53

Penny and Sheldon ran out to the living to find Leonard screaming at Nora.

"You bitch! I knew she had to be with somebody else. I figured it was one of her meathead exes or maybe even Sheldon. But I never thought it would be someone like you. Did you know about this Alex?"

"What the hell are you talking about, Leonard. And get your damn finger out of Nora's face."

"Alex, I can handle this myself, thank you," Nora calmly responded.

Nora grabbed Leonard's finger and bent it back until he screamed in pain and backed off. Then Leonard glared at Penny.

"How do you fucking explain the sketchbook I found hidden in the closet. You and that bitch cavorting around naked. How long has this been going on?"

"You're a fucking idiot Leonard. A jealous fucking idiot. And that sketchbook is mine."

"Explain."

"No. We aren't together any more. I don't have to explain anything. Are you planning to go through all my stuff and challenge me on every little thing you find based on every stupid jealous conclusion you jump to?"

"Why shouldn't I jump to conclusions? You're the one who broke our engagement for no reason."

"No reason? You're fucking kidding me. No reason. I took the time to explain it to you. I have no intention of going through it again. We are over. We will not be getting back together. I will not be going to New Jersey with you. I will not be having your smart, beautiful and imaginary children. I want nothing to do with you Leonard."

"You owe me a better explanation."

"No I don't. The only explanations I ever got from you were that you love me and you'd say anything to fuck me. You never explained why you fucked your best friend's research up. You never explained why you fucked Stephanie while she was Howard's date, or what you lied to Raj about fucking Priya, or tried to fool Sheldon about his slut bunny friend or why it seems every person on that North Sea boat saw me naked. How about you try explaining some of those things. And why is it that every time you fuck someone other than me it's because they made you do it. And you seem to think that you're some grand prize and that every woman wants to fuck you and they should just open their legs for your pitiful little cock and your unsatisfying lovemaking and beg for more."

"You seemed pretty satisfied."

"I felt so crappy about my life and I was so sloshed most of the time, thanks to you I might add, that even you looked good. Well, my eyes are open now and you are just not worth my time. You're not worth any woman's time."

"Oh yeah, I'm such a catch that when she realized she couldn't have me Alex became a dyke."

"What!"

At that Alex stood up, walked over to Leonard and kneed him in the groin. As he bent over in pain, Alex laughed and said "C'mon, Leonard, it can't hurt that much. According to Penny you're barely packing."

Sheldon decided it was time to take charge.

"Raj. Howard. Please escort Leonard from this apartment and from the building. Leonard, you are not wanted here and you've shown you cannot be trusted around Penny, her home or her property. We will pack your things. You may return tomorrow when you will find your things waiting for you in the lobby. Just go. Now."

"Where the hell am I supposed to stay?" Leonard whined.

"There are any number of cheap hotels and motels that are appropriate for someone of your ilk. Your continued presence here fouls my home."

"Come along, Howard. Let's get Leonard out of here. Sheldon, we'll return shortly to help with packing and moving Leonard's things downstairs," said Raj.

After Raj and Howard walked a shell-shocked Leonard out the door, Sheldon addressed his remaining friends.

"I apologize for committing you to this odious task without first asking your permission. I felt it necessary to remove Leonard from our presence before he did any more damage."

"Sheldon, it's okay. Nora and I are glad to help."

Penny brightened. "Sheldon, I'm gonna call around and get us some more help. I'm betting Zack'll be up for giving us a hand and maybe he can bring along a couple of friends to carry stuff downstairs for some beer and pizza. I'd call Kurt but he'd probably get the wrong idea."

"I'll make arrangements for our locks to be changed first thing tomorrow. I suspect one of us will need to take a day off from work."

"Sheldon, I'm not working tomorrow," volunteered Nora. "I'd be happy to hang out here and wait for the locksmith and when he's done I can come over to the campus and drop your new keys off with you. And if Leonard tries to come back I can show him what a pissed off dyke does to a guy she doesn't like."

"Nora that would be wonderful. Thank you."

"I'm also wondering what kinds of surprises we can add to his packed stuff, maybe grated cheese in all of his pockets?" offered Penny with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

"Penny, you are evil," said Missy.

"I can be. Missy, while we start to get things organized across the hall, would you mind ordering a few pizzas and some beer. I'm paying. Packing up Leonard's crap and bringing it downstairs is probably going to take us all night."

Zack Johnson and a couple of his pals were there in less than an hour, which was helpful because Leonard's furniture was fairly heavy. Penny marveled at how quickly things went. Sheldon took command and organized how things needed to be packed. He was familiar with which things belonged to Leonard and which belonged to Penny. Penny decided that any items that she and Leonard purchased together went to Leonard. Sheldon thought they should be split but Penny said no.

"Sheldon, I don't care if I have to buy a bunch of stuff. I really don't. I'll be happier without a trace of Leonard left in here. I even want my stupid box of Leonard memories gone. I get to make a new start. I have a relatively new job, another new job starting soon. I'll have a new car. Pretty soon I'll even go out and treat myself to some new shoes."

Nora came back in after a trip downstairs with a box of Leonard's medications. There were still four more boxes of meds left.

"Hey, Penny. Why don't you figure out which of Stuart's sketches you want framed? I know a guy who'll do it for cost. I can drop them off tomorrow on my way to campus and you could probably have them back in a week. I'm thinking you might want to hang them now."

"Great idea, Nora, especially since they made a little contribution to getting Leonard out the door. I know exactly where I want that last one to go. It's my favorite."

"I'm guessing you want it where that monstrosity that Amy gave you used to be."

"You got that right, Bernadette. Putting it up there kind of gives both Leonard and Amy a well-deserved kick in the ass."

A/N: Sorry posting has slowed down a little. I did warn you that might happen.