help you or are you helping Missy?"
"Both. I'll admit that I seriously considered not ever returning. I was prepared to send Leonard the PDFs for packing my belongings on a number of occasions but Missy convinced me that a Cooper does not just accept defeat and that I should come back and rebuild my life as I wish it to be. And she kindly offered to come back with me and aid me in that endeavor. Concurrently, I offered Missy the opportunity to rebuild her life as a single mother with my assistance and support. We are going to help and support each other."
"So, Sheldon, will me and Leonard be part of your new life."
"Penny, you will always be a part of my life. A very, very important part."
A tear started to fall from Penny's eye. But she did notice that Sheldon pointedly did not include Leonard in his reaponse.
"I'm gonna hug you Sheldon. Just a warning. I'm gonna hug you really tight."
"Penny, please be careful of the baby."
A/N: I rarely write about process but this chapter was a bitch to write and I'm still not sure I got it right.
While I'm here I want to thank you all for your reviews and follows. I'm especially happy to see a lot of screen names that I've not seen before. Welcome to The Big Bang Theory Multiverse. I hope you enjoy your stay.