Please see previous chapter's author notes for details on how I changed a couple of scenes around.

Thank you all for your comments - and another shout-out to my guest reviewers :). Also - THAT EPISODE! *hyperventilates* I can't believe Monday nights are back to being the magical nights that confuse my entire system of values. (who ever WANTS Mondays?)

A Tangled Web (29)

Sharon was mad.

The fact that he'd been right about that did not make it better in the least.

Rusty rubbed his hands against his cheeks, squeezing his eyes shut. The familiar smell of the condo just made the knot in his stomach intensify. Tiredly, he kicked off his shoes and dragged himself to his bedroom.

He wondered if there was anything he could've said that would've made her not give him that horrified look…

"Rusty, I'm not mad –"

"Oh, I wouldn't make that promise until I heard what he has to say."

Sharon had looked back at him, then, "What's this about…?"

He'd known that she'd find out eventually, but he'd hoped… he'd hoped that maybe she wouldn't.

Then Lt. Flynn had started talking about the case, and Rusty had just known, he'd just seen it coming, and much like with many of the other awful things that had happened to him in his life, he'd been unable to head it off.

No explanation that he could've come up with, at that point, would've made any difference.

"I…okay, the reason that… I – I did… I was just trying to…"

"That's our cue." Lt. Provenza had quietly tapped Lt. Flynn on the arm, his expression wry.

And then it had been just him and Sharon, and she'd started to look worried long before he'd even gotten the words out.

Alone, now, in the quiet condo, Rusty felt like throwing things.

It was all so unfair.

All he'd wanted had been for Sharon to come back. Now, all he wanted was for things to be okay between them, because if they only had a few weeks left together, he didn't want to spend them with her being mad at him.

Even if she was right to be mad at him.

Rusty sat heavily on his bed, not even caring that the sheets were still halfway off the mattress, and the comforter bunched up in the far corner.

He'd told himself that he wasn't sorry.

When Lt. Flynn had yelled at him, Rusty had felt awful but he hadn't truly felt sorry, because he'd been so desperate to do something…!

When Det. Sykes had given him those censoring looks in the rearview mirror, when Lt. Provenza had called him a thoughtless teenager, when Buzz had scolded him in the car, Rusty had told himself that he wasn't sorry, because now Sharon was back and anything, anything was worth it, for that. He wasn't sorry that he'd gone. Throughout a whole day of being looked at crookedly and admonished in passing and tormented by the worry of Sharon finding out, he'd said it in his mind a thousand times, that he wasn't sorry, he wasn't sorry, he. was not. sorry.

And then…

"Sharon I'm sorry, I'm – I'm really, really sorry, I didn't – Sharon, I'm sorry‼"

…then he was.

"I swear, I'm never – I am never doing anything like that again, I –"

" – know that was – stupid, and, and thoughtless and just…really stupid, and I shouldn't have…"

"I'm sorry‼"

It was like a button had been flipped inside him, because the second that he'd actually had to talk to Sharon about it, what he'd done had suddenly seemed like the worst idea in the world, and by roping Cooper into going to Griffith Park he'd disregarded everything that she'd ever taught him, and it hadn't been kind or safe, and how could he have, and sorry…

Sharon hadn't even needed to say anything.

And for most of it she hadn't said anything, stunned into silence as he stumbled through his messy explanations, her questioning expression at the start growing first worried, then increasingly horror-struck.

It might've been easier if she'd yelled at him outright.

"I just didn't know what else to do…!"

" –and you weren't there –"

" –and –"

"I thought…"

Whatever he'd told her had sounded awfully insufficient even to his own ears.

And now she was angry with him.

Rusty buried his face in the pillow, but Sharon's look of dismay was burned on the inside of his eyelids.

She was angry with him, just like he'd feared…and though she had every right to be angry, he still selfishly wished that she wouldn't, anyway. Because part of him had still been hoping that, somehow, things would work out, and that maybe she'd … keep him, she said she loved him but – but eighteen was old, and kids left home after high school, and it wasn't Sharon's fault that he hadn't been able to figure anything out for himself. And he wasn't her responsibility – not… biologically, and soon not legally, either, and … he just wanted things to be okay between them. At least.

Sharon hadn't said much to him. Apart from an appalled "Rusty…!" and a couple of increasingly disbelieving 'what's and 'how's, she'd listened, and for minutes on end he'd felt compelled to fill the silence that fell whenever he stopped talking. So he'd said more and more and more, until… until he'd seen how very tired she looked, and then he'd shut himself up. He was done.

The silence had stretched on, between them. Almost against himself he'd still felt the urge to fill it. It just pressed on his eardrums, wrapped around his heart. Each heartbeat thudding loudly in his ears.

She'd shaken her head again, eyes closing briefly. "Alright." He could see a soft sigh leave her lips. "Alright," she'd said again, "Rusty… thank you for explaining all that."

"Are you…like…"

He'd trailed off, because there wasn't any point in asking if she was mad.

Sharon had sighed once more. "Go home," she'd said softly. "Get some sleep."

She'd even squeezed his hand, lightly, but he'd seen the way the corners of her mouth drew downward, and the tired worry lines around her eyes, and he'd known that she was not happy with him, and that just made him want to cry.

He hadn't known what else to say to her…

"I'm sorry…"

"I know."

"Sharon –"

"I know, Rusty." Her tone had still been gentle, no heat to it at all. "Don't worry about this tonight. Go home. We'll… talk."

In the end he'd told her goodnight and let Buzz drive him home. The two of them perfectly silent in the car.

Why did things always have to be this complicated? Why had he fought with Sharon so much, before? Why couldn't he have just listened, and then maybe things would be better, now, and maybe…maybe…

Rusty sighed, his hands curling around the edges of his tangled sheet.

Sleep did not come easily that night.

Sharon hadn't thought that she'd be able to go to sleep, but exhaustion had gotten the better of her soon after Rusty's departure. Whatever was going through her restless mind, her body was still claiming most of her resources to recover, and though she couldn't stop the troubled thoughts and worries, it had only become harder and harder to think – until, between a building migraine and the agitated fluttering of her heart, she'd drifted off to sleep.

Though she'd startled awake a couple of times through the night, it had been all too easy to just settle back against the pillows and not fight the tiredness that was weighing her down. Her thoughts had tried to rev up again, questions and emotions and terrible scenarios circling through her mind, but she'd tried to tell herself, 'tomorrow'; moonlight had been streaming in through the window, electric light and the distant noises of human activity through the cracked door, and thus reassured that she was not alone and trapped any longer, Sharon had let sleep reclaim her each time.

A commotion in the hallway outside woke her up in the morning.

It took a few seconds to get her bearings, and she found herself still a little weary, but she had to admit that she felt better than yesterday, and infinitely better than the days before. The headache was gone, her mind clearer. She couldn't tell what time it was, but the sun was fully up, though not too bright or hot, so she assumed somewhere around eight or nine a.m. or so.

Blinking – her eyes were too dry, again – Sharon tried to focus on the noises that had woken her up. Raised voices and some sort of argument drifted through the door, loud and jarring, and – was that Buzz almost yelling? It was hard to make out any words, but she thought she recognized his voice, although… Sharon had never heard him sound quite so… angry.

What was going on out there?

"Do you gentlemen mind keeping it down?" A nurse had emerged from one of the other rooms, and Buzz felt a pang of embarrassment at the admonishment, because the last thing he wanted was to be causing any disturbance."This is a hospital. Please take it outside."

"I apologize, Ma'am," said Buzz, his tone lowering a notch. But he continued to fix the stranger in front of him with an unhappy scowl. "Okay, why don't we go outside, and –"

"You can go outside," the irritating man retorted, "and I'm going to do what I came here to do –"

"It's not even nine a.m.," countered Buzz, "this isn't the time to visit the Captain! And...I'm pretty sure that you're not on the visitor's list, anyway. So, uh…you're not going in there."

"You don't have the right to deny me access to a potential – "

"Look, I'm calling Lt. Provenza right now, okay?" Buzz had his phone in one hand, and was doing some sort of awkward dance where he'd almost interposed himself between the other man and the door. "You can talk this out with him."

"I don't care if you call the National Guard," the man retorted, "as my client's attorney, I have a legal right to interview the prosecution's witnesses before – "

"I don't think that's true," said Buzz.

"I don't care what you think, detective, or whoever you are, that's the law."

"No, it's – Yes. Lieutenant…! Uh, I stopped by the hospital after dropping Rusty off at school, and Erik Jensen's lawyer's here, and he's trying to …"

"Lt. Provenza also doesn't have a right to stop this," the man protested.

"…yes, that's him... no, I ran into him just outside in the hallway – hey!" The man had tried to walk around him again, and Buzz scowled as he moved once more. He wasn't really sure what to do, precisely, but he was pretty sure that Jensen's lawyer wasn't going to go bother the Captain at eight-forty a.m., on her second day recovering in the hospital. "I told you, you can't go in there! Uh, yes, lieutenant… alright…yes, I will…" He held out his phone to the lawyer. "For you."

"You're joking."

Provenza's angry voice exploded from the speaker, loud enough to make out a few choice words despite the fact that the phone was on handset mode.

The lawyer took the call.

Buzz sighed.

"Buzz." Sharon stood up straighter, adopting a serious look as the man slipped into her room following a discrete knock. "What was happening in the hallway?" The argument had stopped a few minutes before, but she had a feeling it was important.

Surely enough, Buzz grimaced. "Uh…it's… not important…?" He sighed at her arched eyebrows. "I ran into Erik Jensen's lawyer just outside, he… wanted to interview you, I guess. But don't worry," he hurried to add, "Lt. Provenza scared him away." A beat, then – "I mean… explained to him, that now wasn't a good time. Politely. Very politely, Captain."

She couldn't help a small smile, despite the fact that news had only added an extra layer of worries to her day.

As she'd told Lt. Provenza the previous night, this was bound to happen sooner or later.

"Are you alright?" she asked Buzz after a moment. "That sounded like a serious argument."

He grimaced again. "You heard that? I'm sorry. I'm fine, uh, the lawyer was very…insistent. But he's gone now."

She smiled again, a little strained. "I appreciate the intention, Buzz – yours and Lt Provenza's – but technically, as the defense lawyer, he does have a right to try and get my statement," she pointed out calmly. "There was no need to give him any reasons to complain; I could've told him that I do not wish to speak with him, and he'd have had to leave, anyway."

"Yes, Ma'am. I just… didn't know if you were awake, and I didn't want him to bother you."

Sharon nodded in quiet acknowledgment. In any case, the issue was moot, since she assumed that if Provenza had been involved, the lawyer had probably been 'explained politely', in no uncertain terms, that if he liked his male anatomy he should stay away until further notice.

She wasn't sure how to feel about that. But it came from a good place, obviously, and it wasn't as though she was eager to fend off Jensen's attorney, or as though she'd have enjoyed waking up to find him there in the room with her ready to pounce, so… she let it go.

The problem was, if the lawyer was here, that meant that things were going toward a trial.

If there was a trial, would she have to testify?

Sharon had only seen Jensen, himself, for about thirty seconds in the parking garage, before – her throat tightened uncomfortably – before he'd set off that bomb. She had been given second-hand information by Danny, but any halfway decent defense lawyer would be able to bring her recollections of that into serious question, given her state during the discussions with the young man. But with Donnell and Danny dead, if she was the only sort-of-witness that the state had, then… Just the thought of having to take the stand was an icy weight in the pit of her stomach.

But even if she didn't have to testify, she would still have to give her statement. Even if she didn't talk to Jensen's lawyer – which she had no intention of doing – she'd still have to talk to someone. Andrea, probably, and her own team. In some ways that made it easier, but in others she just wasn't thrilled about having to discuss these things at all. Not until she was done thinking about it. Which… could be a while.

She'd thought that she was prepared to at least hear their side of what had happened while she'd been gone. She'd thought that she'd wanted to know. Rusty had proven her wrong, oh so wrong, the previous night.

God.

She had not been prepared for that.

Granted, there was probably nothing worse now, to find out, because there could be nothing worse than the fact that her foster son had somehow managed, escaping everyone's notice, to convince a police officer to take him on an unauthorized search action in a potentially dangerous area. And then gotten himself abandoned there, and then followed Lt. Flynn down that tunnel, and it could've...

God. Rusty!

She looked up at Buzz again, who was waiting a little awkwardly for her to finish thinking.

Not that that was likely to happen any time soon. There was just… so much, to think about...

Sharon sighed.

Buzz cleared his throat. "Rusty gave me this when I picked him up this morning…" He held up a small bag. "I think it's your glasses and a watch and… whatever else you'd told him to bring you. He didn't want you to have to wait until he was out of school."

Of course he hadn't. Her lips pressed together painfully. "How was Rusty this morning?"

Buzz gave a lopsided nod, "Okay…he went to school, like you said. He was…uh…" He sighed. "You know. Okay…"

Sharon didn't even know what 'okay' meant, now. Was Rusty mad at her? Upset? Something else? What was he even thinking? What did he think that she was thinking?

Well – obviously he'd known that she wouldn't be happy with him over the Griffith Park incident. He'd known that all along, that was why he'd been so worried about her getting mad – of course, at the time, she'd thought that he was asking her not to be mad over something else entirely, and he'd thought… God, who knew what Rusty thought? There was so much unspoken between them, lately.

So much.

Sharon frowned, thoughtful.

"I dropped him off at school," Buzz was saying, his voice bringing her back to reality, "and I can probably pick him up when he's done, drive him over here… I think the Volvo was still in evidence over the weekend, and we didn't think to release it yesterday. Uh, I'll talk to Det. Sanchez when I get to the station, about that."

She dipped her head. "Thank you, Buzz. And thank you for stopping by to bring me this," she motioned to the small bag.

"No problem, Captain. You – I hope you're feeling better. You look a lot better… I mean, if that's okay to say."

Sharon smiled. "Thank you."

"Alright. Uh – Captain, there's one more thing. Before I go…ah, Lt. Provenza said that… he and DDA Hobbs were probably going to come over, soon. Since Jensen's lawyer was already here, he thought…"

She nodded before Buzz was done explaining. She got it. If Jensen's lawyer was starting to sniff around, the best thing to do was for her to give the team everything she remembered, so they had all the facts before the defense did.

That didn't make her any more eager for it. But it had to be done.

She pinched the bridge of her nose, and tried to come up with some coherent account of what had happened. Even though the more she thought about it, the less it seemed that her information could do much in their case against Jensen. And the more muddled her memories became. God, it was still hard to believe that this had happened, any of it.

What a week…

She desperately wanted the chaos to settle down, and her life back in order. Or at least… whatever passed for order, in her life, these days. Even before the damn explosion, there had been plenty of uncertainty and turmoil; she wanted some peace of mind, now. She wanted…

A plan.

Sharon closed her eyes, and sunk into the pillow at her back.

He could hear Lt. Provenza's voice from the hallway, the gravelly timbre all too familiar. So Sharon wasn't alone...

Not that that would make a difference. Rusty swallowed hard. He really wanted to see her, but his stomach was still churning anxiously. Was she a little less mad at him, today? More? She'd said that they'd talk…

Either way it was out of his hands, now. He'd made his last move, so to speak. Now it was Sharon's turn.

He didn't think his pieces were in a particularly good configuration on the board. For…anything.

" – wouldn't worry about it too much," Lt. Provenza was saying from inside the room, "it probably won't come to that, anyway. We're very much expecting to make a deal…"

Rusty sighed.

Everything around here was deals. Only now he was used to it.

He'd have liked to think of a new deal of his own…but it felt, to him, that he had nothing to bring to the table.

With another sigh, he knocked lightly on the partly-open door, and he went in; Buzz followed a few steps behind.

Sharon looked a little surprised to see him; her eyes automatically went to the watch she'd placed on the bedside table. Reading the time, she gave him one of her looks. "Rusty…"

"It was just PE and chess club after lunch, Sharon," he promised in a small voice. "I asked Sister Anna if I could go, I swear – and, like, if she was sure…she said yeah. I'm not missing anything."

It took a few seconds, but he could see her relent, and she exchanged a look with Lt. Provenza.

"Did you have lunch?" she asked quietly.

"No… I know, the hospital has a cafeteria," he repeated her words from the previous day. "I'll uh… I'll…go. If you want me to."

He couldn't read the look she gave him.

"Well, I'm afraid I need to leave, Captain," said Lt. Provenza. "DDA Hobbs is already on her way back to the murder room. With this new information you gave us, we might need to rethink a few things… oh, don't worry, I think the good outweighs the…less good," he assured. "Ah – but Buzz, we might need your help, so you'll have to come back with me."

"Of course, lieutenant." Then he gave Rusty a slightly questioning glance.

"I'm fine," the boy hurried to say, "I'll uh, just hang around here." He gave Sharon a questioning look, just in case she didn't want that, but she didn't say 'no', so… he guessed that she didn't mind. At least there was that.

Provenza gave him a knowing look.

"Lieutenant…" Sharon was looking up again, her expression serious. "I wish I could have been more helpful to you and DDA Hobbs."

"Oh, but you were, " Provenza assured, but she just shook her head, displeased:

"My statement hurts the case against Jensen more that it helps it, and I'm aware of that."

The lieutenant looked thoughtful for a moment. "Only on the surface, Captain," he said slowly. "Only on the surface. We still have a few roads to follow."

Rusty wasn't entirely sure what they were talking about, but Sharon looked unconvinced.

Buzz and the lieutenant left shortly afterward, and Sharon glanced at him again, with a thoughtful expression, then her gaze moved to some point in the distance. She didn't say anything else.

Rusty shifted on the balls of his feet, his stomach feeling the size of a pea again.

She looked better than the day before. The dark circles under her eyes less visible. The IV line was gone, and the monitor. Her left hand was still wrapped in a large bandage, though.

She wasn't even looking at him.

He didn't know what he was supposed to do.

"Sharon… I know… look, I know that you're mad but… please don't like, stop talking to me... Sharon…"

She looked up, then, and a faint crease appeared between her brows. "Oh – I'm not giving the silent treatment, Rusty," she said quietly. "I'm just… thinking."

He wasn't sure that made him feel better. "Thinking… about what?"

There was another long pause, and Sharon let out a slow breath. "About…failing to communicate properly. Crossed wires."

He cringed, "Sharon, I'm so sorry – look, I know you're mad –"

"I am mad," she confirmed, her gaze still unfocused. "Or… at least, as close to mad as I can get toward you right now, which…" She trailed off, shook her head, her eyes closing briefly. "But that's not the issue that I'd like to discuss."

Oh god. Rusty swallowed, his heart starting to pound.

For another half a minute she became lost in thought again, still looking at some undetermined point on the opposite wall, but then she glanced back to him, and nodded. "Alright. Rusty… what you did… going off on your own like that, regardless of the reasons –"

"It was – Sharon, I know it was stupid, and awful, and – and I shouldn't have –" At her arched eyebrows, he grimaced, and shook his head. "I'm sorry. Uh… you can…go on…"

Sharon bit her lips, and sighed again. "That was not the right thing to do, no. And – we are going to discuss that, but – not now. Not now, Rusty." She held up a hand when he opened his mouth. "We'll get to it, and you can tell me anything else that you have to say on that topic, then… and I will certainly have more to say, too. But right now, there's something else that I want to talk about," she nodded to herself again, "because I have realized that avoiding conversations like this only leads to more crossed wires, and that is something that I would really. like. to avoid, in the future."

Her look and wry, serious tone would've been almost reassuring, if – if they hadn't been so serious.

The boy swallowed hard again.

"Yesterday," Sharon started, "I told you that you were correct in pointing out that my attitude toward you may have been … restrictive. Perhaps even unreasonable. I am less convinced today," she amended a little dryly, "but ... that doesn't change what I'd like to say." She opened her mouth again, and hesitated.

Hesitated for long enough that Rusty lowered his head and murmured, "I didn't think you were being unreasonable…", because he thought that maybe that was what she was expecting. And also because he didn't think that she was being unreasonable now. And because it didn't matter if she didn't let him to anything, because he'd still rather have that, and her, than… nothing.

Judging by Sharon's expression, his protest was not what she wanted. "Yes, you did. And that's alright. Rusty…" her eyes turned sad, "I would much rather hear what you actually think, even if it's something that you think I won't like, than leave things unsaid between us. That, I think, has been happening too much, lately. And…there are some things that can not be left unsaid, because the more we stall, the worse they get," she let out a long breath, "and that's exactly why we're having this conversation right now."

He passed both hands through his hair, growing more agitated, because – he wasn't sure what she was talking about, but it sounded an awful lot like something that she didn't want to talk about, and something that he didn't want to talk about, and –

"There is something else," she said slowly, deliberately, "something else that I think affected my behavior toward you, even when I didn't fully realize it. And I should have brought this up much earlier, instead of..." she shook her head, "…waiting. Stalling."

"Sharon – whatever it is, we don't – if you don't want to talk about it…"

"No, I do. Though…I'm not certain that this is the best time – but Rusty, I am certain that having put this off for so long was a mistake," her expression was grave, "and I would like to correct that mistake, because… because that is something that I can do, right now." She swallowed, her breath a little shaky, and resumed: "Rusty… in just over a month, you are going to turn eighteen…"

Oh god, this was it. This was his thirty-day notice.

Of course she was doing it – Sharon had promised him that she'd do it, and she was keeping this promise, too, like every other one she'd ever made him.

But Rusty didn't want this promise kept.

"…and as you know, you are going to have to make …" She trailed off, cleared her throat.

He could tell from the way her voice was getting all low-toned and emotionless that she was having a hard time saying it to him, and he wanted to make it easier for her…

"You're going to have the option to –"

"Sharon… I know," he told her honestly. "I can … I can get a job, I'll find my own place. I'll – I'll be okay, you don't have to –"

"That's not what I want," said Sharon. "No, listen to me for a second…Rusty, I know this is not an easy discussion to have. But that is precisely why it's so important that we have it," she said firmly, "and that we do it right. Alright? So here's what I would like." She met his eyes with that patient, open look of hers, and he clenched his jaw and scratched at his neck and tried to do whatever she wanted. "I would like you to let me tell you what I'm thinking," Sharon requested, in a softer tone, "and the reason I want to do that first is because I want you to have all the information. But then, Rusty, I would really, really like it if you could tell me what you're thinking." Her look was almost pleading, at that. "And… we'll take it from there. Alright?"

He nodded, silent, and Sharon let out another slow breath.

"Okay. Now – before I say anything else, please keep in mind that the one thing I want above everything else, is for you to be okay. Happy. Comfortable. Honey," she leaned forward, "whatever course of action you take, if it's what you think will make you happiest, then I am one hundred percent behind that, alright? Just… remember that."

Rusty didn't think she'd say that if she knew just how badly he was failing at being anything that she wanted him to be, but okay…

"And maybe you don't know exactly what you want," Sharon went on with more disclaimers, "and that's normal, and I'm happy to talk about it and see if we can figure things out together. But Rusty –"

"Sharon, I know. Okay? I ...know. Just… tell me what you want me to do. I'll…keep the rest in mind." But he was planning to do exactly what she wanted, because what was he supposed to do otherwise, force her to keep feeding and clothing and supporting him? Well – maybe he wouldn't do all she wanted, because he fully planned to pay her back, when he could, and Sharon would probably be pretty opposed to that, but maybe he could figure out a way to do it without her knowing…?

But… she had said that she'd listen to what he wanted. So like… maybe he could convince her… but… well, she'd probably say 'yes' to what he wanted, and then she'd be secretly sorry, and – honestly, he'd brought her nothing but trouble.

He sighed, shaking his head.

"Rusty." Sharon had reached a hand to touch his elbow. "What's wrong?"

"I'm tired, Sharon," he murmured honestly. Then he realized how ridiculous it was for him to be complaining when she was the one in the hospital. But... "I'm sorry, I'm…" he rubbed his nose, and met her eyes again. "I'm just really happy that you're okay. It's hard to care about the other stuff."

And it was true. Why even worry about what he'd do, when the bottom line was that wherever he'd end up, he'd know that she was somewhere, maybe even nearby, and that she was okay, and that was enough.

The thought brought him an odd sort of peace. He thought maybe he really could be okay with whatever. Because he'd already gotten what he'd wanted most of all in those two awful, awful days – for Sharon to be back, for her to be okay. And she was. And he'd gotten a good long while with her, and – and she was probably not going to just… move across the country or something, the second he was gone, so he could maybe still see her and… he thought that maybe she wouldn't mind that so much, now.

Maybe things wouldn't be completely horrible.

He still felt like this was the worst thing in the world, but maybe… maybe it would be a little better than he'd feared.

Maybe Sharon would say that they could meet every now and then for like, coffee – or, or at those weird restaurants that she liked where they had really small portions in really big plates. Maybe she'd say that he could call her if he needed help. She'd probably say that, right?

He lowered his chin, looking away.

He didn't want to meet Sharon for coffee now and then.

His lower lip started quivering, and rubbed his nose with his palm again to try to hide it.

But Sharon wanted to have this discussion, and… and she was right. It would only get worse if they kept stalling.

Okay.

Rusty nodded, straightening his shoulders, and said determinedly, "Okay. Tell me what you think."

Now, Sharon hesitated. There was concern in her warm look. "This can wait. Go home, get some rest. We can call Buzz back to pick you up…"

And just like that she was giving him more time, which was another thing that Rusty really wanted right now, but… "No – no, I want to know. You're right, we should talk about this. It's… I've…I was… thinking about it, too," he admitted in a wary voice. "You know… before everything happened…"

Sharon smiled at him, a little worriedly. Preoccupied with his dejected appearance, she'd kind of lost her train of thought. But…it wasn't as thought she could forget what she was going to say. There was only one thing to say, if she was really going to be honest about how she felt. And maybe her brain was still a little fuzzy from the trauma, but she couldn't think of logical reasons to not be honest.

Well. Pressure. Undue influence. His emotional welfare. Ethics.

But…

She took a deep breath; this wasn't something that could hurt him, she didn't think so. As for the rest…

"Rusty, you know that I love you," she said softly, looking at him again. "Having you in my life has been a…a gift, that I did not expect. And while we may not be able to say that it's been all smooth sailing," a pensive smile curled the corners of her lips, "I think… overall… the good has far, far outweighed the bad." She tilted her head and said again, "Far."

"I think so too, Sharon," His voice broke a little at the end, but he swallowed and kept it together.

She smiled warmly at him. "Good. But…" her eyes wandered away once more, as she struggled for the right words. "Rusty, to be perfectly honest, it wouldn't matter, either way. I love you for who you are," she met his gaze again, "not for how well we get along. Oh – that's part of it, of course, but it's not all of it; it's not even the main part of it. Do you understand?" She searched his expression, before continuing: "I know these last few weeks have been…difficult…and the months before that have been difficult, too. I know that, I..." Sharon sighed. "Rusty, what I really need you to understand," she regrouped, "is that how we get along has very little bearing on how I feel about this situation, alright? I'm very pleased when things are good, of course – and less so when we fight, but ultimately…that doesn't matter, and it will. not. ever really matter."

He didn't understand, but he nodded anyway. Maybe she was trying to tell him that it wasn't because they'd been fighting a lot that she was telling him to go. That sounded like something Sharon would say to reassure him.

"Yeah… I get it, Sharon. It's okay."

"Okay." She took another deep breath, and let it out in a soft sigh, smiling affectionately. "That's all there is to it, then. I know that turning eighteen is an important moment in your life, Rusty," she nodded seriously, "and – again, I am going to talk you through and support you in whatever you decide. But I want you to know, that having you live with me, sharing my home with you, has made me very happy. And nothing will make me happier than to continue to offer you that home, for as long as you want it."

Rusty frowned. "What…?"

He'd been expecting a 'but', not an 'and' there.

Sharon held up both hands in a reassuring gesture. "That doesn't mean that you should feel pressured into anything other than what you –"

"Wait, Sharon, just… hold on. Wait. You don't mind if…if I… continue to live with you? Even if I'm not a …a ward of the state, or whatever, anymore?"

She bit her lips. "Mind. No, I don't mind at all."

"But like… is that even allowed?" He was growing agitated. "Like, the law says…it's The Law, Sharon! I mean, I'll be eighteen. I'm not supposed to have a, a guardian anymore…?"

Sharon swallowed hard; she didn't mean to, but she could feel her eyes welling up anyway. "That's true," she said quietly. "Legally, my guardianship will end the day you turn eighteen."

"So…?"

"So…" She didn't know what he wanted her to say.

"They won't let me stay…?"

"'They'? No. Rusty…" She leaned forward again, looking him straight in the eye. "It's my home, and you are my. child, and as far as I am concerned you have all the right to stay there until you turn fifty, if you are so inclined. Nobody, the state or DCFS or…anyone, has a say in that."

Rusty took a step back, feeling his insides all tied up in knots. "Sharon… I…I don't…"

She held up a hand. "Rusty. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. But I want this issue cleared up, because – it's the best thing to do. So…bear with me," she requested. "Just so there are no misunderstandings… I don't care how old you are. My home is your home, and that's not going to change, ever. And you're welcome to stay there, at any point, for any period of time, and I will always welcome you back." Her voice trembled, but she pushed on. "No matter what, Rusty. Always. Always. Okay?" She frowned, searching his face again. "Is that sufficiently clear?"

He couldn't even nod.

Somehow, it felt that his entire body had grown rigid.

Sharon sighed tiredly; she didn't know what to make of his reaction.

He wiped a hand under his nose again, as two tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes.

God. "Rusty…"

His arms crossed tight around his middle as he nearly folded in on himself, and she started to stand up to reach him better, only the second that her hand touched him his arms went around her instead, and the boy held on so tight that she felt she couldn't breathe; even as she lowered herself back to a sitting position he wouldn't let go, and they both sank to the bed, his arms still around her neck, and she could feel his entire body shaking silently.

"Honey..."

"God – Sharon – I don't know what…I don't understand…" His hands trembled as he bunched the back of her gown in his fists. "I don't understand how … how I got you, Sharon. I just… it doesn't make sense, don't you see that?" He was crying in earnest, now. "Sharon…"

She closed her eyes. "I don't," she whispered quietly. "Having you makes perfect sense, to me."

He just sobbed, at that, and she sat there, rubbing circles into his back as he held on, his fingers clenched around her gown, his face hidden in her hair. By the time a minute had passed, there were tears running quietly down her cheeks as well, until a nurse walked in and paused uncertainly two steps into the room:

"Ah… I'll come back later."

"No…" Rusty sobbed hoarsely, and he disentangled himself with some difficulty, because his limbs all felt too heavy. "No, wait." He wiped at his eyes but it didn't really make a difference. He tried to look at Sharon, but he couldn't see her well; tears were sticking to his eyelashes. "I don't want to … if they need to do something for you…"

"Oh, honey, no," said the nurse. "I was just going to get her signature on a couple of forms. Everything's fine, I'll give you two a few minutes."

Sharon was doing a slightly better job recovering her composure. "That's alright. I'll sign what you need," she said softly, and took the clipboard and pen from the nurse.

"You okay, there, hon?" The nurse gave Rusty an understanding smile. "Why don't you run across the hall to the bathroom and get yourself cleaned up. I'll help this beautiful lady here with a last check-up and her discharge papers… we'll be done processing everything soon."

Rusty swallowed; not having registered most of that, he just sat there on the bed, staring at the woman, until Sharon patted his leg.

"Go ahead."

He turned toward her and hugged her again. "Thank you, Sharon," he mumbled roughly, but she shook her head and said seriously:

"Don't thank me."

He understood what she meant, but – how to tell her? Tears started streaming out again, like he couldn't stop them, and he tightened his arms around her. "I love you."

He could hear the smile in her quiet voice. "I know." After a second, she pulled back a little to kiss his temple. "I know, honey."

Rusty sniffed, and nodded.

"Go ahead. I'll finish the discharge forms and call for a ride, and then… we can go home." She smiled at him, her hand squeezing his arm lightly.

Rusty ducked his head, wiped his nose again, and smiled back. "Yeah. Okay."

I'm not sure what to say at the end of a chapter that doesn't have a cliffhanger! Oh - I know! It's probably safe to get rid of those antacid bottles, at this point. (probably. PROBABLY.)

Thank you all for reading.