64
When Leonard saw what passed for food in the Pasadena jail and realized that his dietary restrictions meant he would be able to eat next to nothing he decided to apologize to the judge. When he was released he made a phone call.
"Hello Mother."
"Hello Leonard. I understand things are not exactly as you've described them."
"Who told you that? Sheldon?"
"I've spoken with Sheldon and Penny and also a very forthcoming judge and Penny and Missy's attorney."
"So?"
"Leonard you are wasting your time waiting for Penny to reconcile with you. She has no intention of ever doing that."
"I just need to convince her the right way."
"Leonard, listen to me. I've spoken with the young lady. She currently regrets ever knowing you."
"That'll change."
"No. It won't. Do you understand what you look like at this moment?"
"I look like a man who won't give up on the love of his life."
"No, Leonard. You look like a delusional soul who can't face reality and is making life miserable for someone he is obsessed with."
"I disagree."
"Leonard, who exactly is the psychiatrist here?"
"I don't care, Mother. I'm staying for Penny and that's it."
"Then I suspect you should be prepared to spend more time behind bars because Penny is taking legal action to stop you from coming anywhere near her or her friends."
"I'm pretty sure I can get around that. Penny would never do anything to hurt me."
"Leonard, I'll be quite honest, if Penny were put in a position where she had to do you physical harm to protect herself from your advances, I believe she would be able and justified."
"Thank you for your support, Mother."
"If you aren't here by next week to begin work that opportunity will evaporate. There will not be another."
"I can find my own job, Mother."
"Leonard, I've attempted to get you to be reasonable. What happens next is your own responsibility. Goodbye."
As Leonard was putting his phone in his pocket a black Escalade rolled up.
"Get in, Dr. Hofstadter."
"Where are you taking me?"
"You'll find out soon."
"This is kidnapping."
"No, actually it's not."
"What is it then? You forced me into this car…"
"We invited you. You didn't have to get in."
"I didn't get the impression I had an option."
"Oh, you had an option, Dr. Hofstadter. It wasn't a pleasant option, but it was still an option."
After a while the car pulled up to Union Station in Los Angeles.
"Dr. Hofstadter, your train leaves in ten minutes. That rather large gentleman over there will be your traveling companion all the way to New Jersey. We suggest you not try to get away from him. He has orders to do whatever is necessary."
"You said I had an option."
"You do, Dr. Hofstadter. You have the option to either get on the train under your own power or be put on the train. But, rest assured, you will be on that train when it leaves. Additionally, you will sign these documents. Every one of them. Right now."
"This one says that I'm dropping all charges against Missy Cooper. I refuse."
"Dr. Hofstadter, please understand something. We are not making a request. You will sign the document. You will leave the area. You will not return. We can make your coming hunt for employment difficult or impossible. We are fairly sure you'd prefer just difficult."
"So Sheldon Cooper is pulling your strings, isn't he?"
"We admit that Dr. Cooper has been very helpful to us. However, though he did ask us to do something about you, this particular favor is not for him."
"Who then?"
"You'll find her on the other end of your journey."
"My mother! My mother told you to do this?"
"Your mother has advised us on many projects for a number of years. She even suggested that we might have to get a doctor and drug you to get you on the train. That is still an option."
"Fine, but the world will hear about this."
"Dr. Hofstadter, worse things have been said about us. And we have never taken top secret rocket fuel in order to fuck a North Korean spy."
"You can't prove that."
"Don't need to. Once the story gets around, and it's already started to get around, you'll be lucky to be teaching anywhere. At all."
"So I'm just supposed to disappear."
"That's what everyone here would prefer."
"Even my fiancé."
"Especially your EX-fiancé. The poor girl deserves a chance at her own success without an anchor like you dragging her down. Now get on the damn train."
"No."
Leonard started to walk away. The very large gentleman moved very quickly for a very large gentleman. He grabbed Leonard's upper arm and held it tight.
"Ouch! That hurts. Let me go."
"You're going in the wrong direction, Dr. Hofstadter. The train is the other way."
"I'm not getting on the train. Haven't you ever been in love?"
"That poor girl doesn't belong to you, Dr. Hofstadter. And you are never going to bother her again."
"You don't have the right."
The very large gentleman signaled to his compatriots who, in turn, signaled to a woman standing nearby.
Leonard's eyes lit up. His eyebrows cocked. He recognized the woman approaching.
"Stephanie. You'll help me get away from these assholes. Won't you?"
"Sorry, Leonard. I don't work for you. I don't even like you very much. So when Sheldon asked if I could help the FBI get you out of town I jumped at the opportunity."
The very large gentleman held Leonard as Dr. Stephanie Barnett prepared an injection and quickly stuck it in Leonard's arm.
"You broke up with me via text message. I'm dumping your ass for Sheldon with a hypo filled with the strongest sedative I could get my hands on. Sweet dreams, Leonard."
Leonard Hofstadter woke up two days later in a New Jersey hospital wearing restraints.
"So, Leonard, how are you doing today?" asked Beverly Hofstadter.
"Get me out of here. You have no right to keep me here, Mother."
"Actually, Leonard, among the documents you signed was your Power of Attorney, which I now hold. You will stay in this institution until you resolve the issues that got you to harass Penny and abuse your former friends. I suspect it will take some time. Possibly years."
Next: Penny is curious. Sheldon tries to explain
A/N: Back just as soon as I can.