Lulu: Happy Holidays! sorry this couldn't come out sooner, but I think that this is gonna be a fun chapter :3 it's about a certain little talk that everyone gets at a certain time...Enjoy~
NOTICE: IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH THIS FANFICTION, PLEASE DON'T REPORT ME; JUST TELL ME YOUR ISSUES WITH THE PARTICULAR FANFICTION, AND I WILL DO MY BEST TO FIX THEM. I REALLY DON'T LIKE HAVING TO LOSE FANFICTIONS AND REUPLOAD THEM ALL OVER AGAIN. THANK YOU
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HOMESTUCK, FOR THAT IS OWNED BY ANDREW HUSSIE. ENJOY
WARNING: THE CHARACTERS IN THIS FANFICTION AND THEIR PERSONALITIES MAY NOT BE TRULY CORRECT; THIS IS BECAUSE THE AUTHOR (aka Me) MAY EITHER INTERPRET THEM DIFFERENTLY THAN THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE INTERPRETED, THEY MAY BE CHANGED IN ORDER TO FIT THE SPECIFIC AU, OR IN WORST CASE SCENARIO, THE AUTHOR (again, Me) MAY HAVE HAD THEIR PERCEPTION OF THESE SPECFIC CHARACTERS CHANGED DUE TO READING TOO MANY OTHER FANFICTIONS CENTERING AROUND THESE SPECIFIC CHARACTERS. PLEASE READ THIS FANFICTION WITH THESE THOUGHTS IN MIND.
POV specifically targeted in this chapter: Sol Deuce (Midnight Crew), Terezi Snowman (The Felt)
Your name is Sol Deuce, and you're enduring the most embarrassing shit imaginable. So, here's the deal; after KK and Terezi's…weird date/disaster thing, your parents met up and thought it'd be a great idea to tell you all why you didn't need to fuck up your lives with stuff like "sex" this early. They didn't really take into mind the fact that their five children were only eleven and besides KK, none of you were even interested in such a disgusting thing like love, much less something gross like sex.
Granted, you really had no idea what sex was. You knew that it was something movies, television, and internet talked about a lot, though, so it was probably something that was really well-known. You also knew that it was something that Slick talked about having all the time whenever he was drank that "alcohol" stuff that you weren't allowed to touch. Whenever he described "sex", he was usually talking about doing something with a girl. If it was something that involved girls, then skip that! You hate girls, they're gross!
…ok, so maybe there was one girl that wasn't gross, but she had nothing to do with this! Judging by how nervous she looked about this, she didn't know what sex was either. You of course knew that Tavros probably couldn't define the word either, because he was the most innocent of your little group so of course if there was something dirty, he wouldn't know about it. KK and Lux, however…they were a mystery. The two of them should've been assumed ignorant, but they watched a lot of those stupid rom-coms, so who knows what they'd seen?
"Sol, are you paying attention?" you were obviously not paying attention, but you nodded anyways. It'd save a lot of time on both of your parts.
"Good. Now sex…sex is…" watching your father, Clubs Deuce, trying to explain sex was the funniest thing you'd ever seen. He was blushing a bit, trying to gather the correct words, and he kept fiddling with his cap out of nervousness.
"Alright, he's done!" Slick proceeded to push Deuce out of the way "Now brats, I'm gonna explain what sex is. Now you take a woman, and then you f -" Whatever derogatory thing that Slick was about to say was interrupted by Droog knocking him upside the head with a bottle of some sorts. While any another person would've been concerned, the five of you'd seen that happen all the time, so it barely fazed you now.
"…Boxcars, would you like to take a turn at this...Boxcars?" You all looked around, surprised by the fact that the man who had the grace of a rampaging bull had managed to escape without anyone noticing. Droog sighed.
"Alright kids, what do you want to know?"
"I wanna know why this is such a big fucking deal! Why do we need you butt-munchers to tell us about whatever 'sex' is?" So apparently KK didn't have a clear picture of what sex was either. Glad to see you were all learning this together, you guess.
"Well, most ordinary parents wouldn't have to worry about this kind of thing for a little bit longer, but we're not ordinary parents. Having Slick around doesn't help much either, so we have to make sure that you're safe…"
"He means that you can't knock any bitches up - " and again, Slick fell to the bottle. Bravo Slick, bravo. You groaned, why didn't the Felt have to deal with this…
BE ONE OF THE FELT KIDS
Your name is Terezi Snowman, and that was those were the most embarrassing moments of your life ever. You'd just spent two hours with all the other Felt kids (except for Caliborn, because he stormed out in the first five minutes) in a small room, being explained the "wonders of safe sex"…yeah, your name is Terezi Snowman, and you're never having sex…ever…
Lulu: End~