You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
When the road looks rough ahead
And you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed
You just remember what your old pal said
Yeah you've got a friend in me
~You've Got A Friend In Me-Randy Newman~
Cordana stood behind the apothecarium and drank the elixir. She did not want Khadgar to know that she was apparently too fragile to make love with him unscathed. It was always the same situation, after the adrenaline wore off she found herself hurting inside, and if he noticed he would feel badly about himself, something she did not want him to feel. Lovemaking was meant to be an act of love and tenderness, but also of passion and energy. It was hardly his fault that she was poorly equipped to handle it. The warden had taken to sneaking out to procure the potions. She closed her eyes as the minty green liquid ran down her throat.
"Cordana, are you alright?"
She turned abruptly and saw Lady Toriona, a soft smile on her lips.
"Hello, Lady Toriona. I am fine, why do you ask?"
"You take a lot of these potions, are your injuries still bothering you?"
Cordana did not know what to say. She loathed being dishonest, but her situation was a private one and not something to be shared with others.
"Might I ask why you believe that I take a lot of them?"
Toriona smiled kindly. "I assist the apothecary a few times a week, gathering the herbs he requires. The herb used in the potion you just took grows slowly and I must gather from different places each time. He mentioned that you were one of the only people to purchase them, and he would not dare run out of the potions required by the bodyguard of the Archmage."
Cordana felt the potion take effect, and the pain subsided. "I cannot allow myself to be compromised in any way. The Archmage depends on me and I do what I must to ensure his mission can continue unimpeded." It was not a lie, nor was it the truth in detail. The good Lady would have to accept it.
"He is fortunate to have you," the Commander's wife said with a smile. "It will take time to heal completely, I was quite surprised at how quickly you bounced back. I see now that it was just your stoic nature that wouldn't allow you to convalesce too long. Cordana, would you like to accompany me on my herbing run? The forests are very nice when the day gets hot."
Toriona never said it to her husband, but she was quite often lonely in the garrison. He spent his time in training with his men, and organizing military maneuvers, and she was often in her office poring over paperwork. She had left behind all of her friends on Azeroth, and missed that social contact. The residents of the garrison, respecting her position, never allowed themselves to get close to her. Toriona imagined that Cordana's life must be similar, guarding the Archmage 24/7 had to be a lonely task at times as well, and the Warden was an enigma of sorts, and Toriona liked puzzles. She wanted to get to know the Kaldorei woman better.
Cordana truly did not want to wander around the forest with the Commander's wife. She was not comfortable in such a situation, nor did she want to be away from Khadgar too long. Toriona seemed to read her mind.
"The Archmage wouldn't leave the Tower or the garrison without you," she said gently. "He is with Jaaral and the mission specialists this morning. Why don't we go and let them know where we are going, and have some quiet time away from this busy place?"
Cordana could hardly argue that last sentiment. The garrison was a lively place and the cool and quiet of a forest was a very appealing thought. There would be nothing worse out there than the odd forest creature.
The group looked up from their maps as the ladies entered the war room.
"My dear!" said Jaaral, extending his arms to his wife. He bent and kissed her gently on the cheek in greeting.
Khadgar gave Cordana a warm, loving smile, but did not go to her. He knew that she would not be comfortable in him showing her affection in front of the mission specialists who were strangers to her. Cordana was not sure she wanted everyone to know that the Archmage and his protector were involved in more than just a purely business relationship, and Khadgar respected her feelings on the matter.
"Hello, Commander, Archmage," said Cordana respectfully, giving Khadgar a slight smile, but her eyes said so much more.
"Is that the Warden?" she heard one of the specialists whisper to his companion.
"I think so," was the reply.
"Wow," was all the man could say, trying not to stare at Cordana. Uncomfortable with the unwanted attention, she shot him a rather intimidating glance and he looked away, suddenly interested in the papers in front of him.
"Jaaral," said Toriona. "I am going to do some herbing, and I am taking Cordana with me. I trust that you and the Archmage will be tied up here for the morning?"
Jaaral nodded. "Indeed we have much to discuss, he and I. Enjoy your time in the forest, my beloved," he said, kissing her hand.
Khadgar wanted very badly to embrace Cordana and kiss her but he stayed where he was, his eyes taking her in and enjoying her from across the table.
"Cordana, you need not concern yourself with me. I shall return to the Tower once my task here is completed. I have work to do there in my study."
She nodded. "Very well, Archmage."
"Why do you speak so formally to one another?" asked Toriona as they plucked and cleaned the herbs they had gathered.
"As a token of respect for our positions," answered Cordana.
"It must be hard for both of you, I can see the affection you have for one another mirrored in your eyes."
Cordana smiled. "It is hard for Khadgar. He is very affectionate and demonstrative. I on the other hand feel that it is best saved for when we are alone. Those outside of us do not need to be a part of our private life."
"I was that way when I first met Jaaral. I was attracted to him, and he to me, but I kept it to myself. It was so strange having a new race among us, a new people to learn about. The more I got to know him, the more my feelings for him grew. Both of us felt the same and neither wanted to make the first move!" Toriona laughed at the memory.
"Having a mate was never part of my plan," responded Cordana, taking another bunch of herbs from the basket, removing the flower heads and setting them aside. "I was devoted to the Enclave and my sisters, and never gave a second thought to the mundane aspects of a relationship."
Toriona tilted her head and looked at the Warden. "As strikingly beautiful as you are, I am surprised you did not have any suitors."
"Thank you. Only my sisters and Jarrod ever saw me without the encounter suit," she responded. "Ego does not matter. Only the mission matters."
"That is a cold and lonely way to live, Cordana," said Toriona quite pointedly.
"One does not need a mate to feel fulfilled, milady," said Cordana respectfully.
The Commander's wife sighed and put her leaves down. "Will you just please call me by my name? I am so tired of the scraping and bowing of people. I am not royalty, my ancestral home is a minor one, and I feel awkward being put on a pedestal all the time. I need a friend, Cordana, one that I can share with and confide in."
The warden was surprised. "No one has ever asked me to be their friend before. I am not sure I possess the skill of how to be one."
This made Toriona laugh. She poured some mead for the both of them and held up her mug in a toast. Cordana had observed that strange human custom before and she imitated the gesture.
"To us!" said Toriona with glee.
"Ok!" said Cordana and drank the mead, wondering why Toriona giggled at her.
"We are bringing the orphanage into the garrison," said Toriona a bit later as they ground up the leaves they had prepared and placed them in the drying racks. "Jaaral said that we can meet the girls you told us about and get to know them, and see if they like us. I am not sure if the human child could relate to Jaaral. She would only have known him as her father's Commander...and that might not be a happy memory for her."
A few days after the garrison Carnival, Cordana had mentioned to Jaaral that perhaps the two little orphan girls she had met that day could use some time away from the orphanage, perhaps with a view to adoption later on. She had not said anything to Khadgar about it, but what he had shared with her regarding the history of the children had hit close to home for her.
Cordana shook her head. "I am not versed in the minds of children. I would think that she would be happy to have a home and parents and be able to have her friend as a sibling. It is better than living in an orphanage or being hired out as a servant somewhere."
There was an edge in her voice and Toriona reached out and touched Cordana's arm gently. "Is this why you wish to help them Cordana? Were you an orphan also?"
The warden was startled by the touch. It was a gesture of kindness and sympathy and aside from Khadgar, no one had ever touched her that way. She haltingly told Toriona about her father and her brother, her servitude in Stormwind, and the Enclave. The human woman was astounded.
"Such things are not done any longer, Cordana," she said. "That must have been a long time ago, children are not sent into servitude. Instead, the orphanages raise and teach them just as a family would. Of course it is not the same entirely, but a child's life is far kinder now if fate deals them a cruel blow. I know the Kaldorei are long lived, it must be a relief for you to know that life is vastly different now from what it was when you were a child."
Cordana sat back and looked at her. Toriona's shoulder length auburn hair was softly curled at the ends, and her grey eyes were kind. Cordana wondered how old she was. From appearances she was younger than Khadgar, who was 50 human years.
"I am over 1000 seasons, " she said. "I do not know what that translates to in human years, but seeing as much has happened since I was in that unhappy position, I assume it is a long time for humans also."
"I really don't know either," said Toriona. "I am 31. Jaaral's people are long lived too. I believe he is even older than you are, but I am not sure. It never really came up in conversation believe it or not. To he and I, ages are numbers that don't mean much of anything. However, we humans are the ones with the shortest life spans of all the races. I suppose that is why we are always in a hurry!"
Cordana had to laugh at that. Humans truly always were rushing through their life. She had often wondered, on observation, if they managed to enjoy the journey at all for their desires to reach destinations they set for themselves.
They continued their work in silence for a few minutes.
"Cordana, why do you not wish to give Khadgar a child?" she asked the question gently, Jaaral had already chided her for her intrusive boldness, but she really wanted to know.
"Children disturb me, and I feel uncomfortable around them," she answered honestly.
Toriona said nothing, but looked at her, knowing there was more to it than that. She was soon rewarded for her patience.
"My people do not favor children of mixed race. Those in such situations find themselves living on the outside of the elven nations, and the children's lives are lived without the benefit and support of the clans. It is frowned upon, and I will not subject any offspring of mine to such a fate. Had I fallen in love with an elven sire, I would still not want children, for this world is a harsh and cruel place and it would be an unkindness to bring a new life into it. As for Khadgar...he has dedicated his life to keeping Azeroth and all her people safe from the Burning Legion in all its forms. This is his life's work, his mission. He cannot be allowed to divide his focus with so many counting on him."
Toriona reached out and squeezed her hand. "It just seems so unfair for one to give their whole life to serving others with no thought to their own desires. At least he has you now, Cordana, and I can see that you make him very happy. I shall not broach this subject again...thank you for sharing your feelings with me. It does give me something to think about also. I have been wanting to start a family with Jaaral for some time, but he wishes to wait. I see now there is wisdom in that way of thinking, with so many orphans needing homes perhaps adopting a few would be a greater blessing to everyone's life."
Cordana allowed herself to think about it a moment. Khadgar was truly fond of children. She wondered if, when the war was over and they had claimed victory, he would bring up the subject with her. He would be sorely disappointed in her response if so. Cordana had absolutely no desire towards motherhood and was sure she did not possess those instincts. This suited her just fine. Besides, wasn't he past the age where one participated in such activities?
Cordana looked over at the Commander's wife. She had asked a very personal question, and fair was fair: if Toriona could ask her such personal questions, she could also do the same.
"Is it true that the Draenei have to take a potion in order to lie with mates of different races?" she asked.
Toriona's eyes grew large, she blinked...then burst into laughter.
"Oh my! I never expected to hear anyone ever come out and just ask that...least of all you! But yes...yes it is true. Without such a potion to bring them down closer to our size, it would not be possible to have an intimate relationship."
Cordana gave her a devilish grin. "I had never been with anyone before Khadgar...and when he told me about the potions I thought he would need one."
Toriona wrinkled up her nose. "Ouch," she said.
"Indeed," answered Cordana.
They sat in silence, completing their work, each lost in her own thoughts.
When Cordana returned to the Tower as she missed Khadgar, she felt slightly different inside. Allowing herself to open up to another person was a positive feeling, and she liked it. Being a friend might not be such a terrible thing after all.