Chapter 4: Mikasa is a Great Improviser

"Since when were Levi and Eren screwing with each other?"

"Wait, what?"

Jean's head snapped upright. He turned around to see Connie, holding a half-eaten piece of bread. The short teen had a shocked and confused look on his face.

"What did you just say?" Connie asked insistently.

"N-nothing!" Jean exclaimed. "I said the weather looks great today, right, Connie?" His arms began flailing around.

Connie thought that Jean had somehow lost it and become possessed, but then he realized that Jean was (not so inconspicuously) reminding him of the dozen or so people that were still eating in the mess hall.

"Oh...ha ha definitely. It's so beautiful today!" Connie tried to go along with Jean's over-exaggerated act, but he sounded fake. Thankfully, no one was paying any attention to the two morons. No one seemed to notice anything out of the ordinary. Those two always acted like idiots anyway.

"So I'm gonna go outside and get some fresh air," Jean said to Connie, his eye twitching erratically as he cleared his dishes. "I'll see you at training, Connie."

"Umm...bye," Connie replied awkwardly. He watched Jean (still with a slightly mortified expression on his face) leave the dimly-lit room. He didn't even notice Sasha slyly swiping his remaining bread from his plate.

What the fuck just happened right now?

jeanchevaljean started a conversation with fuzzypeaches.

jeanchevaljean: are you fucking retarded or something?!

fuzzypeaches: yeah apparently, cause i have NO CLUE what's going on

fuzzypeaches: why don't you enlighten me, horseface?

jeanchevaljean: fuck you

jeanchevaljean: okay so i was reading through mikasa's texts to levi

fuzzypeaches: whoa whoa hold up there

fuzzypeaches: there's too many things wrong with what you just said

jeanchevaljean: eh? it's not my grammar, right?

fuzzypeaches: no! dude, first you said mikasa and the corporal are texting each other

jeanchevaljean: i know, right?

fuzzypeaches: but more importantly...WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU READING MIKASA'S TEXTS YOU CREEPER

fuzzypeaches: i didn't know you were that desperate

jeanchevaljean: ...

jeanchevaljean: no no this isn't what it looks like

fuzzypeaches: oh really...

jeanchevaljean: she left her phone at the table after getting mad about something

jeanchevaljean: and i planned on giving it back to her at training

jeanchevaljean: but the phone started vibrating and shit

jeanchevaljean: what was i supposed to do?

fuzzypeaches: ignore it you dipshit...

fuzzypeaches: whatever, so what happened next?

jeanchevaljean: so then i saw the incoming text from levi

jeanchevaljean: and it said YOU ARE FUCKING DEAD

fuzzypeaches: so...

fuzzypeaches: are you saying that to me, or is that what was actually on the text?

jeanchevaljean: both!

jeanchevaljean: oh wait...i meant actually on the text

fuzzypeaches: ...

fuzzypeaches: you're fucking dead too

jeanchevaljean: sorry dude, i wasn't thinking

fuzzypeaches: you finally figured it out eh?

jeanchevaljean: screw you connie

jeanchevaljean: and so anyway i was freaked out and i started reading through their texts to see if i could help mikasa

fuzzypeaches: i think the last person she needs helping her is you

fuzzypeaches: she's stronger than ten of us combined

fuzzypeaches: hate to admit it, but she's even stronger than me

jeanchevaljean: ...says the one who had a lower ranking than me

fuzzypeaches: touché...maybe we should stop this dissing for a few moments...we're getting off on a tangent here

fuzzypeaches: truce?

jeanchevaljean: only if i get to say one more insulting thing to you

jeanchevaljean: then that'll make it even

fuzzypeaches: ...shoot

jeanchevaljean: i didn't know you were even smart enough to know what tangent means

fuzzypeaches: sigh...okay so then what?

fuzzypeaches: i promise i won't interrupt until the end of your story

jeanchevaljean: kay so i started scrolling up and reading

jeanchevaljean: and there was stuff about eren in there too...and something about mikasa attacking levi

fuzzypeaches: what, seriously?

jeanchevaljean: no interrupting, fuzzy peaches!

fuzzypeaches: *zips mouth shut*

jeanchevaljean: and levi wrote that he could do anything he wanted to eren since he's responsible for him

jeanchevaljean: and it listed a bunch of kinky stuff, like bdsm and bondage shit

fuzzypeaches: O.O

fuzzypeaches: like what?

jeanchevaljean: "Chain him to a wall, tie him up with rope, whip him, torture him"

fuzzypeaches: but the military police have done that to him already

jeanchevaljean: "Have him panting, out of breath and barely conscious of his surroundings"

jeanchevaljean: levi's exact words

fuzzypeaches: ...it does sound incriminating, but it still seems like just typical stuff, beating the shit out of eren

fuzzypeaches: cause who wouldn't?

jeanchevaljean: i agree with you on that

jeanchevaljean: but the important thing is that mikasa got mad and challenged levi to a fight!

fuzzypeaches: SAY WHAT?

jeanchevaljean: and they're fighting at the barnyard at 9 tomorrow morning

fuzzypeaches: OMG we have to go watch this!

fuzzypeaches: i'll prepare the baked potato chips

jeanchevaljean: oh shit..

fuzzypeaches: what?

jeanchevaljean: the text was sent yesterday...so that means they're fighting TODAY

jeanchevaljean: IN LESS THAN FIFTEEN MINUTES

fuzzypeaches: HOLY SHIT LET'S GO

fuzzypeaches: FRONT ROW SEATS MAN

jeanchevaljean: but mikasa! she's gonna get hurt!

fuzzypeaches: she's a tank, if anyone can handle levi, it's her

fuzzypeaches: now get over your crush and let's watch some action

fuzzypeaches: last one there's a horseface!

fuzzypeaches started a conversation with potatopotahto.

fuzzypeaches: yo sasha

potatopotahto: yeah?

fuzzypeaches: fight going on in the barnyard right now

potatopotahto: between who? if it's between eren and jean again then i'm not going

fuzzypeaches: corporal levi and mikasa

potatopotahto: ...

potatopotahto: save me a spot

potatopotahto: i'll bring my baked potato chips

fuzzypeaches: :D

strategicpoint started a conversation with titandestroyer.

strategicpoint: Eren!

titandestroyer: ...what is it armin

strategicpoint: Rumour's spread that Corporal Levi and Mikasa are fighting at the barnyard right now

titandestroyer: what? you're kidding me

strategicpoint: Nope. I heard it from Sasha while she was sprinting there

strategicpoint: And everyone's coming along too

titandestroyer: sasha's probably just faking it for attention

titandestroyer: and i don't believe that crap...there's no reason for them to fight anyway

strategicpoint: Umm...don't you remember how Levi has a restraining order on her now? Cause of you?

titandestroyer: no cause it was cause of freaking hanji ;; i was just the unsuspecting victim

strategicpoint: ...Well, I'm going to go check it out, so I guess I'll let you know if something's going on.

titandestroyer: sure, sure

Ten minutes later...

strategicpoint: Oh my god, Eren. They're actually fighting.

titandestroyer: who?

strategicpoint: Levi and Mikasa, you idiot! They're actually fighting!

titandestroyer: O.O

titandestroyer: I hope you're not trolling me

strategicpoint: Nope, they're battling without their 3DMG

strategicpoint: It's pretty crazy. They're jumping from roofs and flying 3 metres in the air even without their gear

strategicpoint: And they're throwing projectiles and weapons at each other...what the...

titandestroyer: shit...

strategicpoint: ...Oh boy

titandestroyer: ?

strategicpoint: Jean said they're fighting over YOU

strategicpoint: YOU, Eren.

strategicpoint: What the hell did you do again?

titandestroyer: WHAT

titandestroyer: WHAT DO YOU MEAN AGAIN

titandestroyer: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW

titandestroyer: i'll be there in 5

strategicpoint: It might be over by then...

wreckingball started a conversation with lionheart and hooverdam.

wreckingball: Hey, were you guys there when the fight was going on?

wreckingball: I was in the showers so I didn't hear Sasha screaming it to the entire squad

hooverdam: Yeah, it was pretty intense

hooverdam: It was like watching a kung fu movie

wreckingball: So who won?

lionheart: No one.

lionheart: Bertholdt, it's called wushu. And wushu implies that there is physical contact

wreckingball: No one won? And what about the wushu, Annie?

lionheart: They didn't even touch each other

lionheart: As soon as the fight began, Levi reminded her of the restraining order

lionheart: And Mikasa decided to throw projectiles like shovels, rakes and knives at him instead

hooverdam: They would have kept fighting if Erwin and Hanji hadn't stepped in and pried the two apart

wreckingball: Damn...all that hype and no one won

hooverdam: Maybe next time...

lionheart: Don't worry Reiner. There will be a next time...

Author's Note

Well then...I feel like this fanfic is more on crack each time XD I just want to say thanks to Yoruko-Chan, Kamakiri, 26 and HarmonyBenderFreak for reviewing! You guys (and all my other followers) are awesome!

No promises, but I might update more often since classes have ended for me (yay!). But I have to spent that free time studying for finals so...we'll see how it goes along.

Follow and review if you enjoyed this chapter, and let me know if there are any mistakes or any suggestions that you could make to improve TFSC!

Merci beaucoup, mes amis!