Disclaimers: Naruto is someone else's, this is purely a fanfic using someone else's characters.

Warnings: This story includes strong language, graphic adult themes, violence, angst, a good friend, and eventually yaoi love. Please check chapter warnings.

Hard to Read:

Chapter 1

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Sai didn't know much about emotions, social cues- all of those pesky things that people were supposed to just know when someone wasn't articulating their feelings clearly. He had learned a lot, applied his research to the field- well, mostly to Naruto. Sometimes it was successful, other times the blonde shinobi would lash out angrily. Most of those times, Sai still didn't understand what he did wrong. He just knew he did something wrong. To try to avoid making more errors, Sai began simply studying Naruto. He would compare his observations to the various texts he collected and try to make sense of things that way.

Lately, his findings were.. confusing.. concerning. He had already learned that the emotions people show are not always the ones that they're feeling, but Naruto's emotions seemed.. off.

He went to Sakura to see if she had any answers for him, but she was not very helpful. I don't think she knows Naruto as well as she thinks she does, he thought to himself.

He wasn't sure he should bring it up to Kakashi- he had read somewhere that peer emotions can be personal, only to be shared with another peer. Telling Naruto's sensei might be the wrong choice, and he had already made so many of those. So, he decided to go to the source.

Sai had seen him wandering aimlessly around the village, and had decided to follow him for a while, waiting until they were somewhere private. Naruto had stepped over to a quiet area on the edge of the forest and, after checking to be sure that they were alone, Sai decided this was the best place to approach him.

"Naruto..?"

The blonde shinobi seemed surprised. He should have been able to sense me following him, easily. Naruto is far more skilled than this.. so how was I able to catch him off guard?

"Sai? What're you doing here?"

The brunette studied him, trying to decipher his emotions and thoughts. He wanted to read him, but it was like struggling through a book written in a different language. "Naruto- I need to ask you something."

He turned to face him, his eyes.. suspicious maybe? No.. that's not quite right. Hmmm.. he walked towards him and looked closely. Cautious- he looks.. cautious.

Sai didn't know a lot about emotions, but he did know what it meant to be covert. He doesn't want me to read him. Now THAT is suspicious.

"Ok.." Naruto said hesitantly, "ask."

"Did something happen to you on your last mission?"

Sai noticed that Naruto's eyes got a lot wider, and his skin seemed a shade or two paler than usual. He thought back to his books. He recalled reading that these reactions were seen in someone feeling sick or.. scared. Why would Naruto be afraid?

The most logical conclusion- something did happen to Naruto. And he didn't want Sai to know. Maybe he doesn't want anyone to know, he thought.

"Sai.." Naruto started, choosing his words carefully, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Your reactions reflect feelings of fear." Sai stated matter of factly, "I believe that something happened to you. Something you are afraid to share."

Naruto looked away, long blonde hair dropping forward to hide his eyes. Sai felt sure that his eyes would have revealed a deep sadness. Emotional fear and secrecy meant some kind of tragic or upsetting event. Sadness went with remembering tragedies.

Naruto is recalling something that brings him great pain. And he's hiding it.

"You do not have to hide your pain, Naruto."

The blonde's head shot up, eyes wide with shock as they locked onto Sai. They were red rimmed, like he had been crying recently, or he hasn't been sleeping. Or both.

"Why.. why do you think I'm in pain..?" Naruto asked quietly.

"You are not easy to read, Naruto. But even I can see that you have experienced something painful." He took a step closer. "And I think it happened recently."

Naruto chewed on his lip, maybe considering whether or not he wants to tell me.. or to keep himself quiet. I think it might mean nervous too?

"Sai.." Naruto's voice cracked. He swallowed and tried again, his voice strained, heavy with emotion. "Please.. don't ask me that again."

"You are purposefully not answering the question. Which leads me to believe that I am correct. Something happened to you."

Naruto's eyes narrowed. "Sai. Drop it."

The brunette tilted his head to the side as he studied Naruto's face. Anger is a second emotion. It stems from another. Fear. He is using anger to hide fear.

How does one help fear?

Sai walked up to Naruto, noting the unsure step back he took as he did, but Sai moved quickly to carry out his objective. He reached out, grabbed Naruto, and wrapped his arms around him in a fierce embrace. Naruto's whole body went rigid as Sai hugged him. Fear. He's back to fear.

What else did the books say about comforting others?

Oh! That's right!

"It will be ok, Naruto." Sai said, making sure his voice was clear and sure. "I am here for you." He could feel Naruto trembling in his arms and when he looked at his face out of the corner of his eye he could see tears slowly slipping down his face. He rubbed a hand on Naruto's back, another comforting strategy he had read about, and whispered, "you can talk to me, Naruto. I will listen."

Sai thought he had gotten through to the blonde, but that seemed to do the opposite. Naruto suddenly shoved him away. Anger was back. Sai wasn't sure what he did wrong, but it was clear that he had not said the right thing.

Naruto turned away from him, his head lowered. "Please leave me alone, Sai."

The brunette, out of ideas, found that the only thing left to do was respect his friend's wishes. He turned to leave, but only a few steps in he heard a heart-wrenching sob that made him stop. When he looked over his shoulder he saw Naruto crouched down, his hands covering his face. Sai, feeling a rush of what he later determined was guilt, turned and walked away, the sounds of deep grief following, then fading, until finally he had left them behind as well.

Author Note:

I absolutely adore Sai.

That's really all I wanted to say. Aside from that, I just want to thank you for starting this story with me, and I hope you enjoy it :)