Hi how are you doing?

Like I promised in the last chapter, here you have the next chapter. It was great to read all the amazing reviews that all o you let me in the last chapter. It is amazing that after so long, there are still people who want to continue reading it. Besides, I am glad that no one wanted to kill me for how I let the last chapter. I hope that you like the new one and let me some reviews.

Thanks you for their reviews to:Iaua, M. Louise E, jscat2, Camila (Guest), country-chick-20, Guest. Besides, I want to say thanks you to sweetashby and Af1011, who helped me a little bit with this chapter.

Chapter 11: A special connection

Gabby ran as fast as her leg allowed her to do it to the main door of the house; Severide and Chief Boden were behind her on her heels. She tried to open the door but it was locked so, she hit it with her hands while she tried to call him.

"It's locked" she saw that Chief Boden swore "Matt!"

"Move to one side" and Severide kicked the door with his leg a few times until the door opened "now we can get inside"

They three entered in the house. Each of them was to a different room trying to find Matt before it was too late in case that he did something to himself like the last time. Boden and Severide went to the second floor while Gabby checked the first floor.

After check the living room and the bathroom, she entered in the kitchen and saw that he was lying on the floor with his knees near to his chest and his arm around them. There were some small drops of blood in his cloth and on the floor, near to him.

"Matt!" she approached to him and grabbed his head with her hands. Her tears were falling down to his face, until that moment she didn't notice that she was crying "Matt what did you do?" she checked both of his wrists. She breathed quiet after she realized that he only had a small cut in his left wrist. Maybe he swallowed some pills again her mind said. She tried to find if there was any bottle of pills near to him but, there was anything that could indicate that he did it.

"Have you find him?" Severide said behind her

"Yeah, he is not moving" her hands were trembling while she was trying to wake up him

"Come on buddy." they could not arrive later, not again. Severide tapped softly his cheeks. "Come on buddy wake up" he shook the motionless body of his friend.

"Gabby?" Matt whispered some seconds later opening his eyes.

"What did you do?" Severide said nervous shaking his body

"Nothing" he said looking to them ashamed

"Where is the knife?" Gabby asked worried that he still had it with him. But, he didn't answer "Where it is, Matt?"

"Dammit Matt" Severide said holding him on his sweatshirt "Where it is?"

"right there" he pointed with his shaking hand to the other side of the kitchen "You said me that I had to throw it far away from me" he said smiling "and I did. It was difficult but, I could do it"

"Why did you stop of speaking with me while we were speaking by phone?" her tears were not letting her to see his face.

"I guess that I felt sleep" he said ashamed. His eyes were closing again "I am tired, I want to sleep" he rested his head against the cold tiles and closed his eyes

"Matt, stay with me. Don't fall asleep" Gabby said pattering his cheeks with one hand and with the other one she was erasing her tears.

"Did you find him?" Chief Boden said entering in the kitchen he was as worried as the other was "Matt. How is he?" he asked when he saw his young friend. He knelt in front of him and Matt opened his eyes again and looked that his chief was there too.

"He is fine" Severide said smiling brushing his hair "You have to stop of worry us like this, kiddo"

"I am sorry" he said crying again "I am sorry" he was ashamed that they found him like this. Crying like if he was a small kid. "I can't continue-" but he didn't finish the sentence. He didn't want to tell them what was happening to him. It was his problem not theirs.

"You can't continue what?" Severide said looking him concerned. He knew that there was something that Matt wasn't telling to anyone. After all, he met him fourteen years ago in the academy and, since them they have been good friend spite of they had their problems.

"nothing" he rolled his eyes avoiding to look them.

"Matt, tell us what is going on right now!" Boden yelled to him scaring to all of them, especially Matt. Boden has never yelled to Matt in all the time that he had served under his command. "Matt, son" he said trying to sound relaxed "we just want to help you. Please, tell us what is happening"

"I am not your son. You can't help me" he said drying his tears "I am not anymore one of your men, so I don't have to tell you anything. You don't have to worry about me anymore. Get out of my house! All of you!"

"Matt" Boden tried to touch him but, he moved back far from him.

"I don't want to hear how much I've disappointed you two" he looked to them angry "It is always the same. I am always disappointing my family" he whispered to his own "Just leave. Please"

"We are not leaving" Boden said staring him. Matt opened his mouth to say something however, he didn't say anything.

"ok" Gabby said breaking the tension of the room "Matt, you need that someone cure you that cut as well as sleep a few hours" Gabby helped him to get up "where do you have your first aid kit?"

"Behind the mirror of the bathroom that is in my room" he was glad that she didn't leave the room when he told them to do it. He doesn't understand why but, her presence make that he feel better and it might seem absurd but, beside her he feel stronger.

"let's go to your room" both of them went to his room letting Severide and Boden alone in the kitchen. They were asking to themselves what they could do to help their friend. He looked so broken. Severide could say that he was even worse than when the doctor said that Hallie was dead. That fateful night, Matt wanted to come back home alone, however, Shay and Severide convince him to go with them to their flat and spend the night there. As soon as they three together with Dawson entered in the house, he started to cry violently. It took to them more than one and an half hour to calm him.

"What is happening to Matt?" Severide was the first one in speak again "He wasn't like this three days ago when I looked after him because his sister had to leave. We watched the Hockey game together and had dinner together. He was doing great. And now, he wants to kill himself again"

Flashback

Matt opened slightly his eyes. At first he didn't know where he was but, when he saw the coffee table and the television, he noticed that he had fallen asleep in his couch. Tired and feeling pain in all his muscles, he sat on the couch rubbing his eyes. There was a warm blanket around his down body.

"Hey you are up" Severide said entering in the living room "Just in time to watch with me the game" he added smiling and happy that his friend was up.

"What time it is?" Matt asked rubbing his eyes again

"7:30" Kelly sat near to him and give him a mug "I make you some te. It will be good for your throat"

"Thanks" He sipped some of the warm content "Has my sister come back?"

"Yeah" Severide took the control and switch on the television "I send her home. I will be here with you tonight. So, it is better than you don't snore Kiddo" he joked

"Look who is talking. You are the one who didn't let us to sleep while we are in the firehouse"

"That is not true. The snore that we heard came from your office" he said joking in his defense

"My office" Matt thought sadly that it isn't going to be never again his.

Severide regretted to say it when he heard what Matt said. It was possible that Matt never come back to the firehouse. It was strange for Kelly to walk to his office and see that Matt's office was taken by a new Lieutenant.

"I think that you were promoting to Lieutenant so nobody can heard your snores while we are sleeping. I swear that there was one time while we were candidates that Andy and I wanted to gag you with our dirty socks" he said laughing remembering the good times that he had while he was there. Maybe, he will never be a firefighter again but, at least he still has his memories. And nobody could never take them.

"I can't believe. You two were plotting in my back"

"the game is going to start" Matt said watching the television ignoring him

"I swear that you will pay dearly for it" he pattered his shoulder

"Yeah. Sure" he laughed

"I was thinking that maybe we can share a pizza tonight but, you want to know what? Now I don't wanted to share it with you" he said laughing "You are going to eat the leftover of your mother soup while I eat your favorite pizza"

"why?" he said annoyed

"because you wanted to gag my with Andy's dirty socks"

"Oh come on. That was ten years ago and Chief Boden, Herrmann and Mouch were agree with it"

End of the flashback

"I remember that day" Boden said smiling. He caught them when Casey and Darden were near to Severide's bed with their sock in their hands prepared to gag him with them.

"I can't imagine what he could have in mind in that moment for trying to do something like that" Severide said erasing the tears that he had in her eyes.

"I can't imagine what is happening to him either" Boden said. It was frustrating for him looked him and not being able of helping him. "we have to win his trust again if we want that he tell us what is going on with him"

/

Matt was sitting in the edge of his bed while Gabby was treating his small cut. She took a bandage of his first aid kit and put it around his wrist. Since they two entered in the room any of them had say a single world. Matt seemed to be distracted looking around the room but always trying that their glances didn't collide.

"I finish" She said smiling to him "How are you?"

"I'm fine" he said hiding the bandage under the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

"Matt you have to talk with someone. If you want you can talk with me about whatever you want. I don't mind. I'll listen to you and try to help you. Always. You know it, right?"

"I am not going to do it again. I swear" he said looking the floor.

"Alright. It is a little bit late, why not you put on your pajama and go to bed? You need to rest"

"Are you going to be here with me until I sleep?" Gabby couldn't avoid smiling him because he looked like a small kid that was asking to his mother to check his wardrobe for being sure that there wasn't any monster.

"Yeah of course" she went to his wardrobe and took clean sweatpants, a shirt and some clean underwear "a hot shower will help you to relax and sleep"

"Okay " he took his clothes and walked to the bathroom

"Matt" Gabby said before he closed the door "Leave the door open" she said concerned that he did something to himself again in the bathroom.

"Sure" he said smiling shyly and he entered to the bathroom leaving the door slightly opened. Gabby left the room for giving him some intimacy so, he could shower without worrying that she was on the other room staining him.

"How is he?" Boden said when he saw her going down the stairs

"He is in the shower in this moment"

"And you let him alone?" Kelly freaked out running to the second floor of the house.

"Kelly" Boden said stopping him "We have to trust him. Had he tell you anything about why he did it?"

"No. He doesn't want to talk about it. I am worried. He said that he is never going to do something like that again. And today, he tried to cut his veins. It the second time that he tried to kill himself in one week" she was really worried; she didn't know what she could do to help him to feel better.

"Maybe he needs some professional help-" Boden said

"No" Gabby and Kelly said at the same time "that is the last thing that he needs right now"

"The problem is-" But Boden's words were silence by the buzzing of a phone "It's Matt phone" he said after all of them checked their phones. "Where it is?" They looked around the kitchen. He was the one who find it "He has received a text" he opened and he was shocked when he read it "Oh my god" was everything that he could say after read it.

"what the text say?" Kelly said grabbing the phone of the shaking hands of his chief "have you tried to kill yourself again?. It is a pity that you friends arrive before you bleed to death as you left my daughter to die. Maybe next time you should burn yourself so you know what my daughter felt" Severide read the text aloud "Son of bitch"

"It was Hallie's parents who write the text" Gabby said covering her mouth with her hand

"That is not the only text that he has from the same number" Kelly said checking his friend phone "he has twenty messages and fifteen calls from the last three days and all of them are saying the same. They are accusing him of her death and not only that but also incite him to try to kill himself"

"That is not all" Gabby said checking his mail that was on the dinner table "Look at this, there is no sender" she showed them some paper with black words that say "You are the one who should have died that night in the fire"

"He is suffering PTSD" Boden said rubbing his eyes with his hands "He does not want to recognize because he is ashamed of it, he is thinking that it makes him vulnerable. Or it is possible that he doesn't know that he is suffering it"

"What can we do?" Severide said "we can't not wait that he tells us the truth, we have to do something. The last message said that he should try to cut his veins to kill himself and he tried. In the new one is to burn himself" he was worried that while Matt was a little instable he tried to do something really stupid as burn himself.

"I am going to take him far away from here" Gabby said, she was preparing him a hot chocolate for helping him to relax. Her mind was telling her that she has to do something and fast.

"Where?" Boden said

"I will tell you later. In that moment he has finished his shower and it is probably that he is asking where I am" she ran to the second floor with the mug in her hands "Hey, you finish" she said opening the door of the master room

"Where were you?" he said worried

"I was preparing you this" she gave him the mug

"You didn't have to do it" he said smiling taking the mug "Hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows?"

"I know that you love it" his cheeks turn red.

"Have you seen my phone?" he was concerned that the phone rang while he was in the shower and they found the message or even worse the threatening letters

"No, I didn't see it. If you want I can help you to find it tomorrow"

"Ok" he sat in his bed and sipped some of the hot content of the mug "It is delicious" he said smiling to her. When she looked him she started to laugh "What?" he said

"You have a chocolate mustache" she approached to him and cleaned with her thumb the rest of chocolate of his upper lip "Now you don't have it. I should left it, you were so cute with it" and she clean her thumb with her mouth "you are right it is delicious" he was shocked after saw what she did "Come on finish your drink and try to sleep" he nodded and drink the rest of the content. She took the mug and put it in the nightstand near to a water glass "let me tuck you" he laid on his back and Gabby tucked him with the duvet "Close your eyes" he did it and she took his hand caressing the back of his hand. Some minutes later his breathing was heavier, he had fall asleep. Gabby smiled and gave him a small tender kiss him in his forehead.

"I love you Matt"

She left the room and come back to the kitchen were Boden and Severide was reading all the messages and text of Matt's phone.

"they are tormenting Matt during the last three days" Boden said "What is your plan Gabby?"

"I am going to go with him to the cabin and I will be with him during a few days. No phone, no e-mail, no internet, no letters. He will get better"

"It is a good idea" Severide said "I will go with you"

"no" Boden said "In this moment Gabby is the only one who can help Matt. He is ashamed and he will never open to us with this" he said referring to the texts "you are his best friend"

"Severide" she said when she looked that Kelly was annoyed by Boden's last comen

"I know, you two has something really special, like Shay and I have. Take care of him, will you?"

"I will take care of him. I promiss. But, I need to go home and package a few things. We are leaving tomorrow as soon as he wakes up. I am sorry Chief but, he can't continue here one day more"

"I understand, just promise me that you will take care of him"

"I will. I will call you everyday"

"We will be with him until you come back" Severide promise

"I will find you a replacement when we come back to the firehouse"

/

The next morning Matt woke up felling much better that the day before, during one moment he forgot his entire problem but as soon as he saw the white bandage in his wrist he remembered everything. Suddenly he heard a knock in the door and it was opened slightly.

"Matt?" Gabby asked entering in the room "are you up?"

"Gabby?" he asked surprised of seeing her in his house.

"Yeah it's me" she entered in the room and sat in the edge of the bed. She was dressed with a dark leggings and a white shirt with a v-neck "get dress, we are living in one hour" she said smiling to him

"We? Where?" he asked shooked. He didn't remember that she said that they were going to anywhere last night.

"we are going to the cabin in the Lake" she rose of the bed, walked to his wardrobe and took a jeans, a shirt and hoodie sweatshirt and put in on the bed "Get dress, if not you are going to miss breakfast and I am doing waffles. You have five minutes before that I start eating yours" and smiling she let the room

Matt got dressed immediately and walked to his kitchen where Gabby was finishing of making the waffles. He was really hungry, since the brunch that he had yesterday after his doctor appointment he didn't eat anything and now he was starving.

"Whoa" she said laughing "look at you, you are faster than mine nephews, I guess that you are hungry" she put in front of him a plate with two waffles

"Thanks" he took the plate and sat in the table "Gabby what are you doing here?"

"I told you, I am going to go with you to the lake"

"Why? It is because of what happen yesterday?" he said not looking to her

"No" she didn't wanted to tell him that she was worried of letting him alone and he tries to kill himself "I just want to spend some time with my best friend" she sat near to him with her own plate

"It's better than Shay doesn't hear that, if not she will be jealous of me" he bit a small piece of his waffles.

They ate the rest of their breakfast in silence looking to each other. Matt was the first one who finished it and cleaned the dirty dishes while Gabby cleaned the table.

"Tell me the truth Gabby" he said closing the tap

"Okay. I am worried about you" she looked him. She knew that she couldn't lie to him, for him she was like an open book as well as he was for her. Both of them know when the other one is suffering or is sad because of something. They share a special connection that they never feel with anyone before. "Yesterday, you looked like when I let you alone one week ago during a few minutes and you swallowed the pills. I am really worried"

"I am not going to do anything like that again" he said grabbing her hand "I swear"

"Matt" she said "You said that when you were in the hospital" she made a small pause and added "I saw the text and the notes. I think that you have PTSD"

"What?" He shouted and he started to look around the kitchen until he found his phone and his letters, which were in the countertop.

"PTSD, Posttraumatic stress disorder" she explained "It's something common in firefighter" after Severide and Boden come back to the firehouse, she couldn't sleep so, she spend part of the last night reading some information in internet in order to know how to help him to feel better. She knows that his job is dangerous and can cause some psychological problem to them. It was common in firefighter to felt guilty when the victim that they tried to save died or, when they are the only one who survived.

"I know what PTSD means. Why do you check my phone and my mail?" he yelled annoyed taking the letters and putting it on the trash "You hadn't have right to do it"

"It was by accident. I am sorry" she move back "I just want to help you, that is why I am going to go with you to the cabin. You need to rest and let Chicago for a few weeks" he was back and she approached to him putting her hands in his shoulder.

"I'm sorry for yelling you" he said turned and faced her after a few seconds of silence "Thanks for being my friend" he hugged her and rested his head in her shoulder "I am scary" he confess crying in her shoulder. She hugged him and let him to cry. "I didn't want to do it. I am the one who should have died in that fire instead of Hallie. She had a family who loved her"

"You also have that family, Matt" she said moving his face

"That was before. Now, I don't have anyone. I blew it"

"That is not true. You have me and, I am not going to go to anywhere. Come on, get ready we have a long way until arrive to the cabin" she said some seconds later and kissed him in his forehead.

Thanks for reading I hope that you liked the next few chapter are going to be about their weekend in the Lake. The next chapter that I will try to proofread will be the next one of "Let her go". When my beta (af1011) proofread this chapter, I will update it. In this moment he is really busy.

Please let me a review with what do you thing that could happen between them and in the future as well as your opinion.

Bye

Namine Redfield