As we talk some more, Roy's phone rings again.
I let him go and answer it as I get up, go over to a mirror and look into it, to check on my hair.
It doesn't look too bad considering I spent the night on the sofa with my head on Peter's chest.
I smile at the memory of it and go into my bedroom whilst Roy speaks on the phone.
I've truly taken in everything that he has said to me and I decided that I'm going to find Tracy Barlow today and see what she has to say for herself.
I'm still not sure what I'm going to say to her though…
I still don't know how I'm even going to face her but Roy is right.
If Hayley managed to stick up for herself in her dying days, then I can sure as hell do the same.
The old me wouldn't have hesitated to go and give her a right piece of my mind and that's what I have to do...
Become the old me again.
I get changed into a pair of black jeans and a black top and I just can't help but chuck Peter's shirt back on with it.
I leave it open though and spritz myself with some perfume before going into the bathroom and brushing my teeth.
I do this all very quickly because I want to get out whilst I still have the nerve to, I'm slightly worried that if I wait for too long that I'll decide against it and I just have to get myself some answers.
I come out of the bathroom to see Roy still on the phone, he looks at me as it's clear I'm going some where.
"Are you going out?" he says, covering the receiver so that who ever he is talking to cannot hear what he has just said.
"Yes." I nod and I go over and give him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Don't worry I'll be on me best behaviour." I say before waving goodbye and leaving his flat.
I go outside to find Peter sat on the kerb with a cigarette hanging out of one corner of his mouth.
He looks up at me and gives me half of that gorgeous smile of his as I sit down next to him.
"You feeling a little calmer now?" I ask and he nods at me as he pulls the fag out of his mouth.
"Yeah sorry about that…" he says, blowing smoke out of his parted lips, "I know I got a little... over the top just then, I just can't stand the thought of the people round here thinking that you are capable for that fire."
"I know…" I say with a nod. "N I know that you probably think that I'm crazy and that I'd want the whole world to know what really happened but this whole thing… this is harder than I thought it would be."
I had thought up so many scenarios in my head where I found out that I wasn't responsible for the fire and each time that I found out, I honestly thought it would be different to this.
I thought I would feel so much lighter and that everyone would be surrounding me with huge apologies and be begging me for forgiveness.
I thought that was what I wanted but now I think about it... I really don't want anything from anyone.
I don't want people's apologies and their regretful looks.
I just want to move on with my life.
"I'm fed up of people talking about me..." I say, "I'm fed up of the gossiping and the Poor Carla's… I just want to be normal." I say as Peter flicks cigarette ash onto the ground. He then turns to look at me and pulls a rather disapproving face. "What you don't think I can do normal?" I ask, slightly offended at his current expression.
"No it's not that…" Peter says with a chuckle as I playfully shove him.
"What is it then?" I ask, staring at him and waiting for an acceptable answer.
"Well it's just you… Carla you're probably the furthest thing from normal."
What?
I'm actually gonna hit this guy in a second… I mean where on earth is he going with this?
I'm trying to get on with my life and here he is telling me that I'm not normal… What is that about?
He obviously sees my face because then he chuckles again and says,
"What I mean is that I would never use the word normal to describe you, normal is average, normal is… ordinary and you my dear… are not ordinary." I give him a few more seconds to continue because the way that he is looking at me is quite sweet.
More than quite sweet actually… it's making me melt.
"You're incredible Carla… you're beautiful inside and out and it almost kills me when I hear people bad mouthing you… but if you really want to keep it quiet then I will… I will because I'd do anything for you."
I try my hardest not to smile foolishly at what Peter just said and just link my arm into his.
We sit in silence as he finishes his cigarette, as he flicks the butt onto the ground and turns to look at me, I say,
"You know... you're not bad your self y'know."
"Oh I know…" Peter grins, his head close to mine, I don't even realise how close until our lips touch and I feel his fingers gently stroke my cheek as we kiss.
I don't know what it quite is about us but we seriously cannot seem to stop kissing.
Last night we spent what felt like hours kissing and here we are doing it again.
It's as if we are both attached to magnets, which only attract each other.
It doesn't occur to me or Peter for that matter, that we are sat in the middle of Victoria Street until we hear a very loud and very Michelle-like,
"Morning!"
Peter and me both giggle like two school kids who have been caught behind the bike sheds.
I pull away from him and open my eyes to see Michelle stood across the street with her arms folded, eyebrows raised and with a huge grin on her face.
"Hi Chelle." I say shaking my head because even though she is my best mate, I am still embarrassed. Peter nods at her in the same way and chuckles as she makes her way over to us and says,
"Oh don't let me interrupt."
"You're not…" I say although she is. She looks at me and then at Peter, obviously feeling pretty smug about the fact that it's partly down to her that he is here.
"Spend the night again did ya Peter?" She says, still grinning from ear to ear.
"Not intentionally." Peter replies, watching me now wondering if I'm going to tell Michelle about what I found out last night.
I will tell her... I plan on telling her... just not now.
If I tell her now she'll kick off big time, probably more than Peter has done. She'll do her best mate/sister in law duties and march right round to Tracy's and I need to speak to her first.
I need to explain the reasons why I do not want the entire world knowing what Tracy did yet and it's been hard enough trying to do that with Peter.
"Nice shirt…" Michelle then says, smirking and clearly remembering what I told her about Peter's stolen T-Shirt.
"What you up to later?" I ask her, planning to tell her all about last night in great detail later.
"Not much… why?"
"I might pop over… I ave something I need to tell ya." I say and Michelle then grins again. She looks between Peter and me and obviously thinks that what I want to speak to her about is going to be about him and me.
"Oh yeah…" She says excitedly.
"Trust me Chelle… it's not what you think." I say because she literally has no idea and I feel as if I need to prepare her for it.
"Okay… if you say so." Michelle nods, although she doesn't look too convinced. "I'll let you two get back to… y'know." She says waving her hand in front of our faces before walking off.
"She honestly has no idea…" I say as she walks in the direction of The Rover's, sure that she has stumbled on Peter and me being back together. "No one does… they are going to be so… shocked."
"They are and they'll probably be angry… confused too when they find out…" Peter begins, I bite my lip imagining the fall out when this goes public as Peter continues to watch me. "Carla… No matter how we do this… Whether they find out today or tomorrow… I want you to remember that none of this is your fault. I also want you to know that I'm ere for you… no matter what... I'll be by your side throughout all of this."
I nod gratefully and kiss Peter again.
I told you I just can't help it.
He can't help himself either and as he deliciously kisses me back, there's a sudden wolf whistle and we're interrupted again.
It's so flaming annoying but I guess its what we guess for kissing in public like this.
"Ignore em…" Peter says, holding my head close to his. I almost listen to him but then we both hear…
"Hi Dad! Hi Carla!"
We pull away from each other to see a grinning Simon and a not so grinning Leanne standing opposite us. They are obviously off out somewhere and have come across Peter and me.
"Hi son." Peter calls across the road. Simon nods at us almost approvingly it seems, as Leanne takes him by the shoulders and directs him to continue walking. She scowls as they walk away which makes me sigh a little and brings me back down to earth.
I guess wouldn't mind Leanne finding out the fire wasn't me right now… I can put up with a lot of crap but her thinking that I'm responsible for her losing another man is something I just cannot do anymore.
The Nazir's and Sophie need to know too as well I guess, although they would definitely hear about it if I told Leanne, that woman has trouble keeping her mouth shut at the best of times and if she were to hear that it was Tracy who practically killed her fiancé, then there is no way that she would keep it quiet.
"What are you thinking about?" Peter asks, as it's probably obvious that I'm lost in a daydream.
"I'm thinking that it's about time that I find that delightful sister of yours." I say.
"Really?" Peter asks, surprised.
"Yes… No matter what happens with everyone else round ere, I ave to let her know that she hasn't got away with this. Are ya coming?" I ask because if I'm honest I don't want to go on me own… I need him there for moral support… and to hold me back in case I get a little too violent.
"What… you're going now?" Peter says, looking disappointed.
"Well there is no time like the present eh?" I say but I can tell that Peter is still slightly hesitant about what is going to happen next. "What?"
"Nothing…" He says and then he smirks, "I were just enjoying our little moment just then." He licks his lips and smiles this totally irresistible smile, one that it looks as if he is sure it's going to get me to kiss him again.
Normally I would… god knows I really want to stay cooped up on the kerb outside Roy's with him, kissing him and being in his arms… pretending like nothing has happened but I can't...
I have to get my life sorted, I have to start as I mean to go on and let Tracy Barlow know that what she has done hasn't beaten me.
I stand up and then drag Peter up too. He tries his hardest not to get up but he has obviously underestimated how physically strong I am.
"Blimey…" He says, almost staggering to his feet as I yank him upright. "You almost pulled me arm right out of its socket." He says… rather over dramatically I might add. "What d'ya do? over do it at the gym whilst I was gone or something?"
"Ohhh no… just stocked up on a whole load of spinach like Popeye?" I say, flexing my muscles in a showy fashion.
"Actually it's actually common misconception that spinach makes the body stronger." Peter says,
"Eh?" I reply because this is the first that I've heard.
"Seriously… the author of Popeye made a mistake and wrote the amount of iron that is in spinach down wrong… hence the fact that we all think that it makes us stronger." Peter says smugly, like a right geek.
"Wow…" I say dryly, He grins at me and gives me a playful poke as I laugh at him. "Honestly… you're turning into your Dad with these historic little anecdotes."
"Well where did ya think I got it from?" Peter said as we cross the road, "Anyways with muscles like that make sure you don't hit me sister too hard eh?"
"I'm not gonna hit her Peter." I say shaking my head as we get to the other side of the road.
"Really?" he asks, slightly shocked at what I have just said,
"But that's only cause I promised Roy that I'd be on me best behaviour." I grin although I'm not one hundred per cent sure that I'm going to be able to keep my cool, but I can at least try right?
I don't actually now what's going to happen if Ken's there. I really don't want to upset him… or Amy for that matter.
God I hope they aren't in.
At first I felt brave about this and ready for what was coming and now? Well now I'm feeling nervous.
I'm not sure I want to talk to Tracy after all.
Not because I'm scared of her or because I don't want her to know that I know what she did… but because I'm not sure I want to go through all the details of the fire again.
It's all still so raw and as we get closer to Number one, Peter senses that something is wrong and takes hold of my hand.
I look down at it and then squeeze it tight, thankful to have his fingers entwined with mine.
"Take your time… I mean you don't have to do this today." Peter says.
He is being so supportive right now and I honestly don't know what I would have done without him these past few days.
"Yes I do." I say with a nod. Peter nods back at me and then knocks on the door to his Dad's house.
I take a deep breath as the door answers, it's Ken and when he sees me his face says it all.
He somehow looks surprised to see me and shocked all at the same time.
"Carla…" He says but he doesn't finish. It's like he just doesn't know what to say to me.
"Hi Ken…" I say as casually as I can given the situation.
"Is Tracy home?" Peter asks as his Dad lets us in.
"No she's popped to the shop." Ken says but I'm not entirely sure if I believe him.
"How convenient." Peter says as we walk down the hallway, I wonder if she's hiding upstairs maybe, as we pass Amy's bedroom, which is downstairs.
"It doesn't matter… we'll wait." I say loudly, just in case Tracy is here so that she can hear it, deciding that since we are here that I need to get this done.
I need to talk to Tracy for my sake as well as Hayley's sake.
"Look Carla I realise that there are many… many things that you wish to say to Tracy…" Ken begins but Peter shakes his head at his Dad and says,
"Dad don't you dare try n talk her out of this…"
"I wasn't." Ken says, "I was just saying that I understand why Carla is here."
"Good." Peter nods. I give him a nudge and a look that says shut up as he sits down at the table.
"Where's Amy?" I ask, gazing around at the quiet house that we are in, it's clear that Ken really is alone as their are no noises other than the sounds of our voices.
"I sent her over to her Dad's… I though it would be for the best." Ken says fiddling about with pen and obviously still finding it hard to know what to say.
I don't blame him really… how do you react when you find out that your child is capable of murder.
"Please sit down." Ken eventually says, pointing at the chair next to Peter.
There was a long an awkward silence for a moment, one where Ken pretended to look at the Sunday paper and where Peter just looks at me.
I'm staring down at my hands but I can always tell when Peter is watching me.
It's like I can feel his gaze staring right into me as he sits only a few inches away.
"What time did Tracy leave?" he says after a few more minutes, Ken shrugs and looks down at his watch,
"I'm not sure… but it wasn't long ago." He says.
"You sure that she went to the shop Dad?" Peter asks suspiciously.
"Yes." Ken says, not even bothering to entertain his son's obviously sceptical view on the situation.
When I look at Ken properly, I see that he looks shattered, he genuinely looks as if he hasn't slept a wink and all if does is remind me that this situation is not just about me and Tracy.
It's about everyone… the entire street in fact.
The fire has affected everyone around here in one way or another and when the news gets out about Tracy, people are going to go ballistic.
I mean look how they treated me, I can't imagine what it's going to be like when they found out Tracy is to blame.
I can't imagine what life is going to like for Ken and Amy.
"Put the kettle on Peter." I say in an effort to stop an argument from starting as Peter tuts at his father. "Go on… I'm gasping ere." Peter raises an eyebrow at my bossiness but gets up and goes to the kitchen anyway.
He said earlier that he'd do anything for me and even though I've only asked him to make a brew… I'm starting to believe that he probably would.
I still have no idea where me and him are right now, I still have so much that I need to say to him but all I know is that as long as he is here…
I can do anything and I can face anything.