BEHOLD ME FAMILY! I am Leto, Lion of Atreides, return from the desert sand to announce Secher Nbiw.
Oh, no matter how many times Shego heard that line, it always sent a chill down her spine. Leto Atreides just strolled into the throne room like John Wayne and confronted his fruitcake Aunt, and proceeded to go all Bruce Lee on the palace guards. Not for the first time, Shego was convinced that coming up with the concept of a Popular Literary Genres class had been one of the most brilliant academic ideas she'd ever had. Frank Herbert, JRR Tolkien, Bram Stoker…there were SO many authors that she could work with, in particular Frank Herbert's Dune and Children of Dune.
One of us had to accept the agony…he was always the stronger. History is written on the sands of Arrackis. A chapter has ended, swept away by the whirlwind. A door has closed…but another has opened; and on the other side? Our Future!
"MAN, that ending always gives me chills," Shego shivered, flipping on the lights and returning to the podium in front of her classroom. "So…questions, comments, concerns?"
"I thought the miniseries was a lot better than the book."
"How so, Charlie?"
"Well Mrs. P, the story works a lot better with Leto and Ghanima being teenagers instead of little kids. Those two as nine year olds was just plain creepy."
Well Shego could hardly fault him for that. Children of Dune was one of the rare cases where Shego felt that the screen adaption had actually been better than the book and Charlie had been absolutely right in her opinion. The whole concept was a lot more plausible and a lot less creepy with the twins being late teenagers instead of nine year olds.
The school bell rang and the kids began piling their books into their bags, more than excited for the holiday break. "Okay everyone; enjoy your time off, have a safe holiday, and always remember…nothing interesting happens after midnight." Good to see that that last bit still got a few laughs. Her teaching mentor had always said that the really memorable teachers always developed a quirk or trademark. Boy had she ever been right! A few of the students wished her a Merry Christmas on their way out and Shego settled in to wait for Gracie.
KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKP
"Vacation, all I ever wanted," Gracie cheered as she led the charge into the house. For the next two weeks, all of her academic concerns were non-existent. For two weeks, she didn't have a care in the world…that is until the foursome walked into the kitchen and saw Mom wielding a fire extinguisher on what used to be the section of the kitchen counter where the toaster sat. A toaster? A freaking TOASTER? Mom was so culinarily inept that she accidentally set a TOASTER on fire? Gracie…Gracie wasn't sure if she should be amused or…horribly ashamed.
"Kimmie, why do I smell something burn…" Momma let out a grunt as she collided with a shocked Gracie, taking in the sight before her, the scene that had played out in her beloved kitchen.
"I…I was just…trying to toast a bagel," Mom utterly refused to look her wife or daughters in the eye. Nicky, seated in his high chair at the table, was staring at Mom with rapt attention. "Nicky…Nicky and I were just…so…so hungry."
Wow…Gracie had heard of uncomfortable silences but this had to have been one for the ages. No one wanted to move, either out of embarrassment or sheer and utter shock. Finally, a smile crept across Momma's face and she burst out laughing, and not just regular laughing. This was Monty Python meets Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein, all delicately seasoned with a generous helping of SNL. Momma looked to be losing her balance so Gracie rushed to steady her.
"AHA…ha…oh Kimmie, thank you," Momma wheezed, gasping for breath. "I haven't laughed like that in years!"
Looking to Mom, Gracie was pleased to see that she at least had enough spirit to fix Momma with a steely glare. Watching these two go back and forth was more entertaining than anything on TV. They were against it but Gracie was POSITIVE that if they put cameras in the Palace, they could make a reality show that would blow the Kardashians out of the water. What it must have been like to see Mom and Momma in their heyday, back before Mom had gotten pregnant. Based on the stories she grew up hearing, her parents took competitiveness and rivalry to astronomical levels. Moments like this, Gracie and her sibs could really see that fire in their parents' eyes.
Momma took the glare in stride, smiled, and walked up and pulled Mom into a bear hug. "Alright munchkins, enough gawking; let's help your Mom clean up."
The twins made a beeline for the linen closet for towels. Gracie meanwhile gingerly picked up the charred remains of what used to be the toaster and headed outside to the trash can.
"I hate it when you do that," Kim mumbled.
"I'm sure I have no idea what you mean."
"You know darn well what I mean Missy," Kim snapped back, struggling against the hug. "You pull me into your arms and give that 'I'm the only one in the world who matters' look. Makes me feel like you're playing me like a fiddle."
"Are you kidding me?" Was this woman serious? Did Kim have the gall to think that SHE of all people had the right to complain about being played like a fiddle; HER; with that infernal puppy dog pout? "Little Miss Sad Puppy Dog Pout is going to lecture ME on being played like a fiddle?"
"Oh brother," Gracie moaned, shaking the snowflakes out of her hair as she came back in. "Could you to PLEASE get a room? I feel like a need a shot of insulin when you're like that."
It was a losing battle and Kim knew it but she fought to keep a straight face. Cracking a smile Kim leaned up and playfully snapped at the tip of her wife's nose. "Grace Anne Possible, just you wait. Someday you're going to be so madly in love with someone that you just want to hold them and kiss them until the world comes to an end."
And when that day finally arrives," Shego hefted her wife around to the older woman could look their eldest daughter in the face. "And when your children start complaining about you and their dad being too lovey dovey, in that glorious moment, you're going to realize that your dear old Moms DO know what they're talking about on more than one occasion."
"Keep telling yourself that Momma," Gracie laughed as she caught the towel thrown at her by Zoe. "You guys have your moments; I'll give you that. But no matter how you slice it, you're still parents."
"Yeah yeah," Shego released her wife and turned to face the scortch marks on her beautiful kitchen. "Well…since the kitchen's in need of a little TLC, if we all do a good job, I'll treat us to some Thai tonight."
That sure got Gracie's attention. Whether she was four years old or forty, Kim and Shego could be fairly sure that Thai food would always be like crack to their eldest daughter. Shego sure didn't complain. ANYthing was better than those god awful nacos that she craved, all thanks to that little stint in Kimmie's womb. And with the offer of a night out as a reward, everyone else was sufficiently motivated. After half an hour of scrubbing, the counter top began looking like it was at least halfway presentable. By the time Abby had gotten up from her nap…well, the counter wasn't going to make the cover of Better Homes and Gardens any time soon but was at least clean.
"Do I even want to know what happened in here while I was sleeping?"
"No," Kim instantly barked, eyes darting to each of her kids. "You do not. And so help me, I will thump the first person who tries to tell Abby ANYTHING!"
Gracie and the twins all shared a good laugh at Mom's expense. Once the flurry of giggles subsided, the Possible family traipsed out to the family Chevy Traverse to enjoy a family meal and kick start the holiday break off right. Kim pulled into Taste of Thai, the local Thai restaurant of Gracie's choice, and Gracie immediately led the charge inside, barely waiting for the car to stop.
Pad Thai Chicken…Pad Thai Chicken…PAD THAI CHIKCEN! Gracie's mouth was salivating like a starving man staring at a Thanksgiving turkey. The seating hostess led them to their seats and within minutes, Gracie was staring at her own little plate of Heaven.
"Ugggghhhhhh," the thoroughly full fourteen year old groaned, rubbing her bulging stomach after the meal. "I'm sporting a serious food baby over here."
Abby, seated next to Gracie, rolled her eyes and mussed up her charge's hair. "Try carrying an ACTUAL baby, squirt. Then maybe you can have the right to complain."
"Try carrying TWINS," Kim smiled, wrapping her long slender arm around the middle Possible children.
The family traded conversation back and forth and eventually decided to return to the old homestead. The burnt smell was still lingering in the kitchen, the twins, after their baths were taken and PJs were donned, immediately laid claim to the living room floor and had talked George the Naked Mole Rat into a board game. Good ol' George, Kim sighed as she took her note pad and settled in on the couch. Just like Rufus. Wherever you are old friend, your family misses you.
As was her tradition on a Friday night, Gracie took up her Bodhran drum and began working on a little diddy, "to keep the family's spirits up" as Gracie would put it. The twins got a kick out of it and quite often pleaded for their big sis to take requests. Gracie and her sibs had their share of spats but Kim had to marvel at what a wonderful relationship her daughters had, infinitely better that Kim's relationship to her brothers at that age. Em and Zoe worshiped their older sister like a heroine from a comic book. And Gracie? Well Gracie wasn't above messing with her sisters, as most older sisters do, but God have mercy on anyone who dared endanger her baby sisters.
Gracie had just finished her solo rendition of "The Little Beggerman" when Shego, her culinary sanctuary now completely spotless, tapped her on the shoulder.
"Mom's in book mode right now. Wanna spar with your Momma?"
"I guess I could take you to town Momma."
Shego fixed her daughter with a challenging glare that Kimmie had received numerous times in her spouse's youth. "Only in your mind's eye my VERY young apprentice."
Em and Zoe caught the interplay, their game having just concluded with George emerging as the victor, and the two burst out in a fit of giggles. Ever since they were born the twins had lived with Momma's little passion and the constant bickering between Momma and Abby. Much to Abby's chagrin, the twins seemed to be becoming Jedi just like their Momma. The twins had elected to attend last year's Middleton Space-Con dressed as Momma's Ewoks. Momma and Gracie had recently taken up Kendo and the twins always liked to imagine it was a lightsaber battle.
"Can we come watch you Momma" Zoe asked, displaying her own version of Kim's dreaded puppy dog pout.
"You WANT us to come watch," Emily breathed, waving her hands as if to cast a spell.
Shego nearly choked. Had…had her daughter really just done that? She…Shego couldn't think of a time when she'd been prouder of Emily Abigail Possible. Donning a look of mock anger, Shego began advancing on her daughter. "Oh; so you think your Momma's weak minded, do you?" Emily could already sense what was about to happen, giggling and looking around for an avenue of escape.
Shego shot forward, grabbing her daughter by the ankle and hauling her over. With a delicate precision that allowed her to disarm bombs or hack even the most advance computer system, Shego's fingers danced across her terminally ticklish daughter, filling the living room with squeals of delight.
"Come on you two," Shego breathed, getting a grip on her own laughter. "Come watch your weak minded Momma show your big sister exactly how much she still has to learn."
KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKP
Mom and Momma were TOTALLY going to love this spankin Christmas present. Abby had been a total genius for suggesting it. Most Christmas seasons, the girls each got their Moms separate presents but this year, all agreed that they wanted to pool their money and do something very big this year. The three had spent the entire weekend wracking their brains, trying to come up with something good when, after voicing their frustrations to Abby after church, their long time nanny and confidant suggested the girls get a professional portrait done of the four kids. That…that was…so brilliant that Gracie couldn't believe that they hadn't thought of it before! Mom was a serious camera jockey on family vacations and Momma never needed an excuse to flash her snapshots, no matter how it embarrassed the parties involved. They could all wear their Sunday best for the photo and make it real classy.
And so the Possible children found themselves inside the Shutterbug Studio at Middleton Mall. Abby had agreed to take the kids out Christmas shopping but Mom was deeply curious as to what her girls were planning…and why exactly were they bringing a change of clothes…and why was Abby bringing Nicky with them? Had Momma not been sleeping in, they would've been peppered with even more distractions like how if they really loved their mothers, they wouldn't keep secrets. Momma constantly complained about Mom's patented puppy dog pout but she was either blissfully or deliberately ignorant of just how heavy a guilt trip she could lay on the people she loved.
Thank goodness for small mercies, Gracie thought to herself with a smile as she took one last look in the mirror. The cream colored dress and blouse was a nice touch. And the sterling necklace with the small black pearl her parents had gotten her last year had really completed the ensemble. Man…even in church clothes, Gracie A. Possible looked good!
"Alright little miss runway model," Gracie could see Abby's reflection in the mirror, rolling her eyes behind Gracie's back. "You look fine. The photographer's waiting."
Gracie stuck her tongue out, turned back to the mirror and decided that she looked ready…but NOT because Abby told her!
The photographer directed the twins in front with Nicky seated between them. Gracie was kneeling on the platform behind them with her arm around her sisters. It took some coaxing but Em and Zoey were able to get a smile out of their brother and get him to hold it.
SNAP…SNAP…SNAP…
All three of the photos turned out great. The studio had a wide selection of frames available and after a brief discussion, the trio of Possible sisters had settled on the finishing touches to their master present for their parents.
Comfortably back in their street clothes, Gracie stopped her sibs up short of the food court. "Alright ladies; oath time." The trio joined hands and circled up. Together, the sisters recited their promise:
Under threat of death
Under pain of torture
NEVER shall we spill our guts!
Sisters forever!
Every time those three swore their secret oath, it made Abby regret never having any sisters. It sure as Hell was better than some of the "oaths" her older brothers had made her swear; cleaner too. Sometimes, it was a marvel that Abigail Normal had escaped her four older brothers with so little emotional scarring as she did. But…even as the thoughts left her head, she knew that she wasn't being fair. As far as childhoods went, hers may have been greasy and caked in mud but she wouldn't change a bit of it. Charlie, Ray, Bobby, and Steve…they were and always would be her Big Bros. Rubbing her protruding stomach, she once again took joy in the fact that said brothers were going to be Uncles. Their baby sis was going to have a baby all her own.
"Alright girls, chow time," Abby announced, gesturing at the food court. "And Gracie, PLEASE choose something other than that industrial slop Beuno Nacho calls Mexican food."
Author's Notes:
Christmas in June. I thought it would be funny to make Kim unable to even toast a bagel in the kitchen without something horrible happening. Oddly enough, it took me a while to come up with that Star Wars veiled insult.
Children of Dune is the intellectual property of Frank Herbert and the copyrighted property of SyFy channel.