A/N: I've edited this chapter (like the other ones). And I like to author's notes on top because I really want the title to be in the middle of the screen. Sorry for being slightly OCD (but I can't help it) XD

Chapter 3: Someone's a Bad Sport (aka Levi)

erwinsmith started a conversation with shortleviathan.

erwinsmith: Hello Levi. Can you let your squad know that we'll be leaving for the 44th expedition in two days' time?

shortleviathan: Sure, whatever.

erwinsmith: You seem more pissed off than usual.

shortleviathan: Tell me how you can conclude that from two words, a comma and a period.

erwinsmith: Because I've known you for many years. What's going on?

shortleviathan: Not much, but shitty glasses hasn't unlocked my account yet.

shortleviathan: I know she's doing it on purpose too.

erwinsmith: Don't worry, none of the soldiers will make fun of it to your face.

shortleviathan: I don't see what the point is if I already know they're laughing about it behind my back.

erwinsmith: Sorry...I'm just trying to cheer you up a bit.

shortleviathan: The only thing that could me happy at this point was if all the titans died.

shortleviathan: And if my squad stopped being such shitty brats...

shortleviathan started a conversation with titanscientist.

shortleviathan: Shitface

shortleviathan: Shitty glasses

shortleviathan: Titan freak

shortleviathan: Piece of crap

shortleviathan: ...

shortleviathan: Fuckface

shortleviathan: Fucking glasses

shortleviathan: I know you're there Hanji.

shortleviathan: Stop ignoring me.

shortleviathan: Or else I'm going to slice up Sawney to feed to Bean, you freak.

titanscientist: Okay okay stop this spamming :(

titanscientist: What do you want?

titanscientist: And don't bring my two lovely children into this!

shortleviathan: Children...you really are a freak.

shortleviathan: And you know what I want. Hurry up.

titanscientist: ?

shortleviathan: Do I actually have to spell it out for you, fuckface?

titanscientist: Why yes you do :) because I have absolutely no clue what you're going on about :D

shortleviathan: Unlock this damn account.

titanscientist: Well maybe I don't feel like it

titanscientist: Especially after calling me all those horrible names

shortleviathan: Sorry. Now change it.

titanscientist: I'm not convinced. That didn't sound very heartfelt.

shortleviathan: Fine. I'm sorry for calling you a freak when you obviously are.

titanscientist: Maybe I won't change it then

titanscientist: Whatcha gonna do about that?

titanscientist: High-kick my shins?

shortleviathan: That's it

shortleviathan: I'm fucking done

shortleviathan: We'll see who's laughing after I'm done with your favourite titan

titanscientist: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

titanscientist: I'M SORRY LEVI, PLEASE DON'T HURT SAWNEY AND BEAN

titanscientist: AND I DON'T HAVE FAVOURITES I LOVE THEM BOTH EQUALLY

titanscientist: COME ON LEVI, YOU KNOW I WAS JOKING

titanscientist: I'll change it right now!

titanscientist: Hello?

shortleviathan: The government deems it important not to sacrifice our two titan captives for the sake of humanity.

titanscientist: Huh? What are you going on about?

shortleviathan: But who said I was talking about the two titan freaks? I thought you knew who your favourite was...

titanscientist: Err what...?

shortleviathan: We'll see who's laughing after I take care of your third titan freak

titanscientist: Huh? What are you talking about?

titanscientist: Oh wait...

titanscientist: OH SHIT

titanscientist: I hope Eren doesn't hate me for this

titanscientist: But I should go save him first in case Levi actually kills him!

mikasassasin started a conversation with titandestroyer.

mikasassasin: Eren, wake up.

mikasassasin: Eren, wake up.

mikasassasin: Hurry before I come to your room and throw you against the wall.

titandestroyer: kay i'm up

titandestroyer: thanks for being my alarm clock

mikasassasin: No problem. I wouldn't want you to be late for breakfast and be punished again by that awful man.

titandestroyer: the corporal isn't that bad...i think he's just misunderstood

mikasassasin: He beat you up until you were half-dead.

titandestroyer: rather half-dead than actually dead and dissected, don't you think?

titandestroyer: anyways let's talk about something else, it's too early in the morning

titandestroyer: i'll meet you at the hall for breakfast

mikasassasin: Sounds good.

titandestroyer: i'll see you theoiajeoia;3-hrba

mikasassasin: Eren? What was that?

mikasassasin: Did you trip over the floor again?

mikasassasin: Hello? Are you okay?

mikasassasin: Eren?

titandestroyer: Eren is a bit...busy right now.

titandestroyer: You can blame Hanji for this mess.

mikasassasin: What? Who is this?

mikasassasin: I'm coming for you bastard

Several hours later...

titanscientist started a conversation with titandestroyer.

titanscientist: Oh dear, Eren. I'm really sorry

titanscientist: I didn't realize that I pissed Levi off that much

titanscientist: And I thought he was a patient man!

titandestroyer: said no one ever

titandestroyer: jkjk

titandestroyer: i'm okay now

titandestroyer: thank goodness for titan regenerative abilities

titandestroyer: or else i wouldn't even be able to walk

titanscientist: Wow Eren!

titanscientist: I didn't know you knew words that long.

titanscientist: I must record this in my observations!

titandestroyer: ...why does everyone assume i'm stupid

titanscientist: Because you are.

titanscientist: But again, sorry dearie

titanscientist: I promise I'll make it up to you!

titandestroyer: how about you keep shortleviathan as levi's name?

titanscientist: Actually...that was the reason why you got completely screwed in the first place.

titandestroyer: oh...nvm then

titanscientist: What else can I do for you?

titandestroyer: can i try some of that beer you guys always drink then?

titandestroyer: just a mug is fine

titanscientist: You're way underage...but who cares if it's just a cup?

titanscientist: Deal!

titandestroyer: cool :D oh btw, what's gonna happen to mikasa?

titanscientist: They've let her go, but there's a temporary restraining order on her

titanscientist: She's gotta be at least 10 metres away from him for a couple weeks

titandestroyer: ...

titanscientist: Trust me, it could be WAY worse.

titandestroyer: okay then...

titanscientist: Now that that's settled, are you ready for my next experiment?

titanscientist: After the spoon incident, I want to see what happens if I tell you to get the spoon from the tree?

titandestroyer: looking forward to it...

mikasassasin started a conversation with humanitystrongest.

mikasassasin: Lance Corporal Levi.

humanitystrongest: Ackerman, you know that the restraining order still remains.

mikasassasin: I know.

mikasassasin: I just wanted to apologize for sending you to the infirmary

humanitystrongest: You'd better. You're lucky that I have nothing worse than a few cuts to my head.

mikasassasin: Without breaking your leg or hurting some vitally important organ

humanitystrongest: ...

mikasassasin: You deserved it.

mikasassasin: Eren did nothing to you but you still made him scream in pain.

mikasassasin: I don't like seeing my family in pain.

humanitystrongest: The brat can handle it. He has a high pain tolerance and can regenerate relatively quickly.

mikasassasin: It doesn't mean that you can just rip him apart like he's your pet.

humanitystrongest: Actually, he is my pet. Didn't you hear what the judge said at Eren's trial? I'm responsible for him

humanitystrongest: I can do anything I want to him

humanitystrongest: Chain him to a wall, tie him up with rope, whip him, torture him

humanitystrongest: Have him panting, out of breath and barely conscious of his surroundings

humanitystrongest: Anything.

mikasassasin: You bastard.

mikasassasin: I see that you've changed your name

mikasassasin: Although it doesn't change the fact that you're still short

mikasassasin: If you're really "humanity's strongest", why don't you take me on?

mikasassasin: We'll see who's stronger then.

humanitystrongest: Changing tactics, eh? Very well then, Ackerman. I can't say no to a challenge.

humanitystrongest: Tomorrow by the barnyard at 0900.

mikasassasin: Bring it on shortie.

humanitystrongest: You are fucking dead.

BANG! Jean awoke, startled by Mikasa slamming her first against the flimsy wooden table before storming out of the mess hall.

What's her problem? Jean wondered as the beautiful girl disappeared from his sight.

Whatever...might as well get a few extra Z's before today's training.

Just as Jean was about to resume his nap, his eyes fell on a small silver device sitting at Mikasa's table. Amidst her frustration, she had forgotten to take her phone with her.

"Hey, Mikasa," Jean called out half-heartedly, even though she was long gone from the hall.

I'll just give it to her at morning training then. No biggie.

Jean was about to put the phone in his pocket when it suddenly vibrated. Unable to resist his curiosity, he checked the phone secreen. His eyes widened.

humanitystrongest: You are fucking dead.

What the fuck? Why is Levi telling her that she's dead? I've got to help her!

Being the curious cat that he was, Jean unlocked Mikasa's phone and began reading through her exchange between Levi. His face paled as he read each sentence...but for a different reason.

Scream in pain...chained...tied with rope...whipped...tortured...panting...barely conscious...?

Jean didn't even realize he was speaking out loud. "Since when were Levi and Eren screwing with each other?"

"Wait, what?"

Author's Note

So I was writing the texts, and things got out of control between Mikasa and Levi...I have a very crazy imagination. But at least I know what to write for the next chapter :D Also, I normally won't write in a normal third-person POV like I did with Jean, but I just couldn't resist for this chapter. Even Shakespeare knows how funny and powerful misunderstanding can be (yeah I'm talking to you Midsummer Night's Dream and just about every drama that he wrote).

You guys are awesome! Thank you Yoruko-Chan, 26, Peque Saltamontes, Ane Momsen and kishirinrin for reviewing! I'm glad I can make you guys laugh :D

Also, sorry in advance for any errors. Let me know if you see any!

My offer for you to submit a scenario or prompt is still up! Just post in the reviews or private message me :D