Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games
Italics are flashbacks
Katrina POV:
That little shit! How the fuck did he know about Finn and me? My hands start to hurt. I look down and see how hard I'm cleaning the dishes. Crap. Any harder and they're going to bleed.
"Katrina?" I jump at the sound of my name. Mom is staring at me. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." I spit out.
Mom looks taken aback. "Okay." She backs off. Mom almost never seems to have a backbone. But every now and then she'll take command of a room, or a whole country. Mom is what the Capitol calls the Mockingjay. She was the face of the rebellion that took down the late President Snow. It's hard to imagine my mom leading a country, but I've seen the tapes, so I know not to question it. Dad constantly called me a baby bird when I was little. I didn't know then, but all those years he was really calling me a baby Mockingjay. That is what the Capitol called me too. I've been to the Capitol three times. Mom is always on edge when we're there. Apparently the first time I was there was when I was a little over 6 months old. The next time was when Peyton was born. The third time was when all of the memorials were finished for those unfortunate children who died in the games all those years ago. The memorials were set up in the old arenas where each child died. They contained photos, videos of their interview and their highlights in the games, facts about them and other things. President Paylor called back all of the living Victors to cut the ribbon of their arena that they won in. For any Victors not still living, they called in any family members that are still alive. That was almost 10 years ago.
"I need you over at the Hawthornes by noon okay?" I hear mom ask. Normally she would go hunting now, but since today is Jane's birthday, there needs to be a crazy party planned. The only one of all us who seems to like parties is Maggie Odair. Poor kid, she's only 4, she's got a lot more to go through before she realizes that parties in our families is bad.
"Okay." I answer. "I'm going to hang out with Finn." Before she can say anything I'm out of the house on my way to meet Finn at our tree.
Finn is my whole life. He's home for me. The only one who isn't crazy about me and Finn together is dad. He can be so over protective sometimes. I asked mom once if he would ever stop. She shook her head and said "Get used to it." I doubt I ever will. Finn is already protective of me, and that's plenty.
Oh Finn. He's such an amazing guy. He can be a huge perv like his dad but he's a complete sweet heart. Especially when we're alone. When he's with me, he puts my needs in front of his and does anything I ask. He's incredibly considerate. When all our families were in District 4 one summer for a vacation a year ago he asked me to marry him. Yes it's still too soon but it was the worst and perfect night.
Finn was holding my hand as we walked through some of the ocean side forest in 4. As we emerged onto the beach, the sun had just started to set. He turned to me and pulled me into a sudden hug. We've been together for a few years now, yet he's shaking like a leaf in the breeze.
"Finn?" He buries his head in my hair. I'm 5 feet 8 inches tall and he's still got 6 inches on me. "Finn what's going on?"
He pulls back to look at me. His sea green eyes are like the ocean, but right now the ocean is in a storm. The sun plays shadows on his skin. His muscled chest protruding through his thin white V-neck. His bronze hair looks almost red in the sunset lighting.
He takes a deep breath and holds my hands. What's he doing?
"Katrina…" Bad start. He never uses my full name unless he feels really strongly about something. It's usually a bad something. Is he breaking up with me? I feel my chest tighten and I suddenly miss his name for me, Trina.
"I've been thinking. We've been together for a while now, and it's been fun, but I want something more." He says.
I can feel my eyes watering. He's saying goodbye. "Why?" I ask trying to keep my voice from cracking.
"Well, I'm older now, and I'm finally seeing what I really want out of life." He smiles a little. What is he smiling at? The dumb fuck is about to break up with me and he's happy about it!
I suck in a breath. "You want something more?" He's obviously talking about something other than me. Probably another someone. "Fine. I'll just go then. But I'll have you know Finnick Jr. that it's your loss, I'm my feelings for you were true the whole time." I'm choking now. "I love you! And I don't think that will ever change. I loved your perverted jokes, your dorky smile, even the way you smell like sea salt when you're sweaty." My voice is cracking. "I loved your sun kissed hair," don't cry "you're green eyes that light up whenever you see a piece of rope, your ridiculously contagious laugh" my knees are shaking "and the way your arms feel when they're surrounding me." I feel a tear streak down my face. I turn to look up to him. He's looking at the ground. He's not even looking at me! "Look at me damn it!" I scream. His head snap up and his eyes are full of sorrow and pain. But I can't hold up any longer. Tears break free and are running down my face at an alarming rate. I fall to the ground and cover my face in my hands. I have to keep from screaming at the pain in my heart. Why is he doing this? I don't want to beg, but I can't lose him. He's my everything.
I can hear him shift next to me. Suddenly his arms are around me. He picks me up and repositions me so that I'm practically sitting in his lap. He rocks me back and forth shh-ing me.
"I c-can't lo-se you." I manage out between breaths. He just hugs me tighter.
"Why are you saying goodbye?" He asks calmly.
"Because y-you're leaving m-me."
He laughs. Why? I don't know but it makes me want to punch him.
"I'm not breaking up with you." He laughs again. I pick my head up and look at him. My eyes are probably red and puffy and I can feel my nose running. Very attractive.
"You aren't?"
"No. I would never leave you. I don't think I possibly could."
"Then why did you say you wanted something more? Am I not enough?"
He pushes some hair behind my ear. "Trina Mellark. You are by far, the best thing that happened to me. You are my definition of perfect, royalty, beautiful, and goddess. You're voice whether laughing, crying or singing is music to my ears. Your touch is more electrifying than getting hit by lightning. Your hair is so soft and gorgeous. Your blue eyes are the most expensive diamonds in the world. And your smile is brighter than the sun. Even if I wanted to leave, I couldn't. It would be impossible. I am bound to you forever. Which is why I wanted to give you this." He pulls out a small box from his pant pocket and opens it. Inside lays a small gold ring but looks as though it was braided and then knotted together. And in the center laid a small diamond.
I can't move. "Trina, I know it's too soon, but I can't wait to make you mine officially. This doesn't have to be an engagement ring. Just a promise that I will always love you more than anyone or anything else. Will you marry me?"
Oh. My. God. My tongue feels numb. Say something! Say yes say YES!
I didn't need my thoughts to tell me to say yes. It was always him, and it always would be. "Yes." I whisper. "Yes yes YES!" His eyes light up and I lunge at him laying on top kissing him. He tastes like pineapple. When we pull back we both have smiles on our faces. Big ones. I sit up so I'm straddling him, and he pushes himself up on his elbows so that our faces are still inches apart. He picks up the ring and slides it on my finger. We stare at each other for a moment then he's on top of me kissing me hungrily. I kissed him just as powerfully.
One thing lead to another involving him touching my breasts, me touching his erection, and then there were no clothes, some 'are you sures?' and then the breaking of my hymen some blood and our first climax together. But I never regretted it.
I reach the edge of the woods and start off towards our meeting place. It was where he first told me he loved me.
When the clearing comes into view, I run. I can't wait to see him. I get excited just thinking about him. There in the clearing is our meeting place, the old willow tree.
Willow trees aren't very common in District 12's woods, that's what makes it special. The tree is very old, but it's still good for climbing. Branch upon branch I climb. Going higher and higher, I hear someone singing.
"Hello?" I call out.
The singing stops and instead I hear "Hello?" In my own voice. But I didn't say it. I look up and smile. Another 5 feet up sits a mockinghay. There seemed to be more of them now that the Capitol is different.
I reached the bird and sat on a branch facing it. It studied me and cocked its head to the side. It was waiting for me to say something.
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where they strung up a man they say murdered three.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where the dead man called out for his love to flee.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where I told you to run so we'd both be free.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.
My mother used to sing this song to us. But she doesn't anymore. The mockingjay realizes I'm done and starts to mimic my voice singing the song again. I join in again for a third round. The bird stops singing when we reach the last verse.
Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.
"You should sing more often." I jump at the voice from behind me. Suddenly I lose my balance and gravity does the rest. I fall in between the branches and when I expect to hit the ground a pair of strong arms catches me. "Didn't mean to scare you." He kisses my forehead.
"How did you get down here before me?"
"Nothing you need to worry about. Just know that I'll always be there to catch you. But I might have a bruised butt."
I laugh. "Poor baby." I touch his face, and he kisses my hand.
"Can you stand?" He asks.
"I don't know, you're holding me."
"Oh, right." He sets me down gently. I feel light headed, but not that bad. Or so I think until I stumble into his arms. "How's the head?"
"Fine." I lie. He just laughs and leans me into the tree.
"You know I can tell when you're lying." He purrs into my ear. He moves to my neck and lightly sucks on a piece of flesh. I let out a low moan at the feel of his lips on me. His lips curve into a smile. His hands on my hips, he pulls himself closer until he's rubbing right up against my pants. He's hard. I move my hands to his hair and lose my fingers in the bronze mesh. His lips move to my collar bone. He nips at my skin and I let out a small yelp. My whole being feels warm and gooey. His hands work his way up to the base of my shirt and slowly snakes his hands up. When he reaches my breasts I shudder. My legs wrap around his torso in response. When my head stops spinning I reach down and unbutton his shirt and push it off him. His body, leaves me speechless. I've seen it multiple times and I still gawk at it. His hand reaches under my bra and starts to play with my nipple. Moaning for the umpteenth time, I can feel the heat building inside me. His hips thrust forward with anticipation.
"Finn?" Oh no! I freeze. And so does Finn. "Finn where are you?" There's only one little girl in all of District 12 that would come into the forest without a second thought. Maggie.
"Shit." Finn whispers as he practically throws himself off me. I straighten my shirt out as best I can.
Finn reaches for his shirt when someone else picks it up, and it's not Maggie. Finnick Sr. stands in front of his son smiling. "What were you two doing?"
"Nothing dad." Finn says.
Maggie pokes her head around from behind her father's legs. "I saw them kissing." She giggles. "Hi Katrina!" She waves at me. So I wave back.
Finnick looks over at me. Then looks at Finn and starts laughing. My face is flushed, I know it is. "Don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone. For a long time, your mother" he points at his son "and I had to hide our relationship. Because if we were caught, your mother would have looked like a fraud of being insane which kept her out of harm's way, we would have had to have gotten married and had children that would have been forced to go into the games."
"Can I have my shirt now dad?" Finn asks.
"Hmm…" Finnick taps his chin sarcastically. "No, I think I'm going to keep it."
Finn looks at his dad in disbelief. "What? Then what am I supposed to wear walking back to the house?"
"You're a clever boy. I have no doubt that you'll figure something out." And with that Finnick turns to leave with Maggie holding his hand.
"But dad!" Finn calls after him. Finnick turns once more. "I have to walk by the Mellarks house to get to ours!"
"So?"
"So if Mr. Mellark sees me without a shirt he's going to beat me with a rolling pin!" Finnick stares at his son then laughs even harder.
"A rolling pin?" Finnick asks between laughs.
"You know what I mean! Besides, I'm not going to say what I meant with Maggie around." Finnick nods his head still smiling.
"Mr. Mellark is at the bakery. If you leave now, you might be able to beat him."
"But what about everyone else. I have to walk through town to get home."
"I don't think that will be a problem."
"Why not?" Finn asks.
"Because everyone seems to find us Odair men very…" and as if on cue, Finnick rips his shirt off revealing his chest "…distracting." A wrecking ball couldn't break that body. Even older now than he once was, Finnick has maintained his well-built body.
Now it's Finn's turn to be a tomato head. "Dad that's not going to work."
"It seems to be working just fine. Look at Katrina." Both men turn to face me. I didn't realize it, but my mouth has been hanging open. I blush and turn away. Finnick and Finn laugh this time. "Oh, but Finn, before you come home you might want to take care of that." Finnick nods down towards Finn's pants. All eyes on the bulge in Finn's pants makes even me laugh. Maggie looks confused. Finn's face is flushed. "And Katrina, before you go home, you might want to fix your hair. It looks like you walked into a tornado with a can of hairspray." This isn't the first time I've had sex hair. But it is the first time someone besides Finn has seen it.
I reach up to contain my hair and re-braid it down my back. "Thanks Mr. Odair." I say. He nods to me.
Then he says "Okay Finn, I'll give you a chance to get your shirt back. But you have to catch me." And with that, Finnick takes off through the woods taunting his son. Finn looks back at me.
"Go!" I yell laughing. He smiles then takes off after his dad.
I start to make my way back to my house when I hear a poem being recited. Another mockingjay?
The shattered water made a misty din.
Great waves looked over others coming in,
And thought of doing something to the shore
That water never did to land before.
I glance around and back in the spot where I was in the tree, sat little Maggie. She was the one reciting it.
The clouds were low and hairy in the skies,
Like locks blown forward in the gleam of eyes.
You could not tell, and yet it looked as if
The shore was lucky in being backed by cliff,
The cliff in being backed by continent;
It looked as if a night of dark intent
Was coming, and not only a night, an age.
Someone had better be prepared for rage.
There would be more than ocean-water broken
Before God's last put out the light was spoken.
I recognize that poem. Robert Frost's Once by the Ocean is a very common poem in District 4. I've heard Annie saying it many times. When Maggie was done, the mockingjay repeated it in her voice. She smiled at the bird and for a while they just stared at each other perfectly content. She is in so many ways like her mother.
When I finally get home, I see Jane and Greg walking in from town. Jane has a half-eaten cupcake in her hand and Greg is smiling a goofy grin. They reach her house and her mother comes out to greet them. She ushers Greg inside, and just as I'm about to go inside my own home, I hear it. "Katrina!" Mrs. Hawthorne screeches.
I look over and wave. Mrs. Hawthorne says something else to her daughter and then goes inside. Jane looks over at me and starts walking towards me.
"Happy birthday Jane." I say.
"Thanks. Can I hang out over here, since I'm not allowed in my house?"
"Sure. I was supposed to go over there pretty soon, but I don't think they'll mind if I'm late." I say, and we walk upstairs to my room. When we get inside she flops down on my bed and I sit at my vanity and check my hair.
"It looks fine." Jane says staring up at the ceiling.
"I just don't want dad to freak out." I say.
"Can you imagine what he would do if he found out you no longer have your V-card?" Jane laughs. I freeze. How did she know?
"What?" I say a little too loud.
"Don't worry. No one else knows. Seriously though, when you came back to the vacation beach house that night, you had it written all over you, I just didn't say anything. Your parents can be really oblivious sometimes." She smiles.
"Ya, actually Peyton knows. He said the same thing about mom and dad earlier today." I say.
"Huh, weird. I wouldn't have suspected him of knowing."
"Why not?" I ask.
"I don't know, I guess I wouldn't have suspected him of keeping it a secret if he knew. Your brother can be kind of an open book. Always talking to people and telling them about his baking adventures or his latest hunting technique."
"Does he tell you that kind of stuff?" I ask. I don't know where this is going, but I'm interested.
Jane pauses. "No. He hardly talks to me at all." She says sadly. "Does Peyton hate me?"
Oh so far from the truth! "I don't think so." I say.
"Then why does he never talk to me? I smile at him, I've tried to talk to him, but ever since it happened, he seems to be uncomfortable around me." I look over at her. Her head is hanging low, and she looks upset.
"What's it?" I say putting emphasis on the last word.
"What?"
"You said 'since it happened' and I don't know what it is."
"I kissed him." She said quietly. WHAT! Did I hear that right!
"You kissed him?" I ask.
"Yea." Well that explains a lot! "Was that bad? It was for a good reason."
"What happened?" I ask suddenly very interested.
"Well, long story short, Peyton was being harassed by a girl, and no one was helping him, so I went to his aid and told the girl to back off. She called Peyton a wimp for needing a girl to defend him. So I told her that I would defend him any day. Then I kissed him."
"So you like my brother?" I ask eagerly.
"Well, yes, but I don't know if how, or what else there is."
"So there is something else?"
"Aren't you needed over at my house?"
"Oh no! No way! Do not change the subject. Do you like my brother more than you say?"
Then as if on cue, I hear the door open. "Katrina! You mother needs you over at the Hawthornes." Dad yells up the stairs. Jane smiles at me.
"This isn't over." I tell her.
"It is for now."
"Just remember it's your party tonight." I walk out the door as Jane glares at me. She likes him.
"I'm out dad." I say walking out the door.
"Okay." He calls after me. Did dad's voice just crack? It's probably nothing. I close the door and walk down our front stairs. When I reach the Hawthornes house mom is waiting for me.
"Where's your father?"
"He's at home. Why?"
"Did he say what he was doing?"
"No. His voice was a little shaky though."
"Where was he?" Mom demands.
"Basement. You don't think…" But I'm cut off by a crash sound coming from our house. Both mom and my head's whip around to look. Just as we do another crash fills our ears.
"Oh no." Mom whispers and her gray eyes grow huge. And before I can say anything, mom dashes over to our house and when she tries to open the door, it's locked. "Go get Haymitch!" She screams. "He has an extra key!"
I sprint off to Grandpa's house. This has happened before. Dad has gotten better controlling himself but every other year or so, he has one that he can't control. An episode. Sometimes it's an episode but mixed with flashbacks that are real, so it's especially difficult for him to recognize what is real and what isn't.
I practically kick down the front door. "GRANDPA!" I scream.
"What is it Kat?" He looks like he just woke up.
"Dad! He's having a-" But before I finish grandpa wakes up and realizes what I'm saying. He runs to his kitchen and grabs a key off a hook.
"Run!" He tells me. So I do, since I'm faster than him, but he still comes running behind me. We reach the house and mom tells us to stay back.
"He's not in the basement." She says sadly. "He didn't lock it in time. We can't go in, because he's roaming the house. Thankfully your dad was conscious enough to lock the front door." Mom says hugging me.
"What's going on?" Peyton comes out of nowhere.
"Dad. He's having and episode." I say to him. He nods his head in realization but still looks sad. There's another crash. It sounds like it's coming from the second floor. Mom winces. "Maybe he'll see our rooms and remember he has kids and come back." I suggest. Mom nods her head and leans into grandpa who rubs her back.
Yea, maybe that will work. I don't have anything threatening in my room and- oh… shit… Jane.
"Katrina? What's wrong?" Peyton asks. "Your face is white."
"Mom! Mom we have to go inside!" I turn to her. She looks at me heartbroken. She hates feeling helpless.
"No we can't!" She yells back.
"Mom you don't understand, it's not about dad anymore! She was in my room when I left and now-"
"Who's in your room?" Mom cuts me off.
A bloodcurdling scream rips through the air.
"Jane." I whisper. The next thing I know, the key is gone from my hand, and my little brother is opening the door with a fury in his gray eyes that I've never seen before.