Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Will we remain?
You need a resolution, I need a resolution,
We need a resolution, We have so much confusion.
~We Need A Resolution-Aaliyah~
It didn't work out. The trouble they had gone through to find and battle Kairoz for his essence had not given them the advantage they needed to locate Gul'Dan. Try as he might, Khadgar was unable to locate the warlock, nor find hide nor hair of him.
"I do not like it that he knows who you are and most likely where you are," said Cordana after another failed attempt.
Khadgar lay with his head in Cordana's lap, on the couch in the library.
"We do not know he is aware of our location, my dear," he said soothingly. "You need not worry over that. Keep in mind there are wards all over this area, and I doubt even Gul'Dan could manage to get through all of them unnoticed."
"He needs to be found, and my question is how we can achieve that."
Khadgar looked up at her and raised a hand to gently touch her cheek. "You are such a gift to my life, Cordana. I could not have gotten this far without you. I know I have thanked you before for your support, but I say it again. Thank you."
She smiled down at him and continued to stroke his hair. "I love you, Archmage," she whispered. "There is nothing I would not do for you, even if it means compromising my own beliefs."
"Are all the Wardens this loyal to their causes?" he asked with a smile.
"Only if they love their charges," she said. "To be honest, yes, we are all equally dogged in our completion of our missions, but few of us ever fall in love with those we are to guard. Most are criminals or other sinister characters. I was very lucky to be assigned a handsome and powerful man. If nothing else, you are kind and good, and that is a breath of fresh air after the majority of my charges."
Khadgar curled strands of her long hair around his fingers. "Yet you wished to leave my service, not once but twice!"
"Yes, because I could not properly carry out that service due to my emotional state. I was in love with you, and I had no notion of how to handle it at first. I have never been in love before, Khadgar. It is a puzzling and confusing state of mind."
"Do you still feel that way?" he asked.
"Love will always be a mystery to me. However, I have come to enjoy the experience. I cannot imagine my life without you now. I hope I never will. I truly do consider what we will do once this war is over and we can return to Azeroth."
He raised his eyebrows. "You wish to return to Azeroth? Not remain here with the Draenei people and build a life? Away from the political nonsense of our former lives?"
Cordana shook her head. "This place is devoid of my people. The Enclave is in Darnassus. Why would I wish to remain here?"
"You would continue your life as a Warden of the Enclave?" he asked.
She was confused by the question. "Of course I would! It is all I know, it has been my life for as long as I can remember. Jarrod and my Warden sisters are my family. How could I abandon them?"
"Well I had thought that we would settle down somewhere, if not here, than outside of Stormwind or Dalaran and start a new life."
Cordana frowned at him. "Stormwind or Dalaran, one is a human city and the other a city of mages. I am Kaldorei and not a student of magic. Why would I wish to live in either place? And do what, Khadgar? Become a farmer? Grow corn and beans and sell them at the market? Light knows we will never have children, so I would not need to be confined to a house to raise them."
She wrinkled up her nose in distaste.
Khadgar grew quiet. "You would be the wife of an Archmage. I apologize for thinking that perhaps you wanted a quieter, simpler life after so long as a warrior."
She stared down at him. "What did you say?" she asked.
He gave her an odd look. "I apologized for thinking that..."
She cut him off. "No. Before that."
"You would be the wife of an Archmage? That?"
She nodded. "You are human!" she exclaimed.
"You are Kaldorei!" he imitated her, sitting up.
She shook her head. "Exactly why what you said cannot be, we are from two different worlds, Khadgar!"
He frowned at her. "Wait a moment Cordana! A few minutes ago you were telling me how you were considering what we would do once we could return to Azeroth, how you could not imagine living without me! I am truly confused! The idea of marrying me is so abhorrent to you?"
She shook her head. "It is not abhorrent but...it is not permissible."
He laughed harshly. "By whom? Who is it that can dictate to me who I love and who I can and cannot marry? Would your people proliferate such nonsensical ideas, Cordana?"
She sighed heavily. "Taking a mate from another race is considered an insult to us. That we would do that rather then choose one of our own. Half elven children is another issue that I will not even get into as it does not matter. I do not wish to be isolated from my people."
Khadgar could not believe what he was hearing. "So...in your mind...you would live among your people and I would live among mine, and occasionally we would meet and lie together...is that your idea of our life after the war?"
She nodded. "I thought that was always the plan. We love each other Khadgar, but our worlds ..."
He stood up. "By the light, Cordana! I could never have believed you would think this way! Have you truly lived in isolation all of your life? Have you not seen that the world has changed and grown, that even members of the horde have taken up with my people and yours? That the old ideals have passed on and made way for a new and brighter future? Have you not looked around you and seen this? I love you, and I wish to marry you. I do not wish to live apart and see you only to lie with you! If this is the life you want, then you cannot have it with me!"
She looked up at him, shocked at his outburst. "Khadgar..."
Cordana was not one to cry and never had been. As a child she had learned to keep her tears inside and never let anyone see them. But seeing the pain on Khadgar's face, hearing the disappointment in his voice, her eyes began to sting.
As he saw her eyes widen and dull, Khadgar realized then that Cordana's world had been vastly different from his own. He had seen the world change, had been a part of its ebb and flow, while she truly had lived in isolation. From a sheltered village that kept to itself, to an isolated conglomerate who prided itself on secrecy, Cordana had emerged only to hyper focus on her tasks. She had never even known love. The ancient belief system that had been in place during her formative years had never been challenged, and her mind had existed in a sort of stasis. Until now.
He sat down slowly and took her hands. "Cordana, my love...if I were to tell you that everything you ever knew about the world was no more, would you believe me? If Jarrod himself were to tell you that the old ways have been replaced, would his words hold more weight than mine?"
She looked into his eyes. "Jarrod is Kaldorei. He would never agree to a human mate."
"Are you so sure about that, Cordana?" he asked softly. "He is worldly and wise. Did he not tell you to express your feelings to me? He is well aware that I am human! Would he have done so if he were against such a union?"
His words were true. Jarrod had indeed encouraged her towards Khadgar. "I love you," she said softly. "But I do not know how to be a mate. I know how to be a Warden and nothing more."
Khadgar smiled, tilted her chin up and kissed her. "Everything you do for me now...looking out for me, assisting me, teaching me and loving me...could you imagine a life like this every day, minus the fighting and the stress?"
She nodded with a smile, her eyes no longer prickling. He pulled her up and embraced her tightly.
"That is how I imagine it would be. It does not matter where we live. Truly, Cordana, we could live in a pocket dimension, or a tent on the edge of the sea if that is what you wanted. But wherever it is, I wish us to be together, every day. I wish you to be the first and the last person I see each day, I wish to dine with you, play with you, make love to you...do all those things that everyone has always done, that I never had a chance to experience!"
Cordana rested against him for a long while. "Are you asking me to be your mate?" she asked.
Khadgar chuckled. "I suppose I am. Of course I am not entirely sure what the Kaldorei do in this case. I know my human ways, and we usually give our partner a ring, and ask them formally to marry, then there is the engagement period and finally the wedding."
"That is complicated, Khadgar," she said softly. "We go to the World Tree, Nordrassil, and declare our intentions to one another. It is a lifetime bond, not one to be taken lightly. A promise to see one another through the dark times as well as the days of joy. We ask for Elune's blessing."
He kissed her head. "You do not have to do any of this if you do not wish to. I want you to know that I love you, and never want to be without you. Cordana, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I want you to know how serious I am about you...about us. This is not a temporary arrangement for me, this is permanent. I will not have anyone else in my life."
She lifted her head. "Jarrod is my only family. Would it offend you if I went and spoke to him before I accepted... as a formality? Please understand, I already think of you as my mate, but I would like his blessing just the same. We do not know how long this war will last, nor do we know what will happen during the course of it. But Khadgar...there is no one else in my heart, nor will there ever be. You and no other."
They kissed one another tenderly.
"We really should focus on the mission," she said after a bit. "The sooner this all ends, the better."
Khadgar smiled and nodded. "You are correct. Perhaps we need to go and speak to Jaaral and his mission specialists. I have some ideas and it will require all of their assistance."