Chapter Four: The Legendary Concert Part One
Bella's POV
I coated my hair in a thick layer of extra hold hairspray ensuring my loose curls wouldn't fall out at any time during my performance. Today was the big day, my last concert before I can go back to my home in New York. Part of me is relieved my tour is over but the other part is unhappy. Touring got my mind of things for a while and I didn't feel so lonely. I sighed. Not wanting to think of what was coming later I shrugged out of my robe to get changed into my first outfit of the night. Taking my clothes of the clothing rack, I swiftly changed into them being careful not to mess up my hair.
Standing in front of my full length mirror, I peered at my reflection. I looked hot. I wore a tight revealing leather halter top that showed off some of my stomach with a short pleated skirt barely covering my ass. Then underneath I wore oval fishnet tights paired with sleek black stilettos.
Time for makeup; I caked on some unnecessary foundation slightly darker than my skin tone to dull my paleness. For my eye makeup I coated my eyelids in a layer of silver glitter then rimmed my eyes with a dark kohl liner then slightly smudging it out. I covered my dark luscious lashes in black mascara and to finish the entire look I added my usual crimson red lipstick to my plump lips. Smiling in the vanity mirror, happy with the result, I was ready for the show.
"IZZY! SHOWTIME!" My manager yelled. I chuckled; I would have been able to hear her even if she talked in a whisper. But she didn't know that nor would she ever. Sighing I fluffed my hair up adding some volume and strutted to the stage.
"HELLO PEOPLE OF DENALI!" I screamed into the microphone. "HOW ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?!"
The audience broke out into cheers and applause.
"MY FIRST NUMBER OF THE NIGHT IS ONE OF MY HIT SINGLES 'APPLAUSE'!"
Taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth and the lyrics started spilling out in my musical voice.
"I stand here waiting for you to bang the gong
To crash the critic saying, "Is it right or is it wrong?"
If only fame had an I.V., baby could I bear
Being away from you, I found the vein, put it in here
I live for the applause, applause, applause
I live for the applause-plause
Live for the applause-plause
Live for the way that you cheer and scream for me
The applause, applause, applause
Give me that thing that I love (I'll turn the lights out)
Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch (make it real loud)
Give me that thing that I love (I'll turn the lights out)
Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch (make it real loud)
(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Make it real loud
(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch
(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Make it real loud
(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch
I've overheard your theory "nostalgia's for geeks"
I guess sir, if you say so, some of us just like to read
One second I'm a Koons, then suddenly the Koons is me
Pop culture was in art, now art's in pop culture in me
I live for the applause, applause, applause
I live for the applause-plause
Live for the applause-plause
Live for the way that you cheer and scream for me
The applause, applause, applause
Give me that thing that I love (I'll turn the lights out)
Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch (make it real loud)
Give me that thing that I love (I'll turn the lights out)
Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch (make it real loud)
(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Make it real loud
(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch
(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Make it real loud
(A-P-P-L-A-U-S-E) Put your hands up, make 'em touch, touch"
This song was unbelievably true; I have nothing else to live for really. No family or friends, not husband or kids. I flinched. No human would be able to make out the small flinch, I relaxed. So I guess I really do live for the applause. It helps lessen the painful throb in my silent heart every day.
"I LOVE YOU! ONTO MY NEXT NUMBER, THIS ONE IS CALLED 'HUMAN.'! "
This song is really just an inside joke. I can't do any of these things but I guess it's a good concept for humans.
"I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days
If that's what you want
Be your number one
I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that's what you ask
Give you all I am
I can do it
I can do it
I can do it
But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human
I can take so much
'Til I've had enough
'Cause I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human"
I finished with a smile and scanned the crowd. That's when I saw them. My breath hitched. All seven of them. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice and him. His beautiful tousled bronze hair, creamy white complexion, sharp features and of course his gorgeous topaz eyes. But no longer filled with the liquid gold I remembered, now they were dull and frozen solid. Almost lifeless?
Edward. His name caused my old wound to rip open. I strained to stand up straight, the pain in my chest unbearable. But I managed to hold myself together. The pain vanished and just as fast was replaced by anger. Anger towards him. It raged on inside of me. Instead of playing an upbeat song like I had planned, I had a better idea. I smirked.
"So, I hope you liked it, I would like to discuss something a little more serious for a second. A long time ago, I was left by someone I loved very much and I became very depressed and suicidal. I did get through...most of it. But in that period in my life I wrote a song and I would like to share it with you."
I stared into his topaz eyes one more time, letting myself take in the beauty. He was completely clueless to who I was. I tore my gaze away from him and sat down at the baby grand piano. I took an unnecessary deep breath and my fingers began to play the depressing notes.
"There's a possibility,
There's a possibility,
All that I had, was all I'm gonn' get.
mmmmmmm...
There's a possibility,
There's a possibility,
All I'm gonn' get is gone with your stare.
All I'm gonn' get is gone with your stare.
So tell me when you hear my heart stop
You're the only one who knows.
Tell me when you hear my silence.
There's a possibility I wouldn't know
mmmmmmm...
mmmmmmm...
Know that when you leave,
Know that when you leave,
By blood and by me, you walk like a thief,
By blood and by me, I fall when you leave.
So tell me when you hear my heart stop.
You're the only one who knows.
Tell me when you hear my silence,
There's a possibility I wouldn't know.
So tell me when my sorrows over
You're the reason why I'm closed
Tell me when you hear me falling.
There's a possibility it wouldn't show.
mmmmmm...
mmmmmm...
By blood and by me, I'll fall when you leave.
By blood and by me, I'll follow your lead.
mmmmm...
mmmmm...
mmmmm...
mmmmm..."
At the end of the song Edward looked depressed. A frown etched into his perfect face. That's when I looked more carefully at his appearance; he had lavender bags under his dead eyes, his hair dirty and much messier than I remembered. Why was he acting like this?
I continued on with the show seeking more revenge on poor Edward. Cue the sarcasm.
"My next song is called 'Gone and Never Coming Back'!"
The audience screamed and hollered in delight while the background instrumental began. Right on cue my musical voice flooded through the air.
"It's sad that memories never die
Just fill your head with why
Then you're caught living a lie again
It's sad that all he ever said
Was that he loved me to death
But then he's gone again
And I was wrong again
'Cause you think it's easier
Easy like that
Just when I wasn't finished
You were gone like that
Can't you hear me crying?
'Cause I need you back
'Cause I'm slowly dying
'Cause I need you bad
But you're gone and never coming back
Gone and not coming back
He's never coming back
Shoulda known
The long kiss goodbye
Would bring sadness in my life
Wearing this disguise again
I wish that you would have said
Or lied to me instead
Like a bullet to my head
Like a fool I pretend
That it's on again
On again
[Chorus]
'Cause you think it's easier
Easy like that
Just when I wasn't finished
You were gone like that
Can't you hear me crying
'Cause I need you back
And I'm slowly dying
'Cause I need you bad
But you're gone and never coming back
Gone and not coming back
He's never coming back
Whoever said look on the brighter side
Has never been on mine
Whoever said that he'll get his
Never felt like this
Ain't no use in crying
When you're done like that
'Cause baby, baby you took something
That I can't buy back
And now you're gone and never coming back
Coming back
Ooh he's not coming back"
By the time I finished the last verse, my eyes stung with anger tears that would never flood over the rims of my golden eyes. Rage radiated off of me but I managed to calm down. I peered over at Edward a few rows back. His expression pitiful really He looked completely torn and in despair. His eyes gave him a depressed appearance, and there was no trace of what used to be my favourite crooked smile. It was replaced with a quivering frown. Almost as if he were holding back a sob. Looking away I yelled out to the howling crowd.
"WHAT DID YA THINK?!" The audience burst in applause and excitement, obviously happy with the way tonight went. "TONIGHT IS MY LAST PERFORMANCE FOR MY TOUR! I HAD SO MUCH FUN! I WOULD LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING! 'NIGHT!" With that, I made my way to the exit but not before I turned and gave the audience the middle finger and stuck my tongue out. That was really just for Edward though. I smiled evilly to myself.
I ducked into my dressing room to change into something more comfortable. I settled for a pair of ripped denim jeans by Dolce & Gabbana, a Chanel 'fuck' cropped top, and a pair of Lorina black suede ankle boots embellished with a small studded bow. Perfect.
I sat at my stool peering into my vanity mirror. My eye liner smudged a bit. Stupid kohl liner. What I needed was a liquid liner. I yanked my makeup case open and pulled out my Stila Stay All Day Felt Tip Liquid Liner. I drew a dramatic cat liner and fixed my mascara clumping up my lashes. I reapplied my scarlet red lipstick, smacking my lips together and smiling at my beautiful reflection.
I was drawn away from the mirror from a timid knock on the thin wooden door. I could feel their eerie vampire presence. I huffed annoyed and answered,
"Yes?"
My manager's mumbled voice called from outside,
"A group of people wish to see you? Apparently you know each other, the Cullens?"
My breath hitched. Did they know who I actually was? I put on a stone like expressionless façade and choked out,
"Send them in." I was surprised how emotionless and cold it sounded. I forced a smile as the door creaked open.
Seven vampires stood in front of me. The same vampires I had wished to come back for years until I realized how much they really hurt me and they did not matter anymore.
Carlisle broke the silence, with a clearing of his throat before beginning a speech.
"Sorry, I know we have never met but we came to talk about your diet. We saw you on TV; we haven't met any other vegetarians except our cousins."
I breathed a sigh of relief. They didn't know who I really was.
"That's quite alright, I understand. I knew you were not some crazed fans, you smelled like vampire. So what is this discussion of my diet about?"
"Well first we would like to introduce ourselves. I am Carlisle, my wife Esme," he gestured to Esme who still looked exactly the last time I saw her on my dreaded 18th birthday party. Esme smiled warmly. "And these are my children, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice and Edward."
I forced a smile hoping it didn't look like a grimace. Each name sliced through old wounds painfully. My dead heart shattered to pieces as Carlisle spoke the last name.
I gritted my razor sharp teeth and forced a smile. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Izzy." I spoke monotonously.
"Maybe we should take this discussion somewhere a little more private." Carlisle hesitated, "Our place?"
Could I do this? I wasn't so sure. Why did they have to show up? Edward promised 'It would be as if he never existed'. But he broke all his other promises anyway. Lying bastard.
"Izzy?"
"Yes, sorry, I would love to come over." I answered; regret lacing my tone for answering so hastily.
This was going to be a VERY long night.