Chapter 12

Waters off the Enchanted Forest, about a year before the 1st curse

After two hours in her spa with a veritable army of her minions pampering her, Ursula still hadn't calmed down. Looked like a visit to her praise room was in order. She swam to the end of the corridor and opened the French doors. A vacantly smiling mermaid awaited her at the door with a soft robe and fuzzy slippers for each of her tentacles.

"So wonderful to see you again, your majesty," the woman said with enthusiasm. "Your radiant presence graces all who are fortunate enough to be within your vicinity."

"Thanks, toots," Ursula muttered distractedly, slipping on the luxurious items.

She'd no sooner gotten into the room before an old merman swam up, took her arm, and led her to an easy chair where her favorite beverage already sat in the cup holder.

"You are looking beautiful this morning Ursula. Positively radiant."

She needed this. Oh, she needed this. It really was one of her most brilliant ideas. After about a week of those two eel idiots constantly making cracks at her weight she'd decided she needed a place where she could get away from it all—and be surrounded by people who were constantly telling her how amazing she was. There were definite advantages to having a full battalion of mindless, robot-like slaves who would do whatever she wanted.

Ursula settled into her chair and let slave after slave come up to her and tell her how beautiful, how intelligent, how cunning, how perfect she was, and some of the stress finally started to ebb. So this "Evil Queen" beat her to the punch where Ariel was concerned? Big deal. She was Ursula! She was more than capable of devising a plan to get the trident—and a plan to punish the land-dweller who'd thrown a seahorse into her last brilliant plot.

She'd never really thought too much about land dwellers before. They were all stupid, incompetent catfish brains, weren't they? And yet she'd just been bested by one. Maybe it would be in her best interest to give the nasty creatures another thought.

What was she going to do? How was she going to get the trident? She couldn't go as herself, she couldn't go in disguise, she didn't trust those two slimy amoeba brains as far as she could throw them. What then? Perhaps it was time for a trip to the brain room.

….

Albert met her at the door and led her into the room he'd decorated with complex equations, quotes in every known language and scientific maxims that Ursula couldn't even read, let alone understand.

"Good afternoon, your majesty," Albert said bowing at the waist, his bushy gray hair and mustache flowing with the ocean waves. "How might I and my intelligence assist you today?"

"I've got a problem," she said, pacing the room restlessly. "My powers are slipping, and I need more and more souls everyday just to stay afloat. I need Triton's trident, but every plot I come up with turns to seaweed! How do I get that stupid thing?"

Albert set a pair of wire-rimmed spectacles on the end of his nose and peered at her over steepled fingers. "You must think the problem through logically, Madam."

Ursula rolled her eyes. "Logic gives me a headache. What do you think I kidnapped you for?"

"By that grammatically incorrect statement—we do not end sentences with prepositions, Madam; prepositions require their corresponding objects to follow them—I assume you would like me to apply the logic to your particular predicament."

"Look Al," Ursula said, towering menacingly over the tiny merman, "I didn't bring you here to be my grammar police. Either help me out or I'll transfer you to the undersea sewage department."

Albert shuddered delicately and then bowed in Ursula's direction. "I'd be pleased to be of service to you, of course. Now, would you do me the courtesy of informing me of your failed plots to date?"

Ursula gave him a quick run-down. When she'd finished, Albert closed his eyes, obviously pondering the situation. Finally he nodded.

"So, due to Triton's precautions, you cannot enter the kingdom. You need help from lackeys you can trust, and you've determined Flotsam and Jetsam do not fit the bill."

Ursula glared at him. "That's what I just said. I didn't hire you to tell me what I already know!"

"As you don't pay me a salary, Madam, technically speaking, you did not hire me at all. Be that as it may, I find it useful to restate a difficult problem in order to grasp its magnitude and thus devise a workable solution."

Ursula plopped with difficulty into one of the desks near the front of the room and huffed in frustration. "What? Do they make these desks for midgets?"

"On the contrary, Madam. These desks were designed for students of average weight and size. As you exceed those limits, it stands to reason you would find the desks uncomfortable."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Ursula said with a roll of the eyes. "If I wanted someone to tell me I'm fat, I'd go chat with those two fish-brains. Stick to the issue! How do I get that trident? I thought maybe I'd send a few of my servants. Don't have to worry about them turning on me."

Albert shook his head. "That plan has severe limitations, I'm afraid. Your slaves were taken from Triton's kingdom. Their friends and relatives will recognize them and go to Triton for assistance. Given the power Triton wields, it is more likely said slaves would be rescued from your clutches than that they would complete your mission. Incidentally, should you decide to proceed with this inadvisable plan, I would be pleased to volunteer."

"Nice try, brainiac," she said sarcastically. "So I can't use merpeople. What other creature under the sea is smart enough to send?"

"Perhaps you'd do best to recruit for yourself beings that are not under the sea. Perhaps you'd do best to recruit a group of humans."

"Humans?" Ursula asked, her eyes widening. "How am I supposed to get my tentacles on humans? Besides, what use are they to me? Pretty sure Triton's gonna notice if a bunch of land dwellers walk in on two legs."

"That may be, Madam, but the problem will be much reduced if you utilize humans already used to stealth and theft. Pirates would be my suggestion."

Pirates? Yeah, that could work.

"You must be careful, though," Albert cautioned. "Men cannot survive underwater, and when their bodies die, their souls go with them. Dead pirates will be of absolutely no use to you."

….

And so Ursula had begun a delicate process of trial and error. She began haunting the surface whenever a violent storm was eminent. She waited until men were thrown overboard, and then she pounced. Sure enough. When she dragged the first man down to her lair, he died along the way. When she performed the spell to extract his soul, she ran into a brick wall; his soul was no longer there.

Next, Ursula tried her spell on a man who had not yet gone below the surface. She thought she'd succeeded at first. She retrieved the soul as always and planted it in her garden. Unfortunately, this guy only lasted about five minutes longer than the last one. His body died, and then his soul flew the coup.

Drat! She couldn't get her tentacles on dead men, but live ones were useless to her too. What did that leave her? Ursula paid one more visit to Albert in the brain room. If he didn't have a solution, she was pretty much screwed.

"You must catch your man at precisely the right moment," Albert suggested. "He must be more sea creature than land dweller."

"What's that mean?"

"As a man drowns, his lungs fill with water," Albert explained. "At the moment immediately prior to death, the man is more at one with the sea than with the land. Take the soul at that moment, and he is yours for eternity. The body will have the additional benefit of being impervious to attack by land weapons."

"Huh," Ursula said speculatively. "Why'd I care about that?"

"Well, Madam," he explained carefully, "a man impervious to attack on land would be ideally suited to land missions. Your horizons could immediately expand."

Well how about that! Ursula immediately set out to try it, and low and behold, it worked! Caught at just the right moment, a man was as malleable as a jellyfish.

Over the next six months, Ursula steadily expanded her collection of pirates, taking advantage of sea battles and storms—and occasionally causing them herself as the situation warranted. Finally she had amassed a pirate crew worthy of anyone's envy. She was just short one element—a leader. She needed to find herself a pirate captain, and then her mission to capture Triton's trident could be under way.

Enchanted Forest, about 1 week ago

Blackbeard glanced over his shoulder, saw the outlaw fall to the ground, having been overtaken by a number of his pirates. Facing forward again, he ran the last few steps to the tent. At first glance, the small dwelling appeared to be empty, but the child was here; he was sure of it.

Working methodically, Blackbeard searched the tent until his hand closed around a little arm hidden behind a crumpled sleeping palate. He'd found the boy. He gently tugged until the lad was freed from his hiding place.

The boy wriggled and screamed, crying for his father. Hardened pirate though he was, Blackbeard felt a stab of pain at the sight of the little one's terror. There was something about this child that reminded him of Anne.

Anne. The pain radiated until it took over his whole system. His beautiful vibrant sister! He missed her more than words could say. Perhaps if he'd handled things better it would have turned out differently. She would be a happy, thriving young woman rather than…

Edward ruthlessly shoved the memories aside before they consumed him. He had a job to do, and he needed all his wits, all his focus in order to succeed. Once he'd successfully exacted his revenge on the witch who ruined his life, he could return his focus to the pirate that ruined his sister's.

Taking the lad in his arms as gently as he could, he quickly strode from the tent.

"Hey!" The shout came from a large outlaw with curly, shoulder-length hair. Wonderful! He didn't have time for this. He already felt himself slipping. He would be back in her control before long, and he had to complete his task before that happened. Who was to know when he'd get another opportunity?

"Help!" the little boy screamed frantically. "Little John, help!"

Little John? How in all the realms did such a massive man come by a name like that?'

Spurred on by the little boy's cry, the outlaw sped forward, gathering others in his wake. Blackbeard sighed, resigning himself to the delay another battle would cause when several of his men stepped forward, effectively freeing him to be on his way. He threw a silent thanks to any god up there who was still on speaking terms with him after the violent life he'd been leading.

Then, wasting no more time, he took to his heels and ran. The boy screamed and flailed for some time, but eventually seemed to tire himself out, his screams settling into steady, heartbroken sobs. The sound tore at Blackbeard. His heart had been well and truly hardened when it came to the grown men he and his men routinely attacked, but children…that was a different story.

Blackbeard slowed his pace having left the outlaws a good three miles behind him. Breathing heavily, he gently patted the boy's shoulder. "I'll not harm you, lad, you've no need to fear that."

The child hiccupped, trying to get his emotions under control. "P…papa," he said brokenly. "You hurt Papa."

"He will heal, lad. I promise you," Blackbeard said gently. "My men know to use no more force than is absolutely necessary."

The boy cried silently for several more minutes, and then spoke again. "Wh..where are you taking me?"

Where indeed? Blackbeard had originally planned to give the boy to Ursula, but couldn't bring himself to do so. Her methods of dealing with him would be nothing short of brutal. Where else could the boy be kept until the queen offered herself up?

Hornigold. The boy could stay with Hornigold and his sister. Blackbeard knew his former captain would be more than happy to come to his aid. At the Hornigold household, this child would be cared for while being detained. Aye, it was the best solution for all involved.

"To a friend," Blackbeard answered soothingly. "I'm taking you to a friend of mine. Fear not; you'll be well cared for, and in no time you'll be back in the arms of your father."

Enchanted Forest, present day

Killian and Emma walked hand in hand across the drawbridge leading to her parents' castle as a brilliant sunset painted the sky.

"Lovely, isn't it, Swan?" Killian asked, bending down to whisper in her ear. A delicious shiver passed through her at her husband's nearness.

"Yeah," Emma said, "seems sunsets are always pretty here. It's just that last time we were too busy trying to keep nasty witches from killing us or our family to really notice."

"Perhaps I should be more concerned about the foe we face this time," Killian said, straightening again and then shrugging, "but I cannot bring myself to get worked up."

"I know what you mean," she said reflectively. "These last few days…well, I've been too happy just being with you to even spare a thought to what's been going down around here."

Killian grew quiet, and Emma looked up at him curiously. His bright blue eyes were on her, a tender smile draping his lips. "I'm glad, Emma. I truly am. I hope to keep you happy all the days of my life."

Emma smiled up at him, loving him, wishing she hadn't spent so much time pushing him away before they'd finally gotten together. She placed a hand behind his head and tugged him forward, planning to tell him of her feelings in the most eloquent way she knew how.

"Emma," he breathed as his eyes drifted shut, and he leaned forward to close the distance between them…

"Emma!" she heard her mother call excitedly just before her lips met Killian's. She groaned, gave him a quick peck, and then turned toward her advancing parents.

"I'm fond of your parents, love, I truly am," Killian said in a rueful voice, "but sometimes I find myself tempted to use my hook on them."

Emma giggled and grabbed his hand. "Don't worry pirate. This palace has plenty of bedrooms. I'll make sure we get one a good half a castle away from them, and then we can continue this conversation later tonight."

He grinned back at her. "I shall count the hours, my love."

Snow White hurried forward, surprisingly quickly for a woman so pregnant, her husband beside her. At the last moment, she skidded to a stop, glancing awkwardly from Emma to Killian.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"It's okay, mom," Emma said, pulling the older woman into a hug. "You know how it is with newlyweds."

"Indeed I do," Snow said, smiling up at her husband.

Killian stepped up and shook hands with Charming before making the introductions. Her parents knew Lancelot, of course, but they'd never met Galahad or Gawain.

"Lancelot!" Snow said, rushing forward to offer the large, black man a warm hug. "It's so good to see you again."

"And you as well, your majesty," he said with a touch of formality.

Within minutes, the men walked off together, talking of weapons and fighting and battle strategies. Emma found herself left with her mother.

"You have no idea how happy I am to see everyone here…in the castle…not hiding out somewhere from some bitch who'd once again taken over the kingdom," Emma said.

"You and me both," Snow said, laughing. "I can't even tell you how relieved I was when your father came back and told us it was Philip and Aurora in the castle."

The two women began walking forward toward the large, arched castle doors. "So what did we miss while we were in Camelot," Emma asked.

Her mother shrugged. "Not much, really. We haven't got any new information, any new leads. We're kind of spinning our tires right now. I can tell your father's starting to get restless. How are we supposed to fight against an enemy that won't even let us know who he is?"

"No idea," Emma muttered.

Snow looked up at her. "What about Camelot? Do the knights have anything to give us?"

Emma shook her head slowly. "They sent their three best to help us fight, but they're as stumped as everyone else as to who we're dealing with."

They walked in silence for a while, and then Emma's stomach growled. "Hope you guys left some dinner for us. We wanted to get back as fast as we could, so we just kind of snacked along the way rather than stop and eat a real lunch."

Snow laughed and rubbed her distended belly. "Trust me; this little guy keeps me more or less perpetually hungry, so I make sure the kitchen's always stocked."

Emma grinned. "I can already see that having a little brother is going to have its perks."

After a moment, Emma sobered. "How's Robin."

Snow looked troubled. "About the same. Still in a coma, still with a slight fever. But it's Regina that I'm most worried about."

"Regina? What's up with her? Just worried about Robin and Roland?"

"Well, yeah, she's worried about them," Snow said slowly, "but it's more than that. She tried true love's kiss on him—at my suggestion."

Emma's eyes opened in surprised. "Tried? You mean it didn't work?"

"No," Snow said with a troubled look, "and now Regina's…I don't know…completely despondent. It's like she's given up. Won't talk to anyone. Won't leave Robin's side. She'll barely even eat. I'm kind of worried about her."

"I can't believe true love's kiss didn't work for her. I would have sworn they were true loves."

Snow shrugged again. "Who knows? Maybe it's different when the loved one is knocked unconscious than it is when they're under a sleeping curse. All I know is that we'll need Regina for the fight—whenever that comes, and right now, she's pretty much m.i.a."

"I'll go talk to her," Emma said with determination. "Don't know if it'll do any good; we have a pretty…complicated relationship…but I can at least try."

Snow patted her on the arm in a motherly fashion. "I was hoping you would. I don't know if you'll have any more success than the rest of us, but it's worth a try."

"They in the infirmary wing?" Emma asked turning to veer in that direction.

Snow stopped her. "Yeah, but I didn't mean you had to go right this second. You and Killian need to eat first. Besides, I wanted to know…"

"Yeah?" Emma asked, confused at her mother's awkwardness.

Snow took a deep breath. "I know you and Killian had a chance to be alone over the past few days. As your mother, I'm glad to see how happy you are, how you just, I don't know, glow."

"Thanks mom," Emma said warmly. "Despite all the craziness around here, the last few days have been some of the best in my life."

Snow nodded. "And as your former roommate, Mary Margaret, I just have to ask. How was it?"

Emma grinned remembering long hours in Killian's arms. "As your daughter, I have to say 'Ew! Mom! I am not discussing this with you', but as your former roommate, all I'll say is…you'll get no complaint from me. That man certainly knows what he's doing between the sheets."

….

Regina looked bleakly down at Robin's pale face, flickering weirdly in the light of the wall sconce. Would he ever wake up, or would he one day just slip away? The thought brought an ache too deep for tears. She'd probably used up all her tears in the last few days anyway ever since…

Ever since she discovered that he didn't love her, at least not the way she loved him. What would she say to him if he did awaken? Would he even want her here with him? Would he be happy to see her at his side? Before the kiss she would have said yes. She would have been convinced he'd be as happy and relieved to see her as she was to see him.

A single tear slid from her eye and down her cheek. She guessed she wasn't completely cried out.

A knock sounded at the door, and she heard Emma's voice calling "Regina? Can I come in."

Regina scrubbed at her face. It had been engrained in her for so long that she needed to be strong and firmly in control when Miss Sw…Mrs. Jones was around, that she couldn't stand for the other woman to see the evidence of her tears.

"Sure, why not," Regina said as soon as she could be sure her voice would remain steady.

Emma walked in, looked down at Robin, and then put a comforting hand on Regina's shoulder. "At least he doesn't look any worse."

Regina shrugged. "I guess that's true."

"Can we go take a walk or something?" Emma asked. "Mary Margaret says you've been here pretty much non-stop. You need a break."

Regina looked up at her outraged. "Mrs. Jones, the man I love needs me. I'm not just going to abandon him. I thought you of all people could understand that!"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Come on, Regina," she said irritably. "You're not abandoning him; you're just taking a short break. Besides, Belle's waiting just outside the door. She offered to sit with Robin while we're gone. She'll come get you if there's any change."

Regina was tempted to agree. It would be nice to stretch her legs for a few minutes. Finally she nodded. "Okay, fifteen minutes, then I'm back here."

Emma nodded. "Fifteen minutes is fine."

The two women walked in silence for several minutes, their shoes making a staccato sound against the stone corridors. Finally Regina could stand it no longer. "I tried true love's kiss on him, you know."

Emma looked at her. Her gaze was matter-of-fact, not pitying. For that Regina was grateful.

"Yeah, Mary Margaret told me," Emma finally said.

"So, then you know," Regina said. "You know that he doesn't feel the way I do."

"So you're just going to give up, throw in the towel then?" Emma's voice was brusque.

"What do you expect I do? True love magic didn't work. That's it. Nothing more to say about it. Robin doesn't love me."

"Don't take this the wrong way, Regina, but that's a load of crap," Emma said in a hard voice. "I never took you for a quitter."

Regina threw her hands helplessly in the air. "It's not quitting; it's just accepting reality."

"Bull."

"Excuse me?"

"I said 'bull'," Emma said, deliberately enunciating every word, "Look, Regina, maybe it's just because of how I grew up…in the real world without all the magic and fairy tale stuff, but I don't believe that. True love magic doesn't confirm your feelings? So what? Isn't everyone always saying true love has to be fought for? You love Robin? Fight for him. Maybe true love isn't born; maybe it's made."

Despite herself, Regina felt hope well up. "Do you really believe that, Mrs. Jones?"

"Yeah, I do. Look, Regina. I'll tell you one thing for damn sure. Once I decided I loved Killian, and there would never be another man for me, there's nothing in this world that would have kept me from him—not distance, not a curse, not the dictates of true love magic. Nothing. I thought you'd feel the same. You were the Evil Queen! You cursed a whole freaking kingdom because of hate. Are you really going to do any less for love?"

Determination and hope rose up within Regina. Was she going to give up? Like hell she was!

"You're right, Emma," she said firmly. "I'll fight for Robin for as long as it takes."

"That's the Regina I know."

The two women made the turn and began heading back to the infirmary.

"And for what it's worth," Emma said after a few minutes, "about every true love couple I know has had a failed true love kiss—Rumple and Belle, Killian and me, even freaking Snow White and Prince Charming. So if I were you, I wouldn't give up on my happy ending just yet."

"Thank you," Regina said. "I mean it, Emma. Thanks a lot."

"No problem."

They'd nearly made it back to the infirmary when Belle burst through the door. Regina stopped in her tracks nearly frozen in fear. But then Belle smiled.

"It's alright!" she said. "He's waking up. Robin's definitely waking up!"

Regina shot pat her into the infirmary. She ran to the bed where Robin lay. For the first time since they'd returned to the Enchanted Forest, he wasn't lying still as death but was moving around, groaning.

He opened his eyes just as she reached the bed. She sat on the bed, took his hand and smiled down into his wide, confused eyes. Reaching up, she brushed the hair off his brow. "Robin," she said tenderly, "you woke up. Finally you woke up!"

"It would seem so," he said in a small voice, rusty from disuse. "I have but one question, madam."

"What's that," Regina asked, caressing his jaw.

"Who are you?"

Notes:

-So there you have it. Ursula is collecting pirates and now she's looking for a captain, Roland is at least safe and not being tortured or something, and Robin has woken up but has amnesia. As for that last point, we all know what happens when someone tries TLK on someone who doesn't remember them!

-Up next: We meet back up with Anne, who learns that it's really best to guard your heart from handsome pirates you meet at taverns. In the present day, Ursula is freaking out because she's losing her powers. Blackbeard has a plan he doesn't think Ursula can refuse. Meanwhile, Regina continues to care for a very confused Robin, but when she receives a note from Blackbeard, she almost makes a desperately dangerous decision.