When Jules woke up, she sat still on the couch for nearly an hour. Those memories were more than just a dream to her. They were like puzzle pieces falling into place. She understood more about how she felt. About how Matthew felt. It wasn't all some grand illusion. It was love. It all made sense. She was in love with him.
But she still didn't know what to do about the whole thing. Without the rest of her memories, she didn't know what to do about that love. It was strange. And it kind of hurt.
The front door opened. Westley walked in carrying a large brown paper bag. "Oh good, you're finally up."
Feli walked in right behind him. "Good morning, Jules!" he said in a cheery voice. "We just came back from grocery shopping!"
"Hmm," Jules groaned as she wiped the sleep from her face.
"I hope you don't mind. I invited Feli to dinner," Westley said.
Jules shook her head. "Why should I mind? I'm the one intruding. Oh, sorry for interrupting your night yesterday. You know, I don't really mind if you want to move back in, Feli."
"Oh, that's okay. Westley and I can get kind of loud, so I think that would be awkward for all of us," Feli said.
There was a moment of silence before Jules broke out into rambunctious laughter.
Westley followed with a sigh. "TMI, Feli."
"I did not know that," Jules said between breaths as she shook her head.
"And there really was no reason for you to know. You slept for an awfully long time today," Westley commented while changing the subject.
"Really?" Jules' voice strained as she stretched. "What time is it?"
"4 o'clock," her brother answered.
"Oh, wow. I was having these... dreams. I'm pretty sure they were memories," she said, still a little unsure herself.
"Hey, that's great!" Westley came out of the kitchen and sat next to Jules, leaving the rest of the grocery unpacking to Feli. "What were they about?"
"Well, there were two. The first one was the night that you came out to me."
Jules carefully accessed his reaction. It was pretty indifferent, considering, as he nodded. "Makes sense."
"The second... I'm pretty sure it was when Matthew first told me he loved me."
Westley thought about it logically. "Maybe, you triggered something yesterday that brought the memories back."
"Maybe..." Jules allowed. The thing was, a lot of things had happened the other day that Jules wasn't exactly comfortable with.
"Think I should tell Matthew?" she asked.
"I would, but that's entirely up to you. It really depends on if you even want to know what happened between you two or if you want to move on entirely," he assessed.
Jules was shocked. This was the first choice she really had about the situation. Could she really just let everything be forgotten and move on? Even now that she remembered she really had been in love with him?
"I don't know what to do..." Jules said under her breath.
"Well..." Westley stretched out. "If you ask me, I think Matthew deserves another chance."
Jules gave her brother a look.
"I'm serious. He knows more about your relationship than any of us do. Cut him some slack, and maybe he'll surprise you. He's been stressed out this whole time trying to make you happy," Westley continued.
"Oh, especially since..." Feli started.
"Not now, Feli," Westley cut him off abruptly.
"Especially since what?" Jules asked suspiciously.
"I..." Westley hesitated. "It's really not something I should tell you. The person you should really ask is Matthew."
The next thing Jules knew, she was in a taxi. Matthew had turned off his phone, so she couldn't exactly tell him about her spur of the moment decision. She had her excuses all planned out. She wanted to give Westley and Feli a night to themselves, but that wasn't the only thing. It seemed everything, the mystery of her memories and their relationship, all pointed to him. She needed to be with him if only for a night.
As the taxi pulled up to the house, Jules could hear her dogs barking, fenced up in the backyard. The lights were on in the house. Good, Jules thought, that would mean he was home.
She paid the driver and got out of the yellow cab. The door to the house opened, sending another beam of light to the sunset landscape.
"Hey, Matthew," she sighed and squinted into the light. "Is it okay if I crash here for the night?"
He didn't say anything at first. He briskly walked toward her and wrapped her up in his arms. After a shaky inhale, he whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Jules smiled to herself, returning the embrace. "It's okay. I'm sorry, too."
"No. No. I... I didn't... I'm so sorry, Jules. I broke my promise. I said I was going to tell you I love you everyday. That's twice now."
"Twice?" Jules questioned.
"Last night and the day you had your accident. Those were the only times I didn't say 'I love you.' I was afraid I was never going to see you again."
Jules rubbed his back. "It wasn't that bad of a fight. Besides, I could still tell that you loved me."
He stepped back a bit. His eyes went wide as he realized something. "Is this okay?" he asked hastily. "I mean, I didn't ask, but hugging is okay, right?"
"Hugging is fine. Last night... I kind of threw you under a bus. It wasn't your fault. You weren't exactly wrong. My body just has a better memory than my mind," Jules said nervously.
Matthew finally smiled at that. "Makes sense. I'll try not to exploit that in the future."
Jules cleared her throat. "I, um, I actually remembered a couple of things last night. About us."
"That's...good I guess. We could go inside and talk about it if you want," Matthew offered.
For the second time that she could remember, Jules stepped into her house. Almost as soon as she crossed the threshold, her stomache growled.
"Shoot, I forgot to eat when Feli was over," she said.
"You're hungry? We could order something," Matthew suggested.
"Nah, don't worry about it. I'll just eat leftovers." Jules peeked into the fridge and found some nice sandwich supplies. She would have been content except there was a very enticing plate of something in the refrigerator all wrapped up in foil. She brought it out along with the rest.
"Hey, Matthew, what's in this?" She showed him the plate.
He panicked slightly. "Ah, it's uh, cake. I don't think you want to eat that..."
Jules scoffed. "You really don't know me that well if you think I'm going to pass up cake. What kind of cake is it?" She peeled up one of the corners of the foil. Once she started, she couldn't stop. What was under there was the most beautiful cake she had ever seen. It was small, circular, covered in smooth white icing, and decorated with intricate designs of flowers. It was perfect, save for a little indent on the top.
"It's... a wedding cake," he reluctantly described.
"I can see that. It's gorgeous. What in the world are you doing with wedding cake?" Jules asked.
"I've been saving it for today. I was hoping to eat it with you when... Never mind, could you please just put it back?"
Something clicked in Jules' mind then. What Feli had been trying to say. Why Matthew had acted mopey and the reason there was a bunch of empty beer bottles in his trash. Why yesterday seemed like a rushed, last ditch effort to make her remember and fall in love.
"Is today our anniversary?" she asked excitedly.
"Yes," he groaned. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to feel obligated or anything..."
"Woohoo! High five to us. We made it through a year." Jules held her hand out to her husband.
He sighed, but slapped her hand anyway. "Barely. You can't even remember the wedding."
"Eh, that's not what matters. I'm still planning to eat the cake, so you better hurry if you want to eat your half. If it makes you feel better, you can tell me all about our wedding. I'm a little curious," Jules said as she sat down at the table.
He perked up at that. "Really? You want to hear about our wedding?"
"Sure. I can't think of a better time to talk about it," Jules said.
"Hold on a moment. I'll go get the album," he said right before he took off down the hallway.
He came back just as Jules finished making up her sandwich. He set it down on the table and pulled up a chair next to her. "Ready?"
Jules nodded and looked over appreciatively at the photo album. It was clichéd white with "Our Wedding" written in fancy script on the front.
The opening page was a picture of them standing up at the altar, looking into each other's eyes.
"You look pretty handsome," Jules commented nonchalantly.
Matthew laughed, genuinely this time. "I'm glad you think that."
The album went through chronologically, starting with pre-wedding pictures. Jules recognized the bridesmaids as her childhood friends. They helped her into her wedding dress and drank heartily from flutes of mimosa. Next were the pictures of Matthew and his groomsmen. He explained who everyone was, relatives, friends, and old roommates. The pictures that made Jules stop Matthew from turning the page were the ones of her going up the aisle.
"Wow..." she said.
"My sentiments exactly."
Everything seemed surreal to her in a way that could only be described as perfect. The look of emotion on Westley's face as he walked Jules down the aisle. Jules could hardly recognize her own smile, followed by the picture of her sticking her tongue out at the groom.
Matthew had looked absolutely awestruck as he watched his bride. It was more than happiness, it was more than pride. It was the exact look that Jules had always wanted from the person who would be her lifelong partner.
"Matthew, I want to tell you something," Jules said.
Matthew paused for a moment before he responded, still looking at the photographs. "Does it have to do with what you remembered?
Jules nodded. "The first thing that I remembered, what I dreamed about was from when you were at my apartment and West came over. You were so unbelievably kind and understanding to the both of us. I can never thank you enough for that. The second was the first time we told each other that we were in love. And..."
"And?"
Jules fiddled with her fingers. "There was one last thing I remembered. Matthew, I... I really was in love with you. I can't remember how it happened. God, I wish I did. I don't understand it. You deserve so much better than me. You don't deserve to have a wife that can't remember anything about you or our anniversary. But I don't know what to do with all this love that I have..."
"Stay!" Matthew interrupted. "I-if you don't know what to do, then stay. With me. I-I might be selfish in saying this. Our memories are irreplaceable, yes, but I'd happily forget the past as long as that meant I still had a future with you."
Jules could feel herself start to cry. She fought through it and reached for her husband's hand.
It wasn't much and not nearly as passionate as the other day, but it was enough to transfer feelings that were too hard to explain.
"There is something that I'd like to know," Jules started up again. "What happened on our first three dates? You said there were special circumstances."
Matthew was hesitant. "It was mostly just embarrassing. I kept screwing up, so we went on the same date and watched the same movie three times."
"Wow, and I agreed? That must have been one spectacular movie," she said.
"Well, it is your favorite. We actually have it if you want to watch it," he revealed.
The chair scraped across the floor as Jules got up. "Sweet, let's do it. We can eat the cake while we watch."
"The thing is, the only working DVD player we have is in the bedroom..." Matthew brought up.
"No need to be shy now, Matthew. We have been married for a year."
Jules carried the cake in and sat down the the dark blue bed covers. She patiently waited as Matthew followed her in and set up the TV. He sat down next to her and produced two forks.
"Ah," Jules said. "You really do complete me." She took one of the forks and dug out a chunk of cake. She only looked up at the screen when she heard the music. It was this really girly, poppy kind of music that she actually really hated.
"What is this?" she asked in disdain.
"Loved Only Once," Matthew read the title as he pressed play.
"Is this a romcom?" Jules was shocked more than anything. Anything close to that genre was her least favorite kind of movie.
"Yes, I know you hate them, but trust me. You love this one." Matthew got comfortable and shared in on the dwindling cake.
Jules shrugged. "At least the cake is good."
She tried to keep an open mind, but honestly she couldn't stand any part of he movie. It was clichéd, the characters were bland, the jokes didn't stick, and honestly, the actors didn't connect at all. The acting was just all around horrendous, and it went on forever. The further she got into the movie, the more she began to think that the movie was one of those classics that were just so bad, they were good. But no. There was no irony in this. It was just horrible.
She stuck it out until the end to see if there was any glimmer of redeemable qualities, but nope. It didn't even end well.
"Well, did you love it?" Matthew asked. He sounded so confident as if there could be no other answer.
Jules had to laugh then. "You have got to be kidding me! That was absolutely the worst movie I've ever seen! How...how could that crap possibly be my favorite movie?"
Matthew's face fell. "What?"
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Jules still couldn't stop laughing. "But that was..."
"But you said you loved the movie. You said so right after we watched it the first time..."
"I lied. I must have been lying big time. There is no way under any circumstance that I would enjoy that movie," Jules broke it to him.
He flopped down on the bed, clearly in shock. "I can't believe it. All this time, you'd been lying."
Jules calmed her laughter. "I must have had a good reason."
"No. No, you didn't. You must have known..."
"Known what?"
"How much I despise that movie." Matthew started chuckling. "Oh man, that movie choice had to have been one of the worst mistakes of my life. Do you know how many times I had to watch that movie with you and pretend to enjoy it? Too many. I only put up with it because of how badly I just wanted to be with you."
It clicked in Jules' mind then. There was a way that Jules could see that load of garbage becoming her favorite movie. It was proof of how much a guy like Matthew actually liked her.
Matthew started really laughing then. "You had me quoting lines and starting meaningful conversations about how that movie had the most ideal relationship."
Jules grinned from ear to ear. "I had you eating from the palm of my hand."
"Oh you're horrible," he laughed. "I can see now. You must have been completely sarcastic that first date."
"Poor guy." Jules laid down on the bed next to him. "I must not have been completely horrible. You did marry me."
"Yeah." Matthew turned to look into Jules' eyes. "Even back then, I had completely fallen for you."
Jules could feel her heart beat faster. "Will you kiss me?" she asked softly.
"Hmm? You want me to kiss you?" He leaned closer but didn't let their lips touch.
"Yeah, but, um, maybe keep it PG this time?" Her voice was getting high pitched and breathy.
"How about Canadian PG," Matthew whispered right before he kissed her.
He didn't rush this time. He took his time to kiss her slowly. Matthew caressed her face and massaged his fingertips into her hair.
As their tongues met, he grabbed her hips and pulled them closer to his, but that was as far as he went. They kissed until she needed to breath, and that was that.
Matthew kept his eyes closed even after they parted. "Can we stay like this for a moment? I've missed this."
She nodded. He couldn't see but she was sure he would feel it. After a minute of lying next to him, she turned over and looked at the night stand. Sitting on the shelf under a drawer was a little black book.
"What's this?" Jules asked out loud as she reached for it.
Matthew peeked at it with one eye before he closed it again. "Your diary. Under no circumstance am I allowed to read it, at least that's what you said."
Jules opened it to the first page. It was dated exactly one year ago, just a short passage.
"Well today was perfect. I'm finally married. This is the first entry I'm writing as Mrs. Williams, and I couldn't be more excited. I can't wait to write about my life as the wife of the most awesome man in the universe. I would be jumping off the walls right now if I wasn't so exhausted. First night of the honeymoon is no joke. It was amazing of course. Sex with you is always amazing, but I had to wait until you fell asleep. This is the first time I've written an entry to a specific person. I was hoping that I could start on our anniversary present early. What could be better than having an entire book illustrating how much I love our life together from our first year of marriage! I wanted this to be a way to share with you the things I can't possibly say to your face. Like how much I love you. Or what I'm really feeling. Or that even when we have a fight, I don't regret any moment we've had together. So, here's to this year and many more! I love you, Matthew."
Jules flipped through the pages. Sure enough, there was an entry for every day. Some days were significantly longer than others, but they all ended with the same line. "I love you, Matthew."
Of course the entries stopped before the diary could get through a full calendar year. Jules felt a little guilty, though she really had no control. If she had known she had a diary like this, she would have kept it up.
She turned toward Matthew as he laid beside her. He was already asleep. His breaths were soft against her back.
Jules smiled and flipped to the last page. She found a pen in the drawer and wrote. "Well, today is our anniversary. I still can't remember most of the things that happened between us, but I'm still happy to have you. I still think I'm married to the most awesome man in the universe. Thanks for letting me fall in love with you again."
Matthew's hold on her had lessened as he fell asleep. Jules was able to wriggle away and grab the plate that had previously holding cake. She took it out to the kitchen and placed it in the sink while turning off all the lights in the house.
She came back to the bedroom and laid down next to him again. It felt nice to lay down next to someone else for once. Especially when it was on a bed and not a couch.
"I love you, Matthew," she whispered, careful not to disturb him.
His arms wrapped around her so suddenly Jules was sure he had woken up. "Love ya, Jules," he mumbled into her shoulder.
She tried her best to laugh as still and silent as possible. When she was sure that Matthew was indeed asleep, she settled into his chest and breathed in the scent of him. Before long, she was fast asleep as well.