A/N Hi all! Sorry for the delay. Life has been insane but the novel's ready to submit, the kittens are getting bigger, I am slipping back into the writing mindset...yeah, things are improving. I even have a man in my life now, if you can believe it! Let's see if we can bring a little happiness to our new vampire as well, why don't we? Also, major thanks for the nomination over at The Lemonade Stand. I love that you guys are enjoying something different from me! You're the best!

Fill Me with Your Poison Chapter 5

Bella's mind was whirling almost faster than Edward could make out. He saw flashes of a beautiful woman with light brown hair and blue eyes, smiling, with a young Bella and younger, happier-looking Charlie Swan. He saw her reading his Bella a bedtime story, stroking her hair and answering her myriad of questions about the book patiently. He saw a devastated, drained-looking Charlie returning after his search for Renee, telling Bella that the woman had found a new life without them, that she didn't love them anymore. He felt his mate's pain in that memory as vividly as if had been his own. Perhaps it was worse for him because it was her pain. He wasn't sure.

Shopping trips, visits to the park, long drives in the car…his Bella took him through all her memories of her time with her mother. She sang to her little girl as she cleaned up a skinned knee and put a bandage on it. She held her when she woke up from a nightmare and wiped away her tears. No matter what Charlie Swan had told his daughter, her mother had loved her. That was clear as day in the girl's memories.

After a time, the memories stopped, and his Bella lay still in his arms. He stroked her hair patiently, waiting for her to say in words what she'd already told him with her mind.

"I thought she left because she didn't love me."

As if it was possible not to love his Bella. Edward chafed at the very idea.

"That was a particularly cruel lie your father told you." His hatred for Charlie Swan had grown by leaps and bounds with every memory.

"Was it, though?" Bella pulled back, and her sad red eyes met his angry ones. "If she really loved me, how could she have left me like that? Without a word of explanation. Making me think that…"

"Think that she didn't love you, because your father told you so." Edward shook his head. "I can't speak to her actions, Bella, as I've never met her and only know what you remember and the bit that your father showed me, but I can say from the memories you have, without a doubt, that your mother loved you." He stroked her cheek. "How could she not?"

His words brought a quick smile to her face. "You're a little biased, but thank you for saying that."

"I am," he admitted, sliding his hands over her shoulders and down her arms to link fingers with her, hoping that his touch would ground her as hers did him. "But I saw your memories, remember. She loved you."

"Not enough to stay," she said softly.

"No." Edward tugged her closer so that their bodies were touching. He didn't know how to defend her mother's actions, as he wasn't sure there was a defense for them, but he also understood them in a way that she might not.

"How could she leave me? I get her falling out of love with my father." Bella's voice tightened. "It happens every day. But to leave me without a word? To never send me a birthday card or call me? I don't understand."

"Could you have walked away from me, Bella?"

She flinched at the question, at the thought of doing something that every fiber of her being would rebel against. "No, of course not! How could you ask me that?"

"I'm sorry, my love." He released her hands and slipped his arms around her waist. "You're thinking like a human, and I'm just trying to remind you that your mother found her mate. Her other half. The vampire that made her feel the way that I make you feel. Could you have walked away from that to return to your old family, your old life?"

Just the thought of it made Bella want to die. Not die like she had just done, to be reborn, but die forever, because not being with Edward wasn't a world she could even contemplate.

"No. Never."

He soothed her with a light caress on her back.

"But I don't have a child, either."

It was a very valid point and one Edward had been contemplating since he'd realized what had become of her mother.

"I don't know what the bond between a mother and child is like. It's been much longer than I care to think about since I've had that." Caramel-colored curls and warm green eyes flashed in his memory. "I know, from reading others, that it's a very powerful kind of love, just as ours is." Bella rested her head against his shoulder, seeming to take comfort in his words. "I just don't know which is more powerful."

"Since she walked away, I guess it's the mating bond."

Edward shook his head. "We can't know that. Maybe she stayed away to keep you safe. This happened prior to our induction into society. Less was known then, and as a new vampire, she was entirely reliant upon her mate to give her information. Your father could have threatened exposure if she approached you." Edward wouldn't put that past Charlie Swan for a minute. "In some rare cases, vampires have completely forgotten their human lives after they turn. There are any number of explanations that don't involve her not loving you enough."

It interested Edward. He'd never heard of a human with a family finding his or her mate and leaving that family behind. He imagined it must have happened before, but it was likely very rare. The mating bond was known to be the most powerful force in their society, but could a parent's love equal or even eclipse it?

"Okay, but even if she stayed away then to keep me safe, or to keep my dad from outing the vampires, why hasn't she contacted me since? He can't cause trouble for vampires now."

Edward didn't have an answer to that question that wouldn't upset her. "I don't know, Bella." He hesitated before voicing his thoughts. "Do you want me to find her?"

Her head whipped up from his chest. "You can do that?"

Edward shrugged. "Probably. We don't have a huge registry of vampires or anything, but we do have ways of finding one another. One of my brothers, Demetri, is very skilled at finding individuals." It would require a few questions to Charlie Swan and an old item belonging to her, but Edward had no doubt that Demetri could locate her if that's what Bella wanted.

"She left me. I don't know if I want to find her."

Edward understood her reticence. "There's no rush, my beauty. If you decide you want to locate her, I'll get it done. If you don't, we'll leave it alone." He cupped her chin in his hand. "I love you." He smiled as the tension seemed to visibly seep out of her at his words. "I will never leave you, and I will always do whatever I can to make you happy."

"Even if it means finding my runaway vampire mother who's God knows where on this earth?" she asked, smiling a little.

"Even then," he vowed. "There is nothing I wouldn't do for you."

"Is that so?" Her lips twitched as she tugged lightly on the collar of his shirt.

"That is very much so," he said, smiling at where her thoughts had gone. Bless his sweet mate and her delightfully dirty mind.

"Will you make me forget?" she asked, touching his neck lightly.

"How?" he asked, although he already had his answer.

"Touch me." She took his face between her hands. "Make it so that all I can feel, all I can think about, is you." She wanted to get lost in him, forget about both her parents, humans versus vampires, mating bonds versus a mother's love, all of it. None of it mattered when she could just be with him.

"Here?" He reached down to the button on her jeans. "Now?"

"Right here," she demanded, her grip tightening on his shirt. "Right now." And without another word, she yanked, and his shirt tore right off his body, making her laugh through the sudden voracious need for him. "Oops."

Edward chuckled, enjoying the look of surprise, embarrassment ,and desire on his mate's face. "Don't ever feel bad for wanting me so much that you have to rip my clothes off to have at me, love."

He growled lightly when her hands began to touch the contours of his chest. He flipped open the button of her jeans and lowered her zipper. "Hard and fast, then?" he asked as her hands stroked down his abdomen, heading toward his pants.

"I don't believe I ever said, or thought, anything about fast," she murmured, delighting him all the more as she made quick work of his pants.

"Fast speed, not fast time," he clarified, grunting as her hand gripped his hard length.

"Yeah, that'll work," she told him as she squeezed him just hard enough to border on pain without actually hurting him.

"Well, then." Before she could blink, he had her flat on his desk. "This has to go." And her favorite Forks T-shirt, the one that she'd clearly gotten from her father, came off with one swift tug. Bella reached up, took it from him, and tossed it over her shoulder, where it landed on a floor lamp across the room.

"Fuck him," she muttered.

Edward wasn't going to allow her to be distracted. She'd made a request, and he intended to fulfill it. He took his vows very seriously.

"He's not my type." At Bella's startled laugh, he grinned down at her. "That's more like it."

The rest of her clothes were discarded with practiced speed. She lay naked, open and ready on his antique cherry desk. It was a priceless treasure from the Regency period, but the only thing priceless to Edward in that moment was his lovely mate.

"You're exquisite," he told her, drinking her in with his eyes. How had he survived an entire century without her? As far as he was concerned, everything before she came into his life was irrelevant. She was his everything.

"Edward, please. Touch me."

He was helpless to do anything but honor her request. His hands molded to her breasts as his lips brushed lightly over hers. She sighed against his mouth and made him smile as she arched into his hands.

"I want to explore every inch of your body for hours, days…forever," he murmured, making her moan and ache for him to do just that. "And I will," he promised before nipping at the skin along her jaw. "Later." And he entered her hard and fast, just like he'd promised, making her cry out his name as she immediately clenched around him.

"Hold on, beautiful," he ordered, holding himself still, even though he wanted to mount her like a prize stallion. Her hands gripped each side of the desk as he lifted her hips, sliding even deeper inside her.

They both moaned, and their eyes met. Neither needed to be a mind reader to see the love, to feel the connection in that moment. They held for one beat, for two, before she gripped him with her thighs and gave him the prodding he needed. His hips pistoned as he took her, hard and fast, just as he'd promised. Every cry, every moan from her lips spurred him on, as did her thoughts. Her hands gripped the desk, and it was little surprise when her makeshift handles disintegrated to dust between her fingers.

Neither of them noticed the destruction of the treasure. She just reached up and wrapped herself tightly around him. He drove her hard into the desk, the wood creaking and giving after one particularly deep thrust. They crashed to the ground and kept on kissing and moving, not caring if the walls were to tumble around them. All that mattered in that moment was the pleasure they felt in one another. He succeeded in driving the thoughts of her family from her mind, and she did the same for him. The hate he always carried in his heart toward his maker, the plotting, the planning, the hunger that was never sated, all of it fell away as he lost himself in her.

They didn't notice when the music started in the club, nor when Emmett and Jasper went past with their chosen companions for the night, nor when the music ended and the club went silent again. Neither could tell how many times they'd come, because they were too lost in the pleasure to bother noticing. It just felt like one steady wave of pure energy that pulsed and shocked over and over again. Her on top, him on top, facing away from one another, on their sides; the positions changed, but the movement never did. Hard and fast, just like she wanted.

When they finally came down, after one last cry of his name from her lips, after one more moan from him, they collapsed in each other's arms. He caressed her back, and she nuzzled his neck.

"Thank you," she said softly after a time.

Edward chucked softly. "You never have to thank me for that. It was my pleasure as well."

I wish we could just stay like this forever.

Edward smiled at her thought. His mind filled with an image of the two of them in a remote cabin somewhere in Canada, or on a beach on a deserted island. No family, no club, no phones-nothing but the two of them.

"God, I love the thought of that," she murmured, stretching her arms above her head.

Edward watched in appreciation as her perky breasts bounced with her movement. It took him a minute to process what she'd said.

"What did you say?"

Bella's brow creased at the sudden sharpness of his tone. "I said that I loved the thought of that, though I think I'd prefer the beach to the cold in Canada." Then she laughed. "I guess that doesn't really matter now, though, does it? I don't get cold like a human does."

Edward sat up, with Bella now straddling his lap. "Bella, I didn't say that out loud."

"But you must have. How else could I have…" Her voice trailed off as it hit her. "Can I read minds, too?"

Edward was baffled. "Only one way to find out." He looked into her eyes and stroked her cheek softly, making her think that he was going to think something sweet and lovely. He wanted to give her the opposite of that to throw her off.

I promised not to kill your father, and I won't, but would you be completely pissed off if I killed Jacob? He really has to die for those things he thought about you.

Bella gasped and clapped her hands. "I heard it! I mean, you! Why is that?"

Edward had mixed feelings about her being able to hear his thoughts. On the one hand, it would be easy to have conversations with her that nobody else would be privy to, and of course, just like he'd told her, she'd be able to know everything he wanted and give it to him right there. But the hypocritical side of him felt like he was on display and he'd never have any thoughts to himself.

Bella poked him in the chest. "You don't get to protest that, after years of knowing everything everyone else was thinking."

He laughed and grabbed her hand before she could jab him again. "Okay, that's true. It just feels weird."

She huffed. "Yes, it does."

It occurred to Edward that they now had something no other vampire couple had ever had, though. Some had special gifts, but never had they shared the same one as far as he knew. His maker was able to read minds, only through touch, and Edward had amplified that to the point that he heard all the thoughts around him. Could Bella hear even more? He wondered at her.

"I hear you, and I think Emmett…ugh." She wrinkled her nose in disgust and made Edward laugh heartily.

"Yeah, you don't want to spend too much time in that head."

"Could that possibly feel good…wait! I don't want to know."

Edward grinned wolfishly. "I'd be happy to show you…" He broke off when she smacked his chest. "I'll have to teach you how to tune it out."

"Thank you." She tilted her head and studied him.

"What?" he asked, feeling like she was boring into his mind with her gaze. It was a very unpleasant situation.

"Do you think I should look for my mother?"

He was rather taken aback by the question, but he knew why she'd asked it. His thoughts would give her the answer, even if his mouth didn't want to.

Yes. At her nod, he verbalized for her. "I think you have questions that need answering. The only way to get those answers is to find her, unless you want another go at your father." Her eye roll gave him his answer there. "I didn't think so. Is there anybody he might have told that might know more of the story than the little bit we got?"

Bella nodded slowly. "Yeah, but you're not going to like it."

Edward cringed at her mental image of an older version of Jacob. "Damn it."

Bella laughed. "Sorry. He's my dad's best friend. If anybody will know…"

"Fine. But I'm still going to kill his son." Edward waited, but got no response, and Bella's mind was blank. "Is that okay?"

"It feels weird to say yes," she responded, making him laugh.

"Do you want to say no?" He would honor her wish, even if it would kill him.

Bella could see how important it was to him, and it didn't bother her as much as it should, which bothered her instead. "I don't know. Can we table it for now? Don't we have enough on our plates?"

Finding her mother, killing his father, possible world domination…yes, he supposed so. "Okay."

Bella shook her head at his thoughts. "We have a couple other things on the list."

"We do?" he asked, smiling as she glanced about the room.

"Well, we kind of destroyed your office."

It was true. The desk was completely trashed, and one of his bookshelves had toppled, taking a lamp with it. The computer had been thrown on the floor when he put her on the desk in the first place. It looked like a bomb had gone off in the room.

"I'll get someone to clean it up." Edward didn't bother himself with domestic tasks.

"No, we'll clean it up. After."

He started to sulk, but when he heard the after and saw the direction her thoughts had taken, he didn't care anymore. "After, huh?"

She shifted and took him inside her again. "Yes, after."