'You aren't afraid of me."

Killian spun to face the Dark Swan. "You have to stop doing that." He sounds more tired than angry.

"Dropping by to see you or appearing directly behind you?" she asks in a teasing voice.

He sighs. "Both." Stop visiting because it is too painful to see her face but to know it isn't real. Stop visiting because each time you do I want to forget why I keep refusing you, to lose myself in you, to drown out the memories because they hurt too much to bear. Stop visiting because I can't stand being haunted like this. Don't ever stop visiting because I don't think I could survive never seeing her face again.

"You don't really mean that," she says, stepping closer and trying to take his hand.

"I do mean that." He turns away from her and keeps walking.

"There. You are the only one in this town who would dare turn their back and dismiss the Dark One."

He wheels back to face her. "What do you want from me Dark One?" he demands, anger and despair warring in his voice. "You've already taken everything."

She frowns, tilting her head as she studies him. "Is that why?" She sounds almost sad and it takes all his strength not to reach out for her, not to comfort her. "Because you don't care if you live or die? Because you may not see it now, but you could have a good life if you would just let me in. You could have everything you want."

All I want is Emma. "That's not what this is about," he says aloud. "You wouldn't understand."

"Come on Killian," she says, sliding up against him. Again he steps aside. "You and I, we understand each other. I thought we established that a long time ago."

"Aye. We established a lot of things," Killian says evenly. "Not the least of which is that you were the savior, not the Dark One. And that you and I could be a part of something or we could do what we do best and be alone."

"I'm not the one keeping people away from me."

"You are by treating people like pawns."

"You aren't a pawn," she says, her smile deliberately seductive. "You could be a king."

"I hate kings," Killian says.

"You still haven't told me why you aren't afraid like the rest of them." She presses herself against him.

He steps away again, another step in a dance of which he is quickly tiring. Of course I'm afraid. I'm afraid I might not always have the strength to keep stepping away.

"Because you want me for something. I'm safe as long as you still need me for that," he says coldly. He believes that is true, not the only reason, but the only one he is sure about.

"Are you afraid of her?" Henry asks. "My mom," he clarifies unnecessarily. He has taken to lurking around the Jolly Roger and Killian doesn't mind the company. Regina had told Killian what the Dark One did to Violet, how she broke Henry's heart.

"No," Killian admits. Of course I am. I'm afraid she will burn the town to the ground to get whatever it is she wants and that you and I and perhaps a few others will be left standing in the ashes. Of course I'm not. It isn't your mother doing any of this, not really. "Are you?"

"No. Not for me anyway. That's not how the Dark One works. Historically it is much more likely to turn her love for me against everyone else than it is to make her hurt me. Or at least if she's anything like Rumplestiltskin as the Dark One." He pats his satchel containing the storybook. "That's my reason. What's yours?"

"Because we're getting her back. I'm not giving up on her and I'm not letting anyone give up on her. She's not gone." It's true, he believes it's true, but he knows it isn't the whole of it. It's more complicated than he can put in to words.

"Were you ever afraid of the Crocodile?" Killian asks Belle. Everyone asking him has made him curious. But he knows Belle well enough to know the answer already.

"No. There is a difference between not trusting someone and being afraid of them. He lost my trust but even after that, when he came back to Storybrooke, I was never afraid he would hurt me. What I was afraid of was that my love would cloud my better judgment, like it had before."

"Aye. It's a hard balance to find."

"It is," Belle agrees. "Love without trust is the hardest thing to bear."

Even so it's a relief that someone else understands, that someone else knows the steps of his dance.

Rumplestiltskin never asks if Killian is afraid of Emma, or of the Dark One. He knows better. Even when it was not possessing the woman he loves, Killian held far more hatred than fear of the Dark One. And he knows recent circumstances have done nothing to change that.

Snow doesn't ask because he might ask her back and she doesn't want to have to admit that she is. She has gone down that road before and isn't willing to admit that once again she is afraid of her daughter. But as long as she doesn't say it out loud maybe it isn't real and she can still have hope. Even so, she hold Neal a little closer and hurries whenever she is out on quiet streets.

"We'll get her back," David says once. He doesn't ask because he knows the answer. He has a scar from an arrow to his shoulder, a reminder of his unwillingness to be afraid of Snow. Perhaps that's what Emma needs a traitor part of him thinks. If he takes an arrow to the shoulder, maybe Emma will remember who she is, how much she loves him. But he is afraid for his friend, afraid that Emma will shoot something stronger than an arrow. And he is afraid for Emma if that happens.

"Aye. We will," Killian agrees. They don't talk about it beyond that. There is no need. Their own fears don't matter because they are both in this for Emma.

"Why aren't you afraid of her?" Regina asks later. "Everyone else is, even people who care about Emma. So why aren't you?"

"Why would I be afraid of her?" Killian asks in return, his tone almost derisive.

"Because she could rip your heart out and crush it as soon as look at you," Regina points out reasonably."

"That feels a bit redundant at this point. And Emma is still there, buried deep, but there. And as long has she is, she won't let the Dark Swan hurt me."

"And if she isn't, you don't care what happens to you?" Regina asks. He doesn't think she is in any position to throw stones for how people cope with losing people they love, but neither is he so he lets it go.

"If she's not, I'm far more afraid of what happens to her. And I know that sooner or later the darkness will try to make her hurt someone she loves. I believe in Emma, that she is strong enough to fight it, but if she's not… well…" he gives a tense smile.

"And as long as it is you, the darkness won't have a chance to make her hurt Henry," Regina says softly. "I mean something that won't heal like a broken heart," she amends.

"Aye," Killian agrees. "That's another part of it. And it's not just Henry I'm protecting. Emma can come back from the darkness, even without me, but if she hurts Henry, I think we both know she's not coming back from that."

"No, she wouldn't," Regina agrees.

"And if I have to be the Dark Swan's go-to pirate every time she wants to talk to any of us, that is a small price to pay to keep her and Henry both safe."

"As much as I appreciate you taking the risk instead of Henry, be careful Captain. I don't think she would come back from killing you either."

"I'm willing to give my life to save her. That's why I'm not afraid. I've already counted the cost and am more than willing to pay it." And that's it he realizes, the full truth he couldn't quite explain before. "But you don't have to worry about me being careless. I'm willing to die for her, but I'd far prefer living for her."

The Dark Swan doesn't stop visiting him. He still can't figure out whether that is some part of the real Emma missing him or whether she is here to torment him. He is tired of the dance, of stepping aside every time she comes near but he does it because it is what she needs and he is afraid of what happens, to her, to him, if he surrenders to the darkness.