Hello! This fic is a translation of another one of my stories that I originally wrote in Spanish. I want to give a huge thank you to my Beta- Reader Zarathustare.

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 1: The Akatsuki Band

There was no greater pleasure for Hinata than clear, quiet roads. She didn't have to drive in traffic or endure the endless and adorable (maddening) fuss of kids in the back of the bus. Those days were behind her. Hinata was proud to announce that she was no longer a simple school bus driver; now, she was in charge of transporting distinguished, respectful, and elegant...

"KAKUZU, YOU STINGY SHIT! A damn bus?! Are you fucking serious?! This is for poor people!"

… artists.

Hinata snapped out of her daydream and looked in the rearview mirror at who had spoken. She met Hidan's purple eyes and his frown. When she wanted to look away, almost unconsciously, her eyes traveled along his body. Each time he made a move, the tenuous and toned muscles that stood out beneath the semi-open cloak kept her on edge. Hinata couldn't bear the embarrassment and covered her eyes.

"Himanta, the road!" exclaimed Deidara, alarmed.

"Huh?" Hinata opened her eyes and glimpsed a cow that happened to be on the road at midnight. She hit the brakes, and the bus came to a halt so abruptly that Hidan's head kissed the ground.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US, STUPID BITCH?! DRIVE PROPERLY!" he yelled. Hinata flushed with embarrassment and started to apologize, but Hidan ignored her. "Agh! I still can't believe we didn't buy plane tickets! DAMN KAKUZU!"

Hinata made a slight pout. In her defense, since the beginning she had insisted (with some stutters) that he should wear a T-shirt, that it wasn't appropriate for him to be half-naked under his cloak. However, Hidan, annoyed, had excused himself saying something about how he did not like wearing lots of clothes because they supposedly always got stained with blood.

"Shut up, Hidan."

Kakuzu kept counting his money and humming happily. He was the member who had contacted her. At first, Hinata had charged him fifty dollars for the trip from San Diego to Los Angeles, where Akatsuki would have their next concert, but Kakuzu had frowned, and somehow, while they were bargaining, she ended up not charging him a penny.

I'm an idiot, Hinata thought as she recalled the incident. Oh well, Kakuzu-san was kind enough to give me some tips on how to avoid getting scammed again. It's happened like ten times already.

"Aghh, what an unartistic road!" Deidara grumbled, now looking over in the direction of the driver. All he could see was a slim back and long, straight, blonde hair like his. "Himanta, how long until we get there?"

"Since we left ten minutes ago…" Hinata rambled, starting to drive again. "About... two hours? By the way, I'm Hinat—"

"Two hours, hm?" Deidara felt irritated. "I can't stand road trips! They make me dizzy. Also, what the hell is a cow doing in the middle of the road? Can someone explain that to me?"

"It's necessary, Deidara," Pain said. "We don't want a sign on our head that screams 'we're not human,' do we? So we couldn't use our powers to go to Los Angeles".

"You guys aren't... human?" Hinata asked, with uncertainty.

"We're not humans. We're rock stars," Kisame replied with a nervous giggle. "Right, Itachi-san?"

"Hm." Itachi nodded slowly.

"I-I understand. Fame must be complicated," Hinata said naively.

"Not really. Dealing with humans is nothing out of the ordinary," Sasori stated. "They are loud and sometimes have ridiculous behaviors, like Deidara."

"What do you mean by that, Danna?" asked Deidara, confused.

"I mean your obsession with hair masks."

Hidan chuckled, while Deidara blushed and added sharply:

"Having long hair isn't just anything. It requires hair masks, hm!" he emphasized, but no one looked convinced, "If I don't take care of it regularly, it falls out, and it doesn't look artistic at all!"

"Then you should ask Itachi," said Kisame, smiling. "He never does anything, but he always has perfect hair."

"Kisame, I'm an Uchiha." Itachi rolled his eyes.

"Deidara-chan, you don't need something like that. You're really pretty," Hinata complimented him shyly. "Even though, ahem, your voice is a bit masculine… I mean, there's no problem with that at all! I-I'm sure they sell female hormones somewhere."

A scathing silence followed this. Thinking that Deidara was touched, Hinata kept babbling things.

"And your eyes are so pretty! Your eyeliner is so thick and precise. It looks great with your..."

"That's not eyeliner!" shrieked Deidara, who couldn't take it anymore. "My eyes are like that, you stupid blind cow! Those are eyelashes! Besides, how dare you call me...?"

"Excuse her, Himanta. The poor thing is always on her period," Kisame said and laughed. Hidan burst out laughing, and the others had their own crooked smiles.

"Is that so?" Hinata said, worried. "If you're feeling unwell, I... I-I could, I mean... I have pills for period cramps..."

Deidara was getting redder and redder.

"Deidara-senpai! Is it true that you are a girl?!" Tobi exclaimed. Big tears began to leak from the hole in his mask. "How could you not tell Tobi?!"

"Shut the hell up, Tobi!" Deidara growled, and one of his eyes began to tremble. "I'M A BOY! How dare you, Himanta?! I'm gonna destroy your crappy bus this instant!" Then he stood up, pulled his bag out of the overhead compartment, and started looking for his clay.

"You're not a girl?" Hinata was stunned. "But why do you use eyeliner?"

"I already told you I don't use eyeliner, hm!" Deidara was displeased that he hadn't brought any clay for the trip. "It can't be! How am I going to make my art?"

"Be quiet," interjected Pain, the leader of the gang. "Your god is irritated."

But, as was the custom, the rest of Akatsuki turned a deaf ear to his words.

"If senpai uses it, Tobi wants to use eyeliner too!" Tobi exclaimed with enthusiasm and snatched his bag.

"Shut your mouth, Tobi," replied Deidara irritably, trying to snatch it back. "I already told you I don't..."

"Found it!" Tobi celebrated, pulling a thin black eyeliner out of the bag. Deidara's face lost color, and he clenched his fists furiously.

"HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY THINGS?!"

"Didn't you say it wasn't true?" Kisame scoffed.

Deidara hit Tobi with his bare fist so hard that he fell backward and the eyeliner shot toward an open window, soon lost in the darkness of the night.

"Whoops?" Tobi let out a nervous giggle.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Deidara fell to his knees.

"Do you see what you just did, woman? Now this idiot will delay us with one of his makeup shopping trips," Sasori complained loudly. "Since it's your fault, you'll have to pay for it by becoming a puppet in my collection."

"Dolls?" said Hinata, getting excited. "How interesting, Sasori-san! I always wanted to have a doll of myself doing dirty things with Naru— I-I mean..."

"P-U-P-P-E-T-S," Sasori spelled, annoyed. "Who do you think you are to demean my art like that?!"

"N-no, I would never..." she stuttered.

"Oh for God's sake, Himanta. Could you stop offending someone for FIVE MINUTES?! I'm counting my money," complained Kakuzu.

Me?! Hinata said to herself, slightly indignant, but then she calmed down and took a deep breath. Well, he's right. I think everything I say is misunderstood. Guess it's better if they are distracted. Then Hinata turned on the radio with the best of intentions.

"Dear listeners! Tonight we have a special discussion section called 'what is better...?' Our main theme is eternal art versus ephemeral art."

"What a specific topic," commented Hinata out loud.

"Let's wait for our first call of the night! Call now +1619XXXXXX2. Oh, I see an enthusiast is already calling our lines. Good evening, you are now in the program 'what is better...?'! What's your name?"

"My name is Deidara." Hinata glanced in the rearview mirror at Deidara, surprised.

"What kind of stupid question is that, hm?" Deidara spoke into his cell phone, his voice echoing throughout the bus over the radio's speakers. "Ephemeral art is much better than eternal art. True art is something beautiful, fleeting, and intense that disappears the instant it appears. The best things in life don't last, otherwise, they would lose their meaning! They would be as vulgar as works of art in a museum. You look at those works and you have no fucking idea what's so special about them. Maybe they were valuable when created, but now they are exposed like prostitutes who have already lost all their charms." Then he added with a passionate tone: "True art is dying and being reborn, not getting stuck in a past that no longer exists! Art... art is an EXPLOSION!"

Hinata's eyes watered. "That was beautiful, Deidara-kun."

Although, for some reason, the rest of Akatsuki had bitter expressions.

"These nerds are starting again with their catfights," complained Hidan, spilling onto the seat.

"Himanta, I advise you to turn that off," Itachi added, closing his eyes with a sigh.

"Wow, I see we have a poet on the show! Any listeners who have a different opinion? Oh, that was quick! To whom I speak?"

"I'm Sasori. That fourth-grade artist has no fucking idea about true art," Sasori raged on his cell phone. "Eternal art preserves what he discards as if it were garbage. Those works of art keep alive the soul of their creator! Immortalizing the creation's beauty is the goal of any work that is considered valuable because you can continue to admire it even after the artist dies. You don't need a non-existent time or moment to prove its worth. They are beautiful because they existed, exist, and will exist. It is an insult to forget them!"

Deidara gritted his teeth and ran to him, snatching his phone. "Ignore him!"

"Oh, you're the person on the other call! Are you guys in the same place?"

But Deidara wasted no time answering that silly question.

"Danna is wrong! Immortalized art sucks! How does he expect us to like some old thing that long ago ceased to have the same value? We like to know that at some point they were special, but their moment is already over! Keeping them is an insult to their memory."

Oblivious to the commotion that was slowly forming, Pain shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Himanta, stop the bus," he said, but Hinata didn't hear him because of the heated discussion between Deidara and Sasori.

"Beauty is eternal because it can be immortalized!" Sasori replied angrily. "It's idiotic to think that it must have 'moments' to be appreciated. True art is created to be appreciated at any time without worrying about something like time or space. It's everlasting beauty because it always makes us feel like it is our first time appreciating it."

"That's so true, Sasori-san," Hinata commented, touched. She couldn't decide who was right.

"Himanta, stop the fucking bus right now!" Pain said in exasperation. Hinata, scared, slammed on the brakes abruptly.

"Hello? Are you there... Sasori, Deidara?" asked the announcer. Sasori grunted. The momentum shot his head into the seat in front of him, forming a hole the size of a human head and leaving him stuck there. Annoyed, he put both hands on the back of the seat and pushed his head out. "Well, it seems that our two passionate participants are no longer available! Now it's time for some music. Let's hit the dance floor with 'Dame tu cosita...!'"

Itachi, who appeared out of nowhere beside her, had turned off the radio.

"Itachi-san?" Hinata said, meeting the gaze of his reddish eyes.

"I didn't graduate at seven to hear 'Dame tu cosita' on the radio," he said firmly.

"Auch!" Deidara rubbed his arm. The momentum had brought him to the ground. "Why do you have to drive so bad, Himanta?!"

AAARGH! It's Hinata! Is it that hard for you to memorize my name?! Hinata exploded to herself, but on the outside, she blushed in shame and said in frustration, "I'm so sorry, Pain-san told me to stop the bus."

Despite the annoyed stares he was receiving, Pain didn't change his expression. "I wanna pee," he finally announced and headed for the back door. The rest of the Akatsuki went back to what they were doing.

"Damn, kid! Where did you leave my phone?" Sasori demanded to know.

At that moment, Deidara realized that he was still holding it, but he had crushed it so hard that there was little remaining. A bead of sweat ran down his temple, but he soon laughed jocularly.

"It's a bit... broken," he said and put his hand forward. When he opened it, particles of what had once been a cell phone scattered through the air. "I guess that was its expiration date? But don't worry, Danna! According to what you said, its beauty will be preserved forever."

Sasori's face turned red with anger. In combination with his reddish hair, his entire head looked like a tomato. Deidara gave him a crooked smile.

Hinata looked at both artists with concern. What should I do? It looks as if they were going to fight at any moment. But just when she decided to open her mouth to ease the situation, Kakuzu got up from his seat and approached her.

"Himanta, your mediocre way of driving made me lose count, again," said Kakuzu and spread his open palm. "You owe me fifty dollars."

"A-Ah?" Hinata was stunned. "Why, Kakuzu-san?"

"Why? WHY? Did you just ask me why?!" Kakuzu exploded, though inside he felt victorious. "Your service is terrible! First of all, you haven't stopped harassing poor Hidan with your lecherous gaze! Do you think we men are some piece of meat?! Hidan is a chaste and bashful guy…!"

Hinata glanced back and looked at Hidan. He pointed his finger at her, then pointed at his pants, and then made an obscene gesture with his fist, his tongue, and his cheek. Then he smirked at her. Hinata's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, and a frenzied blush crept up her neck, exploding across her face and burning her ears.

"... Secondly, you're presuming that because Deidara is a man, he shouldn't wear eyeliner! I will not allow you to continue with your macho and stereotyped comments. A man's virility is not defined by that kind of thing! For your information, Deidara is the manliest guy I know!"

Hinata turned to look at Deidara. Sasori was pulling his hair.

"My hair, you idiot!" Deidara shrieked.

"Your hair looks like a rag!" snarled Sasori, who seemed to have intentions to make him bald. "It's as ugly as your art, brat!"

"Ridiculous! What would you know?! A guy who always buys shampoo on sale, hm!"

Kakuzu continued, snapping his fingers as if wanting to get her attention back.

"Third, your ignorance is offensive! How dare you call Sasori's dolls… uh, I mean, his puppets, dolls? Also, how do you intend to fix Itachi's eardrums, who almost had to hear 'Dame tu cosita' on the radio?" Hinata received the recriminations with her head down. "You also made me lose count of my money! So much time wasted… You owe me sixty dollars!"

Wasn't it fifty? Hinata said to herself, looking up in a panic. Her savings were in danger!

BANG!

Then, out of the blue, a loud explosion interrupted all the conflicts taking place, and the bus fell into imminent silence. Hinata put a hand to her mouth, horrified. The impact had been close.

"No, no, no, no, no!" Hinata unbuckled her belt and peeked out the door, frantic. "Pain-san…?"

But no one answered her call.

"Is he…" Hinata couldn't hold back her tears, "... dead?"

A solemn silence followed her words. Hinata turned to look at the rest of Akatsuki, stunned. It was her duty to transport those artists, safe and sound, to Los Angeles! How could she have lost one?

Hidan squeezed his mouth into a fine line and clutched his stomach as if he wanted to throw up.

"My God, Hidan-san! Are you okay?" Hinata approached him, concerned. She comforted him with a broken voice, "Don't... don't worry. P-pain-san... I'm sure he..."

But Hidan couldn't take it anymore.

"HAHAHAHA That asshole is finally dead! And he believed himself a god!" Hidan shuddered with laughter. "There's only one god, motherfuckers! Jashin-sama for president!"

Tobi, unlike him, burst into tears.

"Buaaah!" He whimpered, covering his face. "Poor Pain-senpai! Tobi liked him!"

"Finally…" Kakuzu celebrated, relieved. Just yesterday that guy tried to convince him that they should all take a flight (like Konan), instead of taking a bus. Always spending their money on nonsense, did he think money grows on trees or something?

Kisame seemed surprised for a moment, but within seconds he was distracted again talking to Itachi, who made no effort to pretend that he was paying him any attention.

Sasori shrugged nonchalantly.

"That…" Deidara began to cry loudly, "... was beautiful!"

"There was nothing artistic about it," Sasori looked at him with infinite contempt.

"It was beautiful, hm! Who did this?!" he said delightedly. Then he turned to see Hinata, who had tear tracks on her cheeks. "And look who is crying, Danna! HA! Himanta shares my emotion."

"Deidara, stop saying stupid things. She must be crying because she is disgusted."

"Disgusted?!" Deidara gritted his teeth and moved closer to her. "Himanta, you are crying because you are too excited, aren't you?

But Hinata was still in shock, so Deidara tried shaking her.

"Himanta!"

Hinata snapped out of her stupor and looked at him, horrified.

"P-pain! Pain! He is…"

At that moment, a mysterious voice resounded from all corners of the bus.

"BE AFRAID, AKATSUKI."

Itachi raised an eyebrow, but then he thought about how much it wasn't worth his time, so he leaned his head back against his seat and ignored it.

"And you are?" Kisame asked without much interest.

"Are you a fan, hm?" Deidara asked, smiling. "I can give you an autograph for your efforts. The show was beautiful."

"It was crap." Sasori glared at no one, displeased.

"Crap is your hideous puppets, hm!" Deidara replied arrogantly.

Sasori glared at him. "Damn kid."

"Haha. If we consider that Danna is an old man." Deidara laughed out loud, and Sasori frowned.

"Oh yeah, well you are—"

"AKATSUKI, A GREAT DANGER AWAITS THOU…" the voice began in a dignified tone.

"Shut up," Sasori interrupted the mysterious voice in exasperation. "Deidara, as I was saying, you fucking piec—"

"Hey, nobody shuts me up!" the voice exclaimed, using its highest pitch.

"Are you a friend of the moron in the mask?" asked Hidan, comparing both voices. "If so, I'll kill your stupid partner right away."

"No, Hidan-senpai!" Tobi exclaimed, offended. "Tobi is a good boy!"

"Shut up, fuckface," he spat with a psycho smile. "I would gladly give you up as a sacrifice!"

"Hidan-senpai, you are so bad!" Tobi began to cry.

"Pay attention to me!" said the voice, irritated. "I'm saying here that you're in danger and—!"

"Shut the fuck up!" Sasori interrupted him again, exasperated. "Deidara, as I was saying, I'm going to—"

"STOP SHUTTING ME UP! How do you expect me to recite my evil monologue if you keep telling me to be quiet?!"

And Sasori finally exploded.

"My patience has a fucking limit!" Sasori lunged at Deidara, irritated from being interrupted all the time by the shitty voice, and pulled out a pair of scissors. Hinata pulled away from them, surprised by the unfolding of events.

"Sasori, don't you dare to...!" Panicked and wide-eyed, Deidara flinched violently. From the shock, he hadn't even called him as usual. "NOOOOO!"

Chang!

"Bastard!" Deidara watched the strands of hair slide through his fingers. Sasori had cut his fabulous blond hair unevenly to the nape of his neck, and it seemed that once cut, it had lost its luster.

Everyone's expression turned incredulous. No one had ever seen Deidara without his trademark diva hair.

He, in his madness, began to laugh out loud.

"Deidara-kun?" Hinata said, raising her hands as if she wanted to comfort him in some way.

Deidara snatched the scissors from Sasori and destroyed them with brute force alone. Hinata's eyes flickered in amazement at his power.

"This has gotten personal, Sasori-danna," Deidara said, and his blue eyes turned icy.

"THERE'S A BOMB ON THE BUS!" the voice warned, tired of being ignored.

"I knew this day would come," Deidara pointed at him with a finger. "so I have a surprise for you!"

"LISTEN TO ME, MORONS, IF YOU DON'T GO AT 120 KM PER HOUR, I'LL MAKE YOUR FUCKING BUS EXPLODE, SO WOMAN, START DRIVIN—"

"Look, Danna!" Deidara said maliciously, and from his rear he pulled out a bear-shaped puppet. He had taken it when Sasori wasn't looking.

"Teddy!" Sasori exclaimed in anguish.

"Yeah, watch your fucking puppet get ripped apart!" He said sadistically and turned to Hinata. "Start the bus, woman!"

But Hinata couldn't do it. The mysterious voice's warnings echoed in her head. If the bus started and there was a bomb, then there would be a high possibility that…

"That's it, girl!" Sasori said proudly. "Don't listen to that fourth-grade artist!"

"AAARGH! Fourth-grade artist your fucking Teddy!" Then Deidara sat in the driver's seat, started the bus's engine, and hit the gas fully.

Hinata barely held onto one of the seats.

"Fucking Deidara, don't you dare!"

"Say goodbye to the world, Teddy." And Deidara threw the puppet out the window.

"NO!" Sasori leaned out onto the road, heartbroken.

"He was a very ugly bear anyway, hm."

"I'M GLAD YOU GUYS DID WHAT I ASKED," said the voice, cheerful.

"Who's paying attention to you, shitty voice?!" Hidan complained, staring down the road in boredom.

Even though Hinata somehow ended up getting the wheel back, both artists got into their catfights again. Also the mysterious voice kept saying things, but it was ignored.

Hinata, meanwhile, felt like everything was getting out of control.

Oh well, how bad can it get, she told herself. Her favorite habit was to pretend she was ignorant of all the disastrous things in her life so that they wouldn't spit in her face. Right! I'll turn the radio back on. And so she did.

"This playlist is so lit, bro!" exclaimed the guy on the radio, excited. "Now we continue with the hits of 2016!"

A sudden coldness ran up Itachi's arms, and he felt an awkwardness imprinted deep within him. It seemed as if his intellect was warning him about something and, without knowing why, an intense dread ran through his body…

"PPAP."

... And he opened his eyes, bloodshot.