A/N: Thanks to Grovek26, SereniteRose, Zeehana and guest for their kind reviews on last chapter.
Thanks everyone for all the follows and favourites on ffnet and on pinterest.
** This chapter was written differently, trying to portray all the characters emotions at once rather than separately which I usually do. Hermione is finally back on action and so is Draco.
Acknowledgement:
The story of the little pup, I read in a blog about human behaviour and decided to include it here.
Please enjoy and don't forget to leave a review.
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**My fiction 'The Poisoned Apple' has been nominated for The Hogwarts award in the category Hermione Romance. It is posted on the site and I would like you to cast your vote on the site under 'vote' tab.
The website is hogwartsawards DOT weebly DOT com **replace DOT with a . The link can also be found in my profile.
For adult words and themes this Chapter is rated: M (HIGH MATURITY)
Disclaimer: The copyright to Harry Potter characters belong to J. K. Rowling. Any other characters are purely work of fiction and any resemblances are co-incidental.
Chapter 71: Tales and Torrents.
Hermione and Draco sat in silence on the terrace, both listening to the old and deep strikes that were being issued from the aged Grandfather clock of Château de la Grange-Bléneau and lost in their individual thoughts. A night sky studded with millions of stars and a waning gibbous moon overlooked them while the air hung like an invisible barrier, waiting to be penetrated by the words that Hermione wished to speak.
It has been fifteen minutes since they came here together, Hermione leading the way and taking the seats just beside the balustrade. Not a word has been uttered since.
While waiting for Hermione to start the conversation Draco's thoughts wandered over hundreds of possibilities behind his wife's sudden desire to talk to him, each far-fetched than the previous. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn't discern a convincing motive as to why she should express her wish to talk to him at the dead of night. He looked at Hermione's vague reflection on the glass table between them. It was like a statue. She was unnervingly calm.
Hermione whiled away a few minutes, trying to decide where and how to start. Her reasons to call her rapist for a talk were many and legit but she wasn't here to show her true intentions. Therefore, she appeared as indifferent as possible.
Moments stretched on and Hermione noticed Draco observing her reflection on the glass tabletop. She thought of her little son who was sleeping in their quarter, unaware that his mother has out there to protect his innocence and sanity. The image of him sleeping – his eyelids a fraction open, his curls tousled, his arms wrapped around his little side pillow and a little pink imprint of her lipstick still on his left cheek that the boy hadn't wiped away – filled her heart with a strange sense of determination. Adrian has always been her strength, not her weakness.
"Those eyes are the first thing I see in the morning and the last thing at night." she started in a soft voice, "They belong to my son, Adrian."
Hearing her speak up at last, Draco left his observation of the reflection and looked up at the actual person. Even in the moonlight, he could see Hermione's eyes steadily fixed to his pair. Bright, innocent and brilliantly chocolate - they were his most favourite in her entire physical feature.
"I still remember the day I found out I was pregnant." Hermione was astonished how her voice conveyed so little emotion as it spoke of an incident six years old, "It was 17th May, 1998. I was staying at Shell Cottage – Bill and Fleur's home, then. I was extremely worried because I missed two consecutive periods after you raped me. I tried to remember my last period and found out that it was on the middle of middle of March, just two weeks before that fateful day at Malfoy Manor: 29th March."
Draco flinched slightly as Hermione used the word 'rape' so unabashedly. Not that she hasn't used the word before; she has and most vehemently. But tonight, it was different. Hermione has never been so calm and unaffected while talking about her brutal assault. She also seemed to remember every date related to that occurrence with unparallel accuracy, a very clear indication that the memories were still fresh in her mind.
"Fleur told me to run a pregnancy test; told me that I needed to be sure before I go to a Healer. I was in desperate need to clear my fears and so, I accepted it. I lied down on my bed and closed my eyes as she performed the test on me." the day still was vivid in Hermione's memory; she even remembered the sheet that was on the bed, "Needless to say, it came out positive. I was a little over than two monthes pregnant."
Draco noted the subtle avoidance of any form of salutation by Hermione while addressing him. She wasn't calling him her usual scathing Malfoy or even the bitter Draco that she had opted before the Minister. It was as if she was talking more to the air than to him.
"When I looked at my baby for the first time, I saw a tiny living being moving its even tinier limbs inside my womb." Hermione remembered the shimmering blue light that had hung over her flat lower abdomen, the magical image of what was happening inside her, "It was so small, so frail and yet it was alive." She paused, trying to suppress the whirlwind of emotions that always came up when she remembered that day, "I was pregnant at eighteen and I was pregnant from an assault. I was carrying the child of a man who spent half his life calling me a Mudblood. I was pregnant with a child that was going to destroy my dreams of a loving family and a bright future – something that I have been working on since I first set my foot on Hogwarts."
Draco felt an excruciating bout of remorse paralyzed him momentarily. It was intense and raw, like his plea to be called a father despite knowing the fact that he wasn't one in the literal sense. He could close his eyes and mouth, stop his breathing but couldn't possibly close his ears. He was eager to listen more and fearful at the same time of what was to come next.
"Until that day, I didn't know I was capable of crying like that." Hermione recalled her crying like a child; her eyes had been so puffy that she couldn't open them properly, "I decided to get rid of it. No woman in her right mind would like to keep a child that was product of a brutal rape and I wasn't very willing to set an example either. But then…"
Draco hung onto Hermione's every word as if his life depended on it. He didn't know why she was sharing them with him, considering they were her most private memories and he was that rapist; but he couldn't object about it either.
"But then Fleur told me that the baby was growing well and I placed my hand on my tummy, trying to feel it." Hermione placed a hand on her lower abdomen as if she was back in time, feeling the new life inside her, "The knowledge that a baby, who was not more than two monthes, was growing well shook me violently. After the rape, I couldn't sleep for a very long time. I used to have a lot of nightmares – of me being raped again. I was weak, both physically and mentally. We were in the middle of a war and I had no one to share my mind because every day that passed, we came closer to the ultimate end – either our or Voldemort's. I took Polyjuice Potion to impersonate as Bellatrix Lestrange and we broke into Gringotts. We even survived the Battle of Hogwarts. All in all, I never thought a baby was capable of surviving inside a woman who was going through such devastating conditions."
Draco noticed how Hermione seemed to go back in time as she reminisced her past. She even placed her hand over a nonexistent bump which made it more realistic. But all the time she talked of her pains that intensified Draco's guilt with every passing moment, her features remained strangely impassive.
"I realized that my baby, though unwanted and unplanned, didn't want to die. Even for a tiny and helpless being as him, he wanted to come to this world." Hermione felt her voice break ever so slightly and she looked up at the starry sky to hide her tears that threatened to break any moment, "I knew that his rapist-sperm-donor-so-called-father would kill him the moment he came to know of his existence since he was nothing but the most selfish bastard that ever walked on this planet. But I asked myself if I wanted to do the same to a baby who never chose to be born like that. Was it his fault that a man raped me and he was conceived?"
As he listened silently, Draco considered taking out his wand and killing himself before Hermione's very eyes. Every word that escaped her lips might sound unemotional but the way she looked up at the sky and blinked to beat off her tears, Draco knew Hermione was reliving her painful past again as she recounted it to him. It killed him to see her in that state. If committing suicide could alleviate it, he felt he could do it happily.
'Don't be a fool Draco!' his inner snide voice warned him, 'The Mudblood is trying to blackmail you emotionally. Don't listen to her. Go to your room and sleep.'
Draco decided to ignore it completely and listen to Hermione. He wasn't going to let that demon take over him, now that he was at his most vulnerable state.
"I decided to keep the baby." Hermione was impassive again, her inner control back on place and she gave Draco a very solemn look to convey that she wasn't intimidated by him at all, "I told Fleur that the baby was mine and mine only. Not even Ron's. I decided to leave England to save him from the rapist Malfoy." She paused and took a deep breath.
"You must be wondering why I am telling you all these." She asked Draco, who appeared very pale in the moonlight, "On Saturday, you seemingly came out of blue and laid down before me a long list of apologies. You did the same once before, the day after aunt Audré ate that poisoned book, though the list was shorter that time. Under your mother's insistence you took an Unbreakable Vow and under motives unknown to me, you did a Wizarding White Flag Surrender before me. All in all, you have been trying to keep me under pressure to forgive you."
"You ask for forgiveness and yet you don't even have slightest idea of what I went through when I was pregnant. You have no idea of my fears. You have no idea of my traumas. You have no idea of the losses I sustained, the hurts I still carry in my heart. You have no idea of the insults and humiliations I endured for carrying a fatherless child; you have no idea how much I missed my country and those whom I love. You know nothing about anything. You just know that you must have a son who is your last resort to save your filthy bloodline; you just know that the Malfoys must not die out in the male line; you just know how to deceit and lie, as Adrian pointed out this morning. You just know that your path to Adrian goes through me and therefore an apology is due."
"My son is my life, Malfoy. He's my strength. He is my passion and he's the reason I fight this bloody society and its even bloodier customs and rules. I told you about that day merely to point out that I kept him because he wanted to come to me overcoming all obstacles and I wanted him beyond anything. I loved him and I sacrificed everything I had for him, to be with him, to bring him safely to this world. But an unfortunate, bigot, pureblood rapist who is trying to continue his bloodline through a half-blood son can never understand what real parentage means. For him, it's just an address, a word – father or papa. He doesn't know the real meaning and emotions behind that word."
"You took away everything that was good and precious for me, Malfoy starting from my name to my homeland, my friends to the men I loved and the father I wanted to give my son. Now you are after the one last person who is worth more than my life, my son – my Adrian. I almost died giving birth to him; mother Apolline saved us. I fought the fate to be with him and I am not going to let you destroy him with your lawless means. No. Never."
Hermione's brown pair was directly probing Draco's grey ones as she spoke with solemn confidence. Her demeanor was calm and composed but her words had the venoms of a Basilisk's stare. Under it, Draco couldn't even open his mouth to say that he knew of her hardships, that he wasn't after an heir but a son that he had always dreamt of, that he has truly changed and was remorseful. But all his words dried on his lips and he stared unblinkingly as Hermione continued.
"You asked me at the Ball if Adrian has overcome his shock of being lied upon." Hermione reminded Draco, "No, he hasn't. When you sent that letter full of lies through aunt Audré, she read it him and told him a very basic version of the science of baby making. When she told him that the father provides the seed and the mother an egg for a baby, my son declared that I should never take the liar Monsieur's seed to give him a baby sister. It killed me, Malfoy, how the little boy sacrificed his own happiness for the sake of his mother. I wonder someone as thick as you can ever understand it at all."
Though Draco already knew the truth, the way Hermione said it again, it sounded thousand times more humiliating. He closed his eyes and hid his face on his hands, trying to cope up with waves of guilt, pain and mortification.
"But Adrian will not be five and half for the rest of his life." Hermione continued, despite the fact that Draco has hidden his pale pointed face, "He will grow up and will come to know how babies are conceived; how a father's seed finds its way to a mother's egg and like today he'll start questioning about his parents mode of relationship. Why is it that his parents don't behave like normal couples do? It's quite understandable that they don't like each other but what might have happened between them that things turned so wrong that his mother is unwilling to reconcile? Were they always like this? Then how it is that he was born from them? Thousands of similar questions will pop up in his young and innocent mind and I fear that day, Malfoy, I fear it because if he asks me about it, I can never lie to him. I have never lied to my only child. Unlike you, I believe that honesty is the key to any relationship and trust."
"I don't care, Malfoy, that you did an Unbreakable Vow or a bloody surrender or an even bloodier Oath. I don't care that Sorceress Marianne called us at Adrian's school and told us to work on our relationship because my son was suffering from social awkwardness. I don't care that your cousins smell something is fishy when they don't see us trying hard to mend our past relationship for the sake of our son. I don't care that Adrian doesn't have a proper father for I am and I will be both his mother and his father. I need no man's assistance in it. I can raise him alone. But I care for son's innocence. I care for his sanity. If being lied can make him react like he did today, Malfoy, imagine what he'll do when he finds out the truth?"
Suddenly Draco was visited by a vision where a dead Adrian was lying on the floor, his limbs sprawled in odd angles with a suicide note beside it stating that he doesn't want to keep a life that has cost his beloved mother's freedom; in another vision he saw a mad Adrian talking to himself and laughing occasionally, his mind lost after the gruesome discovery of truth. The last vision was Adrian, his innocent features contorted rage and loathe as he killed Draco first and then himself. He couldn't decide which one was worse and suddenly Hermione's real motive to talk to him was very clear.
"That day in the garden you asked for another chance to prove that you are worthy of Adrian's love." Hermione went on for the earlier the conversation was over, the better, "You said you want to find out if you are eligible to be his father. Fine. Here is the golden opportunity, Malfoy, your wish to be more involved to your son's life has been granted. By all means try and explore all possible and impossible ways to his heart. I will not stop you anymore."
By this time, Draco knew Hermione was coming to this final declaration and though, it was the moment he has been waiting for last two monthes, the moment he has been working hard to achieve, now that it has finally arrived he felt strangely hollow. He realized that Hermione was sacrificing her happiness again and coming at terms with a man who repulsed her for the sake of her son. The decision was not made out of her noticing his genuine changes and accepting him; it was merely an obligation and a truce to save her son from a deadly truth. And suddenly, it didn't hold the same appeal as it used to have before this night came.
"Hermione, trust me I never wanted any of this to happen." He spoke for the very first time since they came here, "I never apologized to force my entry into your life. I apologized because I really am very ashamed of my conducts. I know I don't deserve it, Hermione, but you are a noble woman. I thought… I hoped that you will give us one last chance. But if it pains you to have me in your lives, I'd rather not ask for it."
"Oh, no, Malfoy!" Hermione shook her head with a smile that was almost cruel, "Not now when my son is in danger. Not now when my only child is on the brink of finding out the truth. No. You are not allowed to back out now." her features were so intimidating that Draco wondered where she was finding all the strength, "You should have thought about it before you kidnapped him, before you forced me into this marriage of imprisonment, before you made all those ridiculous stunts to prove that you are and can be Adrian's father. But now, your noble 'no' isn't really an option. Now you have to carry on the deadly game that you started. Now you have to take it forward."
"Hermione…" Draco tried to show some sense but she cut in.
"No Malfoy no!" Hermione cried, her heart full of an unknown power and determination, "You are not dictating the rules here, I am." She said with supreme confidence, "If you are not willing to be in our lives then let go of that bloody Claim and I'll divorce you in this instance. If not, then you have to carry out the duties of a father. Every single one of them." she said dismissively, "As for your claim that you wanted me to give us a chance, I have never heard a sicker joke. There never was an us, Malfoy. Ever. You did nothing but to torment me with your words and your means and that certainly isn't a fertile background to start a nonexistent relationship. At least, what I can and am going to do is, we will be civil before my son; as civil as it possible without you publicly declaring your undying love to me or giving me a bouquet every other evening or asking me for a romantic candle light dinner on Valentine's Day or giving a chaste kiss on my lips." Hermione's every word was cutting Draco deeper than the previous one, "You will be my trophy husband. We'll not fight before my son and behave in a way that he never suspects that any foul play was involved in his mode of conception. We'll continue this way until my son turns seventeen and after that…" she paused.
"I'll divorce you." Hermione declared solemnly.
"Hermione!" Draco left his seat, unable to take the mental torture anymore.
"Yes, Malfoy, yes. I'll divorce you even if it the last thing I ever do." Hermione said such ferocity that her limbs were shaking now, "I got married to you only to save my son. I knew that I was entering a twelve years imprisonment in this marriage of Azkaban. I knew I was being punished despite being innocent, I was being punished for your crimes, your obsession for a healthy heir – an heir was not was ridden with blood borne diseases, an heir who wasn't a product of incestuous pureblood marriage. And yet I sacrificed my happiness and so did Alexis. Why? Because we love Adrian selflessly, something that unfortunate beings like you can never understand the meaning of." Hermione was panting slightly now, tired from dancing and the contained rage, "That saving didn't only include saving Adrian physically; I mean to protect his innocence and spiritual wellbeing too. As for your insistent cries that you asked for my forgiveness, I have answer to that question too."
"You will never be forgiven Malfoy." Draco stared in disbelief at Hermione as she stood up, crossed her arms and proclaimed, "I will never forgive you. The list of your crimes is endless and except for murder, they contain everything. I will never forgive you for foul mouthing me and my family for my Muggleborn inheritance. I will never forgive you for attacking me from behind, beating me like an animal and raping me. I will never forgive you for taking away one last chance of happiness that I had in Alexis. I will never forgive you for imprisoning me and taking away the golden days of my youth stuck in a loveless marriage; taking away an opportunity to give Adrian a loving father and a sibling not from another rape. I will never forgive you for making me go through numerous nightmares when you said that you love me. I. Will. Never. Forgive. You. End of story. That being said, I have few points to bring into your kind notice."
"One: my hatred for you will never diminish even though I'll appear civil with you before Adrian or those who don't know about us. Also, I'll never go to Malfoy Manor or change my maiden name or add yours to it."
"Two: I will never consummate my so called marriage. In other words I'll never have sex with you even if you die from physical need. However, I give you permission to meet them from any external source that you deem fit but it will not be me. Rape can be your ultimate fantasy but being raped isn't mine."
"Three: I'll never bear any of your future children. I can't imagine your sperm doing that inside my body."
"With all these conditions, you Draco Malfoy, are hereby allowed to be my, Hermione Jean Granger's trophy husband and my son, Adrian Thomas Granger's trophy father. Now that your eternal dream has been fulfilled, I wish you a very good night and sweet dreams."
Draco stood there dumbfounded for a very long time after Hermione was gone with one last shower of her cursed words. He has never been more insulted in his entire life. Nor has he ever come across such hatred from anyone.
Starting from the morning he has been through unimaginable kind of humiliations. His son had warned his mother not to take his father's seed for any future babies; the boy hadn't even looked at him when they were standing by the carriage for the ladies; he couldn't ask his wife for a dance when she dismissed his polite attempts of conversation with a cruel indifference and cold jibe on his proclamation of love and now Hermione has accepted his offer to include him in their lives on such conditions that couldn't be more insulting for a man and a husband.
What vexed him most were her words that he can ease his sexual needs from external sources just as Apolline had asked him if he has even been to a brothel; as if it was a common practice for rapists to indulge in such sinful acts; as if Draco had wanted sex when he raped her; as if he couldn't deem a day passable unless he had bedded at least one woman.
He was appalled, petrified and gagged by her words. It had cut such deep wounds to his soul that he doubted it would ever heal properly. A part of him hated her for all those hateful words, for not trying to understand his real intentions, his genuine changes and his endless efforts to please her or make her see that he wasn't the man he was before.
But another part of him knew that she was right in her hatred for he has never given her anything more than pain or insults and taken away all that was precious to her. Hermione's has been only words but his had been actions.
A deep sigh brought him back to the reality and Draco blinked several times before Audré's face swam into view.
"I assure you I didn't eavesdrop in a conversation that was meant for your ears only." She said solemnly, sitting on the chair that Hermione had been occupying earlier, "Here, take some coffee." She handed him a steaming mug.
Draco's senses were too frayed for any kind of protest. He sat there, still as a statue and numb like a dead.
"When I was young, nephew, my maman used to tell me stories." Audré's tone was conversational as if they were discussing their childhood, "Most of them were about moral teachings, some about human nature and some only for fun. Take your coffee, Draco, before it turns cold like Jean." she offered and feeling nothing at all, Draco took a small sip from the hot beverage.
"I can understand what you are going through, Draco, it doesn't need one to listen to what Jean must have told you." Audré said, her own features very calm, "I have keen eyes that can read facial expressions and body languages; I have a clever mind that can analyze them and I have a wealth of information on you and Jean. And from that I can gather that you are very disappointed that your wish has been granted."
"I never wanted it to happen this way, aunt." Draco spoke up at last, the coffee seemed to unfreeze his voice, "I just wanted Hermione to see that I have changed and I am ashamed. That's all."
"That's all?" Audré repeated after Draco, "How very easy of you say that, Draco, 'that's all'." She looked amused, "You remind me of a story that maman told me once. At first, I didn't understand its meaning. But as I grew up, I realized what she had meant by it."
"One day, a little pup was walking down a street. The day was fine and he was fresh out of his mother's confinements. He had seen many humans and his owners were very kind to him. From that he had gathered a general idea that humans like cute little pups when they waggle their tails."
"So that happy little pup came across a group of young boys. Their leader was a rogue one, a boy who bullied boys and girls younger than he and when he spotted the dog, he showed it to his gang members."
"'See that dog?' he asked them, 'Have you ever seen a more pathetic being?' Hearing him, another boy came forward and told the rest of the boys that his grandfather had died from a poisonous dog bite years ago. 'These creatures should be got ridden off.' He opined and took up a stone that was lying nearby."
"The little pup was unaware that his presence was causing such a roaring conversation among the boys. He waggled his tail and gave a short bark, reminding them that he was there, waiting to be patted and loved."
"As the pup barked, one of the boys told the gang about dogs whose barks disturbs their night sleep. 'I feel like strangling them by shoving a stone down their throats.' He said and mirroring his companion, he took up a stone. Soon every single boy came up with an excuse that dogs should be punished for the threats they pose to an otherwise peaceful human society. They all took up a stone and approached the pup who was confused now, watching the boys come closer to him."
Audré sighed and paused as Draco stared, visualizing in his mind's eyes what might have happened to the poor little creature.
"As the night fell, the boys returned to their respective homes, proud that they have gotten rid of a pup before it became a nuisance. In a corner of the street that they were gathered earlier, laid a pup, bloodied and bruised, licking his wounds and trying to understand why he was attacked and beaten mercilessly. His tiny tail waggled occasionally but not to attract passersby; he recoiled at the mere shadow of them."
"The pup was too young to know that his physical wounds will go away with time leaving only a few scars. But it was now old enough to understand that man must never be trusted. Their species know nothing but to attack and destroy. The most selfless creature since the time immortal now knew to hate. He now knew to bite. He now knew to distrust and flinch away. For the crimes of another, it had paid dearly with its body, soul and innocence."
"Now here is another version of the story: a little girl by the name of Jean Granger entered a school named Hogwarts. It was a school for magical kids and she had been declared as a witch. She expected to be appreciated for she was clever and had thirst for knowledge. Her teachers loved her for she was an ideal student."
"One day, she came across a gang of Slytherins. Their leader, a boy of her same age named Draco Malfoy, was a rogue one. He used to bully younger students with the help of his thug friends – Crabbe and Goyle. As they saw her, he lifted an accusing finger and told his gang members how these Mudbloods don't deserve to be in the school. 'They don't know anything about us. They were brought up differently. I think pathetic beings like her shouldn't be allowed in Hogwarts.' he said."
"As he spoke another one of his gang members told them how his pureblood family faced imminent danger from these lesser bloods. 'They should be got ridden off.' He opined and gave Jean a nasty look."
"A third one came up with stories of Muggleborns and how they were very different from them. Soon all agreed that Mudbloods were nothing but a threat to a peaceful Muggle society. They each carried a stone in their hearts and years later, this rogue leader Draco Malfoy finally got his chance to take revenge on Jean for besting him. He raped that girl brutally."
"The night fell over Malfoy Manor and the rapist returned to his room, proud that he had accomplished what he had wanted to do for years: humiliate Jean in the worst possible manner. In a corner of the dungeon, bloodied and bruised, laid Jean, crying and wondering what had caused that man to rape her like that. Like that pup, she knew that the bruises over her body will eventually heal leaving a little scar. But the wounds that were left on her young heart will never go away. She will never be able to trust men like she did before."
"Like that pup, Draco, this innocent woman paid the price of your crime dearly. She is still paying for it. As your wife."
"Stop! Aunt, stop!" Draco cried, unable to contain anymore, "Please stop, I beg you!"
"No, Draco, I am sorry, but I can't and I will not stop." Audré said firmly, "Today you feel sad that Jean doesn't understand your love, you pine that she doesn't see your change, you bang your head on the wall that she is indifferent and impassive to your genuine apology. You feel humiliated when she isn't responsive enough. You feel cheated and betrayed. But before you drown yourself in a sea of self-pity, Draco, please ask yourself this one question. Who turned her into what she is today? Who. Did. It?"
Draco was trembling from head to foot; the tale of the little pup and its resemblance to his was so overwhelming. He opened his mouth to reply but no sound came out. It seemed to be permanently gone for Audré was absolutely right.
"Jean was a young innocent woman whose heart was full of dreams of a bright future and a loving family. She never knew that such cruelty can ever befall her just because she wasn't up to your standards for being considered a witch. Like that pup she never thought that the very species of men who were her best friends can attack her like that and turn her into what she is today. She knew not to distrust men. She knew not to hate them. She knew not to be bitter."
"Congratulations, Draco, you finally made her what she never wanted to be. Under your careful cruel maneuver she has become a woman with distrust and hatred for men. You said you were young and angry when you raped her; like those boys who attacked that pup. You said you haven't touched a woman without her consent and yet you were proud at first sight for damaging Jean beyond any form of healing. How could you even think that she'll be happy and tearful when you apologize? What is that, Draco? Arrogance? Pride? Ego? Self esteem? What?"
"I just…" Draco faltered in his speech. Audré's logics were essentially right but they were infused with such venom that he couldn't but succumbed before it.
"You just wanted everyone to end happily as soon as you confess your crimes? Right?" Audré arched an eyebrow, nodding slightly, "You thought the moment you go and express your fathomless remorse, Jean will be struck with a bout of pity and will accept you with open arms. 'My husband! My husband apologized to me!' she will cry and dissolve in your arms. Right?"
"Wrong, aunt, wrong." Draco said at last realizing that he must reply, "I knew Hermione will not accept me immediately. I knew it will take her a long time before she can even consider that. When I apologized, I only expected her to consider it and take her time to grant it. I wasn't in a hurry for her to accept it. But the way she did it…I just never expected her to be so cold, so unaffected, so impassive; as if whatever I do, it will not affect her; how hard I try to break this barrier it doesn't matter to her. I couldn't even ask her for a dance at the Ball fearing that she might think that I covet her. Hell, I couldn't even tell her that she looked marvelous in that blue dress and pearl necklace." He looked up at the starry sky above.
"When I say that I never touched a woman without her prior consent, I meant it. I never did. It might be hard to believe, aunt, but in my family men defined themselves with the women they loved. I saw it in my parents; I saw it in their eyes. I saw how they complemented each other. I tried to do the same with Astoria. She defined me, she…" his voice broke remembering his beloved wife who was now in another world, "…she saved me. She knew me, Astoria."
"I never expected Hermione to forgive me as soon as I apologized. In fact I thought she'll dismiss it outright and I was ready to ask her forgiveness as many times as it is needed. I know she hates me with the last of her being. I know she flinches away. But we have to start somewhere, aunt and I took the first step, I took the initiative. In return a part of me, a very small part of me, wanted her to see that I tried; to appreciate that I broke all previous norms and misconceptions to be the way she expects a man to be. I am not Alexis, aunt and I can never be like him even if I watch him all the time. I can never fall in love with a woman knowing that she was raped and became pregnant. I am not as broad minded as he. But no matter how full of flaws and faults I am, aunt I am still a living being with a heart."
"That heart was torn away when Adrian said that his mother shouldn't take his father's seed for their future baby. Hermione told me all about it, aunt and you have no idea how very painful it was hearing from her lips."
"That heart was broken when the woman I admire, love maybe, told me that she'll divorce me, told me to have sex with other woman because she thinks I am driven by sexual desires. I haven't had that for many monthes now, since Astoria became pregnant with our last child. But even a filthy rapist like me I can't imagine sharing bed with another woman who isn't entitled to be there."
"That heart was brutally crushed when Hermione said she will not bear any of my future progenies, as if I was asking her to do that. I know she won't and I don't expect her to either, but saying that on my face was a humiliation that I have never come across in my entire life. Calling me a trophy husband, trophy father, sperm donor and what not; how much more insults do you think I can take, aunt?"
Draco stopped at length and took a deep breath, unable to continue anymore. His head was splitting from all the cruel words, his heart was on fire from mirthless accusations and his dreams shattered. He remembered crying at Adrian's feet, desperate to make him believe that he was sorry. He remembered taking revenge on Rochés and Vincent on their stead. Everything he did was for them, directly or indirectly. But after tonight's talk with Hermione, there was no meaning of life for him, no meaning of fighting the demon, no meaning of going through all the pains and enduring the insults. He felt like a name only or a dead body without a name in a morgue, waiting to be disposed.
"I wanted to earn her respect, aunt, her forgiveness and maybe someday… her love." He stated his mind at last, "I know it's a lot to ask for but I was and I am still willing to give away everything I have to achieve that. I know it will take a lot of time, but for the time being I can do well with just a bit of appreciation, a tiny bit of assurance, a little word of solace, a little moment of joy, aunt, so that I can hold on and tell myself that, 'Draco, you can do it, you will do it, she'll forgive you.'. But the way she talked to me tonight - so cruel, so cold, so expressionless…I wonder if I'll ever succeed even if I die for them."
"I am so sorry Draco but you brought this mess on yourself." Audré sighed sadly, "This Jean that you see is the fruit of your hatred, the poison of your fanged bite. The poisoned apple that you created is yours to neutralize only. Whether you die or survive in the process is what remains to be seen. Remember, Draco, with all my therapy sessions I can only take her out her fears and insecurities. Make her talk so that she purges herself. But her hatred for you remains untouched, her wrath remains unspoiled and pure. I can't take it out of her, that's your job only. And that brings me to the real purpose of my visit. I will be short because it's almost two o' clock in the morning now and I need to take some rest before tomorrow's hearing. You also had a long day and need to go to bed. We have a rather large display of fireworks tomorrow."
Draco slumped on his chair, exhausted now. "If it's about the hearing, aunt, can we please talk in the morning?" he asked fixing his stare at the ground.
"Don't think, Draco, that I don't take your and Jean's issue seriously." Was Audré's solemn reply and he looked up, "I take it very seriously. If one member of a family suffers Draco the others are bound to suffer too. Besides, Adrian is growing up and he is a very clever boy. He's bound to notice things aren't normal between his parents if this conflict continues. So for the welfare of the entire family, I visited Durant's home again this morning, right after I paid a visit to Morpheus's grave."
"Uncle's grave?" Draco asked, his curiosity for the ever enigmatic uncle rising again, "Why didn't you tell me, aunt? I could've gone with you too."
Audré smiled serenely, "It's alright, nephew. We'll keep that for another time. So, as I was saying, I went to the Durant's home to talk about the cottage and your wish to buy it. By the way, are you still adamant that you will not resent it? You saw Jean, Draco. Are you still willing to explore your possibilities at the cost of that villa that is so dear to you?"
Draco considered the question silently.
Hermione has stated that she wasn't going to forgive him. She wasn't even going to be his wife forever, for she would be appealing for divorce once Adrian turns seventeen. They wouldn't be like a normal functioning couple with a regular sex life and more kids. Last of all her hatred, as Audré and Hermione, both pointed out wasn't going to diminish. She was simply not going to display it before her son to prevent the uncovering of a gruesome truth.
Now that all the truths were laid down before him, was he going to risk his life and property for them? Knowing that it might never work out in the end? Knowing that Hermione might never be what he dreams her to be? Knowing that theirs would be a relationship of obligation and convenience and not of love and respect?
Was it worth the risk?
"Think, Draco." he heard Audré's soft voice, "You know what's at stake now. You know what you are going to lose. You can still be saved, Jean and Adrian can be saved too; everyone can be saved. Just let the Claim go so that they can pursue their happiness while you pursue yours. Adrian will still be your son, Draco, no one is denying that truth. You can have regular correspondence with him. Let him have a little sister. Let Jean have a loving husband. And you move ahead with your life. Save them, Draco; and save what's left of you."
What was left of him?
Was there anything left in him that wasn't Hermione or Adrian's already?
Wasn't his Patronus part otter now?
Didn't his heart beat for them only?
Didn't that song tell him that he has already made a terrible mistake by not noticing Hermione before? Was he going to repeat the same mistake again?
Often, I wonder how you came by me.
Where you always there?
Or it was just my luck?
You came softly and elegantly,
Like that moon that drifts over the lake,
Its light mirroring itself on the other mirror.
You came like a dawn,
Making a melody in the air
That fiddled my heartstrings.
You are my solace,
You are my passion,
You are my ecstasy,
Why did I not see you before?
Hermione and Adrian were his solace now, his passion; his ecstasy. They were, no matter how angry they might with him, the reason he tried to live like a better man. Their innocence was his strength; their laughs his lifeline. If losing everything even with this knowledge that they might never accept him was worth a try, he was willing to explore that road too.
"Don't be selfish, Draco." Audré remarked, "Don't destroy them."
"I won't, aunt." Draco declared at last, "Instead, I will destroy myself."
He whipped out his wand, closed his eyes and imagined the most powerful happy memory he could.
They were on a dance floor, waltzing. He was clad in an elegant green dress robe while Hermione was in her blue dress with that pearl necklace. They waltzed silently, their eyes only for each other as the song of Orpheus and Banshee played in the background. Draco drew Hermione closer, lowered his head and kissed softly over the enticing tiny black mole on her neck.
Hermione giggled, 'Draco!' she cried, 'You are tickling me!' she said though she didn't attempt to move away.
'I love tickling you.' was Draco's response when he uttered the incantation nonverbally and felt a large silvery osprey erupted from the tip of his wand.
When he opened his eyes next he saw his Patronus osprey transformed into an otter before Audré. She was watching the phenomenon intently, her brow slightly furrowed, as the otter shifted back to osprey and then vanished into thin air.
"Curious." She commented after a long stretch of silence, "Fine, Draco, if that is what you want then I have no objections."
"You were telling me about the Durant's home." Draco reminded her solemnly; the Patronus seemed to have restored his mood and strength miraculously.
"Yes." Audré joined the tips of her fingers and placed her chin on it, "I visited Àlmos and Céline's home this morning and talked to them. What they said was very interesting."
"I am all ears." Draco cast a Heating Charm on his cold coffee and reheated it before crossing his legs like Adrian and taking a sip.
"Àlmos had been trying to return the Meadowmoor Cottage to the Ministry for a year now." Audré started, "The Durants never had any plan to sell the cottage and earn millions from a place that was a gift to their father Eugene Durant from the Ministry. But Guizot denied it outright, saying that the ministry can't possibly take back a gift because it'll sound outrageous and deplorable. Disappointed, Àlmos next tried to donate the home for any good cause like orphanage or a school. He even asked Headmistress Marianne to take the cottage for St. Joan's which she respectfully declined. Then he decided to sell the cottage and donate the money for a charity."
"Why be so modest?" Draco asked, curious, "What's wrong if they take the money? Gift or not, aunt the cottage is rightfully theirs now."
"Yes, but not all people in the world run after money, Draco." Audré replied evenly, "You must keep it in mind that Àlmos is Eugene Durant's son and therefore they consider it very a lowly act to earn money from selling a gift. They were in a dilemma about what to do with the cottage when Marianne turned up with you."
"I can understand if they are eager to donate all the money I get from selling my villa in Tuscany." Draco said, sipping his coffee languidly, "But it'll take me some time."
"Exactly and that's why I have come up with a better idea." Audré said solemnly, "I told them about your plan to sell your villa in Tuscany and how it'll take some time since large sums of money will be transferred from Italy to France. When I said that 'Podere Cipressi' is a big farm house in the heart of Tuscany and is well aerated, Céline became very interested to see the place. She told me she had been planning to open a home for terminally ill patients who want to spend the last of their days in a home full of light and wind. That's when I thought why don't you and Durants interchange your properties? It'll save you both an awful lot of time."
Draco coughed on his coffee and cleared his throat, "Then how am I going to pay for the renovation costs?" he asked incredulously, "I can't possibly give Hermione and Adrian a broom cupboard like that!"
Audré laughed and shook her head, "Broom cupboard, eh?" she repeated after him, highly amused, "Still the same Malfoy, Draco? I say some spots never come off no matter how hard you try. Be that as it may, if you want to ignore my good suggestion and waste your time behind all the money, be my guest. Why should I have any objections about it? After all, it's your home." she shrugged.
Draco reflected on Audré's words.
He knew Hermione has given him that challenge thinking that he might never succeed, like the Dark Lord's mission when everyone expected him to fail and die. But aside from that point, she has just declared that he must fulfill all his duties as a father and a man's primary duty was to provide his family with a home. besides, how long was he going to stay at his uncle's Château? Shouldn't he take the opportunity and act fast?
"I think you are right, aunt. I am wasting my time." he said after a while, making up his mind when a sudden idea struck him, "Besides, I want to give Adrian his new home on his birthday in January."
"Really?" Audré asked, seemingly relieved that Draco has finally agreed, "That's a wonderful idea. But have you thought about the renovations costs. I can lend you some money if you like." She offered.
"Thanks, aunt, but there is no such need. I have an idea for that too." Draco replied confidently, the wheels of his head on motion and he finished his coffee before standing up, "Aunt, thanks for the advice and the coffee. I know I can rely on you. As for the story, it was sad but an eye opener. Now I know to which extent I have to go to make Hermione notice my efforts." He yawned and stretched his limbs, "I will meet the Durants first thing after tomorrow's hearing and talk to them. If possible I'll take them for a visit to Italy as soon as I can. The clock is ticking aunt and I have just a little over than two monthes."
"Good night, nephew." Audré said indicating that the conversation was finally over, "I'll be sitting here for a while before I retire." She said as Draco arched a skeptic eyebrow.
Draco left and Audré went back to the earlier events that culminated into her sudden appearance on the terrace.
After leaving Adrian to his mother's care, she had been looking for Draco to talk about the testimony he would be giving at the hearing. She checked his suite which was empty and returned to her parlour waiting for her children to return from the Ball.
They returned home at midnight, Lillian with a permanent smile and a dreamy look on her face while Julian sported deep irritation. Upon enquiring Audré was informed by his very disapproving son that Lillian had spent the entire evening dancing with the Swiss Minister's son – Nicolas.
"Maman, you should have seen them glued together." He had grunted and as his sister drifted away with a soft good night, "He was holding her too close for a decent dance."
"Did you dance, Julian?" Audré was both astonished and happy for her daughter, "I hope you didn't pick a fight with the poor man." she gave him a reproachful look.
"Of course, I didn't." Julian had said, "And I did dance, maman. With Jean. She is a very good dancer." He added.
Seeing that both of her children had enjoyed the Ball on their own way, Audré's heart was filled with joy. She enquired of Draco next and was told that he returned home at least half an hour ago.
'Strange.' She had thought, 'Where is he then?'
The answer came when she was on her way to check Draco's suite again. Hermione came down the stairs that were leading to the terrace and seeing Audré, stopped on the track.
"Aunt!" she exclaimed softly, "You are still awake?"
"I am always awake, Jean." Audré reminded her evenly, "What were you doing on the terrace?"
Hermione's demeanor was, if possible, grimmer than a Dementor. She grimaced and pursed her lips before replying.
"I was having a long due conversation with Draco Malfoy, my trophy husband."
Audré blinked and listened silently as Hermione explained everything in brief. Knowing her, it wasn't unusual to want to come at terms with Draco for the sake of Adrian and Audré was somehow relieved that the couple was going to work on their relationship. However, it was Hermione's last question that threw her off guard.
"Aunt, do you think Malfoy has any hand on Rochés's downfall?"
Audré stared. "What made you think so, dearest?" she enquired as calmly as she possibly could.
"While sitting at Adrian's feet, aunt, he said that he destroyed Rochés for Adrian and today Adrian destroyed him. Why do you think he said that?" Hermione asked, looked dead serious.
Audré smiled and tried to fight her growing sense of concern, "Well, why don't you try to find it out then?" she offered.
"I will and that's the reason I came at terms with him, aunt." Hermione replied, "I want to find out what Malfoy is after, what he did to Rochés and why he is doing these stunts. I want to expose his real face before Adrian. And there is no way I can do it without his participation. He opens up only when Adrian is around, like he did tonight."
"You have roused my curiosity, Jean." Audré said as genuinely as she could, "I will be looking forward to your reports on what you discover about Draco."
They exchanged good nights afterwards and Audré decided to come up to the terrace to talk to her nephew on a very different subject than her original intention.
Now that it was finally over and both Draco and Hermione were on their respective suites, she was free to ponder over the main issues.
Hermione wasn't going to lay back and tolerate Draco for the rest of her life. She was an intelligent woman and very well capable of turning the table of game. Soon she will find out how to free herself.
Draco was also a clever Slytherin and with his new determination to set things right he wasn't letting go of Hermione very soon either. He was going to exercise all his power to keep her with him.
But no matter what happened, the innocent wasn't going to suffer in the hands of a tyrant.
Audré left for her Grand Chamber when the Grandfather clock struck thrice.
It was going to be very interesting play to watch what happened when love and hate collided.