Chapter 21 Thinking Over
When Kate woke up one morning a few weeks later, she reached out to the empty space next to her, a little confused as to why she was alone in such a big bed.
Then she remembered where Rick was—probably with his pretty, blonde ex-wife slash publisher at a fancy five-star hotel in Europe. The image of them with their arms linked together as they left the precinct flashed in her mind, but she quickly dismissed it. Nothing would happen between Rick and Gina; she knew he wouldn't do that to her. She was just being unnecessarily paranoid and jealous right now, which was foolish of her. He'd be back sooner than she realized and everything would go back to how it was supposed to be between them.
It was a Saturday morning so Kate didn't have to go to work, which put her at a loss for what to do. After her usual morning routine, Kate padded down the stairs softly to an empty kitchen. Alexis was usually up around this time having breakfast, but a post-it on the fridge explained her absence.
Had breakfast, went shopping with friends. Be back in the afternoon. -Alexis
This was reassurance to her of the teen's responsible nature. Alexis always informed Kate of her whereabouts which quelled her nerves. Otherwise, Kate would sometimes get anxious when she didn't know where Alexis was. Must be her instinctive over-protectiveness.
Kate rummaged around the kitchen and fixed up a quick plate of scrambled eggs and some fresh fruit. She looked around for the newspaper and then remembered that it was always Rick who brought it in every morning. She hopped down from the high chair and made a brief trek to the front door to procure the paper.
Back at the kitchen island, Kate flipped through the pages and skimmed the headlines idly until she reached the classified ads, which gave her pause. There were several advertisements for apartments around New York City listed and she scanned through them intently. Odd.
She didn't read the newspaper on a daily basis, but for a while now she couldn't remember seeing ads for apartments in the classified section. In fact, the classified section was usually missing altogether. She pondered at this minor mystery for a bit. Then Kate thought back to an exchange between herself and Rick many a morning ago.
One morning a few weeks after moving into Rick's apartment, Kate woke up to the sounds and aromas of breakfast being cooked. She followed her nose to the kitchen where Rick was making pancakes.
"Good morning" Rick greeted Kate when she entered the kitchen.
"Morning." Kate said as she hopped up onto the high chair. She watched with fascination as he flipped the pancakes skillfully.
"Sleep well I hope?" he asked.
"Yes, very." Kate looked around the countertop and picked up the newspaper. When she came upon the ads for apartments, she picked up a red pen to circle potential new apartments that she might be interested in.
"Whatcha doing?" Rick asked as he plated the pancakes. Making his way around to her side of the counter, Rick set a plate of breakfast food in front of Kate and one in the spot next to her for himself.
"Just looking through the classified ads for apartments" Kate replied without looking up.
Rick frowned. "In a newspaper? How old-fashioned."
"Aren't you the one who always says newspapers are the last vestige of old era journalism?"
Rick paused for a moment. "Good point. But why the rush?"
"Hmm… Don't want to overstay my welcome."
"It's only been a couple of weeks. You know you are more than welcome to stay here as long as you'd like." She glanced up as Rick gave her a heartwarming smile and held her gaze. "Anyways, it's breakfast time so dig in."
"Thanks." She folded up the newspaper and put it away.
"Mmm…" Kate breathed. "Delicious. You make amazing pancakes" she said with a grin.
After that morning, Kate noticed that whenever she was browsing for new apartments Rick would try to distract her from her task or change the subject. She only took the initiative to look for apartments on the rare occasion but when she made the time to do so, the classified ads were usually missing from the paper. Now that she was the one who picked up the paper in the mornings, she suspected that Rick had been specifically taking out the ads when he brought it in.
Kate finally realized what Rick was trying to do. He didn't want her to leave. At least not so soon, she surmised. Kate rolled her eyes at the thought of Rick doing something so juvenile. When she finished scanning the paper, Kate made a mental note and resolved to check out some apartments later.
Setting aside the newspaper, Kate picked up her phone to look for any missed calls or messages. A few emails and texts, but none from Rick. She hadn't heard from him since he left for Europe which would normally worry her, but he had been actively posting on his Facebook page and twitter. Alexis had also briefly mentioned she talked to him for a little bit when he called to check in on her. He had informed Alexis that he was fine and enjoying his trip so far.
Kate frowned at the fact that he hadn't called or even messaged her at all. She assumed that it was because he was busy travelling and attending events, but he couldn't even be bothered to send her a text? She really wanted to know how he was doing.
Curiosity got the better of her and Kate decided to check his twitter. She would never admit that she followed him on twitter, amongst the other fan pages and communities of his of which she was a member or subscriber.
She scrolled down through some of his tweets that had been posted in the last few days. They were more numerous than usual and lacked his typical humorous ponderings. Instead, they linked to websites of the places that were hosting his signings and pictures of the events he had attended. She figured that he was using these tweets to garner press over the events he was going to and plug his book series. Kate clicked on a few photos to see what he had been up to.
Most were pictures from book signings and movie promoting parties being held in his name. She shook her head at all the women fawning over him as if he were some major celebrity.
Great, she thought. As if he needed more of an ego inflation.
Kate continued to look through the pictures that he posted on Facebook. Her heart sank when she came across photos of him in the midst of an entourage of women, signing their chests. Still more were of him as he entered a different party with a beautiful woman on one arm and Gina on the other.
Kate turned off her phone and sighed. So that's what he's been up to, partying like a playboy. Working with him at the precinct on a nearly everyday basis had made her forget that side of him. His true nature. Sometimes he could be really caring and sincere when he was there for her to lean on, which is what made her believe that he could be a genuine, loyal person. But these pictures were a stark reminder that he was still a playboy and womanizer at heart.
What was she doing with him? Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that he hadn't really changed and that getting involved with him would inevitably end up in a messy fallout. Yet Kate had ignored her better conscience and let herself indulge in temptation and all for what? A few nights of casual, albeit mind-blowing sex in exchange for messing up their friendship and partnership. Was it really worth it?
Kate really wished that he could change but it was just who he was. She didn't belong with him. She had no place in his flashy, fast-paced world filled with parties and endless fun. Why would he want to give that up for a boring settled life with her? Kate didn't belong in his world and she knew that now. Soon enough he would tire of her and she would just be another notch on his bedpost.
She had to end things with him, the sooner the better. Kate let out a heavy sigh at the thought of what it would mean for their friendship and partnership. If he chose to not work with her anymore, then it would just prove that all he was ever interested in was sleeping with her and nothing more.
Kate was a little bit angry that Rick could be so heartless, but mostly disappointed in herself because she should have known better. She swore that she would never be another one of his conquests, yet like all the rest she had predictably fallen for his charming ways. All it took was that stupid book dedication and for him to call her extraordinary. And him being there for her as she searched for her mother's killer. And offering her a home after her apartment was destroyed. She really believed that he cared about her.
Maybe he did, but that didn't mean he would want anything more than a physical relationship. How could she have been so naïve to think he would change just for her?
It was probably her fault for consenting to a friends with benefits relationship without clearly defining her intentions in the first place. Although Kate agreed to a sex-only relationship, she had secretly harbored hope that it might become something more. She wanted to see if he was interested in having a serious relationship and if she could trust him with her heart. Kate usually was good about protecting her heart, but somehow Rick managed to tear down those walls and make her really care about him back. She should have known from the start that developing feelings for someone who wasn't looking for a committed relationship would surely lead to a broken heart.
With a dull ache in her chest, Kate trotted upstairs to change. She decided to hit the precinct gym to take her mind off of Rick Castle, playboy extraordinaire. She figured a good workout would help her relieve her stress and give her a clear mind to think about things. Sparring always helped her take out her anger and alleviate that built up tension.
The precinct gym was empty when Kate arrived, ostensibly because it was a Saturday. Putting on her gloves, Kate approached the punching bag and mentally prepared herself to attack. She lined herself up with the bag and got into the proper position. Then she began to throw quick intermittent jabs at the bag, alternating left and right, with extra force than usual. She focused her anger and passion into her punches and let herself release the emotions that were clouding her mind.
Kate was so concentrated on her punches that she didn't bother to take notice when someone else entered the gym. The fellow cop watched her for a few seconds, admiring her physique and intense focus, then moved towards a pull up bar. He finished off a couple of chin ups and then approached her.
"You need someone to steady your bag," Demming said.
Kate stopped and looked up, recognizing the familiar voice. "You offering?"
"Yeah sure."
Demming stood behind the bag and held it steady as Kate went for another round. He watched with interest as she delivered powerful punch after punch. After the three minute session Kate took a break, panting to catch her breath.
"Thanks again for helping with the case. Reading up on those tech blogs was a really smart move. And finding the stolen phone was a huge help too. You basically solved the case for us."
Demming smiled. "Well finding what's lost is my specialty. You're the brains behind solving murders. And the brawns it seems."
Kate chuckled. "Still, you were instrumental to the case."
"It was my pleasure." Demming paused for a moment. "You know, you never did call me back to take up my offer."
Confusion crossed Kate's face.
"Coffee?" Demming prompted.
"Oh right. Sorry, I meant to call but I've been busy."
"Ah, okay. I get it."
"Get what?" she inquired.
"If you're not interested or not available, you can just say so. No offense taken."
"No, it's not that. My partner's out of town, so I've been working cases by myself and I've spent my spare time looking for a new apartment."
"Oh, well if you're too busy then…"
"I can find some time. Coffee's on me since you helped me with the espresso machine."
Demming smiled at the recollection of her fumbling with the coffee machine.
"Okay then. Mind if I go for a round?" he said, motioning to the punching bag.
"Yeah, sure" Kate replied. "Or do you want to spar?"
"Hmm… I don't know. I'm a bit rusty."
"Well you've got size, weight, and muscle on me and I'm a bit winded from my rounds. How much more of an advantage do you need?" she taunted.
He cocked an eyebrow at her. "Alright then."
Demming wrapped his hands with tape while Kate switched out her gloves. After they were both prepped, they stepped onto the mat and met at the center.
"Hmm… Why don't we make this interesting?" Demming asked. "Loser buys the other dinner."
Kate grinned, accepting the challenge. "You're on."
She made the first move, a quick one-two jab which Demming blocked. Kate deftly ducked down as he immediately returned an offensive blow. They returned to their starting stances and danced around each other.
Kate made a left jab then a right hook, which Demming ducked to avoid. She sent a kick to his right shoulder on his way up but missed as Demming effectively maneuvered away from it. He tried a right hook which Kate caught mid-arc. She spun past his outstretched hand and elbowed him in the abs with a loud grunt. Demming pushed her away and resumed a defensive position.
"Wow, it's been a while for me." Demming admitted.
"I'll try to be gentle," Kate taunted.
The two exchanged more punches and jabs accompanied by teasing banter.
"So why are you looking for a new apartment?" Demming inquired during a lull in the fight.
"It's a long story." Kate replied with another two punches and a few jabs to his midsection. She finished off the combo with a backwards kick which sent him to the floor. "Maybe I can tell you about it over that dinner you're going to owe me" Kate smirked over his fallen figure.
"We'll see about that." Demming quickly flipped over and used his feet to catch Kate's, toppling her over backwards. She shrieked with surprise as she fell onto the mat and had the wind knocked out of her slightly.
They each spent a few seconds to recover from the abuse of the previous hits.
As Kate started to get up, Demming took the opportunity to flip her mid-somersault and then pinned her to the ground.
"Don't get too cocky" Demming breathed, inches away from her face. They locked eyes for a moment as a result of their close proximity.
Kate expelled a breath of hot air and used this momentary pause to swing her body, flipping the two of them over so that she now pinned him to the mat. She held his arm in a painful lock. "You were saying?"
"Ow, ow. Alright, I don't think I can take much more of this. I admit defeat" Demming forfeited, tapping out.
She released his arm and stood up, offering him a hand. "Not bad for someone who hasn't done this in a while."
"Yeah, well I need some practice. I definitely want a rematch sometime."
Beckett thought for a moment. "Hmm… I'm game."
"So it seems I owe you a dinner. Are you free tonight?"
"Yeah, I think so. Will that be enough time for your wounds and your ego to heal?" she said smartly.
"I think I'll survive. Pick you up at 7?"
"Okay. See you then."
Demming flashed her a killer smile then headed towards the locker rooms. Kate sighed to herself contently as she watched him leave, still trying to regain her breath.
The sparring session left her in a much better mood than this morning. She hadn't expected to meet Demming here, much less agree to go on a date with him, but what the hell? He made her smile and helped her take her mind off Castle. Plus he had a great body and a gorgeous smile. He was exactly what she needed, a fresh start with someone new, someone real. No plays or misguided intentions.
Demming seemed genuine and trustworthy and was probably looking for an actual relationship. He was someone she could have a foreseeable future with.
You and I walk a fragile line
I have known it all this time
But I never thought I'd live to see it break
A/N: Merry (late) Christmas and happy New Year! Here's my gift to you.