A/N: First, let me apologize for leaving you hanging for so long. I intended to have this story completed at least a month ago but stuff got in the way. I'd rather not go into the details but it's not over yet. However, I thought it important that my tale be completed before canon came up with its own version. So, you'll have it all before you know what the folks at TBBT tell us what they believe happened this summer. And before they remind how happy Penny and Leonard and Sheldon and Amy are in their dysfunctional, charmless, dead-end relationships.

70

After Penny left Melanie's office she felt the need to simultaneously think about what they'd discussed and clear her head of the various things she'd been obsessing over. She didn't think her last method of head clearing, posing naked, would work this time so she started walking. And thinking.

Had Leonard always been a bad guy?

Did she just have lousy taste in men?

Was there something real between her and Sheldon?

Were her new jobs the right move for her?

Was sex really that important? Didn't it always send her in the wrong direction?

What was her new life going to be like?

Was she ever going to really be happy?

Suddenly, she found herself standing in front of Nora and Alex's building. She rang the buzzer and Nora answered.

"C'mon up."

Penny opened the door and walked in on Nora doing some Yoga exercises, naked of course.

"Hi Sweetie. I'll be done in a couple of minutes. You're welcome to join in."

"Yeah, uh, no. Naked yoga is not exactly what I had in mind when I rang the bell."

"Um, you look serious. Lemme put something on and we can talk. Okay?"

"Thanks. I'll make us some tea."

"That'd be cool."

A few minutes later Nora came back out in shorts and a tank top.

"Thanks for getting dressed. You really didn't have to."

"Alex asked me to make some adjustments. Especially if I'm going to run a business from home. One of them is to wear something when other people are here."

"A business?"

"Yeah. I figured out that a lot of people are having troubling finding decent artists' models to work with. I thought I'd network with some of the folks I know, bring some new folks in and offer a service to the artistic community, scheduling good people at fair rates. Stuart's already signed up and so have a couple of other collectives. Alex even gave me dispensation to have a white board in the house so I can work out the schedule. Once I have it down she's going to help me design an app to keep track of it that all the models can have on their phones. I know you'll probably be way too busy to join in regularly but can I call you if I get stuck?"

"Um, I don't know. But you're always welcome to call. I might be in the right mood. Starting a business sounds pretty involved."

"To be honest, most of what I'm doing now is phone calls. But it's coming together pretty quickly. Based on what Alex and I already know, we figure that I'll have enough extra income from this to support us moving to that bigger apartment upstairs. We're signing the new lease tomorrow."

"That's great!"

"Yup. And the coolest thing, besides having lots more room, is the private outdoor space on the roof. Our own private roof beach. Suits optional of course."

"Of course."

"You know the offer to move in with us still stands."

"Thanks. I mean it. You and Alex have been amazing friends. Letting me stay here. Listening to me go on and on about the stupidity of my life."

"Penny, come on. You were in a bad place and you needed us. We know you'd be there for us if we needed you."

"I hope so. Anyway, I think I want to get used to living by myself for a while."

"What does that mean?"

"I think it means that I concentrate on me and my work and being a better person."

"You're already a good person, Penny."

"I'm not so sure of that. While Leonard and me were together we really made things hard for Sheldon. We pushed him towards Amy. We really didn't respect his desires at all. We made him change for us."

"Penny, I wasn't there and I don't know all of you that well but you are not responsible for what Leonard and Amy did. Yeah, you were there but from what I've heard, Amy did most of the pushing and Leonard was doing a bunch of pushing of his own."

"Yeah, but I could have stopped it."

"Really? Were you really so self aware and intuitive that you knew everything going on was wrong?"

"Not so much. Mostly I was sloshed."

"So stop beating yourself up over it. Leonard and Amy are gone. And Sheldon has gone incredibly out of his way to make absolutely sure that you're part of his life. A big part. Please don't second guess it."

"It's hard. I know me. I know what I usually want. And I know that it'll mess things up."

"Then don't."

"It's that simple?"

"No, it's incredibly hard. I'm a drunk. Been one since I was a teenager. The easiest thing in the world is for me to walk into a bar and start drinking. I like the atmosphere, the camaraderie, the noise, the smell, and the taste. But I also know that if I start I won't stop. And I'd lose everything I've gained since I stopped drinking. And I'd lose Alex. So I don't."

"It's not that simple."

"Penny, I think I have a pretty good sense of who you are. For a long, long time you wanted to do a lot of things and failed. Over and over. But there was one thing you knew you did really well. Bluntly, you like to fuck. And you're real good at it. And when you're hurting that's what you want to do. Go to a place where you are absolutely secure in your ability."

"Yeah."

"Well, that's not the only thing you do well any more. You have a good job. Two good jobs. And you're going to be famous. You have friends that really, really love you. And, eventually you'll have that one person. You might already. You're going to get everything you ever wanted."

"So you think I should just concentrate on everything else and forget about sex?"

"I didn't say that but that's what you're thinking, isn't it."

"Yeah, but I'm not sure I can."

"This is about Sheldon, isn't it?"

"Kinda."

"Go on."

"I think there's something there. He thinks there's something there."

"Sweetie, we all think there's something there. Mainly because there's something there."

"But the timing sucks. He's putting his life back together. I'm putting my life together. And, even if that wasn't the case, Sheldon doesn't do sex."

"Okay. Well, I've seen you two together. Sheldon not doing sex won't be forever. He may not realize yet that he wants you physically but he does. He just needs to figure that out. And you need to give him the space to do that. And you need to make sure you don't do anything to screw things up."

"Pun?"

"Not exactly. Penny, you're a very sexual person. Remember, we've been pretty close physically and even if I wasn't gay I'd be attracted to you. I'll admit that it took some real self control to stop myself."

"Um, feeling a little uncomfortable."

"Don't. Because I would never do anything to threaten our friendship, my relationship with Alex or our relationship with Sheldon. You need to keep it in your pants, too."

"Easier said than done."

"You're going to be pretty damn busy with work. And that's going to lead to other work. If you really believe that you and Sheldon have a future then you should concentrate on work. And maybe get yourself a bunch of sex toys. The by yourself kind."

"I already have a bunch of those. Remember, I was with Leonard for a long time. Not exactly a finisher."

"Um, TMI."

"I that almost everyone knows. So you think I should just wait until Sheldon is ready."

"Yeah. And I don't think it'll take as long as you think. You're barely into this new arrangement. You haven't even really started at SyFy. Trust me, soon you won't even have time to think about this stuff."

"So I guess it's a celibate life for me. At least for now."

"Well, if you want a good sendoff into the world of temporary celibacy I'd be happy to volunteer Alex and myself. She does this thing with her tongue…"

"Nora!"