Sorry I'm so late; I was visiting my grandparents, and they don't have Internet.

Please enjoy anyway! :3

Caitlin's P.O.V.

I let Itachi and Kisame into the room I'd be staying in – not sleeping – and swallowed nervously. Sure, I'd told Shylah that I didn't mind anyone except for Zetsu, but the only pair I could think of that'd be worse than Itachi and Kisame was Kakuzu and Hidan. Admittedly, that only left Deidara and Sasori – who wasn't a cuddly teddy bear by any means -, but come on! Itachi was intimidating in a really quiet, kill-you-in-your-sleep way, and the only ones besides the Akatsuki who weren't immediately scared of Kisame were Shylah, Mischa, and Emi (two of which have questionable levels of sanity). I wasn't going to make them go away, but I definitely wasn't going to enjoy this.

"You guys know what you're gonna do, right?" Hopefully I don't offend them and make Itachi try to feed me to Kisame. Wait, doesn't Kisame like fish, not people? Wouldn't that make him a cannibal? But then again, sharks eat fish, so it's not that unusual. Why am I even thinking about this? I don't know anymore!

"Hn."

"We're here to keep the big, bad boogie-man away from the gaki," Kisame joked, hefting his sword – Samehada.

I don't know what gaki means, but… "I thought you guys had a strategy. And just because I don't know what a word means doesn't mean I don't know when I'm being made fun of!"

"Hn."

Kisame frowned at me. "How do you not know what gaki means?"

At the last second I remembered that we had to make it seem like we could naturally speak Japanese – which we couldn't actually do, unless you're Emi, Tiamat, Reia, or Shylah. "I've just- I don't- sh-shut up!"

"I thought it'd make sense, since you hang out with Deidara. Deidara is Sasori's gaki, and you're Shylah's gaki." So it probably means 'bitch'. Good to know people think I'm Shylah's bitch; I thought that was Mischa's job.

Hey, wait a second… "What about your plan? You keep not saying whether or not you have an actual plan for this thing!"

"Hn."

Kisame glanced to Itachi, a grin forming on his face before he turned back to me. "We're winging it."

"You're what?!"

(Five Hours Earlier)

"You're what?!" Deidara exclaimed, switching between glaring at Shylah, Itachi, and myself like he couldn't decide which of us was more at fault. "So Neko's in danger and you're leaving it up to the Uchiha, hm?"

"And me," Kisame interjected, smirking when he noticed that Deidara was more concerned with Itachi. Something told me he thought Deidara's grudge was hilarious.

"Yep, pretty much," Shylah replied in her typically sensitive manner. "If it makes you feel better, I asked for you instead of Kisame."

"What does everyone have against me?" Kisame asked, almost-but-not-really pouting because that wasn't the thing S-ranked criminals did, especially when they're also ninjas.

"I was concerned that you wouldn't take protecting Caitlin seriously."

For his part, Kisame managed to look scandalized and a little hurt. "I take all my missions seriously, especially compared to Deidara!"

Deidara, meanwhile, was ignoring their side-conversation. "But you still asked for the Uchiha! I'd think you'd nominate Sasori no danna since you hang out with him so much, yeah! There's no way I'd ever work with the Uchiha."

"Two long-ranged combatants in a close-quarters situation against a close-ranged fighter in a possible hostage scenario? I think not. That's why I picked Kisame and Itachi over you; this mission needs Itachi more than it needs you, and according to Pein-sama, everyone needs to stay in their respective teams unless someone dies. As Kisame is still alive, that's impossible."

"Thanks, Shylah. I'm really feeling the love," Kisame joked from beside Itachi. Through all of this, Itachi was reading a book and staying out of the arguments. I decided to follow his example because it's usually best to do what the smart one does, and the other smart one was currently arguing with Deidara.

"You're welcome," the 'other smart one' replied helpfully.

"But choosing the Uchiha over me, un!"

Shylah did something I'd never seen before – she got frustrated. Throwing her hands above her head, she let out an exasperated groan. "What do you want me to say, Deidara? That I like Itachi more than you? That I think he's better than you? No! I chose the freaking Uchiha because the freaking Uchiha's skills are a better freaking fit for killing a guy we know almost nothing about! I asked for you, but Pein-sama wants you guys to stay in your assigned teams! And now that you're putting up a huge freaking fuss, I've decided that both Itachi and Kisame are the better choice because I can trust them to be more mature than you! So there! You happy?"

We all stared at her in silence before Deidara's face broke out into a slow, teasing smirk. "But you chose the freaking Uchiha over me, un!"

"Gah!" Shylah exclaimed, pulling at her hair as she walked out of the room without a second look. Deidara will deny it if you ever ask him, but I think that's the moment when he started purposely annoying Shylah. You have to admit, it's kind of funny when she gets mad enough to want to swear but keeps trying to censor herself.

Tracey giggled from her spectator's seat next to me. "That's why we can't have nice things, Deidara."

"Actually, I believe it's because of Deidara's unhealthy obsession with blowing things up." Itachi contradicted.

I laughed for a second before stopping mid-chuckle. Did Itachi just make a joke? No, it had to have been serious. Right?

No one else seemed conflicted about Itachi's maybe-joke, if only because Deidara was in the middle of reaching into his clay pouch and glaring at said Uchiha. "I'll show you an unhealthy obsession," he muttered darkly. As he released the clay creation, several things happened at once.

Kakuzu entered the room just in time to say, "Not in the living room." Tracey shrieked as Emi gasped and I turned to leave. Itachi and Kisame leapt into action, Itachi grabbing Tracey while Kisame grabbed both Emi and me. They ran past Kakuzu and out of the room as Deidara yelled "Katsu!"

The blast filled the halls, pushing Itachi, Kisame, Kakuzu, and the rest of us into the walls. For once, I was thankful for Kisame's size because it kept Emi and me both safely out of reach of the cold, hard, unforgiving wall.

When Kisame set us down, I stood in a daze before coming to my senses. I stalked over to where Deidara was cackling like a madman at his art and grabbed his ear, yanking his head down the short distance it took to make equal eye contact. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!" I yelled, ignoring his wince and the intimidating presence of Kakuzu behind me. "Tracey, Emi, and I could've died! You keep complaining about how Shylah picked Itachi and Kisame to protect me, but just now you were doing the exact opposite! If you weren't already disqualified from taking that mission, you sure as hell are now, 'cause I'm not leaving my life in your suicidal hands!"

I whirled around and stalked out of what used to be the living room just as Tracey poked her head in the doorway. "I'm suddenly happy our rooms are on the other side of the hideout." There was a resounding thwak behind me, and Tracey winced sympathetically. "Hey, Itachi, are you gonna keep Kakuzu from beating the crap outta Deidara?"

"Hn."

Kisame nodded like Itachi had just said something completely logical, instead of a monosyllabic grunt. "In a little while. We won't let Kakuzu kill him, but it's better to leave Deidara to Kakuzu and not Leader-sama."

Tracey nodded. "I think I'm starting to get the hang of 'Itachi-nese'; I could almost tell what he was saying."

I groaned. Tracey's now treating Itachi's grunts as his own personal language. I swear, we're all doomed.

Mischa's P.O.V.

Grinning, Tobi and I started ripping up the used toilet paper rolls we'd been collecting. Okay, when I said that Tobi was grinning, I didn't actually know – it was just a feeling I got. It wasn't that hard to assume, since the occasional giggle would slip out from underneath his mask.

Just as we were holding the ripped toilet paper rolls under the running sink water, the sound of an explosion ripped through the hideout. I jumped and let out an unmanly squeak – not that I should be concerned with seeming masculine, but it seriously sounded like a little girl. A tense silence permeated the room as we waited with baited breath for signs of a battle. "Do you think we should check it out?"

Shaking his head, Tobi hummed a little tune and continued holding his toilet roll pieces under the sink. "Nope; it's probably just Deidara-sempai practicing his art." He hopped from foot to foot excitedly as the thin cardboard he was holding turned into a soggy mush. "It's ready, Mischa-chan! What do we do now?"

Grinning mischievously, I held my own mushy substance up and let out my best super-villain laughter. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!" There were a few seconds of silence, and I smiled sheepishly at Tobi. "Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Okay, now we just smoosh them together like this, and presto! Fake poop."

Tobi made a sound of squeamishness as he beheld his own fake doodoo. "Don't worry, Tobi. It's not real, and it doesn't leave a bad smell or anything."

"It's gross."

Leading him out of the bathroom and back into Deidara's room (our first victim), I wrinkled my nose. "Yeah, it is pretty gross. Where do you wanna put yours?"

Tobi's mood suddenly did a one-eighty, and he skipped through the room until he found a spot he was satisfied with. "Here's perfect for my present for Deidara-sempai!" He decided, placing his wet cardboard carefully on top of Deidara's pillow. "Do you think he'll like it?"

I suppressed a smirk at the thought of Tobi as a schoolgirl putting a love letter in her crush's locker. "He'll love it," I assured him as I exited the room, Tobi in tow carrying several more batches of the wet paper rolls. "Who next?"

"Hmmm…" Tobi adopted an exaggerated thinking pose. "Who are we allowed to prank, again?"

"After Deidara, there're Tish, Caitlin, and Tracey. We could probably prank Tiamat, Emi, Reia, and Shylah, too; but that's not a good idea, 'cause I don't want my sis mad at me and Emi's always off-limits." Shuddering involuntarily, I turned to Tobi with haunted eyes. "You don't want to know what a prank war's like when Shylah and Tiamat team up, anyway. It's scary. Like, 'vengeful former best friend who used to be super-fun to hang out with but is now spending time plotting your slow, painful death' scary. Or 'you just broke my new, expensive video game' scary – the worst kind of scary there is."

"You play video games, Mischa-chan?"

"Sure I do! They're more popular where I come from, and there are all kinds of video games! I've played every type of video game there is to play, and they're really fun. Sis and I play them whenever we can." My face fell as I remembered where I was. "Too bad the only kinds of video games here are really old-school. I'd have so much fun playing co-op games with you!"

"You'd want to play video games with Tobi?"

I stopped myself just before I rolled my eyes. "Of course I want to play video games with you, Tobi. You're like my bro! I always have a lot of fun when we hang out, so why wouldn't I want to play something as awesome as video games with someone as awesome as- … Someone as awesome as you!" I finished cheerfully. Inwardly, I was trying not to freak out. Crap! I totally just almost called him by his real name! I hope he's not suspicious.

"Aw~! Mischa-chan's so sweet!" Tobi exclaimed, throwing his arms around me in a hug before I could react.

"Tobi, the cardboard!"

"Oops. Sorry, Mischa-chan, I guess I got a little carried away." Tobi pulled away to look down at our now wet-cardboard-stained shirts. "Eheheh, I don't think we can use this anymore."

I shrugged, letting out a laugh. "It's no big deal. I guess we could find a way to reuse it somehow if we really wanted to, but I'm feeling kind of lazy right now. We already pranked Deidara, and that's good enough for me." I skipped ahead of Tobi a few steps. "Can you think of anything you wanna do?"

"Hm… Let's go see what Deidara-sempai's doing!" Tobi suggested, pointing dramatically in the direction of the explosion from earlier. He suddenly sprinted off towards the entrance, leaving me to run after him in his exuberance.

I groaned – I really don't like running – but ran after him anyway. After a few seconds, I remembered that there was currently mushy cardboard on my shirt, so I started brushing it off. Let me tell you, the feeling of wet cardboard is not something I find extremely comfortable.

The scene we happened upon was of a nearly-destroyed living room, where at the center a battered Deidara was playing a dangerous game of cat-and-mouse with a seriously fuming Kakuzu. Just outside of the room, Itachi and Kisame were patiently waiting for the time when it would be acceptable to help Deidara out. At least that's what I hope they're doing; they could just be watching Deidara suffer, although that's a little sadistic for Itachi.

Tobi, meanwhile, definitely wasn't going to wait to save his 'sempai'. Yelling his trademark "Tobi is a good boy!", he entered the fray, only to be kicked back out by Kakuzu. Well, at least Kakuzu doesn't discriminate.

I rushed over to where Tobi lay, dazed and confused. "Tobi! Are you okay?" I queried worriedly, furrowing my brows. Placing a hand on the top of his head (because I couldn't put it on his face), I crouched down to eye level. "Did you hit your head? Should we call an ambulance? Oh, wait, you guys don't have those here."

Tobi groaned, leaning forward. "Kakuzu-san's kicks really hurt." Suddenly, he jumped up and leapt at Kakuzu, managing to take him by surprise and tackle him to the ground. "Run, Deidara-sempai! Tobi will hold him off!"

"Tobi," Kakuzu growled as his quarry got away, "get off. Now."

As if a switch had been flipped, Tobi immediately stood and straightened. He gave Kakuzu a stiff, albeit comical, salute. "Hai, Kakuzu-san."

When he got back up, Kakuzu whacked Tobi over the head before stalking after Deidara. "Kids have no respect for their elders these days."

I swear, if he says 'I'm too old for this', that would make my day. He didn't.

Tiamat's P.O.V.

This time, when I'd gone drinking I made sure not to actually drink any alcohol. There was no way I'd willingly incur Kakuzu's anger a second time via the same method. No, I would much rather stay sober and fully in control of all of my cognitive faculties from now on.

It was with those thoughts that I reentered the Akatsuki headquarters. I had no doubt the members of the organization, as intimidating, high-level criminals, would be thoroughly scandalized (or at least exceedingly irked) to hear some of my friends refer to it as a 'base' or 'hideout'. Something as serious as a criminal headquarters shouldn't be referred to in such childish terms – not that criminals necessarily deserved such respect, as they weren't law-abiding citizens.

I passed through the building without sparing anyone or anything a second glance as I made my way to the library. Ever since I'd obtained my job and begun working until the evening began, I had been returning far too late in the day to catch Kakuzu organizing the Akatsuki's finances. It didn't matter, though; I went to the library for a quiet place to read and not to mingle with killers, just as Shylah disappeared to maintain some feelings of solitude or Reia spent time in the greenhouse in order to tend to the plants there.

Imagine my surprise (mild though it was) upon entering when I was greeted with Kakuzu's stewing visage. He wasn't cooking; 'stewing' is a term used to describe an individual in as state of extreme agitation, in the event that one of the readers is unaware of the terminology. I digress – it was unusual to see him in the library at this point in time, and raging mad at that.

"Good evening," I greeted as I picked up my book from the previous day and proceeded to finish it. I refuse to say infidel, I thought, chastising my suddenly wandering mind as it brought up a random quote I'd heard often from Mischa and Shylah.

Kakuzu nodded his head in greeting – not enough for it to be mistaken for a bow, but in a way that was still clearly discernible. "Deidara decided it would be a good idea to practice his jutsu in the living room."

I see. "Did that end well for him?" I imagine not, but it is polite to ask.

"No." The statement was made with such finality, it wasn't difficult to imagine Kakuzu having something to do with it. There was a short pause. "All of the furniture has to be replaced."

"That does sound problematic." Wait a moment… "Does that include the coffee table I replaced?"

"Yes."

"That insolent-" I cut myself off before I ended up saying something… inappropriate. "He clearly doesn't appreciate the value of these objects, or he wouldn't have been so callous as to destroy them. Clearly, he needs to be taught a lesson in economics." And respect.

A downright evil glint entered Kakuzu's dual-toned eyes. "It's already done," he informed me, his voice taking on an almost gleeful tone of sadism. I suppressed the twinge of satisfaction I received from the news, and if Kakuzu noticed he gave no sign of it. "Now I have to buy the furniture," he muttered mournfully.

Hesitantly, I reached out an arm to pat his shoulder comfortingly. He gave no sign that he noticed, and I was exceedingly uncomfortable at the physical contact. When I felt that I had conveyed my sympathies to a proper extent, I retracted my hand and returned to my book. We both remained silent for several minutes. "If you tell no one that I comforted you, I won't tell anyone that you accepted it."

"Sounds good," he agreed, nodding.

Emi's P.O.V.

Covering my mouth, I stifled a small laugh as Tracey huffed in exasperation. Kisame, Itachi, Sasori, Deidara, Tobi (somewhat), and Hidan were repairing the living room while Kakuzu sorted out their finances in the library. At the moment, Tracey was trying to coordinate their work (not that they needed her to tell them how to build a house), and Kisame was teasing her about what, exactly, the water-proof plaster was supposed to be used for.

"So I just spread it all over the walls and ceiling? What about the floor?"

"No!" Tracey shouted, gesticulating wildly. "It's supposed to repair the holes in the walls and ceiling, not cover the whole thing! You'll ruin the paint!"

Kisame laughed while Sasori fixed him with a glare from his place nearby. "Kisame, quit teasing the girl and get to work. You're taking far too long for a ninja of your caliber." Sasori paused to look behind him, where Shylah was sitting on his back and reading a book. "Get off me, brat."

Shylah sighed, but complied. "There's nowhere else to sit."

"Use the floor; I'm not your personal chair."

Shylah nodded as the logic of what he was saying dawned on her. "That you are not. You're far too uncomfortable for me to use you as my personal chair; maybe an improvised one, though."

Deidara smirked from his position on a clay bird. "Oi, brat, quit arguing with Danna and let him do his job, yeah."

"You can't call me a brat; I'm pretty sure I'm older than you." Shylah quipped, rolling her eyes. "You have no authority over me."

"Danna calls you brat, so I can, too, un."

"That's the only time he's called me brat, and by that logic I can call you that as well. So there, brat. Get back to work."

"Both of you stop acting like children and let me work in peace," Sasori cut in.

Shylah smirked at him. "Just putting the 'child' in his place." Flipping the pages in her book, she sat on the ground next to where I stood. "Kids…"

I giggled again when Deidara rolled his eyes and returned to fixing the ceiling. Suddenly, I was lifted off the ground. I shrieked, then reddened in embarrassment when I realized that Kisame had picked me up and moved me away from the wall I was leaning against. "Please warn me, n-next time. I w-wasn't ready for that."

Kisame smirked before doing the same to Shylah, who whacked him over the head with her book before realizing who it was. Thankfully, Kisame didn't seem perturbed by Shylah's subconscious reaction to physical contact. "Oh, hey, Kisame. Warn me next time, will ya?"

"Wasn't Emi's scream enough of a warning?" I squirmed, feeling my blush deepen.

"Obviously not," Shylah replied, mirroring Kisame's smirk.

Meanwhile, Mischa and Tobi were having their own problems. Mischa was actually helping out (and so was Tish, because she'd take any excuse to stave off her boredom), and was currently perched on a precariously swaying ladder. It probably would've been stable, but Tobi continuously tripped over buckets and supplies, which always somehow sent him flying into the ladder.

"AAAGH! Tobi, calm down! Stop for a second. Just-just stop." Mischa tried calming him down, until he smashed into the ladder more forcefully than before. She slipped off, grabbing onto one rung just before she started falling. "Gah! Tobi, help!"

Tobi raised his arms, holding them out to her. "Jump, Mischa-chan! Tobi will catch you!"

Shylah sighed. "Is my sister seriously getting told to trust an S-ranked criminal?" We watched as Mischa looked at Tobi in a considering manner. "Sis, bad idea."

"Mischa-chan can trust Tobi! Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi called up, waving his hands encouragingly in the process.

"Come on, Mischa, you can't seriously be about to trust an S-ranked missing-ninja," Shylah called. It didn't seem like Mischa had heard her older sister's quiet voice.

Mischa gave Tobi one last appraising look before replying, "Okay." She dropped down, making Shylah gasp. At the last second, Tobi caught her, and she laughed. "My hero!" She exclaimed, hugging him.

Shylah sighed. "I'll lecture her later. Right now I'm going to focus on the fact that, in the time it took Tobi to convince my sister to jump, she could've easily swung herself back onto the ladder. The things my sister does when logic would be so much easier – and safer." With that, Shylah shook her head and returned to reading her book.

Kisame walked over to me, so silently that I wouldn't have noticed if his shadow hadn't fallen over me. "Or Tobi could've just used his chakra to walk up the wall and help her back onto the ladder. The ground isn't that far away, either; she would've survived a fall if she remembered to roll."

"Logic isn't for everyone, I guess," Shylah muttered from the ground beside me.

Caitlin's P.O.V. (Back to Present)

"So let me get this straight. Shylah hired you – as in, actually dished out her own money to pay you – to protect me, because someone wants to kill me; and you're winging it?!" When Kisame nodded – still grinning, because he apparently doesn't see anything wrong with this -, I gripped my hair with my hands in frustration. "I'm going to die. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the last day of my life. No longer will anyone by the name of 'Caitlin Maurine Keir' exist in this world. I'm doomed, I tell you! Doomed!"

"Wait, you have three names?" Kisame asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Don't you?"

"No. Most people only have a given name, and maybe a clan name or a second name they gave themselves. Why would we need a third?"

I paused, my hands releasing their death grip on my hair. "I… don't know… Why do we have middle names?" Running to the door, I threw it open and called down the hall. "Shylah~!" Kisame smirked, and I held up a hand in the universal signal to either stop or wait. In this case, it meant to wait.

After about a minute, when I was just going to yell again, Shylah turned around the corner. "What, Caitlin?" She huffed irritably.

"You sure took your sweet time."

"Well excuse me for not being at your beck and call. Now what did you need? Or should I just leave?" Shylah fixed me with a withering stare.

"Okay, okay. Why do we all have middle names?"

Shylah raised her eyebrows, the rest of her face remaining almost statue-like. "You yelled at me for that?"

"Just answer the question!"

"It was possibly a result of aristocrats naming their children after people of power or great respect. After a while it would've been adopted by those of lower classes in an attempt to either emulate them or prove themselves equal. No one actually knows the real reasons middle names were invented, but it's possible they were used to denote lineages, places of import in their parents' lives, or to distinguish children who were named after their parents." Shylah shrugged noncommittally at my stare. "What? You're not the only ones who've wondered these things."

Just then I remembered what I'd been so stressed about, and I whipped my arm to point an accusing finger in Kisame and Itachi's general direction. "They're winging their mission to protect me!"

Shylah locked eyes with me and held my gaze for a few seconds. "It was nice knowing ya'," she assured me before turning and leaving.

"What? I might die and that's all you have to say? Shylah! Shylah, get back here!" I yelled out at her. When I rushed to look out of the door, she was already gone. "Fine, be that way!" I slammed the door and huffed, crossing my arms.

Suddenly, Kisame was beside me, leaning against the wall. "Relax, we've got this covered. I was just joking; we have a plan." At my incredulous stare, he drew himself up, looking offended. "You really think we wouldn't take this seriously? Underestimating the enemy is how people die. We're getting paid to keep you safe; we're not going to let you die."

Well, I guess I do feel marginally reassured.

"That and I really don't want to risk Emi refusing to cook for us because we let this serial killer murder you," Kisame added, effectively squashing all fuzzy feelings I'd been having for the duo.

"Gee, thanks. I can feel the love."

Kisame smirked. "Hey, that's my line."

"It's mine, now! It likes me better." It knows I'm awesome.

"I'm hurt that you'd say that," Kisame replied, looking not hurt at all.

Despite all my protests, I fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow. Okay, not the second I laid down, but pretty soon afterwards. Which was kind of pointless, because at midnight I was awakened by the sounds of someone getting punched into a wall. I didn't know that at the time, since I was still half-asleep and it was pretty dark, but I figured it out after a few minutes.

Because it was dark, I didn't know what was going on – just that people were fighting, and I was most likely about to be hit by- Oh, my lord, great balls of fire!

… See what I did there? Because it was a giant fireball, and there's a song that goes-… Never mind…

Where was I? Oh, yeah, I was describing how hard it was to see Itachi and Kisame fight the dude – I assume it was a man – because the lights were off and it was the middle of the night. After the flaming ball of death, in which I saw Kisame and Itachi looking badass and the other guy looking like the scared little psychopath he is, the room was once more cloaked in darkness. I could still hear the sounds of fighting – mostly Kisame swinging Samehada around and probably shredding the very innards out of whoever was trying to kill me. After maybe two more seconds, there was a pause, and light flooded the room.

I threw up my arms and whined. "Please don't kill me!"

"Do you really think we are so weak as to have been defeated by a mere B-ranked nuke-nin from Iwa?" Itachi inquired, not really seeming to care but managing to convey his displeasure all the same.

Iwa… Iwa… "Where have I heard that word before?"

"Iwa, better known as 'Iwagakure', is Deidara's village of origin," Itachi informed me before visibly showing signs of lapsing back into his silently stoic self.

"Oh. To answer your question, it was more of a reflex than anything else. Usually when people abruptly turn the lights on and I'm still in bed it's because I played a prank on Shylah, Tish, or Mischa and they've come for revenge." I gave an involuntary shudder at the memories. "Shylah somehow knows about psychological torture, and Tish knows all my weaknesses."

"What about Mischa?" Kisame asked, sounding more amused than anything else. It's serious! They'll kill us all!

"She usually gets Shylah to pay me back. Shylah doesn't usually seek vengeance unless it's for her sister." Another shudder.

"Out of curiosity, why do all of you sometimes act like strangers and other times act like lifelong friends?"

Thinking about it, I frowned. That is kinda weird… "Well, Mischa and Shylah have known each other for their whole lives. I've known Tracey since I started grade school, and she'd already become friends with Tish the year before. Tracey met Reia about five years ago, when Reia's parents were visiting a museum on business and they put Reia in the public school for a few months. They kept in contact after she left, and Reia met Emi and Tiamat a year later. Emi and Tiamat lived in the same city, but they hadn't met until then. Three years ago, Reia met Shylah and, by extension, Mischa. Last year Reia came up with the idea for us all to move in together – except for Tiamat – because Tracey's and Tish's home lives weren't too good, and we all wanted to meet in person."

"What about the rest of you? Why did everyone else want to move in together?"

"Reia was tired of travelling across the world and not being able to stay in one place for long, Emi's first friend was Reia, Shylah wanted an excuse never to see her mom again, and Mischa would probably follow her sister to the ends of the earth. I… didn't want to be left behind."

Out of nowhere, Tracey had flung herself onto me in a tackle-hug. "Aw, we'd never leave you alone, Cat!" I craned my neck to look at her, and caught sight of literally everyone else – minus Pein, Konan, and Zetsu – filing in through the doorway. "It's great to see that you're okay, by the way! I would've been really mad if they'd let you die!"

Shylah snorted. "Yeah, for all of two seconds before your brain cracked from the force of acting so out of character."

Tracey turned a pouting face to Shylah. "Don't be so mean, Ice!"

"Some people would consider it a compliment to be told that they can't hold grudges."

Immediately, Tracey's face brightened. "Oh. Well, okay, then. Thanks!" She skipped over to Shylah and enveloped her in a warm hug.

"Of course, those people were never told this by me."

"Shhh. We've having a moment. Don't ruin it," Tracey soothed, either missing or ignoring Shylah's disgusted expression.

Deidara walked around their little snuggle-fest – unwilling that it might be – and inspected me minutely. Now, when normal people do that, it's uncomfortable and slightly irritating. Should you ever have the misfortune for a ninja to inspect you minutely in his own terms, it will feel like they've sliced you open on a dissecting table and are currently memorizing the very structure of your DNA. It made me feel very naked in an incredibly threatening way that I never again wish to experience.

After said minute inspection, Deidara finally cut it out and spoke. "Did the Uchiha let you get hurt, hm?"

"No, but he did make this totally awesome fireball. It was huge!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms out in a poor attempt to depict the actual size of it.

"That's what she said~!" Mischa sang, making Hidan and Kisame laugh and Shylah smirk. Reia rolled her eyes before turning to her and lecturing her about 'naughty thoughts'. Aside from Emi blushing, no one else reacted.

I smirked at Deidara. "Should I be worried that I just came out of a life-or-death situation and feel totally fine?"

Deidara raised an eyebrow, his smirk widening to a teasing grin. "Considering that you're a civilian and not a ninja, I'd be worried out of my mind, yeah. You've been hanging out with us too long, I think."

Pretending to pout, I frowned at him. "What, you want me to leave?"

"I didn't say that!"

"Context, child. We'll make a ladies' man out of you, yet," Shylah put in, expression totally serious.

Deidara – scratch that, everyone, even Itachi (okay, maybe not Itachi) – raised an eyebrow at Shylah. She returned our incredulous expressions with one of her own. "Okay, you cannot tell me that you didn't think they were flirting just then! Am I the only one with eyes around here? Ninja, use your senses! Gah! I feel so girly when I notice these kinds of things."

Emi patted Shylah's shoulder consolingly. "Maybe you n-need more sleep?"

Shylah looked like she was going to argue, but sighed instead. "Yeah, sleep sounds nice." She caught sight of Sasori, who was just leaving, and sat on his back. "Hi-ho, Silver!"

"I've told you before, this isn't a seat."

"It's your seat. Share!"

"No," Sasori replied curtly, their arguing echoing back as they continued down the hall.

I grinned. "Okay, you cannot tell me that you didn't think they were flirting just then." Everyone else rolled their eyes – apparently jokes this late at night are frowned upon – and turned to leave.

Everyone except for Mischa, Deidara, Itachi, and Kisame, that is. Mischa was frowning at me, her nose scrunched up in disgust. "Ew. Sasori's so old," she chastised before following after everyone else.

I looked at the guys. "So what now?"

Kisame picked up the unconscious ninja and hefted him over his shoulder. "Now we seal his chakra and check the bingo books to see if he has a bounty. If he does, we turn him in and get a nice bonus." Itachi leading the way, they both exited the room, leaving Deidara and me alone in a room that I'd almost been killed in.

"So…" Deidara started, trailing off just as quickly. "See you tomorrow, un."

"Good night," I replied, watching him escape the awkward silence that threatened us both. I inspected the holes in the wall that were caused by the recent fight, and a tremor of fear ran through me. Leaping out of bed, I ran into the hall and towards the comfort of my – hopefully temporary – room in the Akatsuki base.

Stay in a room where I'd nearly died not ten minutes before? Yeah, no thank you.

Aaaayyy! ...Don't ask.

I guess I might as well move my upload days to Sunday instead of Saturday. Sorry if that bothers you, but it's the only way I can think of to not be constantly late.

Question: If you lived in the Naruto-verse, what element would your chakra be aligned towards?

My Answer: I took a handful of quizzes a while ago, and all of them except for one said that I'd have water-type chakra. Water is my favorite element (or molecule, depending on how you look at it), so I actually got what I was hoping for while simultaneously answering honestly. :3

Hmm... I can't think of anything to say, so I'll just say bye and have a nice week!