I decided to post the chapter ASAP after scaring everyone to death. Now everyone take a deep breath and read on!
As I drifted through the darkness there were no dreams, no visions, no nightmares, just memories.
The first time I met her. How she didn't fall for my looks or try to flirt. She had fascinated me from the start. Fate had brought her into my life when she broke my camera. I could have cared less about the camera it was easy to replace, but for some reason I needed an excuse to make her stay. I should've known then that she was special. She always did whatever I asked her. Even the times I was trying to push her to her breaking point. She may have complained but she always did it. I always felt in control till I met her. I couldn't break her or make her hate me and it drove me crazy.
"You always were a narcissistic jerk." I closed my eyes. Her voice seemed so real inside my head. I desperately wanted to turn around to see her standing there looking at me with those golden eyes.
I wanted to wake up. This was getting too painful. I didn't want to remember. All I wanted to do was forget. Forget the pain,the hurt, the love, the longing to have her back with me. All these were emotions that, before I met her, I would have swore I didn't poses. I felt fingers rustle through my hair.
"I can't take these memories!" I screamed out and closed my eyes tighter.
"If you're going to scream at me, at least make it to where I can understand it."
I looked up to find Mai staring down at me. Her cheeks were rosy and full of life. Her body was still badly bruised and cut up, but the deep ones on her wrist were gone. I couldn't help but to let the tears roll down my cheek. She bent down and took my face in her hands and wiped away my tears.
"Did you have another nightmare?" She couldn't hide the concern in her voice.
I lept up and wrapped her in my arms. She didn't move. She didn't even make a sound, and her breathing had stopped. I put my lips on the top of her head and relished the light fragrance of tea that clung to her.
"You're not dead?" I half whimpered into her hair.
She tore away from me.
"Why did you think I was dead?" She looked up at me worried.
"I had a vision. I held you. You were so cold. Covered in blood." I could hardly form sentences as I pulled her back into my arms.
"You don't have visions like that." She told me with confusion.
I realized that she was right. My visions were always seen through the persons point of view that it was about. How could I have been so stupid.
"Sometimes when we see horrible things our judgment gets cloudy. It gets hard to tell whats real and whats not." She looked at me like she completely understood the thoughts running through my mind.
"When I found Masako in the Urado case and gave her my key, I told her something. It is easier to believe in something when you're holding onto a piece of reality. Find something to be your anchor and keep it with you at all times. That way whenever you have it with you, its real. When you don't have it, its not." She smiled at me.
That was a really good idea and I don't know why I had never thought about that.
"You have to wake up now." She said as she snaked out of my grasp.
Truthfully I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay here. She was happy and with me. In this place my pride was almost non-existent. I could do whatever and say whatever I felt with no filter, and it was liberating.
"You have to find me. I'm running out of time." Her words snapped me out of my trance. I couldn't find you during your nightmare because I was too weak. Its taking all my energy to be here now. Its getting harder to hold on. Sometimes when I fall asleep it feels like it would be easier to let myself fade. I dint know..."
"Mai?" Her words filled me with dread.
She just admitted she was thinking about giving up. I couldn't handle the pain of losing her again. I placed my hands on her head and lightly kissed her forehead. I looked down at her face to see her blushing bright pink.
"Can you do something for me?" I asked placing my hand on her cheek. "Keep fighting until I get there. Until I am next to you fight hard. Don't let him win. I promise I will make him pay for all of this." My voice turned dark and threatening.
"I promise." She said as I was ripped away from her.
...
I bolted up not knowing where I was.
"She's alive." I spoke quietly to myself. "She's still alive." I said louder catching Lin's attention.
He quickly came over to where I was sitting. Remembering what happened between us I retreated from him and composed myself. My pride was back to normal and I was greatly embarrassed for my actions from earlier, and even more for how stupid I had been to believe that was a vision. I stood up once I was sure I had regained my composure.
"Call everyone to meet here in an hour." I told Lin.
"Its 3:30 in the morning."
"I don't care. We have to tell them what's going on. Tomorrow we find Mai no matter what." He didn't question me. Instead her turned around and went to make calls.
The fact that she was still alive was enough to give me hope that I could keep my promise.