Chapter 23 From Where You Are

It was midnight when Rick Castle entered the hotel lobby with a tipsy blonde woman clinging onto his arm. They had just returned from his latest book release and signing party in Paris.

He hadn't particularly enjoyed the party, as was the trend of late, so he decided to dip and crash early. The party was still in full swing when they left, but Rick insisted on going back to his room. The pair staggered into the elevator and ascended the luxurious building to his floor.

"Come on," he coaxed as the elevator doors opened. The blonde giggled and followed his lead. He stopped in front of his hotel room door and dug into his pocket to find his wallet.

Keycard in hand, Rick fumbled with it as he tried to unlock his room while simultaneously holding up the woman that was leaning on him for support. Single-handedly, he successfully managed to manipulate the plastic card to the right orientation and into the slot.

"Ugh finally," Rick groaned when the light lit green. He opened the door and helped Gina through the threshold first.

"I can walk by myself." Gina tried to push him away. "I'm not that drunk. Just a little tipsy…" When she started to stumble, Rick caught her before she lost her balance.

"Right…" he said.

Rick decided that having her walk in 5 inch heels while less than sober was a potential hazard to her safety. He really would rather have her uninjured and the hotel furniture all in one piece.

Instead of risking disaster, Rick picked Gina up in a swift movement and carried her across the hotel room.

"Always the chivalrous one, aren't you?" Gina muttered. "Like a knight in shining whatever…"

"Just trying to help. I don't want you getting hurt…" Rick replied as he brought her to the bed, setting her down gently.

"Hmm thanks," she mumbled.

Gina sat up and smirked. "This brings back many memories…" she looked into his eyes. She held his gaze unbroken as she reached out for his tie, loosening the knot at the top. Her hands started slowly unbuttoning Rick's shirt, one by one.

"What are you doing Gina?" Rick asked, confused.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Gina countered in a low, sultry voice. Her eyes fluttered down to his lips as she gradually leaned forward to close the distance between them. When impatience got the better of her, she grabbed his collar and tugged him closer to indulge her undisclosed desire.

Gina let her mouth crash onto Rick's, once again tasting those familiar lips pressed against hers. She kissed him hard and passionately, catching him by surprise.

"Mmm…" she moaned. "God, I missed this."

The kiss caught Rick completely off guard. It took him a few seconds to re-orient himself but he quickly pulled away, breaking the kiss. "Gina, stop. You're drunk."

"I know exactly what I'm doing and exactly what I want. And right now what I want is you," she declared pointedly. Gina dug her hands into his hair and leaned in for another kiss, but Rick pushed her away.

"Well this isn't what I want," Rick replied.

"We're in the country of love. No sense in indulging in all this beauty and romance alone," she tempted with a suggestive twinkle in her eye. "This is our last night in Paris. Let's make some unforgettable memories together."

Gina let her hands roam his chest and worked open a few more buttons. As her hands wandered even further down, she started undoing his belt buckle.

"I said no," Rick said firmly, standing up.

"Seriously?" Gina asked incredulously. "When have you ever turned me down?"

"I know you're not used to hearing 'no' for an answer, but there's a first time for everything," he replied sarcastically.

"Oh, come on. For old times' sake…" she enticed. "We were great together."

"We had our moments, but that's long over now."

"What's wrong with you?" Gina frowned. "Where's the Richard Castle I fell in love with? The passionate, spontaneous, adventurous lover."

"I'm still him," Rick defended.

Gina scoffed. "He would've said yes to me in a heartbeat."

Rick rolled his eyes and looked away. Gina scrutinized his face carefully, searching for an explanation to his reluctance.

After a momentary pause, realization dawned on her. "I know what this is about…" Gina started. "That detective of yours. I know you've been playing house with her for the past few months. That's why you don't want to hook up with me isn't it?"

"Yes, I am currently seeing her. I'm a lot of things Gina, but a cheater isn't one of them," Rick said with a hint of bitterness in his voice. He could feel the anger rising in his chest when Gina insinuated that his relationship with Kate was just pretend.

"Come on. We both know you're not the domestic type," she taunted.

"Well, maybe I have changed."

"Yeah right. You could've had that with me but you didn't want it. We could have been good together."

"Yeah, it was great up until you cheated on me," Rick said scathingly. He instantly regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. Great. That was going to open up some nasty wounds.

Things had been going quite smoothly with Gina so far during the trip. They were talking just like they used to and Rick even enjoyed her company at times, over dinner or at the parties. She served well to deter the sycophantic young women that frequented his events looking for a glimpse of the high life. Their relationship actually seemed to be well mended since the fallout of their marriage. But his stupid mouth just had to bring up the old scars. He really needed to think before he spoke.

Gina's demeanor changed suddenly at the biting accusation in his words. They were a sobering reminder of the mistakes of her past that had caused them both much heartache. Rick could see a flicker of pain flash across her face, but she quickly masked it with disgust.

"Ugh, that again. You always have to drag my name through the mud don't you? We've talked about this. We both agreed that we were at a bad time in our relationship."

"I know," he sighed. It was cheap of him to play that card, but she wasn't taking 'no' for an answer. That was a dirty last resort tactic.

"I don't blame you for how our relationship ended," Rick conceded. "It was bound to end one way or another, regardless of your actions. There's a reason why we ended things. Neither of us was happy."

"So what's stopping you now? What's a hookup to you?"

Rick pondered for a moment. "My heart's set somewhere else…" he said quietly.

"With her?" she offered, referring to Beckett.

"Yeah."

"Fine, whatever" Gina remarked curtly.

"Look, I'm sorry for bringing that up. It's water under the bridge. We've been civil with each for the entire trip. I don't want to mess that up now…" Rick tried.

She considered his apology. "I get it. You have a thing with her and you want to honor it. It's the respectable thing to do."

"I know. I'm sorry if I made you think anything otherwise."

"Is it even serious?"

The question gave him pause. He didn't know what Kate's answer to that question would be but he knew what his was.

"Yeah, it is. I love her." That was the first time he'd ever admitted it to someone else. To his second ex-wife, of all people.

It felt good saying it out loud. It gave it substance and sincerity.

"Oh…" Gina trailed off. She could see the truthfulness in his eyes.

Richard Castle wasn't one to throw around those words lightly. Gina knew that he had changed over the past two years since he has been working with Beckett. Even she could see it in the short time they've been together on the trip. He was less terminal bachelor and more homebody. Kate Beckett had somehow managed to tame the wild stallion.

"Hmm… well then. Good for you. I hope it works out for you."

Rick was taken aback. He couldn't help but be skeptical about her wishes. "Are you just saying that to be polite? You literally just tried to seduce me..." he questioned.

Gina sighed and looked at him earnestly. "Believe it or not, I really did care about you once. I do want you to be happy. I can tell that you've changed because of her. She must really be important to you. And if she makes you happy then that's a good thing. You deserve it."

The nature of her honesty surprised him. "Thanks, Gina. That's really big of you," Rick replied genuinely.

"I do have a heart you know," she sighed. "I'm sorry about what I said about being all domestic or whatever," Gina apologized softly.

"I'm sorry about bringing up the cheating thing too. I forgave you about it a while ago," Rick said sheepishly.

"Thanks. You really are a great guy, Rick." Gina gave him a small smile. "It's too bad we didn't work out together…" she yawned.

"Yeah…"

"Well I'm going to bed," she stated, kicking off her high heels. When Gina started undressing, Rick looked away.

"Remind me again why we had to share a room again?" he questioned.

"They only had one suite left. And I thought it wouldn't be a problem."

"It's not," Rick replied, heading to the bathroom. "I'm going to wash up and go to bed too. Good night."

"Night."

In the bathroom Rick sighed at his reflection in the mirror. Things were going to be slightly uneasy between them for the rest of the trip. At least they only had a few more weeks left on the tour. If he could survive the strained situations and seemingly interminable parties, then he'd be home free.

Rick turned on the faucet and splashed some water onto his face to keep his mind focused. He had a few drinks at the party, but he was glad that he was sober enough to make good choices. Gina was definitely tempting. She was gorgeous and incredibly alluring. He might have even said yes to her if he weren't currently seeing Kate. There was a reason he'd been married to her once but that was definitely over now. He didn't have any lingering feelings or regrets towards her. He was with Kate now and he was happy.

After brushing his teeth and changing into pajamas, Rick returned to the adjacent queen beds and found Gina fast asleep beneath the plush sheets. Thank god there were two beds in the room. At least he would be spared awkward nights. He would have a hard time explaining that one to Kate…

Rick climbed into his respective bed and settled in under the covers. He let his mind wander back to Kate as he thought about the events that had just transpired. Rick thought about the words he had said.

His heart was definitely set with her. He was in love with her. But did she feel the same way? It bothered him that he didn't know how she felt. Uncertainty gnawed away in the back of Rick's mind. It was strange that they never talked about where they were and where they were headed. He was tired of pretending that what they were doing meant little or nothing to him. He was tired of having to hide how he truly felt about her.

He wanted more. They both deserved more. They might have started things on a "friends with benefits" front, but that was just a façade to test the waters. Now that he'd had a taste, he was addicted. Now he was ready to dive in. He wanted to drown in an ocean of her. Rick considered Kate's lingering reluctance to establish an actual relationship with him. She probably didn't want to define them because she was protecting herself; she was scared to let him in. But it was time they moved forward. It was time they defined what they were.

Rick considered what he would say to her. He didn't want to push her too forcefully. Relationships were a two-person effort and he didn't want to take more than she would give. It would be selfish of him to do so. If he pushed too much, she might pull away. Instead, he should give her honesty, put his heart on the line and she would choose for herself. He decided he would tell her how he felt about her and what his intentions were. By letting himself show his vulnerable side to her, she would see that he was genuine and serious in seeking a deeper commitment with her.

Scenarios of how the conversation would play out formulated in his mind. He would tell her how much he missed her during his trip. He would tell her that he's been evaluating their relationship and that he wanted more. That they should be a real couple, official and exclusive. And that he loved her. Those three words. I love you. They would change everything for the better. Then a smile would light up her face and she would kiss him passionately and say "I love you" back. Or she would freak out and be at a loss for words.

He amused himself by imagining all the possible ways she would react. But all of them ended in the same way—hot "welcome home" slash "I love you" sex. That was definitely going to happen.

Thinking about her made him yearn for home even more. He missed all the little things about her. The smell of her hair, the way she rested in his arms when they cuddled, even the way she rolled her eyes at him when he did something goofy. The way her lips pouted a bit when she was thinking. That brilliant, contagious smile that could illuminate a whole room. Rick couldn't wait to be back home to see her again. To be with her again. Those were his last thoughts for the night before he drifted off to sleep, dreaming sweet dreams of her.

Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me

A/N: Happy (day after) Independence Day! The 4th of July will be an event later in this fic. Too bad I didn't write it in real time :(. But oh well.