Contrary to popular belief, I don't have a personal vendetta against Mabel.

She grinned, sitting up. Then she thought for a bit.

"Grunkle Stan said I need to stay home."

"You'll only get worse here. Stan doesn't need to know, alright?" I had sneaked out before a couple times, but I'd never ran away from home. She took out her list, and skimmed over it.

"Okay," she responded with slight hesitation. "Let's go then."

Deep down, we knew this was probably the best option. We were both aware that she didn't have time left. I didn't have time or patience to argue with Stan about how she deserves to go out and fulfill her final wishes.

I hadn't fully realized that she was going to die. I'd have to face the remaining years of my life alone. But what troubled me the most was that she was never going to do the things that I was. She'd never step foot in high school or college. But I would. Alone, confused. I didn't have many friends. And the ones I did have teased me endlessly, anyway.

I held the suitcase of our things in one arm, and with the other, I held her hand. We quietly left the shack. I was pretty sure she couldn't walk without holding my hand. Her balance was off, and her legs were much too weak now.

I had to carry her piggyback halfway to the bus station. I went up to the window and bought two tickets. We waited for the next bus to California. It didn't come until about 3am.

We sat in the back, as usual. There were only a few others on the bus. I held Mabel's hand, and she rested her head on my shoulder.

"Dipper...," she looked up at me. "It...hurts..."

"I know, just close your eyes," I replied. She did so, and out of habit, I began to quietly sing a lullaby that Mom used to sing to us. (It really was out of habit- I hate my singing voice!)

"Don't be scared. We were born prepared. For, you see, you're safe beside me..."

I closed my eyes as well, hoping I'd wake up from this nightmare. I would open my eyes, and be back at the shack. Mabel would be happily skipping around, twirling around and being her silly self.

Despite my wishes and mental pleas, I woke up, still in the bus beside Mabel, who still slept.

Alright, she's still breathing. This is good.

What I hated though, was that the bus played the same ten songs on the CD player the entire time. I heard them play over and over in my sleep. It kind of worsened my mood.

"I'm coming home, I'm coming home. Tell the world I'm coming home. Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday..."

Even though she was asleep, I cherished every moment that she was alive. Because sooner or later, she was going to be six feet under, and I'd only have my memories.

It was probably 10am. The sun was rising now, and we were somewhere in Southern California. We had already passed our hometown, and I was somewhat surprised we had made it this far. I took the list, which she had clutched to her chest as she slept. I looked over it. There were over fifty things we had to do, and I didn't know how long we had. Outside of the hospital, she could have died at any time. Now that I thought of it, it was probably illegal to deny treatment like that. But in a small town with such a small police force, it was easily overlooked.

Before I knew it, the paper became tearstained. I was dying as much on the inside as Mabel was on the outside. I had this cold feeling in my chest. I was a mess.

"Dipper," she opened her eyes, rubbing them. "What's wrong?"

"N-N-Nothing," I replied. Seeing me cry got her started, which happened often when I cried. Then it was just a tear parade. "I'm...just..."

"No m-matter what...," she looked down. "I'll be with you...o-okay? Even w-when I die, y-you won't be alone..."

"Y-You're not...going to die," my attempts to suppress the truth were futile. I knew she was going to die. "I..I can't lose you..."

The bus stopped right in front of Disneyland. She wiped her tears and smiled, grabbing my arm as we left the bus.

We approached the ticket counter. We bought two tickets and briskly entered the park. Neither of us had ever been to Disneyland, though I always wanted to go. No one ever wanted to take us, and Stan called it "a people trap set by a mouse". Kind of ironic if you think about it, considering the fact that he cheats people out of their money for a living.

I carried her on my back, knowing she didn't want to walk so much. She needed to save her energy anyway.

After going on a ride or two, she became more and more lethargic. She loved rides, but maybe it's not the best idea when you're so sick. We sat down at one of the diners with strawberry smoothies as a parade went by. She didn't seem as happy as I wanted her to be. I was doing this for her. I ran away from home and stole money so she could have a good time, so what the hell was this about?

"Mabel, are you alright?"

"Yeah. It's just that...," she rested her cheek on her hand. "I didn't say goodbye to Grunkle Stan or Waddles. Or Wendy or Soos, or that cute guy that works at the grocery store. And it's like...I should be doing this sort of thing when I'm old and dying of natural causes. I...I don't know...I guess I'm just not ready. I wanted all this to be a reminder that I got better. Not a reminder that I'm not going to make it."

I instantly understood.

I was doing the wrong thing. Taking her there. As if to say, "You're going to die. Do this crap before you die so it won't be so depressing."

"Mabel...," I swallowed hard. "I didn't know-"

"It's alright," she sighed. "I really appreciate you taking me here though. I...shouldn't have agreed so mindlessly."

I should have thought this through.

This isn't what she wanted. This is what I wanted her to want.

I should have tried harder first. I should have tried harder to pressure Stan to sell the shack, or begged Mom and Dad to try to pitch in. Stan had already asked, but they declined. It's sad. You shouldn't have to beg your parents to help save your sister's life.

Damn it, Dipper, you're so stupid!

"I...I just...," the smoothie I was drinking slipped out of my shaking hands and fell to the floor. I covered my face and sniffled.

Please forgive me...Mabel...

"Dipper...," she placed an arm on my shoulder. I looked up at her eyes, which had dark circles under them. She was pale and looked as sickly as she probably felt. "But I'm happy...that you would do this for me," a few tears ran down her cheeks. "I couldn't have asked for a better brother. Let's just...go do the next thing, if it's not too much to ask."

"Mabel, you wanted to go to Disneyland, though. It was the first thing on your list. 'Go to Disneyland with Dipper'."

"Yeah. Because you always wanted to go."

"But..."

"If you want to stay longer, we can. I know you've always wanted to be here, and-"

"No, we'll do whatever you want. How about The Puppy Cafe?"

"That's two hours from here."

"We can get back on the bus, okay? Whatever you want. Because I know for sure that's something you wanted to do. That...that would cheer you up, right?"

She giggled.

"I do like puppies."

I ruffled her hair and we stood up, heading out of the park. It was hard both carrying the suitcase and carrying her on my shoulders. But it was worth it.

The bus ride to San Diego was just as tedious as the one to Anaheim. We sat there, silently. She pulled a brown spiral notebook from her sweater after about an hour.

"What's this?" I asked as she handed it to me.

"I thought it would be a good idea to write letters to you while I was in the hospital. I know it's silly," she giggled. I opened it to the first page as she began to doze off again.

I have this headcanon that the lullaby is in the tune of "Made Me Realize," the show's opening sequence. The show's opening is the lullaby, but more upbeat. And, you know, without vocals.