Hush now I see a light in the sky
Oh it's almost blinding me
I can't believe I've been touched by an angel with love
~A New Day Has Come-Celine Dion~
The day of the party, Khadgar presented Cordana with a lovely wrapped box. Inside was a dress of deep green, trimmed with pale cream colored fur, with a matching cloak and a tiara comprised of tiny leaves and sparkling stones. There were even satin slippers to go with it.
Cordana loved it, and she thanked him with a sweet kiss, ducking into the bathroom. Holding it up before her, she looked in the mirror happily.
But then she tried it on.
It didn't quite fit her.
She noticed with consternation that she was filling out, their baby was growing and taking up more room inside her and to her at least, it was very noticeable. Light, she thought. How do I make this fit me so it is not so obvious that I am with child? Panic began to set in.
"Cordana," called Khadgar. "Are you alright in there? Do you like your dress?"
"It is lovely, Khadgar. A very fetching color. It reminds me of the forest."
He laughed. "That is why I chose it. Plus, it compliments your dusky skin and hair. I am eager to see you in it!"
She took it off, and turned it around. On the back were a few stays, criss crossing back and forth in a lovely pattern. If she removed them, the dress would expand slightly and possibly fit her better. Oh I hope you don't notice I've altered it Khadgar, she thought as she quietly snipped them off.
With a sigh of relief Cordana felt the dress fall perfectly on her body. Elune be praised, she thought.
Draping the cloak around her shoulders, and setting the tiara in her hair, she presented herself to Khadgar.
"You could not possibly be more beautiful," he whispered, staring at her. "My love, my sweet Cordana, you are magnificent and have stolen my heart once again."
Light, I wish I could tear that dress from you and take you with the voracity of the ages, he thought. Every fibre of my being is a raging inferno of desire and I have no way to quell it.
Cordana was also quite enamored with how Khadgar had outfitted himself. While male fashion was not terribly exciting to her, the way he carried himself, and the elegant lines of his shirt and trousers, put together a picture of a most handsome and noble man.
Cordana allowed him to take her into his arms, and tenderly kiss her. Her heart was fluttering and she felt like an elfling. Control yourself, she thought.
"Shall we depart?" Khadgar asked her with a deep and regretful sigh.
Cordana took his arm and they vanished.
The palace of Stormwind was beautifully decorated with lanterns and decorative flowers. Musicians strolled about, couples and groups came together to speak, and distanced friends were reunited with joyful laughs and embraces.
"It is so beautiful here!" exclaimed Toriona, looking around in wonder. "The Prince has spared no expense it seems!"
They approached the King and the Prince on the dais.
After bowing, Khadgar said "we are honored that you would include us in your celebrations, your majesties. Tell me, what is the occasion?"
King Varian Wrynn looked wryly at his son. "It is the boy's notion that he have a birthday party as large as an army."
Prince Anduin rolled his eyes. "Please father, I am not a boy! I am a man!"
The King shook his head and playfully waved his son away. "A man would not want to make such a spectacle of himself!"
Khadgar laughed. "Oh I don't know about that, your majesty..."
Even Cordana had to smile at that. Khadgar loved attention.
The feast was marvellous, and everyone, even Cordana, ate heartily. However when a toast was prepared for the Prince, she refused the wine.
"Cordana," said Khadgar to her in low tones. "It would be rude to refuse to drink to our host. Your being Kaldorei does not preclude your participation."
Cordana turned and stared at him, her eyes hard. "My being Kaldorei has nothing to do with it," she said through gritted teeth.
"It is a gesture of respect, and you cannot sit here and ignore our customs on a whim. I am not sure what is wrong with you as of late, but I grow weary of it."
Her expression went icy. "Not nearly as weary as I have become of your badgering me about every little thing I do."
She pushed back her chair and left the room while the assembled company toasted the young Prince. The palace was unfamiliar to her and she walked through the hallways first one way then another until she found herself in a pretty courtyard. This too had been decorated with hanging lights. She had expected to find a few people, even servants, but the entire area was silent.
A cold stone bench became her resting place, and she rubbed her belly gingerly. The stress, combined with the changes to her body was causing her some discomfort, and having to hide it from everyone was mentally exhausting. Khadgar, as kind and patient as he was, was only human, and Cordana knew the way she had been treating him was wearing him out. There was no part of the situation in which the Warden could see a desirable outcome for herself. If she told Khadgar about their child, he would become over protective and make things difficult. If she continued to keep it quiet, the stress would put them at odds with one another and potentially damage their relationship, signs of which she was already seeing.
Cordana was lost and didn't know what to do.
"Cordana..."
Khadgar stood in the doorway of the courtyard, everything about him slumped and defeated.
"I behaved inappropriately, and for that I am sorry. Can you forgive me?"
She said nothing and just watched him, taking in the image of the man she loved so much, whose heart she was breaking because she was keeping a secret from him. She began to speak, but he beat her to it.
"For three days, you were not at my side," he began, walking slowly towards her. "When you returned you were different. I have been unable to understand why. I can only come to one conclusion, and that is that someone else has captured your heart. I am asking you, to please tell me truthfully, so that I might end my torment. I love you, Cordana, but I cannot force you to feel the same for me, nor can we continue this way."
She swallowed hard and blinked rapidly.
"There is no one in my heart but you, Khadgar, nor will there ever be."
"I am encouraged to hear it. But you must tell me why then the change in your demeanor. I feared that perhaps you were ill, and ashamed to admit to it, or that you had changed your mind about going to the World Tree, even changed your mind about you and I."
She stood up and faced him. "Stop it, Khadgar! I am certainly not ill, I have not changed my mind about the World Tree nor about our relationship! I was not being intentionally rude towards the Prince by refusing the wine. I just cannot drink it!"
He knit his brows in consternation. "You have had this selfsame wine with me plenty of times in the past!"
She pulled the cloak tightly around herself in frustration and gave an annoyed growl. "Just leave it be, Khadgar. Just know I love you, that is all that matters."
He shook his head. "No, that is not all that matters. When woman I love avoids me in the bedroom, withholds affection from me, will not stand at my side in battle, something is very wrong! Am I wrong to conclude that you have hardened your heart towards me, despite your words to the contrary? That you have perhaps found another?"
"Is that how little you think of me, Khadgar?" she asked harshly. "That a mere 3 days from your side would have me running off into the arms of another sire? That I would sleep beside you, endanger myself to protect you, and profess my love for you, while having a secret dalliance with another?"
He sighed. "No, Cordana, I..."
She cut him off. "Narrow minded human male! Throwing your own weaknesses on others! Such vile infidelity is a human trait, not Kaldorei! While you have been thinking terrible things about me, pondering over your hurt feelings, I have been living in the 9 hells trying to protect our child!"
Khadgar's eyes widened and his jaw dropped in complete shock.
"Yes, you ridiculous old man!" cried Cordana. "I am pregnant with your son!"
With that she vanished completely, and he heard her footfalls in the hallway behind him. Moved to action, Khadgar chased after her in the direction he thought she had gone.
"Cordana! Wait! Please!" he called out.
But the hallways were dark and quiet. He put out his energy, trying to feel her presence, but she was not there.
Had he heard correctly? Did his beautiful Cordana, the love of his life, just tell him she was with child? How was that even possible? Her words echoed in his mind and his heart was racing so fast he was sure he heard the blood speeding through his veins.
Heavy footfalls approached him from a side hallway.
"Archmage? Is everything alright?"
Jaaral appeared and looked quizzically at him. Khadgar stared through him vacantly and the Draenei saw that everything was most certainly not alright but it was not his place to pry. The Archmage gave a small unconvincing smile.
"Yes...yes...everything is fine. Just fine."
Khadgar endured a few more minutes of the party for politeness sake, keeping his energy open, trying to find Cordana. It was unlike her to leave his side for any reason other than when he was working at the Tower. Even then she had asked Jaaral to stay and stand guard for those few days she had been away. For her to completely leave his presence was unheard of and he was very concerned. Her emotional state must be in flux, and that was not a good thing. He could scarcely believe what she had told him.
He was to be a father? How could that have happened? Medivh's terrible curse had destroyed him, turning him to a withered old man at the age of 17. It was only by his own skill and resolve that he was able to regain any of his lost life over time, but he had lived his entire youth as an old man. Now, at 50, he was suddenly rejuvenated enough to father a child? The one thing he believed denied to him, that he desired more than anything was now a reality. But at what cost?
His heart was still racing as he bid farewell to the King and Prince and made good his escape. He had to find Cordana. He was painfully, and fearfully aware that having children was the one thing she had never wanted, and he had reassured her that it could never happen. He had truly believed that. What must she think of him now? Was she angry, did she feel betrayed? Would those feelings cause her to do something truly terrible, something he could not dare to even think about?
He was trembling as he entered the Tower.
"Cordana? My love, please, we need to talk about this!"
Silence met his words.
Where could she have gone? To Darnassus? To Sanctuary? To her sacred grove by the river? Was she alright?
He did not care that it was night time. His logic failed him completely. All he wanted to do was find her and make sure she was alright. But where to start? A Kaldorei with advanced stealth could decide not to be found even when standing behind you. Cordana could have gone anywhere. He needed to think, to plan. Would a scrying spell work?
Despondent, Khadgar teleported to his chambers. He sat down on the bed, his head in his hands. There were those terrible thoughts again. No...she had said she had been trying to protect their child. Cordana was a kind person and would never hurt a child, even an enemy one.
A son.
How beautiful their child would be. Khadgar imagined how it would feel to hold his tiny boy in his arms, to kiss the fuzzy little head. Would he look like Cordana, with the dusky skin and glowing eyes? Would he favor his father and be more human? Most likely he would have a bit of both of them.
Khadgar had been through a lot in his lifetime, and had always been gentle and sensitive. His time with Medivh in Karazhan had taught him how to manage that sensitivity, for Medivh was a harsh, impatient master. But sitting there, wondering where Cordana was, thinking about the child that was growing inside her...tears filled his eyes. Fate had decreed he was to receive a miracle and the Archmage felt unworthy of so great a gift.
Suddenly there was a shift in the energy signature and he knew Cordana had returned. Opening the door and looking out into the darkness of the hallway beyond, he probed with his energy and found her.
He conjured a warm and comfortable place for her to sleep, and a table with refreshments on it.
"Cordana," he said softly. "I know you do not wish to share my bed. I imagine you are angry, disappointed and feel betrayed...but never once have I lied to you about anything. Please talk to me. We need to speak about this."
He was met with silence, but she did not leave.
"I know you never wanted this, and it is torture to know that the one thing that brings the most joy to my life is the one that you cannot abide. But please, my love...don't...end..."
His voice broke, and he closed the door and receded back to his chambers.
Cordana had been standing a few feet away from him. She saw the tears on his cheeks and the luminosity of his eyes. It was time to stop hurting him now. She stood for a long while, wondering just what she would say to him.
Khadgar saw the door open and close. Cordana unstealthed and stood in the middle of the room. The Archmage had been in the process of getting ready for bed, and stood in his small clothes. It was her turn to walk to him this time, and she did so on silent feet. He opened his arms and she pressed close to him, her arms around his waist, squeezing him. He stroked her hair and her back, wanting to hold her tightly, but afraid of hurting her. To him, this strong and confident warrior was now as fragile as wet parchment.
"Let us talk about this please, Cordana," he whispered.
She lifted her head. "There is nothing to talk about Khadgar. You are going to be a father."
He brought his hands down and gently rested them on her belly. "You are sure? We will have a son?" he asked, his voice shaky.
She nodded.
"When...how far along are you?"
"About 3 months," she replied.
He thought about all the things they had done over the past three months and he thanked the light nothing had happened to her in that time. Khadgar gently bent and picked her up, cradling her in his arms and taking her to their bed. He placed her gently down, and slowly, lovingly, removed her dress and all its trappings. Getting in beside her, he pulled the covers up over them both and gathered her close.
"This explains so much," said Khadgar softly. "All those changes you were going through, that was all to prevent me from finding out?"
"Yes"
"But why, Cordana? Why keep such momentous news from me?"
She sighed. "The mission. I did not wish to compromise it further. That is why I refused to go with you to the Foundry although my heart aches to fight."
"So your pregnancy is the reason you have had issues in lying together?"
"Yes, Khadgar. I truly did try. However I was afraid that it might hurt the baby, and that is why I refused to lie with you. Can you understand that?"
He nodded, stroking her gently. "I now also understand your refusal to drink the wine tonight. All of this, everything...was to protect our child."
She murmured her response softly. "Mmhmm."
"Sweet Cordana," he whispered, kissing the top of her head. "All this time I have lived in fear that I was losing you."
She sighed deeply. "I am tired, Khadgar," she said, her voice low. "I am just glad that all of this is out in the open now and you realize how much I love you. Tomorrow we must discuss the assassin and how we plan to deal with her."
"You, my dear, will not be playing with sharp objects and facing off against assassins. I will see that you get plenty of rest and are well cared for, both of you."
She raised her head and looked at him. "I am still your protector, and I remain on duty, on this mission Khadgar. I will not allow it to be compromised any further."
He tenderly caressed the side of her abdomen. "You are carrying my child," he whispered. "There is nothing I would not do to protect you. The tables are now turned. It is I who will guard you."
She shook her head. "I do not think so, Archmage. You will always be the fragile one!"
Khadgar chuckled softly, then lay quietly, deep in thought as Cordana fell asleep in his arms.