Well, I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
~I Won't Give Up-Jason Mraz~
The agents of SI:7 assigned to assist the Archmage were among the very best in their chosen specialty. However, even with their considerable skill, tracking a deadly Warden who did not wish to be found was no small feat. They uncovered rumors aplenty but nothing ever seemed to pan out. The undercover agents on Draenor fared no better.
Khadgar spent his time with Garona, going over Gul'Dan's weaknesses. He needed a blueprint of the lair, but with no manpower to spare it had to wait. Garona offered to go in on her own and steal them from the architects but Khadgar would not allow her to leave the garrison.
She was not the same Garona that he had known all those years ago, this one did not have the same life, had not made the same choices. This Garona had never known freedom. She had been a slave to Gul'Dan her entire life. Her adjustment from slave to emancipated was hard won. She went through a range of emotions that she had never been permitted to experience before, and her reactions to the simplest things often moved Khadgar deeply. When he told her that the Garona of his timeline had had a son, she wept openly, mostly due to the realization that someone somewhere had found her deserving enough to be a mother, something she believed she would never be. Khadgar was able to sympathise with her on that, and reassured her that if it were possible for him, it would happen for her and hopefully in a much happier way than the alternate Garona had suffered.
He valued her fledgling friendship. She worked with the teams in trying to locate Cordana. Garona felt she owed the Kaldorei her life as well and she did whatever she could to further their efforts.
It was just after Khaidric turned 12 weeks that she noticed the baby was not doing very well.
"Khadgar," she said, approaching him as he sat by the fountain with the baby. "Your son is not thriving."
He looked up at her in shock. "Why would you say such a thing Garona?"
She sat beside him and touched the sleeping baby's face. "Since I first was freed, he has changed a great deal and not for the better. You are his father, can you not see it?"
He looked down at his son. "I see my child, whom I love more than words can express. Your unkind words wound me Garona and I do not understand them."
"Listen to me, and trust that I see through the blindness of your love. He is not thriving, Khadgar. He sleeps endlessly, does not wake properly, will not react nor play with anyone. This is not the child that I came to know, and I am worried for him."
She reached for Khaidric and took him in her arms, then lay him on her lap. Uncovering him from the blanket, she worked to rouse him. He did not respond. She picked him up and held him so his feet touched the cold water of the fountain. The baby just hung there, disinterested, eyes barely open.
"Do you see? Any child would show great offense at feeling this cold on his warm feet! An Orcish or Draenei child would scream and try to fight!"
"He is part Kaldorei. They are not as the others," said Khadgar.
"Then rouse him! Prove me wrong. He does not react appropriately."
Khadgar took his son from Garona, and held him up. "Khaidric!" he said. "Hey little guy! Show Garona your wonderful smile, can you do that for me?"
Khaidric hung there limply, his eyes drooping closed. "He is just tired, Garona. Babies sleep many hours a day."
Garona shook her head. "This goes beyond normal my friend. Something is wrong! Heed my words!"
Khadgar wiggled a finger into the tiny fist as he always had done, but the little boy did not grasp it.
"Oh, Khaidric, my son..." he said softly, sorrow filling his eyes. He stood, picking up the blanket. "Leave me be, Garona," he said, and began walking away.
"I will not," she said following him. "You need help, and I shall see that you get it."
Rashana held Khaidric in her arms. "It has been a long time since he had proper nourishment. He cannot live from goat's milk alone, Khadgar," she said. "He is not a goat, and their bodies do not provide what a Kaldorei child needs. He must remain here in Sanctuary and be cared for by our women."
Khadgar rankled. "Absolutely not! I am his father and his place is with me!"
She turned on him harshly. "Silence your selfish tongue! This child is fading, do you hear me? He will not last another month being fed from the milk of an animal! Your human offspring may be able to sustain themselves in this way but not so for a Kaldorei, and at least half of Khaidric is of Cordana's blood!"
Khadgar sighed heavily. "He...he is all I have!"
"He is not all you have! You have a mate somewhere out there, and instead of delegating the task to others, you should be the one searching for her!"
"My magic is ineffective! I am unable to locate her with the arcane! I have the best teams on this task and they shall prevail."
Rashana shook her head in disgust. "And how are they carrying out this task? Magic is ineffective so they are working on this a different way...is there something wrong with you that you cannot join them? Are you legs broken so you cannot walk? Are your arms twisted and useless that you cannot move every mountain in your way? You have grown arrogant and entitled with your great power, Archmage Khadgar. Is this the role model you would have for your precious son?"
Khadgar was silent. He had indeed withdrawn and allowed everyone else to take charge while he remained mired in his feeling of betrayal and disappointment. He did not know how to be anything but an Archmage. He had no clue how to be a proper husband, and even less on how to be a father. Now there was this situation that his magic could not fix. If not for Garona, his son may have died. The thought of losing the only living beings that gave his life meaning shattered him and he placed his face in his hands and wept. He felt like the little boy he had once been, sent to Castle Karazhan, afraid, vulnerable and alone, to face a harsh master. On that day he had felt powerless and weak, and he did so again. What else was there besides his magic? What other means did he have to fight against the Fel and find his wife? He might as well be a child facing a dragon with a wooden sword and shield.
Rashana knelt beside him, a comforting hand on his arm. "You can do this, Archmage. There is more than one way to do what must be done. Search inside yourself for the answers. Find Cordana and bring her home," she spoke softly, kindly. "Khaidric will be here safe and loved and you can come and see him whenever you like. You will see, he will be back to health in a very short time."
Khadgar spent several days going to Cordana's sacred grove. At first he was excited, as there seemed to be some evidence of her presence there, but she did not appear. He chided himself for thinking she would happily just show up and start speaking to him and he could just bring her home as though they had had a lover's quarrel.
He had come to admit to himself it was far more serious than he had figured. There was a chance that his beloved would never be found. There was also a chance that she would never come home, that things were not going to return to the way they were even if they did find her. Khadgar wondered what he would do, how he would raise Khaidric on his own. There were many single parents throughout Azeroth and Draenor. It was not unusual, but it was most certainly not what he wanted.
I did not want things to be this way, he thought unhappily as he walked around Darnassus with Khaidric. I never believed I could love and be loved so deeply, and when that reality manifested I thought it would never change. What a foolish old man I have been.
His son was indeed looking much better. He was brighter and more responsive and Khadgar was immensely grateful to Rashana and the other Kaldorei. He had done his best to help search for Cordana but it was nothing short of frustrating and fruitless. He spent many lonely nights in the Tower or the garrison, and occasionally even stayed at Sanctuary, the first human allowed to do so, although they kept him far on the fringes initially. Skylar told him that the little cottage he moved to was the very same one Cordana had lived in before Khaidric was born.
Her presence was everywhere. He was flooded with memories of their time together, and too often it brought him to tears. The Archmage had become accustomed to allowing his feelings to freely be expressed. He no longer cared what the world saw or what it thought. His many years of repressing his feelings, of putting on a brave front were gone. He felt like a raw, open wound walking about, stumbling from place to place wracked with pain and loss. He wanted his Cordana back. He cared nothing for anything else but that.
Khaidric was nearing 18 weeks when Jarrod came to Sanctuary. The Archmage had been playing in the grass with the baby and looked up to see his friend. Jarrod's face was grave, and Khadgar's heart froze.
"My friend you must return to the garrison," the Kaldorei sire said.
Khadgar picked up his son. "There is news of my wife?"
Jarrod gave a slight nod. "Brace yourself friend, it is not good."
The Archmage swallowed hard. "Does she live? Tell me!"
Jarrod nodded. "Yes, but..."
"Then it is good news!" cried Khadgar.
"I would like you to meet Sidore," said Jarral. "She has been part of the SI:7 squad here on Draenor. Her specialty is deep cover missions."
A young, very young Kaldorei certainly no more than the equivalent of 18 human years, stepped out from the shadows. She carried the markings of the butterfly clan, her indigo hair in two pigtails on the side of her head. She was accompanied by an older human male and a middle aged human female. All three were dressed in tight fitting suits of black.
"She is here with Roderick Grey and Amber Kearnan."
The humans nodded but stepped back, giving Sidore the spotlight. She turned to Khadgar.
"I found Cordana," she said in a soft and surprisingly shy voice. "She is in a fortress to the north, its full of orcs and demon summoners."
Khadgar was barely breathing. "She is alive?" he was afraid to ask.
Sidore nodded. "Yes."
Khadgar looked at Jaaral. "Then we must go and retrieve her at once!"
"She isn't a prisoner though," said Sidore. "She lives there, with her mate, a Sin'Dorei."
All color drained from Khadgar's face. "What? That cannot be, you are mistaken. I am her mate! Me!"
Sidore's eyes widened and she looked at Amber who lay a reassuring hand on her arm.
Jaaral rested a heavy hand on the Archmage's shoulder. "Things are not as they seem, Khadgar, let us here what must be said then we will discuss it."
Jarrod described Maiev and asked Sidore if a female of their race matching that description had also been there.
"I am not sure what she looks like but there was a Warden there sometimes with her. I thought they were friends."
"Tell me about this Sin'Dorei my wife was seen with," said Khadgar darkly, anger growing inside him with every breath.
Sidore looked uneasily at her companions, but the woman nodded to her. Khadgar could be intense when emotional and as a Kaldorei she was sensitive to such energy.
"He is pretty," she said. "He is usually with her but not all the time. Sometimes that Warden is there. The Sin'Dorei is nice to her, I never saw him yell at her or do anything mean. I thought it was her mate because he always touches her and smiles at her. There is a room that I couldn't get into, that they go in a few times a day. So do other people. I think there are orbs in there but I'm not sure. The orbs are used to hypnotize people."
The silence in the room was palpable.
"Tell him about the rituals, Sidore," said the male human quietly.
"Umm...a few times I saw her do a ritual. She made a shape on the ground and stood in it and it made her glow all green and it was scary. Once there was an orb in her hand but I didn't see it every time. She looked in it, the Sin'Dorei would tell her to and he would show her things and sometimes it made her really sad, other times she got mad and threw it at the wall. I wish I could have seen what he showed her but I couldn't get too close. She can detect stealth, and because she is the same as me she can do it even easier."
Amber turned to Roderick and whispered something, and he nodded, leading Sidore away. Amber faced Khadgar.
"Archmage, as I am sure you are aware, Sidore is very young. She was given this task because of her incredible tracking ability and stealth. She was not told anything about the mission other than to find your wife. We did not even tell Sidore what Cordana's relationship is to you. What she saw in the fortress is a very incomplete story. While Sidore seems to believe that Cordana is living there by choice, that is subjective to her viewpoint and not necessarily the truth. On speaking with Sidore immediately after her discovery, it seemed evident to both Roderick and I that there is some sort of enchantment placed over many of the residents there. I am unsure of the role this Sin'Dorei plays, if he is her jailor or simply another victim and they have found a kinship. We are willing to send Sidore back inside for more information."
Jaaral felt the tension in Khadgar, like a spring being wound tighter and tighter ready to release at any moment.
"Thank you," he said. "You may go, we will talk amongst ourselves and let you know our decision. You have our deepest gratitude for your assistance. Please make my garrison your home and we will be with you soon."
Amber nodded and strode out. Toriona went with her, leaving Jaaral, Garona and Jarrod with Khadgar.
The Archmage sat silently, staring at the floor. No one spoke. When the silence was broken it was by Khadgar and his voice was hard and edgy.
"No more clandestine operations. I need to know where this place is, and I will go and get Cordana and bring her home."
Jaaral nodded. "I will put together a complement of men. We will include some mages, and..."
"No!" Khadgar cut him off. "No armies. I do not need them, they would risk themselves needlessly."
"My friend, you cannot do this alone. I know you are upset. We will do this together."
Khadgar stood up suddenly and faced all of them, his voice low and menacing. "None of you, nor any army will be able to do what I can. Nothing will stop me from bringing my wife home. When I am done, there will not be anything left of that vile Iron Horde base."
Before anyone could respond, Khadgar had teleported himself away in the blink of an eye.