A Tangled Web (34)

"Come sit for a moment, Rusty."

Rusty sighed.

This was the third time in like, three days, that Sharon invited him to sit down for 'a talk'. This time though, he wasn't sure what it was about, because as far as he could tell he hadn't done anything. He'd gone to school without further protest both days, and – okay so he'd still caller her a couple of times from school, yes, but she didn't seem to mind that much – and he'd even scraped a B+ for that biology report on poisonous frogs, even though he'd spent about three seconds actually writing it.

They'd made it to Friday afternoon without any further drama, and Sharon was finally starting to look better – the dark circles under her eyes were gone and she didn't seem so tired all the time, and she'd changed the large bandage that used to wrap around her left hand for a slightly smaller one that didn't look nearly as terrible. Rusty still didn't really want to take his eyes off her for more than thirty seconds at a time, but… they'd reached some sort of silent compromise. Whereby he could watch her like a hawk as long as he didn't make too many comments about what she should and shouldn't do around the house. He was still allowed to remind her to take her antibiotics.

So things were…good. Good and quiet. One last quick mental inventory convinced him that he hadn't earned a lecture (right?), so this must be about something else.

He sat down at the opposite end of the sofa.

Sharon stared off somewhere to his left for a long moment, lips pressed together and a focused look on her face as she gathered her thoughts; then with an imperceptible nod to herself, she looked back at him:

"Rusty we had a discussion pending," she started in that calm voice of hers, "and I have some things to say pertaining to that. So if you don't mind, I'd like us to have that discussion now."

Confusion must've crossed his features, because she dipped her chin a little and her thoughtful expression returned as she elucidated, "I'm talking about what happened while I was gone – about your actions, on Sunday, that put you in Griffith Park."

Rusty cringed.

"Oh." That.

He'd somehow conveniently forgotten about their 'pending discussion'. It did not surprise him in the least, however, that Sharon had not.

He bit his lips, giving her a cautious look. "So … I'm guessing that that 'if you don't mind part' would be…'misleading'…?"

She just smiled at him, more affectionate than amused, really.

Rusty sighed. "Okay – I'm really sorry about what I did, Sharon."

"I know."

He could've thought of about twenty other things to say, but the truth was, none of them worked in his defense, really… and Sharon had promised that they'd continue this discussion, back when he'd first come clean, so now she was within her rights to do so. And to yell at him if she wanted, because she was absolutely, totally, one hundred percent right.

Sort of.

Rusty had a feeling that he'd be hearing some things he wouldn't like.

Grimacing, he told her, "Uh – and just so you know… Lt. Flynn already yelled at me over the whole thing. And… so did Lt. Provenza. And even Buzz, a little. Seriously, I've heard it from like…everyone." At her unimpressed look, he cleared his throat."I'm not saying that – I'm not trying to get out of this," he clarified, "just that… I get how what I did was…not the right thing to do."

"I know," Sharon conceded. "I'm not planning to do any yelling," she assured him with an almost-smile. "And I know that Lts. Flynn and Provenza have already … expressed their opinion on the matter, to you. I'm confident that you're aware of how you disregarded your own safety, and how things could've gone very badly..." She paused for a moment, eyes closing briefly as she had to willingly shift her mind away from those scenarios. "What I have to say," she resumed, in the same calm tone, "isn't something that Lt. Flynn, or Lt. Provenza, or anyone else, could've told you. But it's equally important… if not more."

She looked somber.

Rusty scratched at his arm, and sort of half-nodded for her to go on. What else could he do?

"Alright," said Sharon, and her tone turned a little stern. "First of all, let me say right off the bat that I agree with everything the lieutenants have said. If I don't repeat it, it's only because, like I said, I'm convinced that you've already processed and understood all they've told you –"

" –I did –"

" – and that you're aware of the magnitude of your error in judgment under those circumstances–"

"I am, Sharon –"

" –good," she told him, "because the lieutenants were entirely correct in pointing that out to you. And you should absolutely continue to think about what they said." She let out a long breath, her expression turning pensive once more. "But there's one other, important thing to add here, Rusty, and you're going to need to understand that, as well."

The boy was feeling a little confused again. "Okay…?"

Sharon clasped her hands together, adjusting her position slightly against the back of the sofa.

"What happened in that garage was …a twist of fate," she called it, after a moment of weighing her words. "An isolated incident, the result of a set of circumstances that was impossible to predict, and is unlikely to ever repeat. In all probability, something like this won't happen again," she reiterated, "but –"

The boy grimaced involuntarily at the 'but'. She should've just stopped at 'this will never happen again', because that was exactly what he wanted to hear. About a hundred times over, if possible.

Sharon leaned forward, having noticed his grimace, " – but…Rusty, you've been there in the murder room, almost every day for over a year and a half. You've seen what we do and how it works. Parts of it can sometimes entail a certain level of danger, yes," she closed her eyes briefly again as she nodded, "but you know that we're always aware of that, and we have measures in place to keep us safe. You know that."

Rusty shifted in his seat. Yes, he knew that, but all those measures hadn't done anything for Sharon that evening in the 'Sun Plaza' garage. So what was the point, if…

"Sometimes, you still can't be prepared for everything," she went on quietly, reading his thoughts. "And unfortunately, sometimes – rarely, thankfully," she emphasized, "you've seen yourself how rare an occurrence that is…but still, sometimes people will get hurt anyway." She paused, eyes flickering away for a moment before she looked back to him. "Lt. Provenza once said to me that there's no defense against bad luck."

What? "But Sharon –"

He didn't know how to continue when she waited for him to finish.

"But…you're… you're supposed to be like, safe," he said, failing horribly to translate into words the icy churning in his stomach.

"I am," Sharon agreed. "We're all supposed to be – and for the most part, we are, perfectly safe. But honey, the truth is, it's impossible to anticipate everything."

That would be one of those things that he'd known he wouldn't like to hear.

Rusty crossed his arms, sending a vague scowl to the corner of a throw pillow. "I guess I don't – I don't really see how that's relevant to…what I did," he said finally, hoping to move the conversation back onto a less awful track.

Sharon nodded. "Here's how it's relevant," she explained, leaning back against the sofa again. "Like I said, the kind of danger that I found myself in this time is… unusual, for what I do. I don't expect that it will repeat itself. But –"

The boy flinched at the word 'but' again.

Sharon sighed, " –but Rusty, my control, anyone's control, over the things that we encounter in our lives, can only go so far. So it's very important to me," she fixed him with that penetrating look of hers, "that you understand my perspective, and my expectations, under any kind of unpredictable scenario. Because no matter how much I'd like to, I can't sit here and promise you that nothing bad will ever happen again –"

"Sharon –"

" –and if it does –"

"I get it –"

" –let me finish," she requested softly, holding up a hand, and with a sigh he fell silent, even though he really didn't want to hear about her hypothetical scenarios because – just, no. He gave her an unhappy look, and Sharon's lips twisted into an understanding expression.

"Rusty, I don't anticipate any particular dangers presenting themselves," she repeated. "Not at work, and certainly not outside of it in our daily life. But – if anything like this were to happen again," she raised a finger to prevent him from interrupting, "I need you to understand that there is nothing that matters more to me, in those kind of moments, than the knowledge that no matter what else, my children are safe, and that they are well." Her voice grew a little thicker but she continued, "No matter what else is going on – in fact, it's precisely when things are going perhaps less well for me than I'd planned," she told him, "that I most need to know that that's true. Do you understand what I'm saying, Rusty?"

The boy swallowed hard, fidgeting some more.

There was a knot in his throat again. He didn't know how Sharon did that, just by…talking to him. It was like her words, her voice, did something on the inside of his chest.

And then there was the whole 'children' thing, and…that was still kind of new. Not really, but sort of, and it was… complicated. But like… the good kind of complicated, for once.

Rusty swallowed again. Sharon was still waiting for a response, so he nodded, "Yeah. I understand."

But she wasn't done.

"I know how hard it is to sit back and wait, in those situations," she added quietly. "But that's exactly what I expect you to do. However difficult it is," she lowered her chin to give him a solemn look, "that's the right thing to do. Wait. Stay safe. Go on with your day, or – or if it's necessary, go on with your lif –"

"Sharon," he protested again – why was she so fixated on this all of a sudden?!

She sighed, "Rusty, I understand that you don't like to discuss this, but given what has happened – what you did, I need you to listen. I'm not angry, and this isn't a lecture," she said in a soft tone, "but I need to be convinced that you understand what I'm telling you."

"I know but I get it, okay? I get it," he swore. "And for the record, this is like…a hundred times worse than the lieutenants yelling at me."

Sharon tilted her head to give him a sympathetic look.

Rusty rubbed a hand to his neck, and sighed. "I'm sorry for what I did, I mean it," he said. "I'm sorry I was stupid and went off by myself, and… like, that I could've gotten in trouble trying to look for you. That was…seriously stupid. I get it. And…I know that that kind of thing is definitely not what you'd want," he acknowledged with a grimace. "I'm never gonna do it again. I swear, Sharon, I won't," he repeated at her still-hesitant expression. "I understand what you're saying. If – if – I'm just not gonna do anything like that ever. again, alright? But – can we please just, like…stop it with the 'unpredictable scenarios' talk?"

"Rusty–"

His shoulders hunched, and he gave her a pathetic look.

She hesitated for a long beat; but then her eyes softened and with a small nod she said, "Okay," and smiled at him as she leaned forward to squeeze his arm.

And just like that, she was done.

Rusty stared at her for a moment, as though waiting to make sure it was really over. And when all she did was gaze back with that warm smile of hers, he let out a long, relieved breath.

He reached his own hand over to where Sharon was still touching his arm, but, once it was there, he didn't really know what to do with it – so he just ended up awkwardly patting her wrist, and then smiling back at her. The corners of her eyes crinkled some more.

After another few seconds, Sharon checked her watch. "How about this…" she hummed, leaning back against the sofa. "It's almost dinner time. Why don't we go out to eat…and maybe catch a movie, if there's anything playing that you'd like to see?"

Rusty paused to process. "Really?"

"I don't see why not," she shrugged nonchalantly. "It's Friday night, you don't have school tomorrow… plus, we're out of groceries again and I don't feel like take-out. We can stop by the grocery store on the way back from the cinema."

The boy grinned. "Do I get to pick the dinner place this – wait." His expression suddenly turned serious. "Hold on a second, Sharon."

One of Sharon's eyebrows arched slightly in a questioning manner.

"Are you sure you're like, okay with going out…?" Rusty gave her another one of those once-overs that he'd been perfecting all week long. "Aren't you supposed to still be resting, until Monday?"

She stuck her hands in the pockets of her sweater, and tilted her head at him. "Rusty, I'm suggesting dinner and a movie here, not running over to a construction site to volunteer as manual labor." Her lips twisted in amusement. "I am absolutely fit to go out, yes – and I'm getting hungry," she added, moving to get up from the sofa, "so why don't you give me fifteen minutes to change, and in the meantime you can think about what kind of food you'd like?"

He still looked a little cautious. "Are you sure…?"

Sharon just waved a dismissive hand, as she headed down the hall to her bedroom. "And please try to remember that there are other types of food than burgers," she called over her shoulder.

Rusty rolled his eyes. "Yes, the unnecessary types."

Sharon had been smiling at things all morning, he'd noticed.

She'd smiled at her purse as she'd set it out on the desk, smiled at the new phone before dropping it into the purse, smiled as she'd pulled on her blazer while walking over to the coffee maker, smiled at him pretty much the whole way through breakfast, and now that that was almost over, she was sneaking happy glances toward the front door.

Rusty smirked behind his coffee mug as she got up to refill hers.

"You know it's like…weird, to be this excited about going to work on a Monday morning, right?"

Sharon shot him a superior look over her shoulder. "Just because some of us have to be wrestled out of bed with great physical force," she returned, "every school day, that does not make the opposite attitude any less valid."

"Yeah, or any less weird." He grinned.

She huffed and shot him a wry glare that did absolutely nothing to hide her good mood.

Rusty's own mood copied Sharon's as he watched her take another sip of coffee, and grab the last bite of pancake off the tip of her fork before carrying her plate to the sink – and was that humming under her breath that he heard? Elbows on the table, he followed her with smiling eyes as she flitted about the living room, dropping a few more things into her purse and scanning some note or other on her desk, all the while nodding at some mental checklists. She probably didn't even realize she was doing it. It was…

…well. Rusty ducked his head and smirked again.

Sharon noticed his look as she walked back to the table with her coffee. "Alright," she conceded with a small grin of her own, "it is possible that I'm feeling a little more eager about going in to work today. Having time off has certainly had its advantages," she gave a lopsided nod , "but a week of that was sufficient."

Rusty was still smiling. "If you say so."

She sipped from the mug again. "Are you almost ready?"

The boy snickered."It's like, seven o'clock, Sharon. We still have fifteen minutes before we have to go."

"I know," she said casually. "Just making sure that we're on track with the schedule."

Another snicker. They were more 'on track' than ever, pretty much. They'd both gotten up early: Rusty had intended to make her an extra-nice breakfast on her first day back at work, so he'd set his alarm twenty minutes earlier – only to find, as he'd stumbled into the living room at the unholy hour of six-twelve a.m., that Sharon was already halfway through mixing pancake batter. He'd stared at her in some confusion for a moment, and she'd returned the same look because when did he ever wake up early? But eventually they'd gotten past their bewilderment and agreed that an early start was good anyway, and then she'd allowed Rusty to fry some sausages and bacon with a minimum of protest.

He'd even convinced her to let him flip the pancakes.

And she'd only rolled her eyes a little when she'd had one and he'd had four. With bacon. Hey, it wasn't Rusty's fault that Sharon couldn't appreciate the benefits of a hearty breakfast. And did he make comments on how combining pancake with sliced mango was weird?

"Did you remember to get that permission slip?"

The boy nodded and mumbled an affirmative around his last mouthful of sausage.

"Good. And don't forget to give Sister Margaret my note excusing your excessive cell phone usage last week." She gave him a sideways glance, at that, and a resigned little sigh. "She didn't give you any more detentions, did she?"

"Nope. Just the three."

He didn't even manage to look a little sorry over the whole thing.

Sharon suppressed an eyeroll. Then she suppressed a smile, as she looked at the boy gulping down the remainder of his orange juice and almost choking in the process. "Take smaller sips, honey," she murmured absently, feeling that she must've said the same to him fifty times over already. Sure enough, Rusty gave her a look that plainly stated 'I know how to drink out of a glass, thank you' – and then he choked again. And tried to pass it off as clearing his throat.

She almost started laughing when he eyed the one pancake left with a thoughtful look.

"Rusty, you've already had four. You're going to get a stomach ache," she warned, and pulled the plate with the pancake out of his reach.

"But like…what are we gonna do with it?"

"What we do with all leftovers. It'll be in the fridge. You can have it later today, if you want, or tomorrow morning."

"But it'll be cold by then," he protested her appalling suggestion.

"Well, if it doesn't measure up to your refined discerning palate," smirked Sharon, "I suppose I'll just have to eat it, then. Now, go brush your teeth."

Rusty promptly ignored her. Eyeing the pancake again, he decided, "You know what, I'll probably just get hungry again on the way to school, I can just –"

"You're not eating while you're driving."

"But –"

Sharon picked up the plate with the much-debated pancake, and walked it over to the fridge. "Go brush your teeth and get your schoolbag," she repeated, pulling out their lunch bags. "It's almost time to leave."

The boy craned his neck. "Are you sure you're not this happy about going back to work just because you miss giving orders?"

Sharon hummed, "Well, there is something to be said about having people be legally obligated to do as I say, yes…"

Then they smirked at each other again.

Sharon pulled the car keys from her pocket when they stepped into the garage; Rusty readjusted the strap of his schoolbag.

"Come to the station after school," she said as they prepared to part ways. "I'll find us a nice place to have dinner."

Rusty nodded, then arched his eyebrow at her, "As long as it's not another all-vegan place…"

Sharon chuckled – that had been an accident, as she'd been too distracted and hadn't read the description properly. "I'll make sure there is at least one variety of heavily processed meat on the menu," she promised solemnly, and the boy grinned back.

They were almost near her car; Rusty's was parked a few spots away. Sharon swallowed hard, and tried not to think too much of the Volvo just yet. She was happy not to lay eyes on it for another little while at least. And honestly, she'd have also been happy parking her car on the street, but she couldn't go around the rest of her life avoiding parking garages, especially not in LA.

It was…fine. She'd already tested out her reactions on Friday evening when they'd gone to the movies – and though she'd not loved the walk to her car then, either, it had been only a brief surge of claustrophobia, followed by a low level sort of anxiety, and she hoped that within a few weeks those too would fade.

She shrugged the purse off her shoulder, gripping it in one hand as she pressed the unlock button on her car key. Rusty had paused as well, waiting for her to get in; she gave him a warm smile.

"Alright honey, I'll see you later." By habit, she opened her mouth to add something else, and managed to stop herself before the words were out. Instead she just pressed her lips together, and squeezed his shoulder.

Rusty's expression had grown somewhat hesitant. "Yeah…see you…" He shifted on the balls of his feet, then took a sort of half-step toward her, before halting indecisively. Finally he reached a hand and touched her elbow in an almost self-reassuring gesture. "You'll be careful…right?"

Sharon paused.

God.

Something indecipherable flickered in her expression, before her eyes softened and she smiled at him again. Closing the distance between them with one step, she put her arms around him to give him a brief, very brief, hug; the boy had barely managed to awkwardly bring up his hands to her arms before she let go.

"I will," she nodded quietly. "Don't worry." She met his eyes with an affectionate look. "I'll see you this afternoon, okay? Have a good day at school."

It wasn't until he was in the car a couple of minutes later that Rusty realized what he'd said.

He'd stopped at the traffic light right at the end of their block, and was happy to notice Sharon's car in the rearview mirror, just one car behind him. They'd have to split ways a few blocks down, but until then at least he felt that he could still keep an eye on her, so that was good.

He shook his head as he thought about how he'd just told her to be careful.

It was pretty ironic, the way he suddenly found himself telling Sharon the same things that she'd been telling him since his constant security had been lifted – and though for the past two months, he'd rolled his eyes and gotten annoyed each time she said those things to him, now he felt perfectly willing to repeat 'be careful' and 'drive safe' and 'text me' to her fifty times a day. And okay yes, there may have been something there about perspective and the other side of the fence and so on.

But also, this was different, because all he did was go to school and like, how dangerous could that be? Plus he could take care of himself, so –

– okay, fine, he supposed that Sharon could take care of herself, too. She was after all a police captain. But then, she wasn't just a police captain, was she – she was … well, his police captain, for lack of a better phrase… and just as she wanted to keep him, well…Rusty wanted to keep her, too.

He wasn't entirely sure how they'd go about doing that, exactly. It was…complicated, again.

But he figured that Sharon would probably work it out. And then she'd tell him. And…things would be okay. Better than okay, maybe – Sharon seemed to have some pretty big plans and… well, there was no reason, right, to not go along with those plans, and maybe she'd turn out to be right about how everything would happen from now on, too.

For the first time in a very long time, thinking about the future didn't make his stomach turn.

The light turned green, and, after his eyes flickered one last time to the mirror and spotted the silver hood of her car still safely behind him, Rusty pressed down on the gas and made the right turn onto Hillsburst Avenue.

And after a couple of seconds, he grimaced and belatedly turned on his signal.

What were the chances that Sharon would forget about this by the time she saw him again that afternoon…?

The End

"Frowny face." I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself, now that this story has reached its end just as the dreaded HIATUS is upon us. Plus, I have a feeling that tonight's episode might break my heart even more, too. Sads all around.

But - on a slightly happier note. Thanks so much to everyone who's read this story. And to all of you who've followed and/or added it to their favorites. And of course, to everyone who took their time to leave me a review, whether you did it every chapter (THANK YOU SO MUCH), or every once in a while, or just once, I ALWAYS appreciate hearing from you, and your kind comments never fail to make my day brighter :). And huge thanks to all the guest reviewers, as well, you guys are great! Uhm - and I'm pretty sure that I could keep going with the thanks for the next five paragraphs, but I'll spare everyone the diatribe and just make clear that I really, really love and appreciate all the feedback and encouragement and flailing, and writing this story has been a (:D wait for it) blast. (I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. I'll just go stand in a corner and reflect, now.)

I've got a few things planned now that this story is over (and HIATUS *sigh*), but as always, I'm happy to take suggestions, too.

And thank you all again for reading!