You are all amazing! I never thought this story would've got 10 reviews at first. Now it has 150+ reviews and almost 100 follows and 50 favorites. I mean… wow. Among all CO stories my story has the biggest number of followers and… I can't believe how well liked this story has got. This is just amazing. Thank you, all of you. I love you all.

And I need to explain one thing here about this following chapter. 'Harper Avery Award' is a fictional award (Well I did google it and it doesn't exits haha) So, it doesn't have any rules either. Therefore, I've invented one rule for it that doctors of American hospitals, outside the US, are also able to be nominated for this award. Cristina got a job offer in 'the American Hospital of Paris', so it's possible for her to win an award.

Please enjoy the 14th chapter. :)

4 years ago

"Dr. Cristina Yang!" Dr. Avery announced. "The youngest winner of Harper Avery award is the young, talented Dr. Cristina Yang. Her 3D printed conduit saved a baby's life and won her a Harper Avery Award."

Cristina's heart was beating out of her chest. She did know it was gonna be her who won that year's award, but it didn't make her any less excited or nervous. But still, she felt a huge smile form her lips slowly. She got up from her seat and started walking up the stage. Dr. Avery stepped aside and let her stand behind the tribune. Cristina gulped hard and adjusted the microphone to the level of her mouth. She looked at all the eyes looking at her, all of those people and all of those cameras. She gulped again and started giving her speech.

Everyone clapped for her after her speech and Catherine Avery stepped forward with the Golden-like award in her hands. In a symbolic way, Doctor Cristina Yang was handed the award.

Cristina felt like she would drop it because her hands were shaking. Almost ten years ago, she had stepped out of the Med school, just having become a doctor. Ten years passed and her biggest dream came true, she became a goddess. She became what she always worshipped and now she was worshipped. She held the award as if she was holding the earth, with power. She always called herself a Cardio goddess, but now she was a goddess.

Her biggest dream had come true and she knew she would be the happiest person ever. This was everything she'd always wanted. She would work harder and harder to make that dream come true multiple times, but for now she felt like she was given the world.

She stepped down the stage after all of the ceremony was over and went among the guests. Thousands of people wanted to talk to her, interview with her, take pictures with her. She was thinking about fleeing and go back to her hotel to spare herself all of that trouble, but she couldn't just go.

"Dr. Cristina Yang! Congratulations to you," she heard some familiar voice calling her name and turned on her hills.

"Alex! You came?"

Alex laughed and hugged Cristina hard. "I had to come so I could be jealous," he said as he let go of her.

Cristina smiled and looked down. "Thank you," she said softly.

He just shook his head and pulled her in for another hug. Neither of them were huggers and they really didn't like to do it in general, but they were two friends seeing each other after a year. They just missed each other so much. "I can't stay here much longer I have a flight back to Seattle tonight, so I will just eat and drink as much as I can and then go."

"Oh, ok," Cristina nodded, though she wouldn't mind if she had Alex around for some more time with her. He was the only one left for her after all. "Is it only you… who-who came…?" she asked hesitantly after a minutes.

Alex knew what she meant. She wanted to know if whether Owen or Meredith had come also, for the ceremony. He shook his head lightly. Owen had been busy raising his adopted daughter and Meredith was so jealous when she heard the news that she would've murdered Cristina in the ceremony if she'd come.

Cristina nodded lightly, looking down. "Of course…" she muttered and then looked up, plastering a big smile on her face." Help yourself with the food, I'll go see some people," she said and with that walked off.

One week later

Cristina replaced her award on the shelf for the thousandth time. Nodding and smiling, she grabbed the cloth and dusted it off and her smile grew bigger. "Perfect," she muttered and then, walked out of study room of her apartment. With the smile still on her face, she walked to the balcony and took in the fresh air into her lungs and let it out happily. Life was perfect for her, so perfect. She'd won herself a Harper Avery Award, what she'd always dreamed about, she was a Cardio goddess, and she was the best American surgeon of the year. She had the perfect life she'd always wanted and it made her utterly happy. Life was perfect and she was happy. Life was perfect and she was happy. Life was perfect and she was happy. She believed that… or pretended to believe.

Life was perfect and she was happy. She had to repeat over and over so she would believe that she really believed that.

Life was perfect and she was happy.

If she didn't keep telling herself that, she would start to think.

You make me sad. You think that surgery is going to make you feel, you think a successful career is gonna make you happy, you think you know things, you know things and nothing else matters. No one else matters. People do matter. I mat-

She shook her head vigorously and took a deep breath. "What the hell…" she muttered. "I am happy. Life's perfect. Nothing else matters. I am happy," she muttered under her breath and rushed back in the room.

Life is perfect. I am Happy. Nothing else matters.

One month later.

"Ugh," Cristina groaned and opened her eyes reluctantly. "It's freakin'…" she started, then paused, looking at the digital clock. "… 3 in the morning!" She picked up her pager and read the message. ER, 911. She sighed heavily and got off the bed, dressed up quickly, and rushed out of her apartment.

An hour later, she was in the ER of the American Hospital of Paris, calling it. "Time of death, 4:12 a.m…" She sighed heavily and ripped off the gloves and threw them in the disposal case. She directly went to her office and shoved the door closed, then locked it. She sat down on the floor of the office and just sighed. That patient had been so important to Cristina. She had spent a whole three months, trying to save her life and she just got paged to go the ER to call her time of death. As simple as that.

She shook her head lightly and then got off the floor. Her shift would start in 4 hours, so she could go back home and sleep again. Not that she could really sleep, though.

She opened the door of her apartment and took off her coat, throwing it to a side and went to her study room. She sat down on the chair and sighed for the thousandth time.

Then, she looked up and stared at the golden colored Harper Avery Award that was staring back at her. "I need to talk to someone, I need to, but I have no one. And I cannot talk to you, because you're just a statue. You cannot talk back, right?" she shook her head. "And I know that I have Alex, but… wait." she frowned and then chuckled, shaking her head. "I think I am actually talking to you, a statue. Huh! Well, loneliness does make you talk to objects. Anyways, I was saying… uh-huh! I do have Alex. He's actually the only person left for me. But talking to him doesn't work because, he's on the other end of the world! It's just talking… I need to be comforted because I lost a very, very important patient today. And I need to be told that it wasn't my fault that she died and you cannot say that to me and you know? You actually make me think I don't deserve you because… I lost a patient and I don't deserve to be the best doctor of the year. And I need someone to tell me that her death has nothing to do with you and it wasn't my fault and I shouldn't blame myself, but… I have nobody. I have nobody to say that to me and I am talking to a freaking statue." She let out a ragged breath out and looked at the award, helplessly. "You don't make me happ-…" She paused and frowned. "Oh my God… you don't make me happy. I spent a whole month trying to make myself believe that you make me happy, forever. But you actually don't. You're just a dusted statue standing there. I don't remember to clean you anymore even. You made me happy for only one week and now… you just…" She sighed and leaned her elbows on the desk and her forehead on the palms of her head. "You do give me credit and I gain more respect and I am worshiped and my name will be printed in all the medical textbooks and people will follow my method. That's all you give me." She looked back up at it and shook her head. "You always were my dream. I thought I'd have and I wouldn't need anything else, that you'd make me happy forever and my life would be perfect forever and no one else would matter. But you cannot help now, so what's your use? You just make me famous, but that doesn't help me either. You will not make me happy forever and… that sucks. You are nothing, you're not even outta gold it's just the color." She leaned back against the chair and sighed again. "You're nothing! How could you have been always dream? And I literally ruined my life to get to you."

One week later

She sipped on her French Coffee and leaned back against the lean of the chair of her office, as she read through a new Cardio related article. Beep beep beep, her pager went off suddenly. She picked it up and looked at it. Trauma Room 1, 911, she read and then got off the chair quickly. She turned off her laptop and rushed out of her office towards the ER.

"What's up?" she asked as she approached the trauma room to which she'd been paged. The peds surgeon looked up from the patient. "Male, seems to be around one year old. He's just survived a car accident and he was seated in the passenger's seat. Fortunately his idiot father had remembered to fasten the seat belt at least."

Cristina put on her stethoscope and stepped forward to listen to the baby's heartbeat. "Who seats a baby in the passenger's seat?" Cristina asked, incredulously.

"Someone who's been too high to remember he's not allowed to even drive," he commented, shaking his head in disapproval.

Cristina listened to the heartbeat again and looked up at the peds surgeon, Dr. Julio Bureau, and frowned. "His… heartbeat."

"That's why I paged you," he replied and shook his head. "All that his father has smoked has done to this baby's lungs and hearts."

Cristina shook her head and turned to the ER nurse. "Order an ECG and CT from his chest," she ordered and then, a breathless resident rushed into the trauma room. "What's matter?" Cristina asked.

"The father just passed away," he said.

Cristina sighed, along with Dr. Bureau. "Doesn't he have anyone?"

"He told that it's only him and his son. Nobody else."

Both attendings sighed again and looked at each other. "Social services," they both said in unison.

Two weeks later

Cristina stepped into the on-call room and went to lie down on the bed. She'd had a very, very long surgery and she was just very, very tired. She sighed out of tiredness and pulled the covers over her head, then closed her eyes. But even a second hadn't passed that her pager went off. She opened her eyes and groaned aloud. Peds, ASAP. She sighed and got up from the bed, reluctantly and then walked out.

"You paged?" she asked Dr. Bureau as she approached him at the nurses' station. "Yes," he responded and then guided her towards a patient's room. "The card crash survivor. The foster home brought him in today. It's his heart."

Cristina looked at Dr. Bureau and then at the baby boy. "Oh… God… " she whispered and then sighed, stepping inside the room. She started examining the baby boy and ordered some tests. He would need another surgery.

Dr. Bureau left the room after 15 minutes to check on his other patients and left Cristina and the baby alone in the room.

Cristina stared at him and he stared back. "I know it hurts," she started and sighed, "And I know how hard it must be when you have no one who loves you and comforts you. Of course the staff of the foster home does care for you, but it's different when the person is close to you. It's so painful to be alone, I know, because I'm alone too. Well I do have a mom, but we don't get along and I haven't talked to her in like… well… more than a year. And I have a best friend, but he's in another country. So I know how painful it is to be alone." She smiled sympathetically at him. He just stared at her with his wide blue eyes. "You know you remind me of someone… let me see…" she tilted her head and stared into his blue eyes, smiling softly, as she was thinking who he looked like. Then, her smile faded away. "Oh… strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes…" She sighed heavily and un-tilted her head. "Well, kid, I've got to go. See you later," she said and with a brief smile started to leave the room.

"No!" he said suddenly, making Cristina turn around and look at him with wide eyes.

"What did you just say?"

"No!"

"Did you just say 'No?'"

"No!"

Cristina chuckled amusedly and walked back to the crib. "You must be a challenging one to have 'no' as your first word."

"No!" he repeated.

"No? You don't want me to leave?" she asked.

"No!" he said again and smiled widely.

His smile lit up Cristina's face with a wide smile and a little chuckle escaped her throat. "Alright, I'll stay here," she said and sat on the chair beside his crib.

The baby boy followed her with his gaze and smiled widely again. Cristina smiled back.

One week later

"You paged?" Cristina asked as she approached Dr. Bureau at the nurses' station of Peds floor. "I'm discharging Aubin and he doesn't like to go, and in this week he seems to get calm only when he is with you."

"Who's Aubin?" Cristina asked frowning.

"Your heart baby patient. Blonde, blue eyes. Aubin is the French name the foster home has put on him."

"Oh…" Cristina nodded. "So, where's he?"

Bureau motioned to a room where a baby was crying from the top of his lungs and two women in suits were struggling to calm him down. Cristina nodded and gave his shoulder a thankful pat and then walked to that room.

As if Cristina had some magical baby-calmer power, Aubin stopped crying when he saw her and instead smiled, which made Cristina smile too. She stepped forward and he reached out for her, showing he wanted a hug. So, the Social servicer handed him to her and she hugged him close. "Why are you crying so aloud, boy? The whole hospital is hearing you."

He was silent as he just leaned his head against her chest and tugged on her curls.

"He is so good with you," one of the women commented smiling.

Cristina looked at her and she was silent as she rocked the baby boy in his arms. Cristina never was good with kids. She never knew how to treat them and behave around them. Though she was Sofia's and Zola's favorite aunt and she loved those two a lot, along with baby Bailey, but she still wasn't so good with them. But then, this boy, Aubin. He seemed to be calm only in Cristina's presence.

"So we have to go," the other woman said after some minutes. She gently got Aubin out of Cristina's arms and then, the both of them started to walk out. But as soon as he realized he was being taken away, he looked at Cristina helplessly. "No!" he said softly and then whimpered.

Cristina sighed, she felt so bad, but she couldn't do anything about it. He would go and he would get used to her absence.

So many people had got used to her absence, or at least she thought they had.

One week later

Cristina took the last sip of her coffee and put down the cup on her office desk, then turned off her laptop and got up to change to her own clothes. She opened her closet and picked up her rain coat, then she saw a plastic cup fall down on the floor. She bent down and picket it up, a small smile forming her lips as she saw the smile drawn on it. It was the toy she had made for Aubin when she saw spending some time with him the other day. But why had she kept it? She held it in her hand and just stared at it, lost in thoughts.

Finally, she decided to get up and put on her clothes to leave. She put the plastic cup in her handbag and walked out of her office.

As she arrived home, she took a warm bath and then went to her study room, opened her laptop to continue reading what she was reading in her office when she remembered the paper cupped. She reached out for her bag and took it out of it and stared at it again.

After a minute of staring at it, she got up and walked to her bookcase and put it in one of the shelves, right beside her Harper Avery Award.

Two month later

"Dr. Bureau? You paged?" Cristina asked as she approached him at the nurses' station of the peds floor.

He smiled at her. "Yes, the social services are here… with your son. I just signed the documents for his health certification and you need to go sign the ones for being his mother."

Cristina's eyes went wide as a wider smile formed her lips. He smiled back and motioned to the conference room at which they social servicers were. Not saying a word, she ran to there.

"Sign here, and here, and here," the woman said as she gave the papers to Cristina. Cristina read through them and signed the bottom of each page. "Now, what should his name be? Aubin Yang?"

"Yes, No! Not Aubin, It's a nice name but his name should be Owen," she let out, nodding, then her eyes went wide when she realized what she'd just said. "No not Owen! Not Owen." Everything of that boy, his eyes, his hair, his smile was a reminder of Owen. She didn't need his name to be too. "Evan," she said. "His name should be Evan. Evan Yang." It was at least close to Owen in pronunciation.

"Evan Yang it is," the woman said and signed some more paper. "Congratulations, Doctor Yang. Evan Yang is officially your son, now." She smiled and then added, "He is with my colleague, in the lobb-…"

Not waiting for her words to finish, Cristina rushed out of the room and to the lobby. She looked around and then, brown eyes met blue. She smiled widely and he smiled back. She stepped closer and picked him up, hugging him close. "Hello, Evan," she said softly, as she kissed his soft cheek. "Hello, baby boy."

One year later

"Have sweet dreams," she whispered into Evan's ear and kissed his cheek, pulled the cover on him and then left his room, closing the door gently. She walked back to her study room and sat behind the desk to turn on her laptop and work on her newest research. She had achieved a lot in the past year and she was again considered for the next Harper Avery Award. She looked up at her bookcase and smirked. Her Harper Avery award could not be seen as a lot of photos and even toys had taken places in the shelves.

She got up and walked to the bookcase and took some of the picture frames and put them on other shelves so she could see the award again. She looked at the dusted award and took a cloth and dusted it off. "You know? You do make me happy, but… Evan makes me happier. You were the dream I always knew about, but Evan… he's everything I'd always wanted and didn't know that I wanted," she said and then took a picture frame of her and her son and walked back to her desk. She sat down and then placed the frame on her desk. She smiled at it and then turned on her laptop to finish her work, to take one more step closer to her second Harper Avery Award.

Life was perfect. She was so happy.

Or... at least, she thought it was because still, something was missing...

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I really enjoyed writing it.

Please, as you always so kindly do, tell me in reviews what you think of this chapter.