A/N: So, though it has been quite some time since I've last put up a chapter for this, but anyway, here goes.

And so, today we will be telling you about the Hermes/Mercury PJOmetronic. As with all chapters, please read all of this before opening your package.

Your Hermes PJOmetronic will contain:

1. One Hermes, God of Messengers, Travelers, Thieves, and Commerce

2. One Olympian Throne

3. One Caduceus

Now, the first thing that you should know is that your Hermes PJOmetronic is one of the few that will be active even before you open the box. This also means that he might burst it open if you don't open it quickly enough, so on that note, prepare things from beforehand and make sure to open it quickly enough.

Once your Hermes PJOmetronic exits the box, he will offer you a box. MAKE SURE TO ACCEPT IT. If you don't, you will instantly be petrified and there's very little that our customer support will be able to do for you, after all, since you are petrified you can't call us. Now, what's in the box is what your Hermes PJOmetronic has been making for you on his journey. The following, along with the odds, are possible:

Nothing: 45%
Pocket Lint: 40%
Air: 35%

When we say nothing, we mean that the box simply contains vacuum inside, but it really isn't all that different from air. As for the pocket lint, well, you can just throw it away. Your Hermes PJOmetronic won't mind. All he cares about is that you take the box and open it. And oh yeah, if you've notice the percentages add up to 120%, and we think it is because the head of our researcher department failed fourth grade math, but whatever.

Next, there's the whole deal with the Olympian Throne which you should have gotten used to by now.

What you need to understand however is that a god PJOmetronic, like any god, needs to represent what he or she stands for. That's why you have to make Poseidon a tank and make sure that Demeter can get some gardening done.

The exact same thing with your Hermes PJOmetronic. You see, once his throne has been set up, your Hermes PJOmetronic will want to take control of everything in your house that is related to communication in any way. If he can't do is job, he'll probably implode. Also, not only can he access the Internet, he IS part of the Internet, not to mention that he can hack into any communication device in existence. No, sending your messages by snail mail will not work, he'll still know.

Obviously what this means for you is that your privacy in sending messages pretty much goes down the toilet. Do note that your Hermes PJOmetronic will begin this almost immediately, so if you have something embarrassing anywhere in some form of electronic storage, be sure to delete it, otherwise we're really not responsible if your potty training video ends up getting a billion hits on Youtube. If you've already opened the box and are reading this later on like an idiot, then such a thing probably has already happened. We did tell you to read this thing first.

Of course, you can tell your Hermes PJOmetronic not to openly disclose some pieces of information. It's really not something your Hermes PJOmetronic can turn off, he can track any package or envelope, whether digital or physical just by looking at it. You'll just have to live with the knowledge that he knows everything that you've ever sent in your life. Good luck with that.

Now, your Hermes PJOmetronic will often want to go and visit the Hermes Cabin if you have one. Please refrain from pointing out that the Hermes Cabin is basically the Hufflepuff of Camp Half-Blood while he does so.

Another thing to keep in mind is that your Hermes PJOmetronic will be a serious workaholic. Like seriously, he will spend pretty much all of his time on deliveries and messages and such. So if you happen to live in a pretty secluded area and don't get messages all that often, he'll probably get jittery. To prevent this, you should probably go and get him some economics journals and the such so he can work on them.

On a side note, your Hermes PJOmetronic is the god of thieves. One thing in particular is his tendency to steal people's socks. If you've ever finished your laundry and noticed that a pair or one sock is missing, chances are that a Hermes PJOmetronic was responsible. Nobody really knows why he steals socks of all things, but he is known to occasionally mumble about how it is "good for the economy" or something along those lines.

Also, your Hermes PJOmetronic can tell the future to some extent as well, though once again, you are not allowed to ask for the answers to tomorrow's maths test. Previously, we had thought to allow the Hermes PJOmetronic to give you free telephone and Internet access, but we later decided against it. Our decision was in no way affected by the huge lumps of money that Verizon and Optimum as well as some other companies paid us. Of course, your Hermes PJOmetronic will be able to use the Internet at will for himself, but he probably won't extend the offer to you unless it is an emergency.

Please note that you can't get your Hermes PJOmetronic to disclose other people's messages. "Messenger's Creed," he'll say and refuse. Of course, if for some reason you need to go and steal something, or get something stolen back, he might be helpful. He'll also like interacting with whoever delivers your mail, like the mailman or the UPS guy. Your Hermes PJOmetronic will also offer to deliver your messages on occasion by himself if you really want to make an impression on someone, for the right price of course.

If you and your Hermes PJOmetronic finally start to get along, you can look forward to spending time together discussing things along with George and Martha and maybe planning to open some new businesses.

Troubleshooting:

I didn't accept that box at the very end: Once again, that part was bolded, italicized, underlined, and ALL IN CAPS. How could you have missed that? Okay, if that happened then your Hermes PJOmetronic probably hit you with the tip of his caduceus and turned you into stone. Luckily for you, your Hermes PJOmetronic does know our customer support number so when he gets over his initial rage he'll probably turn you back or call us.

Cattle Thing: If you also have an Apollo PJOmetronic, your Hermes PJOmetronic will always try to go and steal those plastic red cattle that seemingly appear out of nowhere. Please refer to your guide on the Apollo PJOmetronic to know how to deal with such a thin.

Star Wars: Do not let your Hermes PJOmetronic watch Star Wars. He tends to become over emotional at the "Luke! I am your father!" scene and starts crying for days on end for some reason.

My neighbors discovered the stolen socks! What do I do?: Considering your Hermes PJOmetronic should be a master thief, this shouldn't have happened. If it did, you should probably try to get rid of the evidence as quickly as possible before law enforcement arrives, after all, you can't be convicted if you're not in possession of the stolen goods.