26
Amy Farrah Fowler was working diligently in her lab when she received a phone call. She recognized the number as that of her new landlord.
"Hello. This is Dr. Fowler."
"Dr. Fowler, I'm calling for Mr. Lewis. You signed a lease and gave him a check to cover your rent and security deposit a few days ago."
"That is correct. I plan to move my things in tomorrow."
"Our bank has informed us that your account has been frozen and the funds are unavailable. Unless we receive a bank check for the funds by the end of business today we will be forced to release the apartment to another potential tenant."
"I'm sure there must be some kind of error. I'll contact my bank immediately and make sure it's straightened out."
"As I said, you have till the end of the day. Goodbye."
Amy immediately dialed the bank.
"I'm sorry Dr. Fowler. This is beyond our control. The government has ordered that all of your accounts be frozen, both business and personal accounts. They are the only ones who can release your funds."
"This is a horrible inconvenience. I believe this is a mistake on your part and I will be seeking appropriate redress."
"Proceed as you wish, Dr. Fowler. Good day."
As Amy considered her next action, the director of the lab came into her office.
"Dr. Fowler, there are representatives from the FBI in my office. They wish to speak with you."
"Thank you. I assume they are here to apologize for the confusion they've caused by freezing my bank accounts."
"I believe it may be more serious than that, Dr. Fowler. I would go speak to them immediately if I were you."
"Oh, I intend to. Thank you for informing me."
Amy marched down to the director's office and, upon entering, glared at the two men in gray suits she found waiting.
"I assume you are here to clear up the confusion you've caused by interfering with my funds."
"Please be seated Dr. Fowler."
"I am very busy. Please say what you must so I can get on with my day. I have a great deal to do."
"Dr. Fowler, please be seated. Speaking with us is what your day will now be about. If you don't speak with us voluntarily we will be forced to take other action. Public action."
Amy sat down, but still felt extremely inconvenienced.
"Dr. Fowler, it has come to our attention that you are engaged to and receive funding from a foreign national. Is this accurate?"
"It's not illegal."
"Please answer the question."
"I receive my funding from a Saudi prince named Faisal. And yes, in order to guarantee that funding I agreed to become engaged to Faisal."
"And you receive all of your funding from this Faisal. Money to run your lab? To purchase equipment? Your salary?"
"Yes."
"And you have set up bank accounts for these funds?"
"I have."
"Are you the only one able to draw funds from these accounts?"
"Of course."
"Have you ever drawn funds from these accounts not connected to your research?"
"Periodically Faisal has requested that I send funds to others that he is funding. I am not aware of what those others are researching nor am I interested. It is likely not as important as my own work."
"Dr. Fowler, are you aware that your fiancée Faisal has been known to provide funding to organizations that promote and fund terrorism."
"That's about politics. I'm a scientist. I do not concern myself with something as mundane as politics."
"Dr. Fowler, I'm sure you understand that it is illegal to provide funds to terrorists."
"As I said, I am a scientist. These other matters do not concern me. I have spoken with you and apprised you of the situation. Now please release the funds to my bank accounts immediately."
"Dr. Fowler, we have tracked some of the checks you sent, as you now inform us, at your fiancée Faisal's request. They went to some organizations we believe are fronts for terrorism and anti-American activities."
"I was not aware of that. If you provide me a list of such organizations I will discuss the matter with Faisal. I'm certain he will be able to straighten it out. Now please release my funds."
"Dr. Fowler, the funds will not be released. All of Faisal's bank accounts in the United States are now frozen. I doubt this will be resolved anytime soon. We believe that Faisal has been using your research to launder funds and in turn provide funding to enemies of the United States. We will need to speak with you more extensively. Under the Patriot Act we could arrest you now. However, we are convinced you are just ignorant of the realities involved and suggest you engage an attorney to accompany you for our next session. Please do not take this matter lightly. You could very possibly find yourself in prison."
"This is all about politics. As I said they are not my concern. I am doing very important research and I am certain my superiors will be very upset if you interfere with it."
"Dr. Fowler, at the moment your lab and computers are being analyzed by our forensic specialists. We suggest you not leave Pasadena. We understand that you are temporarily residing with your mother. We encourage you to remain there until you hear from us again. We'll be back in touch in a few days. Thank you for your time."
"But what am I supposed to do for money? I was supposed to be moving into a new apartment tomorrow."
"We are aware that your landlord has contacted you about that. Unless you have another legal source of funding, we suggest you kiss that apartment goodbye until things are either straightened out or our investigation determines you are not involved."
"I must insist that my funds be returned to me."
"Dr. Fowler, you are welcome to seek redress. It will be expensive and take a long time and you will likely not be successful but you are welcome to try."
Amy left the director's office disappointed. When she reached her lab she found the director of the facility and two security guards awaiting her.
"Dr. Fowler, we removed your personal items from the lab and placed them in that cardboard box by the elevator. You will not have access to these premises until matters are resolved appropriately by the government. We will thank you to leave immediately. These security guards will escort you out."
"I don't understand. What will I do? What about my test subjects? My research?"
"The animals will be cared for in your absence. The animal you currently have at your mother's home is being removed from there and brought back here. I wish you good luck in resolving this matter. Goodbye."
Sullenly, Amy picked up her box of personal items and, escorted by the security guards, boarded the elevator and then left the building.