Awakening Quake
By Misha

Disclaimer in Chapter One.

A.N- I had to decide where I was going with Steve's romantic history and I decided that he has sexual experience but no romantic experience except for Peggy. Also, when I was writing this, I came up with some more ideas for the really dark season one AU that I'm planning, so I may have that started in the next week or two.

Chapter Twenty-One: Confessions

After dinner Bucky declared that he was pretty tired and retired to his bedroom, leaving Skye and Steve alone.

Steve was afraid Skye would decide to call it a night as well, but instead she headed to the apartment's small kitchen to wash the dinner dishes.

"You don't have to do that." Steve told her. "I was going to do it."

Tony employed a staff who did the major cleaning, but everyone still had to do their own small chores. Which was fine with Steve, in fact having someone else clean up after his made him a little uncomfortable.

"I want to." Skye told him. "But you can dry."

Steve nodded and together they washed the few dishes in no time. Afterwards, Steve took her hand and led her back to the couch, before she could motion to leave. He settled on the couch and, much to his pleasure, she curled up next to him.

"I'm glad you were able to join us," Steve told her, "Bucky obviously feels very comfortable with you."

It made him happy to see how quickly Bucky had taken to Skye. Bucky was his best friend and Steve didn't know if he could get a serious about a girl Bucky didn't like and he wasn't the type to get involved with a girl if he didn't see it becoming serious.

"He's very nice." Skye said and then bit her lip. "Steve, I have to tell you something?"

"You can tell me anything." He told her, shifting slightly so he could look into her eyes.

"I wasn't entirely honest earlier." Skye confessed. "It's not just my father I'm afraid of. I'm worried about someone else as well."

"Who?" Steve asked quietly.

"Grant Ward, my old SO." Skye told him, her voice laced with fear and regret.

"The one who went HYDRA?" Steve asked him. Coulson had given them a brief rundown on Skye's past, including the fact that her SO had turned out to be HYDRA, but that was all he'd said on the subject. "Does he blame you for getting caught?"

It seemed far-fetched, but why else would Skye be afraid of him? There had to be more to the story than Coulson had told them.

"No." Skye said quietly, dismissing the idea. "He's not after me for revenge. He just wants me."

Oh. Steve hadn't been expecting that.

"He's a bit obsessed with me, actually." Skye said, making a face. "He thinks that he can make me love him if he just tries hard enough."

"But you don't?" Steve asked. "Love him, I mean?"

Skye was silent for a long moment. "Not anymore. But I did, once, before I found out who he really was. Or at least, I loved the man I thought he was."

Steve nodded, realizing he was about to hear the reason why Skye seemed so hesitant to get involved. It seemed apparent that whatever had happened with her former SO had hurt her very badly.

Skye shifted, Steve thought she was trying to move away, but instead she shifted closer and instinctively he wrapped his arm around her slim shoulders, sensing that she needed the comfort.

"At first, we barely got along," Skye began "but Coulson made him train me and then, in time, we became friends, but it was just a SO/rookie thing, he was sleeping with someone else on our team. Still, my feelings slowly started to change and it appeared that his did, as well. We started something just before all Hell broke loose and S.H.I.E.L.D collapsed."

"And then you found out he was HYDRA?" Steve guessed, but it didn't seem quite right. Would she be so shaken over a relationship that never really got off the ground?

"It wasn't that simple." Skye told him. "Ward… After HYDRA fell, he came back to the base, I know now it was to get information, but at the time I was just so happy he was alive. Almost losing him had made me realize that I loved him. To my amazement, he said he felt the same way and we… We were intimate and for a few minutes it was perfect. Then I found out he was really HYDRA. What followed was straight out of a nightmare that included him kidnapping me and my having to come to terms with the fact that the man I loved was really a monster."

The pain on Skye's beautiful face was heart-breaking and Steve wanted to track Grant Ward down and make him pay for hurting her and he had a feeling that the story was just going to get worse.

"We eventually captured him and we kept him locked up, because he had information on HYDRA, but he would only talk to me." Skye continued and Steve noticed that she curled closer to him. "I hated it. I hated having to see him, to remember what we'd shared and he wouldn't let me forget."

"I'm surprised Coulson made you deal with him." Steve said disapprovingly. He had gotten the impression that Agent Coulson really cared about Skye, so surely he must have seen how hard it was for Skye to interrogate Ward, so why had he set her up to be the victim of her ex SO's emotional games?

"Ward had valuable information that we needed." Skye said simply. "Besides, Coulson… He didn't know the fully story. He knew that there was something between Ward and I, but not that we'd acted on our feelings or how deep my feelings had actually gone. I didn't want them to doubt my loyalty or think I'd been tainted."

The fact that she even had to worry about that was another strike against S.H.I.E.L.D in Steve's mind. Skye shouldn't be punished for falling in love with a HYDRA agent, one who had tricked a lot of people for a long time, but apparently she had been worried that would happen.

"So you kept it to yourself all these months?" Steve asked quietly.

"I told Jemma, my best friend," Skye admitted, "but otherwise, yes. I didn't say anything and I kept going to Ward for information. I was relieved when Coulson made a deal with his brother to hand him over and make him pay for his crimes. However, he managed to escape."

Steve had figured it had to be something like that. Skye wouldn't be so terrified if Grant Ward was locked up in prison somewhere. Besides, he thought that Coulson had mentioned that Skye's former SO had been involved in the mess in San Juan.

"He teamed up with my father," Skye said in disgust, "while he'd been in captivity, he'd promised me to take me to his father and he set out to do just that, even though it was the last thing I wanted. He kidnapped me, it was how I ended up in San Juan."

She took a deep breath. "He didn't care what I want, he was so sure he knew what was best for me. Looking back, I could see that it had always been that way, but I put it down to the Rookie/SO dynamic. The worst part is, if he hadn't been revealed as HYDRA, I probably would have just kept letting him control me because I loved him and I believed he loved me. But that's not love."

"No, it's not." Steve told her. "Love means respecting a person, listening to them, encouraging them." He'd loved Peggy, even though they'd never had the chance to see where it would take them.

"Yeah, but when you've never been loved, it's easy to be fooled." Skye told him softly. "No one had ever loved me, ever wanted me before and I wanted it so badly. As I said, the only reason I realized how screwed up Ward's idea of love was is because he was HYDRA, otherwise… I don't know. Still, I got lucky, but I know it's not over."

"He escaped San Juan?" Steve asked quietly.

"Yes." Skye confirmed and then she smiled. "Though, he was hurting. I shot him, in the vest mostly though. I should have shot to kill, but I couldn't do it."

"I think most people would have a hard time shooting someone they'd loved." Steve assured her, holding her in his arms.

"So now you know my whole sad story." Skye confessed. "You know how terrible my taste in men is, Ward wasn't the first mistake, and that I have no concept of how to have a good relationship."

"I don't have a lot of experience either." Steve told her honestly. "Before the war, I was a scrawny kid who women wouldn't look twice at and then during the war, there were women, but those weren't relationships. Peggy and I had a great friendship and we had built a great foundation, but we never got a chance to expand on that."

"You aren't turned off by the fact that I was in love with a killer?" Skye asked shyly.

"No." Steve assured her, looking deep into her eyes. "HYDRA was good, Skye, they kept themselves hidden for a lot of years and a lot of people bought what they were selling. It's not your fault."

"He's going to come for me again." Skye said quietly. "Once he knows where I am and if he finds out I'm with someone… I can't imagine how he'll react."

"I can handle myself." Steve assured her, taking comfort in the fact that Skye considered him 'someone'. "And to get you, he'll have to go through the Avengers first. Not an easy feat. However, the others, they should probably know that there's a potential threat."

"Do I have to tell them?" Skye asked quietly. "I hate admitting how stupid I was."

"You don't have to tell anyone the details," Steve assured her, "but they should know that Ward is out there and you think he'll come after you and what he's capable of."

"A lot." Skye told him. "He was a Specialist, had the highest test scores of anyone since Natasha. He was one of the best S.H.I.E.L.D had to offer, which is why his being HYDRA was such a blow."

Which meant he was dangerous. Dangerous and obsessed, not a great combination. However, Steve was determined that he would never hurt Skye again. When Grant Ward came after her, he was in for a fight.