A/N: Thanks aryaaa, Grovek26, Mariel, LaughyCamel and roni2010 for your kind reviews in last chapter.
Also thanks for follows and favourites.
**In this chapter I will be dealing with some really disturbing human nature namely 'justifying a crime in the name of payback.' Draco's thoughts in the first part of the chapter are an example of it.
**However, in the later part of the chapter I will be dealing with two most awaited emotions that my patient readers have been looking for, from a very 'common' aspect.
**WARNING: SOME DISTURBING DESCRIPTION OF VIOLENCE INSIDE.
Well I guess that's all and now please enjoy and don't forget to leave a review.
My fiction 'The Poisoned Apple' has been nominated for The Hogwarts award in the category Hermione Romance. It is posted on the site and I would like you to cast your vote on the site under 'vote' tab.
The website is hogwartsawards DOT weebly DOT com **replace DOT with a . The link can also be found in my profile.
For adult theme this chapter is rated M. (HIGH MATURITY)
Disclaimer: The copyright to Harry Potter characters belong to J. K. Rowling. Any other characters are purely work of fiction and any resemblance is co-incidental.
Chapter 54: The Mood That Passes Through Us.
Draco was staring at the spot on floor where Hermione had been lying moments ago.
After the session was over, the sleeping woman had been transported back to her bedroom in her quarter with the help of two of the Château's Elves. Following it, his aunt had left him in the study alone without another word or a backward glance.
It wasn't for the first time that Draco was listening to Hermione's testimony of the pains and sufferings she had been through as an aftermath of her assault. He had seen her struggle with an imaginary Draco Malfoy on the floor just a day after she willingly fractured her arm for Adrian. He had heard her cries through the listening device planted on her dove Gwyn when Hermione had broken down before his aunt Audré when he had erroneously followed her into a restaurant with her eccentric German colleague suspecting her of having a date with Alexis Delacour. He had heard Hermione telling Audré about the bite mark on her neck that Draco himself had planted there to cause as much pain as he possibly could because it was her sensitive spot.
He thought he knew it all.
How very wrong was he!
He knew nothing of the damage he had caused on the soul of this innocent woman.
He knew nothing of the fears she had been through.
He knew nothing of the tears she had shed.
He knew nothing of the losses she had sustained.
And he knew nothing of what really has made her like a poisoned apple.
An apple, that tempted everyone but would poison and kill those who would to dare to come forward and claim it.
Does he have the capacity to absorb the poison that he himself had infused in Hermione Granger?
The rain still pouring relentlessly outside, Draco stood up and attempted to leave his uncle's study. But something about Morpheus's portrait caught him when he was crossing it on his way out and Draco halted in his steps to examine it.
His uncle's looks weren't much different from his father, Lucius Malfoy.
They both had the same long silvery blond hair, grey eyes, pointed chin and nose and other elegant trademark Malfoy features. But it was the eyes that caught Draco's attention most.
It was where these two brothers were remarkably different.
While his father's eyes were always cold and arrogant, Morpheus's were warm and kind; as if he was silently communicating with Draco with his eyes, which though stationary in his only Muggle portrait, were not lifeless, at all.
Draco stood before his uncle's portrait and wondered what would have been his reaction had he discovered that his nephew was a filthy violator.
He would have been mortified. Not like his father who, in Hermione's rightful words, hadn't stopped him when he discovered that Draco was violating a woman.
Had Lucius been delighted on the prospect of witnessing a rape in his own esteemed manor?
Done by own son nonetheless.
Draco knew not the answer, but the question that his father had asked him immediately after he completed the heinous crime.
"Are you satisfied, Draco?" Lucius had asked his violator son as a beaten and wounded Hermione stared at the dungeon ceiling overhead, silent tears streaming down her cheek.
"I am done with the punishment this Mudblood deserved for trying to kill my pureblood mother." Draco had answered with pride, watching Hermione trying to cover her bloodied core with her bare hands from Lucius's eyes that were roving down her naked form.
"Don't worry, Potter's Mudblood." Lucius had jeered at Hermione's attempt to save the last vestiges of her shame, "Lucius Malfoy doesn't indulge in filths like you and had it not been for punishment purpose my son wouldn't even dream of spitting at you." He had said before Bellatrix had taken over the rest of the torture session.
His aunt's words were true.
Draco was born from a monster and was a monster himself. He never realized that Hermione wasn't really intending to kill his mother and instead acted on extreme rage. But that wasn't an excuse anymore for according to Narcissa, even if she did try to kill her, Draco had no rights to violate Hermione.
The date that Hermione still remembers as the day she was assaulted – 29th March – was also one of those days that Draco himself couldn't forget.
Not only because he had committed an unspeakably abhorring crime, but also that he has lost his first ever sexual encounter to someone like Hermione Granger – the Mudblood he had hated all his life.
He had left the woman to be tormented in the dungeon with a lingering feeling of anger, resentment, guilt and agony to climb up to his grand suite in the manor.
Hermione's virgin blood was smeared all around his inner thighs and associated organs. So, Draco had taken a bath to clean up all the mess and donned a fresh set of clothes to return downstairs where his mother was sitting in their Drawing room, ashen faced and completely unaware of the crime her son had done.
"Have you locked her up properly?" Narcissa had asked her, "The Dark Lord will kill us if she escapes." She sounded fearful.
Draco had pondered over the question before answering.
Was Hermione capable of even moving a finger after the brutal beating and rape he had subjected on her?
He has literally used all his forces to subjugate her.
No, it wasn't possible for Hermione 'the Mudblood' Granger to even think about escaping the manor without help from her most wanted friends – Potter and Weasley.
"No, mother, she can't escape." Draco had replied confidently, "She has been taken to the cellar with the other prisoners." He informed her and Narcissa sighed in relief, "Are you alright now? She didn't hurt you, did she?" Draco asked cautiously examining his mother's features to divert his mother's mind off the topic of Hermione Granger, "Where is that bastard Greyback?" he looked around speculatively.
Narcissa sighed deeply, "I don't know, Draco. Bellatrix, Lucius and Greyback had a row where she Cruciatused him and now he has disappeared with his gang." She sounded tired, "I don't know when this madness will end. I don't know when the Dark Lord will find Potter and this war will end. All I know is that my skin crawls when I see him walking around our home as if it is his own." She had fisted her hands, "Had it not been for Lucius and you, Draco, I wouldn't have attended these Death Eater meetings. I don't know how Severus manages to be so cool around the Dark Lord; he looks as if they were almost equal." She grimaced.
"He is the Headmaster of Hogwarts now, mother, and he has always been this way even as our Head." Draco couldn't hide the resentment he had for his once-favourite Head of the House, Professor Severus Snape, "It is hard to tell what is in his mind. You should have seen his face when he killed Dumbledore, mother, he was so calm and composed that he almost rivaled You-Know-Who. Even Bellatrix was berserk with Dumbledore's ill-timed sense of humour when I cornered him at the top of Astronomy Tower. But Snape? No." he shook his head and scrutinized Narcissa's expression if she had suspected her son's real reason for beating about the bushes, "Snape's expression was same all through the ordeal. He didn't even flinch when Dumbledore told him 'Severus, please' and begged his life from him." Draco was sure now that his mother's attention was completely caught at the conversation about Snape, "He is the reason father couldn't be redeemed. He is the reason I couldn't kill Dumbledore and bring back our old glory." He said dejectedly.
"Don't you dare say that, Draco!" Narcissa exclaimed, looking stunned at Draco's proclamation, "Thanks Merlin, Severus killed Dumbledore. Otherwise, you would have been a murderer at sixteen."
"That way at least father would have had his freedom, mother." Draco tried to beat off the sinking feeling whenever Dumbledore's death was discussed, "The Dark Lord is mad at him for this." he tried to be reasonable.
"No parent would want freedom at the expense of their children's life, Draco." Narcissa had gently stroked Draco's hair, "Your father and I, we are still proud of you for not being able to kill Dumbledore. You are our only child, Draco, and Dark Lord or not, I will never let anything bad happen to you." She had promised to Draco.
Now six years later, when Draco looked back at that evening, he realized what his mother had meant.
He has literally killed his conscience when he had touched Hermione with wrong intentions.
He has polluted his own soul when he had ravaged her body.
The body that was still pure.
The soul that was even purer.
And that one act, that one crime had left him crippled before his own self for the rest of the life.
But Draco was a Slytherin and a good one too.
So conjuring some excuses to justify his actions hadn't been very difficult.
And the events that had followed once Dark Lord returned Malfoy Manor had implanted his notion even firmer: that he had done well in assaulting Hermione.
Robbed off his wand, Draco had been seething in rage in their sitting room, where the broken shards of grand chandelier that Dobby had crushed almost upon Bellatrix when he took away Potter, Weasley and Hermione into unknown destination, lay untouched.
"The Dark Lord will be mad." Lucius and Bellatrix had been chanting the same line for last hour, fearful of their fates in the hands of their beloved master, "The Dark Lord will be mad."
"Lucius, please calm down." Narcissa offered her husband a goblet of Odgen's old Firewhiskey, "Here, it will clear your head and cool your nerve."
Lucius cleared the fiery liquid in one go and gave Draco an angry look.
"Why is it that you always fail in anything that is entrusted to you, Draco? First Dumbledore and now this?" Lucius had asked him showing the drawing room in general where Potter had been just an hour ago to save his friend Hermione, "You say you hate Potter and his filthy gang and you couldn't even save your own wand from them? Are you my son or not?" he threw the goblet at the wall where it crushed, "I am completely disgusted by your constant failures, Draco. When is my pureblood son going to do something to uplift his family status?" he demanded.
His nerve frayed from all the incidents that had happened from morning, including the rape of Hermione Granger, Draco was about to retort when Narcissa cast him a warning look and motioned him to remain silent.
"Lucius, what's Draco's fault in it?" she asked her husband, half – angry and half – amazed, "Draco did all he could. He even saved my life from that awful Mudblood girl. What else do expect from him?"
Lucius was about to reply when a high-pitched cold voice resonated across the drawing room.
"Who expects what from whom, Narcissa Black Malfoy?"
Draco shook so violently that he almost fell from the seat he was occupying in a corner.
The formidable figure of Dark Lord approached their little group in prowling gait, his black robes trailing behind him, his snakelike face shining like a skull and Draco stood up to bow before his master.
"No…ootthhing, my lord," Lucius's fearful stammer was clearly audible even at his bowed state, "Narcissa and I were just having some family discussion." He replied on Narcissa's stead who nodded her head as Draco tried to employ all his known Occlumency skills to block his mind against Voldemort's intrusion.
"Risssseee." Voldemort's voice was like whip in the air, "I was welcomed by my kind hearted Nagini," he gave an affectionate glance of his gleaming red eyes at the serpent curling at his bare feet, "and she tells me a magnificent story…" he simpered which looked more like a grimace in his lipless mouth, "Potter came and escaped with his Mudblood friend." He said in a highly amused voice.
Draco didn't know whether he should be surprised at Voldemort's amusement or be frightened of it.
"My Lord!" his aunt Bellatrix cooed at Voldemort this time, "Such false allegations are surely based on of the snake's unfortunate habit to play with your devoted follower's reputation." She commented sweetly, "No one came here." She sounded extremely confident.
For Draco, it took more than one heart to be brave enough to lie shamelessly to Lord Voldemort, the Legilimens master, and Bellatrix was certainly proving to be the proud owner of such malformation.
"Really, Bellatrix?" Voldemort had settled on the throne like chair that was used exclusively by him at Malfoy Manor, "So, according to you, my snake Nagini is lying?" he arched a browless eyebrow at the shattered chandelier on the floor.
"There had been some commotion about a werewolf called Greyback and his filthy gang of Snatchers who claimed that they had caught Potter, my lord, and he came here to claim the prize money." Bellatrix replied so confidently that even Draco felt like believing her version of story, "But Draco checked the unfortunate teenager and confirmed that he wasn't Potter at all." She cast a calm glance at Draco, who knew his turn for questioning was next, "So, I finished his unfortunate soul off, my lord." She smiled contentedly.
"I see." Voldemort was tapping his long, spider like, white finger on his shapeless lips thoughtfully, "Draco, is that true?" he asked him abruptly.
Gulping, Draco nodded, "Yes, my lord." He employed all his known skills of Occlumency, "I saw the teenager that Greyback has brought to hoodwink us. It wasn't Potter." He tried to sound as confident as his aunt, Bellatrix.
Voldemort sighed mockingly and gave Lucius an apologetic look, "I am so sorry, Lucius, I am so sorry." He shook his head sadly.
"Why, my lord?" Lucius asked, unsure but couldn't finish when Voldemort's wand slashed in the air like a whip and in a second, he was hanging from the broken chain of chandelier by his ankle.
"Because, I really can't tolerate it when my loyal followers lie to me." Voldemort hissed and directing his wand at Draco's father, he cast a non-verbal Cruciatus Curse.
Lucius's face was red with stagnant blood and his eyes were bulging in agony as he screamed and screamed and screamed before Narcissa and Draco threw themselves at Voldemort's feet.
"Have mercy, my lord, please have mercy." Narcissa cried while she and Draco begged for Lucius's life from Voldemort, "Please don't kill my husband. I will do anything but please don't kill my husband." She pleaded.
"Really?" Voldemort asked their pleading pair, "You will do anything?" he asked a horrified looking Narcissa, "Oh no, don't worry, I won't touch someone's wife, that too Lucius's, who is precious to me." he smiled at Narcissa who backed away, covering her bosom with her hands and Draco felt a surge of anger course through his veins at filthy comments directed at his mother, "You must therefore, use Cruciatus on your sister, Bellatrix to make me release your husband." He commanded, "Now who will choose? Your husband or your sister?"
As Narcissa gave a skeptic looking Bellatrix a pleading look and removed her wand, Draco was visited by a sudden insane idea.
"It wasn't anyone's fault, my lord, it was mine." He lied flat out hoping against hope that he wasn't caught this time, "They lied to save me from your wrath, my lord. I will tell you the truth now." he said as Voldemort's red eyes left his father and rested on him, "Greyback came with a girl that he claimed was Potter's Mudblood friend Hermione Granger. Mother received them and brought them here." He started recounting the incident that occurred at afternoon, "They called me to identify her but before I could so much as go near to her, she attacked mother and threatened to kill her should she not led her to the front door. I was standing on the first floor landing when it happened and I sneaked behind her before disarming her and taking her to our dungeon to lock her there." Draco skipped the crucial part and rushed for the next incident as Voldemort's red eyes almost bored onto his grey pair, "She was later on moved into cellar with Ollivander and Lovegood girl where one of our disowned house-elves, Dobby, turned up with Potter and Weasley. They attacked us and crushed the chandelier on us before taking Granger and disapparating. It was my fault, my lord; because it never occurred to me that anyone can breach our security. It was my fault because I should have warned my parents about Granger and her love for filthy house elves. I knew that she used to run some crackpot society called 'spew' for house elf benefit at Hogwarts and it completely slipped my mind that house elves can apparate in and out of our manor house while no one can." He explained and Voldemort frowned, "It was my fault, my lord and that they escaped with Dobby's help. Otherwise, we could have re-enforced the security to prevent house-elf apparitions too. That was the reason why father was scolding me when you came in. Please release him and punish me instead." He implored.
At his words Lucius landed unceremoniously on the floor and howled in pain while Narcissa crawled at his aid.
"There now, Lucius, see telling the truth isn't that tough. If you were really devoted as you claim to be, you could have stopped your sister-in-law and son from lying to me." Voldemort commented before resting his eyes on the real culprit, Bellatrix Lestrange, whose lie had landed them in this mess, "And you Bellatrix, I so want to rip your guts out and feed them to my kind snake Nagini for daring to lie to me when you are well aware that Lord Voldemort always knows what happens inside everyone's head. But, I won't for you are my dedicated follower and not a failure like Lucius is. Therefore, I forgive you today with this condition that all of you are deprived of our freedom from this moment on until Potter is caught. Don't take it lightly…" he warned as Bellatrix bowed in gratitude, "…because if it takes me ten years to find him, you will stay inside this manor ten years and serve me as your rightful master." He proclaimed before kicking aside Draco and walking out of the drawing room.
As Narcissa helped a heavily panting Lucius on his unstable feet, one of whose ankle was broken from being hanged down the ceiling by it, Draco too leapt to his feet and proceeded to help his mother.
"Here, mother, let me take father's other arm." He had offered the tearful woman and giving Bellatrix a look of pure venom, they left.
Draco sighed as the memory rewinded itself on his head. Aside from the constant death threats that they received from Lord Voldemort and jeers and taunts from the other Death Eaters, it had taken a week for Narcissa to nurse back his husband to health for she was the only wand bearing Malfoy in the entire household after Potter's escape. Lucius's wand had been taken from him by Voldemort the day he killed Charity Barbage and fed her to Nagini while Bellatrix and Draco's had been taken away from them by Potter and his gang.
Shamefully, it was this rape that kept Draco's resentments at bay making him think that he had damaged Potter in a way by torturing his friend that he can never forget or amend no matter what a big 'Chosen One' he is.
"Granger made me rape her and took my first sex away from me." he had recounted it in his head again and again and again to repress his guilt, "She attacked and tried to kill my mother. She made her cry." he had gritted his teeth, "She made my father suffer this torture. And her friend took my wand away. Raping her was a very kind underpayment." He had thought firmly.
That was the very reason he had been so angry on them when he found them in Room of Requirement searching for some damned tiara in a middle of a waging battle. Draco wasn't willing to give Hermione more attention than she needed and was more concentrated on Potter for he was using his Hawthorn wand. But Crabbe and Goyle's foolishness had ruined everything and instead of being strangled by Potter, he was saved by him on his broom when Fiendfyre devoured everything in Room of Requirements.
To be honest, it was at that moment that Draco had realized that Hermione hasn't told her best friends about her violation. Otherwise, Potter would have left him there to die.
But what now?
What should he do now that he knows that he deserves it?
What was this strange feeling that he was having inside?
This state of worthlessness?
Inadequacy?
Dishonour?
Regret?
This feeling that his whole self is flawed?
His desire to hide himself from all the world and never face Hermione and Adrian again?
Was he mad when he bought her a wedding ring and offered it to her to wear it knowing well that she won't like it?
Was he out of his mind when he suggested that she was wrong in harbouring her love for Alexis Delacour when she was in fact married to him?
Was he off his rocker's when he tried to impress her by wearing blue attire on daily basis?
Wasn't it extreme arrogance on his part when he had insulted Alexis before Hermione during their meeting with the Delacroixes?
Why shouldn't she feel uneasy when he said he would follow her should she not listen to him and wander in the streets after the dark?
Why shouldn't Hermione faint when he suddenly burst into the store room when her Boggart took the form of Vincent Blanchard?
Hadn't she been through enough?
And why was he complaining about the deal he had made with Hermione that cost him his birth right of freedom, home and Malfoy money?
He should be ashamed of his acts and behaviours towards that innocent woman.
He should be ashamed of all those foul words that he had called her at Hogwarts.
He should be ashamed of what he had done to her in the name of punishment.
He should be ashamed of his very existence.
He should be ashamed and ashamed was he.
Draco looked up and found his uncle's painted eyes staring at him.
Now he understood why the man had decided to choose a Muggle portrait over a Wizarding one.
Morpheus was ashamed of his past.
And so was Draco; he was extremely ashamed.
•••••
"Thanks Nostradamus, Jean, you came! I was feeling lonely." Lillian's exasperated exclaim welcomed Hermione when she entered the dining room for breakfast at eight o' clock in Wednesday morning, grasping her uniformed son's little hand lightly.
She looked at the breakfast table and to her surprise found it apart from Lillian and them, empty.
"Maman is tired and asleep. Julian went to office early in the morning. Cousin Draco still hasn't shown up and aunt Narcissa said she will take her breakfast in her suite." Lillian answered automatically to Hermione's puzzled look, "So, I was the only one at the table until you came in with Adrian." she seemed relieved.
"Where is grandma Audré?" Adrian asked Lillian again though she has already provided the answer, "I wanted to tell her my next adventure." He said settling down in his usual chair beside Hermione.
"What adventure?" Lillian asked curiously, "And why to maman only? Why not to all of us?"
Hermione rolled her eyes and tried hard to control her laugh because she has a very clear idea about her son's 'next great adventure' which he had disclosed to her when she was giving him a bath before preparing him for the school.
"Because grandma is brave." Adrian replied simply and took a bite from his chicken baguette sandwich, "She fought and saved me." he referred to the night when the Knights of Walpurgis had stealthily attacked them while returning home from their outing.
Hermione was wondering whether Audré was ill for the elderly woman never slept at night, let alone at daytime for she knew how a good sleep was helping her in having the pleasant feeling that she had been experiencing since waking up this morning.
She has never slept so well for last seven years which started from the night Dumbledore was murdered and they took up the challenge of hunting all the Horcruxes and destroy Voldemort forever. Her nights afterwards were devoted to all the planning for the daring mission that awaited them and after her assault, Hermione had hardly been able to sleep at peace.
Afterwards, most of her nights were full of ugly dreams, which she fought by taking Dreamless Sleep until Audré came to her aid.
Hermione could still remember the beautiful feminine voice singing inside her head the song that she had listened in her dream.
'Sleepy head,
Going off to bed,
Going off to slumberland.
Sleepy head,
Going off to sleep,
Into the Woods of Dreams so deep!
The woods of dreamland had been like a larger than life version of Forbidden Forest where colourful wild flowers adorned the path that Hermione walked on, her white gown flowing behind her and birds chirping around her in sweet voice.
Sleepy head,
Follow your own light,
Into the Woods of Dreams tonight!
Into the Woods of Dreams,
We go each night,
Gathering golden fruit from every tree
And if a nightmare thunders through
Why, just hold on to me!
And she had seen her mother standing on the bank of a magnificent lake whose banks were ornamented with trees bearing golden fruits. 'Mum!' with a happy exclaim, Hermione had run to reach her mother fearful that she might lose her and hopeful that she will stay, and crushed into her open arms.
'Mum, I am home.' she had cried longingly.
Sleepy head,
Tired little child,
The woods are very lovely
So mysterious and wild
Sleepy head,
May I go with you
Into the Woods of Dreams so true!'
Hermione smiled at her café au lait, remembering the last lines of the wonderful song that was glowing in her heart like the morning sun.
Into the Woods of Dreams so true!'
She would definitely love to go to that dreams of woods once again no matter how tired she would be.
"…and then I will fight the scary Cyclops and bad clown and save Rome too." Hermione heard Adrian recounted his plan of becoming the savior of Earth from his current rank of savior of Paris while Lillian listened to him with interest.
"All that adventure with just one sword?" she asked Adrian so innocently that Hermione had to snort to prevent her from laughing her guts out.
"Yes and grandma Audré will help me too." Adrian nodded affirmative, "Then I will name her the queen of France." He declared pompously.
"I see." Lillian commented, "I should go and check if the future queen of France has woken up or not." She finished her coffee and stood up to leave while Hermione opened her mouth to ask the one question that had been making her feel uneasy.
"Lillian, is aunt Audré fine?" she asked her sister-in-law cautiously, "I mean you know that she…" she paused to silently communicate the word 'insomniac' without uttering it before Adrian which will result in a half an hour interrogation session by her overly curious son about what is insomniac and why is Audré so, "…she stays up late at night."
Lillian nodded with a kind smile, "Yes, maman is just fine." She replied, "Maman's personal elf Zilek told me this morning that maman had been awake working for the case last night and she was feeling tired; so she would be sleeping for a while." She informed Hermione who immediately detected the lie in the statement for Audré had been with her in Morpheus's study, "I am just going to check if she is awake now and needs anything before I go to my own office." she explained.
Hermione nodded in return and watched Lillian leave, "Adrian, finish your milk." She directed her attention to her son, who was again drawing flowers with tomato ketchup on his plate, "We are getting late for your school." She reminded him sternly checking her watch.
When Lillian returned ten minutes later with the news that her mother was up and about, Hermione wiped Adrian's mouth with napkin and left with him for their intended destinations for the day without even noticing that a pair of grey eyes watched them from a distance, cautiously.
•••••
On his way out to office on Wednesday morning, Alexis almost stumbled on his steps when his mother, Apolline Delacour asked him to take her to Château de la Grange-Bléneau.
"Why, maman?" he asked her politely, his instincts suddenly warning him about possible involvement of a certain pretty blonde witch.
"Well, I want to ask Audré for her daughter, Lillian to visit us this weekend." his mother replied plainly.
His worst suspicions confirmed, Alexis tried hard not to show it before his mother.
"Maman, on your orders I did ask Mademoiselle Lillian to visit us." He informed Apolline, who was checking a long list of household works to be completed before winter, "But from her words I gathered that she is a busy woman and doesn't have enough time for such pleasantries. Besides, I doubt it if she will find any interest in our household for she is accustomed to live in grand Château." He explained.
"Nonsense!" Apolline snorted loudly, "I saw Audré and her daughter and I can assure you, Alexis, they are completely devoid of famous Malfoy arrogance and pride." She cast her son a curious look, "Do you disapprove of her visiting our home?" she asked Alexis.
"No!" Alexis lied though he tried to sound otherwise, "It is just that I expressed my views on her cold demeanor that she displays whenever I am around. She hardly looks at me, maman; not that I regret it but it is annoying sometimes." He said truthfully this time.
"Well, you did ignore her on the first part of your encounter, Alexis and maybe…" she paused just a moment, "…maybe she has noticed it and decided to give you a taste of your own favours." She said nonchalantly, "Whatever, I am visiting Audré this afternoon to ask for Lillian to visit us this weekend and you are taking me there." She said dismissively, "It is high time we return some courtesy for taking good care of our daughter, Gabrielle."
Alexis sighed.
His mother always knew very well how to defeat him in arguments.
Formulating a plan to stay at his office for the weekend with an excuse of excess work, Alexis was just about to leave when Apolline called him again.
"And Alexis, dearest, don't even think about working this weekend." She warned him and Alexis rolled his eyes, "It doesn't look good when someone visits our home and one of the family members is at office." she said in a tone of finality.
Alexis turned to face his mother, his mind made up to not let go of this issue without a fight.
"Maman, I am sorry but I don't think my presence is required in the ladies' company." He said evenly, "Mademoiselle Lillian will be with you and Gabrielle all her time. Why should I not make use of that time to complete my works at office?" he tried to sound logical.
"Quite the contrary, Alexis." Apolline's eyes didn't leave the list that she ticked and crossed, "If she notices that you are not at home when she visited it, it might give her a wrong impression about you. She might think that you are avoiding her on purpose, which I am sure you are trying to do." She said confidently.
Alexis folded his arms over his chest, "And why would I do that?" he asked his mother, "I am not afraid of her."
"No, dearest, you are not." Apolline admitted calmly, "You are in fact afraid of yourself. No matter how hard I try to make you see the sense in this, Alexis, you are still harbouring the old notion that your momentary weakness for Lillian is a betrayal to your love for Jean. But it is not. Why should you be afraid of Lillian when you told me that there was nothing in between you? That you felt nothing but shame for being attracted to her even for a single moment? Why should your love for Jean be threatened by Lillian's presence?" she finally looked up from the list and gave Alexis a skeptic look.
"Because I still feel that peculiar…strange…bizarre…" Alexis ran out of words to describe the feeling that he had whenever Lillian was around, "…maman, please don't ask her to visit our home and if you do, please don't ask me to stay at home. I am confident of my love for Jean. I am not scared of betraying her trust but I just can't tolerate this uneasiness that I feel when Lillian is around me. On your words, I am trying to be courteous with her but that's all I can do for now. Do whatever you like to do but please don't ask more of me in this for no matter what I say or do or think, in my heart I still couldn't get over the loss of letting go of Jean and Adrian. I love them, maman, I. Love. Them." he declared stubbornly.
Apolline's blue eyes filled with tears immediately and she bit her lips.
"You think I don't love them, Alexis, that I don't feel their loss?" she asked him in a voice constricted with emotion, "Jean is like my own daughter and Adrian is like my own grandson. He was born here, he grew up before my very eyes and I miss them everyday…every moment. Their touch is everywhere in this home: kitchen, garden, parlour, staircases, everywhere. But I try not to show it to them because Jean is already having a hard time settling down in Audré's home with Malfoy as her husband though they live separately. Now, if I too showed my emotions, she wouldn't be able to take it, Alexis, for this young woman had to let go of her parents once before and we, Gustave and I, are like her parents. So, don't delude yourself in thinking that you are the only one suffering here." She said reproachfully.
Realizing his mistake in judging her, Alexis walked over to his crying mother, leaned forward and embraced her tightly, "Forgive me, maman, I never implied that I am the one mourning for them. No." he shook his head, "I know that you, Papa and Gabrielle are also missing them constantly. It is hard not to do so." He rested his chin on his mother's shoulder, "I am sorry if I have hurt you with my words."
Apolline sniffed audibly, "I just hate Malfoy. I hate him for taking away my daughter from me. I hate him for taking away my grandson from me." her words were spiced with pure hatred, "I hate him, Alexis. I hate him with all my heart." She confessed openly.
Alexis couldn't deny that no matter how hard to appear civil with Malfoy, his own feeling regarding that man was the same.
"I will take you to Madame Malfoy's home and I will be at home this weekend to welcome our guest should she allows her daughter to visit us." He said solemnly, trying to take off his mother's mind off the topic of Malfoy and her hatred for him, "I promise, maman, I will be a good and kind host." He released his mother and offered her a handkerchief.
"I myself wasn't interested in Lillian until recently when Jean said that she has a Veela hair core in her Rowan wand." Apolline blew her nose in Alexis's handkerchief, "I mean, except for Fleur none of my children has Veela hair as wand core and Lillian doesn't even have a Veela heritage but she has it. So, I am pretty curious to find out how. Don't think I am trying to match make you with her." She said earnestly.
Alexis's heart filled with love for his elderly mother who was crying like a little girl before him. He smiled at her and kissed on the forehead, "I know, maman, I know." He embraced her again to assure her that he truly believed in her words.
"Be ready when I return from my office to take you to Madame Malfoy's home, maman." Alexis released Apolline after a while, "You ladies take awfully long time to get ready." He sounded exasperated.
Apolline slapped Alexis's cheek fondly and smiled gently, "Spoiled brat!" she chastised him mockingly.
•••••
There's only one thing Draco could say without needing to wonder if it's true, without a shadow of a doubt about it was that for the first time in his entire life, he, pureblood Draco Malfoy was ashamed to face Muggleborn Hermione Granger, something that he thought was never possible under this very sky, sun, moon and many stars.
He had seen her coming out of dining room this morning holding Adrian's hand lightly. She looked happy and fresh – just like the scent of daisies she carried. He so wanted to go and tell her that he is extremely sorry for what she had been through and that he cared for her now; but somehow his limbs wouldn't listen to his command to move and approach her.
Who could have thought that after a glorious past of tormenting the woman that he so detested, Draco Malfoy would be ashamed to even look at her, let alone talk?
For this life of Hermione Granger was his gift from hell and now he was the one who was burning in that fire he himself had set.
So Draco had let them pass by undisturbed while he hid in a corner watching them longingly.
His appetite completely gone, Draco had sat on the breakfast table once Lillian left only to escape the suffocating solitude of his bedroom and buried his face in his hands, his breakfast untouched before him.
Numerous thoughts have outpoured themselves since.
Thoughts about his life before violating Hermione and after doing so.
No matter how hard he had tried, Draco has never been free of the thread of guilt that has lingered in his mind.
And now after facing the bigger picture of the damage he had inflicted upon that innocent soul, Draco wondered how can he ever be free of the image he had created from himself?
Where should he start?
What should he do?
How should it be done?
Will Hermione ever forgive her?
Can he forgive himself for his actions?
Was there any other way of salvation except forgiveness that he so desperately sought?
And where was the end of this journey that he has embarked upon?
Draco didn't know.
In the middle of all his wondering and pondering, a feminine soft hand placed itself on his head and ran it through his sleek hair.
Without even bothering to open his eyes, Draco knew to whom it belonged.
His aunt Audré, the woman whose very touch brought forth endless comfort to him from the day he discovered its magical power.
So he leaned on her touch and rested his head against the flat of her stomach, letting her stroke his head gently.
"How is it that a man, who is facing the daunting task of buying a home for his little son, is sitting in the breakfast table idly ten o' clock in the morning when he should be working non-stop in his office?" she asked Draco softly.
Draco let out a tired breath, "I am not feeling like doing anything, aunt." he confessed, "I am exhausted."
"Exhausted?" Audré chimed, "How is that so?" she enquired lightly.
Draco checked his mind before answering honestly, "I am a worthless man, aunt. I am fit for nothing."
"Malfoy and worthless?" Audré's light smile was audible, "They are antonyms, dear." She tickled under Draco's ears.
"But I am, aunt, I am worthless." Draco cried out desperately, encircling his left arm around Audré's elegant waist and drawing her closer, "You are right in saying that Adrian is Hermione's son. You are right because I never did anything for him." He felt a sinking feeling in his guts, "You are right when you say that Hermione has been brave and strong enough to build herself a new world in a foreign country because I find it almost impossible to do so even with my name and fame as Malfoy. You are right in saying that I have acted on my unreasonable prejudice and jealously against her because of her blood status while looking past her inner good qualities. You are right when you say that I insulted her unlawfully and her violation by me was the worst possible crime that a man can do on a woman. You are right, Hermione is right and I am wrong…" his voice broke, "…I am wrong and I am ashamed. I am extremely ashamed of myself and I don't feel like doing anything at all."
Audré let out a soft sigh, "Draco, sometimes I wonder how thick the Malfoy skin must be that it took you twelve years to realize this simple truth." She commented, "So you want to let them go?"
The horrible sinking feeling in Draco's stomach pit accentuated as he imagined Hermione and Draco walking out of the Château.
It intensified when he imagined Hermione getting married to Alexis and Adrian calling him the word that he desired to hear from his lips – Papa.
"I…" he faltered in his speech as the pain almost constricted his voice box, "I can't let that happen either."
"So?" Audré's question and pressure of her stroking fingers were soft.
Draco wondered how to answer the simple question.
"My salary isn't enough to buy Adrian a home at Ile de la Cité, aunt." he confessed openly, cringing shamefully that he was talking about his inadequate income, "I basically took that job only to pay for Hermione and Adrian's daily needs because she is bearing it all alone. I had no plans to close down my vault at Gringotts. But now that I have to bear their expenses as well as buy Adrian a home that is almost non-existent, I don't know where I will get that extra money not to mention how to find a proper place for him."
"The solution is simple." Audré said evenly, "Let them go back to the man who has a home at Ile de la Cité."
Realizing that she was referring to Alexis Delacour, Draco distangled his arm from around his aunt's waist and looked up at her.
"You want Hermione to get married to Delacour?"
It wasn't a question but a statement.
"Well, she loves that man and deserves to be happy in her life." Audré looked at her nephew's eyes and stated simply, "Besides, what is there that you can give her?"
"But Hermione is my wife, aunt, she is my wife." Draco felt his over wrought nerves almost tear at the prospect of letting Hermione go.
"I told you before, Draco, and I am telling you again now that marriage isn't a servitude." Audré's eyes were calm but stern, "And if you are so ashamed of your acts then why aren't you setting her free?"
"Because I can't." Draco stood up and faced his aunt boldly.
"Why? Are you still jealous of the happiness she will have when she will be with Delacour?" Audré arched a demanding eyebrow.
"No. I am not jealous of Hermione. She is way better than I am and ever could be. That much I am sure of." Draco declared proudly.
"Then you must be thinking that she will not allow you near Adrian if you let her go?" Audré crossed her arms and smirked.
"No." Draco shook his head, "Because the truth is that even with us a married couple and living in the same Château, aunt, my son still isn't mine." Draco professed, "He calls me Monsieur."
"Then you must be angry with Alexis Delacour and trying to punish him subtly by keeping Jean away from him?" Audré nodded as if she has discovered a deadly conspiracy, "No wonder for a Slytherin like yourself."
"No!" Draco spat, unable to take the injustice in Audré's false allegations anymore, "I don't give Delacour a damn."
"Then why won't you let Jean go?" Audré challenged him, "Tell me Draco, why won't you set her free when you, according to your own words, are not jealous of her…" she counted on her finger, "…not insecure about Adrian and hardly give a damn to Delacour? Why purposefully try to clip her wings? Why try to destroy her chances of happiness that you know you can't provide? Why not let her breathe free and walk away from under your demonic shadow? Why? Why? Why?" she placed her hands on her hips and demanded angrily.
"BECAUSE, AUNT, I LOVE HER! I LOVE HERMIONE!"
Draco's words hang in the air as he stared at his aunt, horrified.
Who actually spoke those words through his lips?
Was it him?
Draco Malfoy?
Did he just confess his love for Hermione Granger?
The Muggleborn witch?
The woman he himself has tortured?
He watched as Audré smirked and withdrew her hands from her hips, "Really, Draco?" her smirk was almost ruthless, "You…" she pointed an accusing finger at him, "…say that you love 'Hermione'?" she asked him deliberately.
Draco didn't know how to avoid the question when the cat was finally out.
It was on that day in the rain, when he had watched Hermione laughing, playing and purifying herself in rain water that all his suspicions and doubts about his true feelings for her had been washed away.
It was Astoria's words that had made him realize why he was jealous when Alexis came close to Hermione.
It was his aunt's advice to let his old self die in order to reveal the new man that was slowly but steadily growing underneath.
It was last night that he had realized the extent of his crime from Hermione's own lips and the true motive behind his longing to reach out to ask for forgiveness from her.
That he was in love with her.
Unconsciously.
Unplanned.
And unexpected.
But it was spontaneous.
And impulsive.
And a pleasant surprise.
"I do, aunt, I do." He replied solemnly, "I love Hermione."
"That's understandable." Audré remarked, "I guess that's your new prank to soften her up so that she withdraws her conditions on the deal." She stated dismissively.
"Of course not." Draco protested violently, "It is not a prank. I do love her."
"Yes, why not?" Audré was highly amused at Draco's declaration, "But pray tell me one thing, my dear nephew, why are you sitting and miming here, at ten o' clock in the morning when you should either be at Sorbonne or working in your office to earn money to meet her demands?" Audré demanded sharply, "If you truly love her, as you are deluding yourself with, why are you whiling away your time wailing for your 'Hermione' instead of working to prove it?"
"Because I…" Draco suddenly spotted the loophole in his proclamation, "Because I was wondering how to earn more money."
Audré nodded with a deliberate look on her face as she settled on her usual chair.
"A good cock and bull story." She remarked lightly as she buttered her baguette bread, "You can make a successful career out of it, you know, Draco by writing them down and publishing them. The readers will be swooning on your remarkable writing ability."
Draco snorted and sat down.
His aunt's jibes, however light or cruel, always showed him a new way and hope.
Now that what was in his mind was finally in his lips he knows his way forward.
He must prove to Hermione that he loves her.
That he admires her courage.
That he can't take it when she cries.
That he wants to give her and Adrian a home with his honest income.
And he will be doing it all silently from background.