Here is chapter 6. No action in this chapter, but I promise Carter will get her chance to kick some zombie ass real soon.
Chapter 6: Chaos Theory
Chaos research, often referred as Chaos Theory, described a scientific area of physics and mathematics. It specified in the order of dynamic systems that on first glance appeared deterministic. But their outcome was in truth not predictable, but highly unforeseeable and, well chaotic. What developed from that was called deterministic chaos by scientists like major Samantha Carter. And right now she felt caught in such a deterministic chaos.
When two days ago the first reports of the scary behavior of some people appeared in the newspapers, nobody could have predicted this rapid and dramatic development. At first, people believed it to be simply a prank or maybe a really bizarre flash mob. But by the time the first persons were hurt badly and even died, wild speculations arose.
Newspapers called it first a vampire virus and then, right after it leaked trough that the victims had bite wounds all over the body and not just on the neck, is was renamed as cannibal virus. In next to no time panic and chaos swamped the big cities and small villages equally. Highways became clogged, the waiting halls at the airports were overfilled and the train stations incapable to cope with the amount of travelers. All public life had been quickly affected. Schools sent their students home, adults refused to go to work and instead stormed grocery stores for panic buying. The National Guard closed off whole streets and city blocks while irresponsibly members of the press participated in wild and sensationally speculations.
For a brief hours politicians openly discussed the possibility of a terroristic attack with biological or chemical weapons, but ever since identically outbreaks had accrued all over the world, that possibility had resolved itself. It was almost unfortunately that it was not a terroristic attack, because then they would know how to act. But no one knew what this was. A virus? A bacterium? Or maybe a degenerative progress in the human brain? Where did it come from? Who was patient zero? And most of all, was there a cure?
Carter rubbed her burning eyes tiredly. Two days ago her world had been whole and in order. It felt as if that days were months ago. Yesterday night she had gone to bed with the small and maybe even naïve hope that in the morning someone would have found a solution. But instead she woke up in a world where the dead hounded the living, gormandized their flesh and made them one of their own. This world already showed first signs of disintegration. If she were religious she could find solace in the bible and think of it as a pervert version of resurrection or as slowly destroying apocalypse. But her scientific mind refused and struggled against all kind of spiritual explanations. And the soldier in her fought vigorously and with everything she had against the paralysis that rose from fearing to be a witness of the end of the world.
Her sight circuited through the sticky room but found no one that appeared even a little bit fiercely or confidently. Together with about one dozen other scientists she was stranded in this room at Schriever Air Force Base and waited for evacuation to Washington D.C. Although she knew none of the other attendants, she was sure that they were experts in their field of work. Doctors, virologists, chemists, biologists and all of them wore their stereotype white lab coats and appeared to have been torn out of their everyday life just like herself. They were taken care of by an Air Force major, who had explained to them that they had been chosen by an impersonal authority to be part of an crisis management team in the capital city.
But no one seemed particularly confident to reach that goal. Wherever she looked Sam only saw empty, confused and frightened glances. Although that wasn't entirely true. There was one person, a female doctor, that acted anything but withdrawn. Contrary to her admittedly small size, she displayed a fierce temper. Since she had been brought here a few hours ago, the woman gave the poor major hell. Her vehement performance contrasted plainly with her ashy colleagues and their tired postures.
Sam was one of the few attendants that felt sympathy for the small woman. She apparently had been separated from her daughter and now feared that something bad had happened to the girl. The woman repeatedly told the major that some federal agent hat promised her to find her daughter and demanded to speak to said agent. But so far neither agent nor girl had arrived at Schriever.
The desperate mother alternated between screaming and begging and slowly but surely attracted her colleagues sour attention. The major tried to sooth her appropriately to his options, but his halfhearted empty words encouraged her even more. Carter studied the scene with sympathetic eyes. She could empathize with the woman, even though the roles were somewhat interchanged. She was a daughter that had lost her mother and here was a mother that feared loosing her daughter in the chaos outside the base. It was a horrible and brutally honest thought that forced it's way into her mind, but the female doctor couldn't even be sure that her daughter was still alive. Sam cringed and tried to block out hurtful memories of the moment that had ended her youth violently. So yes, she felt the woman's pain as if it was her own.
Looking for some distraction she sought out her fiancés familiar form. She spotted his body, clad in an expensive blue suit, in a corner. With his back to her, he was focused on his new smart phone and refused to accept that mobile phone networks had collapsed. She knew he tried to contact someone he knew at the White House, but his effort was wasted. The landline and internet were down too, leaving them no possibility to contact anyone outside the base.
Sam sighed. Joes presence should give her strength, but the opposite was the cause. It was sad, but Joe only added weight to her shoulders. It was not his fault that she felt this way. But seeing the desperate mother, she asked herself if it was fair that the woman had lost her child while she had her fiancé with her. It seemed unfair.
Joe must have registered her depressed mood, or he was just finally ready to accept his smart phones uselessness, anyway he let his body fall tiredly onto the seat next to her. Wordlessly he grasped her hand and squeezed it. His hand was clammy, cold and shaky. Sam sensed that this touch benefited Joes mental state more than hers. She squeezed back nonetheless and even managed a weak smile.
"Everything's going to be okay. You'll see, we'll be save in Washington."
Although his voice sounded robust, his nervous hand, that stroked her cheek more clumsily than loving, showed his strained emotional state. Sam left his words unanswered. Instead she thought about how to use Joe's position to help the desperate mother. Joe was not a scientist or military. He was a congressman and the only one with some kind of political discretionary power. She nodded towards the despaired doctor.
"Can you do something for her?"
Joe breathed hard.
"I'm sorry about her daughter too. But what are we supposed to do? We don't know where she is right now."
He sounded tired and drawn. Sam examined him from the side. His body hung slack in the chair and didn't fit his appearance. The highly priced suit was freshly starched and fit his body perfectly. Although it was stuffy and too warm in the room, his tie stayed accurately around his neck. In contemplation of the raging chaos outside his meticulous clothes looked out of place. But Joe was like that, in every possible situation anxious to appear calm and in control. Sometimes she wished for less formality and more substance in his actions.
"I hope her daughter get's here before the chopper does." Sam let her scrutinizing eyes roam the room. There were not many people appearing sympathizing with the female doctor and some were throwing angry glances her way. "I don't think," she continued worriedly, "that the others will wait for the girl."
Joe must have detected the hostile undertone in her voice, because he felt the need to come to the others defense.
"They're just afraid, Sam."
"How do you think that girl feels? She's all alone out there."
"We can't know that. Maybe she's at one of the refugee camps."
His voice sounded pacifying and Sam sensed that he wanted to avoid this discussion altogether.
"Still. She doesn't know anyone at those centers."
Joe grimaced and had the nerve to appear almost irritated.
"Let it go, Samantha."
Jep, he was definitely irritated. Irritated and obtrusively patronizing. Sam felt anger rising in her body. How dare he sit here and feel bothered when there was a girl all alone in this chaos?
"But we can't do nothing!"
The dark haired congressman rubbed his eyes and sighed in annoyance. Abruptly some tension returned to his body as he tried to restrain the need to raise his voice.
"I don't know what we can do, but I know what we can't. And we can't stay here and wait for this girl. These people here are specialists and we need them in Washington. Think about it Sam, they could be our only chance to heal this. We can't throw that away for one person."
"We're talking about a kid here, Joe."
"That's not our problem!"
His tone was degrading and determining. It was clear that he thought that this discussion was over.
Sam didn't even look at him as she spat a riled "Fine!" She was fuming and gave into the sudden urge to move, to reduce the tension. She leaped from her place next to her fiancé and headed of a few steps deeper into the room. She tried to compose herself. Told herself, that she shouldn't interpret to much into Joe's indifferent words. Sam risked a short glance his way. He massaged his temples. He certainly didn't really mean what he said. He was just stressed, like all of them. Just because his suit fit him perfectly didn't mean that his temper was in the same condition. He was just swamped and scared. And fear made people do and say things that they wouldn't do under normal circumstances.
But still, she couldn't stop herself from feeling offended. No matter how hopeless the situation, it was wrong to let the situation paralyze you. Arms crossed over her chest, she examined the room. The mood was testy and far from compassion and directed towards the small doctor. Many of the present scientists showed off an immense amount of disinterest and tried to appear unknowing to her obvious pain. No, this mother could not count on her fellow colleagues to help her. And although Sam could understand Joe's argument, she still thought it wrong to close yourself off from the female doctors plea and justify it with the common good.
Sam drew herself to full height, braced her shoulders and prepared for the coming encounter. At the moment the female doctor and her disappeared daughter were hopelessly outnumbered and it was time to level up the balance of power. Hell-bent on supporting the desperate mother, Sam walked steadfast to the entrance area, where the major still tried to soothe the upset petite woman. But Sam didn't get the opportunity to intervene. Without warning a loud and booming voice could be heard from the floor. A few seconds later the owner of said boisterous voice came into view as he entered the small room.
The new arrival was a medium-sized man in his sixties. His gray hair and shrunken body were a clear sign for his age. Completed with a wrinkled face and age marks on the neck, he looked like a grandpa. But not like a nice one. The man wore an olive-green army uniform and the two stars on his shoulders identified him as an army general. So, no surprise that his appearance oozed the aura of a man that was used to his orders being executed without a question. This was a man that did not discuss and only tolerated his own words. His small, cold eyes wandered seeking through the room and pointedly found the major.
Major Davis, as his nameplate said, swallowed hard and saluted jaggedly.
"General, Sir!" greeted Davis and stood still.
The General didn't bother with salutations, but came straight to business.
"Where is the helicopter?" he barked and infinitesimally particles of salvia splat on the major's face. Davis didn't visibly react and kept his professional face.
"There have been some problems. We hope that the helicopter will arrive any minute."
The General displayed implacable fury.
"You hope! Do you have any idea what is going on out there?! Get on that damn radio and make sure that the pilot gets his sorry ass here. If the helicopter doesn't arrive in ten minutes, I'll make personally sure that this is your last day in the Air Force. Am I clear?!"
The female doctor's request momentarily forgotten, major Davis silently nodded.
"Yes, General, I'll tend to it right now." He said and left the room. In the few minutes the major was absent, the generals heavy breathing dominated the mood in the small room. The others eyed the old officer anxiously. It was apparently hard for them to see that even a seasoned army general was affected by the common amount of fear.
When the major reappeared a few minutes later, with a loosened expression on his face, the mood instantly lightened up.
"The chopper's here."
Relief flooded the room. Their saving departure to Washington D.C. was really happening. But not everyone responded well.
"What about my daughter?", demanded the female doctor to know and clarified, "I won't go without my daughter!"
Major Davis raised his opened hands in a gesture of compassion but didn't get the chance to say something.
"What is this talking about your daughter?" the General asked. Despite his harsh tone, hope budded in the mother's teary eyes. Believing to have found a supporter in her matter, and on top of that someone who had high-ranking authority, she plead her cause.
The grayed man eyed the agitated woman up, then looked questioningly at the major.
"Am I right to assume that you have orders to get all attendants on that chopper?"
Davis answered with a curt nod and the general shrugged his shoulders pettily. "So, forcer her. I don't care how you do it, but this chopper will depart as planned."
The female doctor was momentarily speechless as she stomached this. Sam thought she could see tears of desperation form in her eyes. Her honest despair was so clearly to see for everyone, that Sam felt herself getting annoyed with the others indifference. Without taking the time to think about it, she marched up to the general and glared at him. Screw the chain of command, she thought, this is insane.
"With due respect, general, but I think you're wrong." Sam heard herself say and was pleased at how self-assured she sounded.
The eyes of the older man narrowed dangerously.
"What did you just say, major?" The emphasized her lower rank to show her that he was not willing to let a subordinate talk as she pleased. But Sam wasn't ready to step back now. Out of the corner of her eyes she registered two things that encouraged her further, firstly the mothers thankful eyes and secondly, Joe's startled face. His mouth hung open and gave him the look of a goldfish behind the aquarium's glass. The congressman knew his Samantha to be thoughtful, calm and seeking harmony. He had never seen her acting insubordinately and raise her voice like that. But Sam was not in the mood to think about her carrier or Joes opinion of her actions. This was about an innocent girl that was about to be sacrificed if nothing happened to prevent it.
"I said, that you can't order a mother to be forced to leave her child behind. Nothing gives you that power, not even two stars on you shoulders."
As soon as she had said it, Sam held her breath. She had stood up and openly challenged a superior, and it felt good.
The generals eyes widened again and his face turned into a unhealthy shade of red. He bared his teeth and snarled with a menacing breath "So she stays here."
This said he turned again towards the sweating major und repeated his orders. "You either force her now, or she stays. I only care about that helicopter."
His icy voice knifed through the fuggy air in the room and caused the emotionally charged atmosphere to discharged in angry words spoken against the petite female doctor. Apparently motivated by the generals pitiless attitude, the other scientists argued for departing immediately and leaving the mother behind if she wasn't ready to be reasonable.
Sam was stunned and stared into crowd helplessly. She had wanted to help the female doctor, but all she had achieved with her rebelliousness was to weaken the mothers position further. They were ready to leave mother and daughter behind now, without a guilty conscience. Even more so, since a two star general had approved it.
But the doctors will to combat was not broken yet. With arms akimbo she countered her colleagues stubbornly.
"Okay, I'll stay."
Again the room turned completely quiet and a few attendants gawked shocked. Obviously no one of them had believed that the woman would indeed willingly stay behind. Instead they had been so sure that she would relent to the pressure. The only one who didn't appear affected was the coldhearted general.
"Whatever." He commented thin-lipped and fixed the major with a deadly stare.
"Is the chopper ready?" Major Davis looked at the mother with remorse in his eyes.
"Major, I am the highest ranking officer, not her!" barked the general as he registered the major's silent apology. "Answer my question!"
Davis tore himself away from the female doctor and conceded.
"We are ready to go. The pilot has clearance for takeoff." He answered and continued with a flat voice, "Please follow me. We'll go to the landing field together."
As soon as the major, closely followed by the general, had left the room the others wasted no time to follow him. In a matter of seconds the room was empty but for the crestfallen mother, her female supporter and the rightly embarrassed congressman. Joe stepped beside his fiancé, opened his mouth so say something but then decided to remain silent. He was a politician and word were his preferred weapon, even if they were empty of substance or tasted stale on his tongue, but now he was at a loss of words. As he thought of something fitting to say, he completely missed the heavy look between the two women.
Sam felt incapable to turn away from the other woman's grief-stricken eyes. In her expression lay silent gratitude and noble understanding. It was as if the woman forgave her for being inept to do more and for leaving now. While the mother may be able to forgive the blond woman, Sam wasn't as understanding towards herself. She couldn't go now. Couldn't flee and leave mother and daughter behind. It was just plain wrong.
Painful memories of her own mother fought their way to the surface again. She hadn't died immediately at the crash scene but made it to the hospital barely alive. There she laid, badly hurt, in a sterile hospital bed and had fought for her life and for a chance to come back to her beloved husband and children. Four days later, her mother had lost the battle. Sam had just been fifteen when it happened. Much too young to have really known her mother as the wonderful person she had been. But she knew one thing, her mother would have done everything to have more time with her family, but the chance had been brutally taken from her.
And now Sam was face to face with another mother that fought the same battle that her own had lost. This woman was equally despaired and strong willed to see her daughter again. Sam had been impotent to help her mother, and she still felt guilty over that. But she could help this mother.
She felt Joe's hand around her arm and the pressure he put on to pull her with him. Sam shook his hands off and distanced herself, emotionally and physically. She had made a decision. Sam couldn't and wouldn't leave this woman and her daughter behind.
She wasn't sure if her decision war particularly brave or just plain stupid. It was probably both. She just knew that it felt right, and this was what counted. It wouldn't do her any good to flee to Washington D.C. and hate herself for it. And it was not just the bitter memories of her mother that motivated her. There was also a very stern and very familiar voice in her head. It was her father's grouchy baritone. No matter what happens, Sammie, never lose sight of your principles. It was the right decision.
She glanced worriedly at the confused Joe and realized that he wouldn't understand it. They were engaged and Sam knew that she had a responsibility for him and them and that it was unfair of her to break her promise like that. But there was not other way. She didn't decide against Joe and their life together, she just choose the right thing to do. Now she just had so tell him gently.
Joe must have sensed what was about to happen and grasp her both hands into his and held onto them weak-spirited.
"Sam?" His voice trembled with emotion.
"I'm so sorry, Joe. I'll stay, too."
In the background the female doctor's eyes turned big with astonishment.
"I…I don't understand." Whispered Joe, his tone fogged. He swayed like a groggy boxer.
Sam felt the urge to make him understand for his own sake, but the words she had were not meaningful enough. She shrugged helplessly.
"Because it's right." She finally murmured.
"But…why?"
Joe's question was so brutally honest and loaded with lack of understanding that it forced tears into her eyes. Strangely enough she felt sorry for him, but not for herself. She was oddly content with her decision.
A hoarse "I'm sorry." was all she could offer him, before a sob escaped her mouth. But it wasn't enough. Joe gulped clumsily and pressed a hand to his face and his trembling lips together. With his right hand he wiped his tears away as his left still clutched her hand.
"Please," he wailed and appealed to her love for him, "Please don't do this to us."
Sam felt her emotions threatening to overwhelm her determination. She loved Joe and knew that Joe loved her. He didn't deserve it to be hurt that much by the person he loved. It would be so easy to follow him to Washington. To be safe. But how could she look at her reflection in the mirror and still believe in herself if she cracked now? No, she had to let go, completely and definitely.
Her fingers moved almost unconsciously and pulled the golden ring from her left ring finger. When Joe saw that, he turned even more pale and shook his head disbelievingly. At first he refused to take the ring back, but then he let her press the sign of their promise to each other into his hand. A heart-rending sob escaped his lips and shook his whole body.
It was so hard so see him like this, knowing that it was her who hurt him so deeply. But it would have been unfair to keep the ring. With the attempt to give him something to hold onto, Sam put her hands on his chest and adjusted his tie lovingly.
"You can give it back when we see each other again."
The proposal sounded hollow and empty in her own ears, maybe because she didn't believe it herself. Sam was quite sure that this virus would change their world drastically. It was possible that this was a final goodbye. They may never see each other again and she could tell that Joe knew this, too.
He touched his temples gingerly and staggered unsteadily. Then he turned bitter eyes on her. In an despaired act to be near her one last time Joe buried his hands in her hair and crushed her body to his. His kiss was neither passionate nor affectionate, rather desolate and salty from his tears. When he let her go again, his eyes were puffy and red.
"I love you and I forgive you."
Joe let his eyes wander across her beautiful face one last time, then he wiped his mouth and turned around. With every step that separated them his body won back tension and dynamic. As he reached the threshold, he froze shortly and Sam almost hoped the would give her one last glance, but then he disappeared though the door and out of her life.
Standing in the room without her fiancé, Sam felt as if a big part of her energy had left her body. Doubts if her decision had been right arose. It was not too late to follow Joe. She felt herself succumbing. But again her fathers admonishing voice boomed in her head. If you've you're your decision, stand by it.
Sam felt a soft hand on her shoulder and startled. For a short moment she had forgotten everything around her and found rare solace in her fathers voice. The petite doctor looked at her worriedly, but also grateful and admiring.
"You don't have to do this." She offered Sam a last way out.
"I know, but I want to."
The other woman perked her eyebrows and let the words sink in. She eyed Sam thoroughly, then reached her hand out. Sam seized the offered hand and drew unexpected assurance from the gesture.
"My name's Janet."
"Hi, Janet. I'm Sam."
"Sam?" asked Janet confused.
"Oh, yes…that's short for Samantha, but I think it's to girlie, hence Sam."
For the first time since the paths of the two women had intertwined, Sam and Janet could share a honest smile. It was not a hilarious or exuberant smile, but one that offered courage.
"Hey, Sam?"
"Yes, Janet?"
Janet paused before answering with a two words, that required no further clarification.
"Thank you."
End Chapter 6
I hope you liked it, and if you did, please be so kind and leave a review. I'd really like that.
PS: A little forecast for Chapter 7: O'Neill contemplates his little group of survivors, tries to talk to a stubborn teenage girl an discusses chocolate bars.
This being said, have a nice rest of the week!
Now some words for possible German readers, so English readers can ignore this.
PPS: Ein Hallo an alle die diese Geschichte lesen und deren Muttersprache auch Deutsch ist oder die generell die deutsche Sprache besser beherrschen. Ich habe die bisherigen Kapitel auch in Deutsch und beim Durchforsten des Fanfiction Archives bemerkt dass es ja nicht wirklich viele Geschichten auf deutsch gibt, vor allen Dingen lange, so wie ich sie mag. Falls also jemand nicht so gut mit der englischen Sprache zurecht kommt oder generell Interesse daran hat die Geschichte quasi im deutschen Original zu lesen, dann teilt mir das als Review mit und ich würde das Ganze in diesem Archiv zusätzlich auf Deutsch veröffentlichen.
Das war es so weit von mir, schönes Wochenende euch allen.