Congratulations customer, for wanting to buy the Hades PJOmetronic. When we say congratulations… we actually mean that we're shocked that you would actually have the guts to do such a thing after all the accidents we've had since Hades is a bit of a grouch.
Overview
Before opening your Hades PJOmetronic box, you must follow these steps:
1. You must prepare some space in your basement/closet or any other place that's dark and preferably underground for your Hades PJOmetronic to stay.
2. ORDER A LARGE PIZZA WITH ONLY OLIVES AS TOPPING AND LEAVE IT OUTSIDE THE BOX.
3. Do not question step 2. Even we don't know why it's necessary.
4. Open the front of the lid and then back away slowly. As your Hades PJOmetronic is slowly eating, DO NOT try to say something or do anything. Let it eat in peace. If possible, try not breathing either.
5. Then, introduce your Hades PJOmetronic to the basement place that you've prepared for him. Your Hades PJOmetronic will want nothing more than a large, dark, underground space and will decorate things by himself.
Your Hades PJOmetronic will include the following:
One Hades, Lord of the Underworld
One Complete Set of Armor, Weapons, and a Chariot
One Miniature Helm of Darkness
One Miniature Hades Staff and Sword of Hades
One Dark Throne
Now, I suppose at this point that you're wondering how you and your Hades PJOmetronic will get along. Well, the thing is, for the first two weeks you shouldn't even bother checking up on him. He will use this time to get used to things, and he'll prefer being left undisturbed during this time.
Also, the Hades PJOmetronic is not recommended for beginners, or even experts for that matter. You might want to try something less dangerous like building a nuclear reactor in your home.
After several days, you will notice weird things like the shadows lengthening or bad smells coming from wherever your Hades PJOmetronic is living. You might also notice things like the screams of tortured souls echoing around your house as well sometimes.
Your Hades will probably only come up during times when it is dark or to argue with his brothers, if you've ordered them.
However, that does not mean that you and your Hades PJOmetronic cannot get along well. Even if he won't show it, your Hades PJOmetronic will begin having a fondness for you after a month. He might occasionally agree to torture burglars, bullies, and your annoying dinner guests who can't take up hints that you don't want them there. He might also occasionally dump gold and other treasures somewhere for you (but be warned, do not get greedy.)
You should also know that your Hades will not require nourishment aside from that pizza you gave him. He won't particularly care about worship and will prefer that you leave him alone. But be warned though, though your Hades may be small, the skeletons that he can summon will be human sized. Or larger.
Troubleshooting:
I didn't buy a pizza like you told me to: What? Are you insane? Couldn't you see that that line was bolded, italicized, underlined, and CAPITALIZED? But, if this has happened, you need to do two things:
1. Make your peace with God.
2. Start repenting all of the sins you've done in your life. After all, you're about to cross the river Styx soon, and the guys there might go lenient on you if you show some remorse.
I bought a pizza, but without olives: A pizza without olives, or a smaller one, is equal to no pizza at all. Please look at the above.
Loneliness: Even the god of the dead isn't immune to this. Recommended are: Persephone, Nico, Bianca, The Furies, Poseidon, Zeus, and Hazel PJOmetronics.
Rebellious: Around one in a hundred Hades PJOmetronics will show this defect. You see, your Hades will begin plotting to overthrow your other PJOmetronics, most likely Zeus and/or Poseidon. A Nico PJOmetronic might help him see sense, but otherwise generally just talking to him in this situation works.