"Maybe it's time to change, leave it all behind, I've never been one to walk alone, I've always been scared to try. So why does it feel so wrong to reach for something more? To wanna live a better life: what am I waiting for?" - Sick Puppies
Hey Football-head,
Feeling a little better this time. This whole "trying to be busy with other things" is working out very well for me, and now I don't feel as down. I spent a few days at Steven's because now his presence has the reverse effect: being with him distracts me enough so that I don't think about you too much.
But you know what? I'm sick of this situation, sick of being scared, and sick of hiding. After all, I'm Helga, Helga G. Pataki, and a Pataki does NOT get scared. So I've officially decided that, starting tomorrow, I'll try to message you on Facebook.
That's right, you heard me: I'm gonna find the guts to talk to you. Right now, you and the idea of you rejecting me is my biggest fear, so it's about time that I toughen up and face it so that I may either finally move on with my life, or at the very least know whether you have or not. Plus, I'll get to know how you're doing, which is really 90% of what I really want right about now.
Who knows? Maybe I'll talk to you and see that this whole thing is mere more but nostalgia for a once devouring passion which in reality is no more. Hopefully, it will be.
At any rate, writing pathetically on here to you isn't getting me anywhere. If I want things to change I have to stop dreaming and take control of my life and situation. After all, taking risks is part of living and I'll never know if you feel the same or still care about me if I don't speak to you. So here it is: normally, this'll be my last message to you on here.
Well, here goes nothing.
Yours always,
Helga G. Pataki
I took the suggestion of those who said that I should make Helga actually interact with Arnold. I'm not sure whether to write down their actual conversations or whether to keep going with only this format of Helga writing what she truly wishes to share with him on Microsoft Word so, leave your thoughts on this in the comment section. The rating will also go up for greater allusion to alcohol and some to sex, even. Hope you all still enjoy this story :) - CB~