Chapter 36 In Vino Veritas
"So what do you want to do today?" Rick asked Kate in between kisses.
It was late morning and they were still making up for lost time in the form of deep, passionate kisses against the granite kitchen countertop. Kate could feel Rick's warm breath against her mouth and the low rumble of his voice when he spoke.
"Hmm… I'm up for anything," Kate mumbled in response.
She just wanted to spend some time alone with him on a personal level, just the two of them together. It had been months since Rick and Kate had last been together outside of work without fighting and some quality time together was long overdue.
They needed to find their way back to each other, back to the good place where they had been before his extended overseas trip and their tumultuous breakup. They also needed to build their repertoire of trust back up in order to move forward together in their relationship confidently.
Kate was hopeful that things would be better this time now that they had agreed to work on trusting each other. She was pleased that they were both willing to give them another chance and she wanted to do everything she could to make things work.
Kate's fingers played at the hair at the nape of Rick's neck while her thumb traced gently behind his earlobe.
"Do you have to write today?" she questioned with inquiring eyes.
"No, I can take a day or two off. I have the rest of the week to work."
"Mmkay, good." Her eyes crinkled into a smile and she drew forward to kiss him.
Rick hummed thoughtfully, thinking of fun things to do in the Hamptons with Kate. It took him longer than usual for his brain to come up with something cogent, as he was rather distracted at the moment by Kate's kisses. Rick pulled away and broke up their make-out session in order to formulate their itinerary for the day.
"How about a tour at the winery that I suggested?"
Wine tasting would be the perfect activity for the pair to participate in together. A leisurely stroll through a vineyard would be low key and just intimate enough without putting any pressure on them. It would be relaxing and fun, especially since they both loved quality wine.
"Yeah that sounds great," Kate agreed readily, leaning in to meet his lips once again. He let her steal a few more kisses before protesting.
"You know we're going to have to stop making out if we're going to do anything else today," Rick explained. "Not that I'm complaining," he grinned into her mouth. "At all."
"Mmm you're right." She pulled back and smiled at him. Hunger finally registered in Kate's mind as her stomach growled. "I'm kind of hungry though. Can we get a bite to eat first?"
"Yeah, I'm getting hungry too. We shouldn't taste wine on empty stomachs anyway." Rick checked his watch and saw that it was nearing noon already. "It's kind of late for breakfast, so how about brunch?"
"Perfect. Let me get changed then we can head out."
"Sure thing."
Kate gave him one last smooch with a fervent mwah then hopped off the counter and headed off to perform a quick wardrobe change.
Rick turned and watched her retreat, sighing contently to himself. That woman was really something.
Kate Beckett had such a strong hold on his heart and along with it, the power to make his happiness or break his heart. With her he experienced the highest heights of happiness while they were together, along with the lowest depths of despair when they were apart. She was difficult to be with at times, but for some reason he kept coming back for more. It was the good times they shared, the pure unmatched joy that she brought him by being together as partners, friends, and lovers, which made it all worth it.
Last night and this morning had been a wild roller coaster ride of emotions for Rick. They had been on the verge of calling it quits once and for all last night and now here they were, just the morning after, starting all over again. They fight and almost break up. They kiss and then make up. From fear and anger to elation and hope in less than 12 hours. It had all happened so fast, barely in the blink of an eye.
Rick really hadn't expected any of this to happen. This trip was meant for them to get on better terms with each other and just be friends again but instead, they had rekindled their relationship after a night of passion and now were apparently giving it another shot.
Although Rick was excited that they had a chance to be together again, he still had some doubts and apprehensions lingering in his mind. Things still weren't completely okay between them yet and they certainly wouldn't be for a while. Neither Rick nor Kate technically had said that they were actually back together in a relationship but based on last night and this morning, they were at least something again. They were back in that indefinite state of something between friends and lovers. Somewhere between unsure and a hundred.
But who's to say that it was wrong, that they couldn't be there for now? Rick and Kate were finding their way back to trusting each other, step by step. They had a long journey ahead of them before they could fully trust each other and let each other into their respective hearts again. For now, this would be enough.
Rick thought about the state of their relationship and its potential for the future. Was he doing the right thing by letting her back in? After everything she had put him through? She had pushed him away so abruptly after he got back from his book tour, citing irreconcilable differences as justification for ending their personal relationship. Kate had shut him out completely, claiming that they were just too different for this relationship to work out.
Rick suspected that it was subconsciously also a fear of them becoming something real—a fear of investing in this relationship and getting her heart broken. They hadn't addressed these concerns yet, which were something they definitely needed to talk about. Did she still think that he didn't belong in her world and she didn't belong in his? Hadn't the past few years of working together proved that they worked well together and could be with each other in a personal capacity?
He wondered if this was just a temporary change of heart. Maybe Kate just missed him and wanted him back for now. Maybe those doubts and worries of hers would resurface and cause them to have another fallout. Rick didn't know if he could survive that kind of heartbreak again. Their partnership and friendship surely wouldn't. These concerns gave Rick pause regarding how to go about restarting and repairing their relationship.
Rick still loved Kate and was more than willing to give their relationship another chance. Rick sincerely wanted their relationship to work out, but his better judgment was telling him to guard his heart more securely this time around. He needed to properly protect himself by not jumping into this relationship again headfirst. Rick needed to reserve his love and affections for Kate until she reciprocated them back if he wanted to avoid suffering the pain of getting his heart broken by her all over again.
After their breakup, Rick had built some walls around his heart to protect himself from future heartache. Those walls would have to stay up until she made the effort to breach them and tear them down. Kate needed to prove that she was willing to fight for them, that she believed in them and that he was worth it. Rick couldn't fully give Kate his heart until he knew that she could give him hers too.
Kate's return to the kitchen found Rick in meaningful thought. A smile lit up his face when he caught a glimpse of her fresh outfit, a red floral sundress with an accentuating sweetheart neckline. It was pretty yet casual, perfect for their day out and about the Hamptons.
Oh wow, Rick thought to himself. He was once again struck by her uncharacteristically feminine outfit. That sundress was really doing it for him. He never realized how much of a thing he had for sundresses until now. Or maybe it was specifically Kate in a sundress. Or maybe it was just Kate...
"Ready to go?" Kate flashed a smile back at him, bringing him out of his reverie.
"Yup let me grab my keys."
They spent the day together as planned. Rick drove them to a little café nearby that was a favorite of his for brunch. The establishment was a quaint and homey eatery which had a pristine interior with verdant, organic-themed decor. Though it was late morning, the restaurant was still bustling with hungry patrons enjoying a late breakfast or early lunch.
Rick and Kate were seated by a window table which offered a pleasant view onto the street. Rick ordered a frittata with sun-dried tomatoes, mozzarella, and pesto and Kate ordered a smoked salmon benedict. They also got a small plate of chocolate pancakes with raspberries to share along with freshly squeezed fruit juice to satiate their sweet tooths.
After the scrumptious meal and light chit chat, Rick and Kate made their way out of the restaurant into the bright daylight. Since the winery wouldn't be open until after noon, they aimlessly ambled down the street looking around and observing the lives of others.
They wandered past some name brand outlet stores and did some window shopping from the outside. A few blocks away, Rick and Kate happened upon a farmer's market that was selling fresh produce and organic goods. Rick thought it would be a good idea to pick up some groceries for a home-cooked meal or possibly a picnic another day during the week. They spent a good hour and a half selecting ingredients to make creative entrées and healthy snacks. Rick swung by the house again to drop off their groceries before driving out to the winery.
Pindar vineyards, Long Island's largest vineyard and wine producer, was Rick and Kate's destination for the day. The vineyard boasted a 500-acre lot that grew 17 types of grapes used to make the 23 blends of award-winning wine that this winery offered.
Rick and Kate entered the main reception building, an expansive red-roofed white-bricked building in the foreground of a seemingly endless green array of carefully sown grape vines. Rick approached the front desk to arrange a tour and wine tasting adventure while Kate lagged behind, looking at pictures and reading up on the history of the winery from various informative plaques arranged on the walls.
The receptionist, a handsome older gentleman dressed in a sharp suit, greeted Rick warmly.
"Good afternoon sir, my name is Abraham. How may I help you today?"
"Hi, I'd like to book a tour and wine tasting for two today," Rick replied.
"Absolutely. Would you prefer to join a group or do a private tour?"
"I think we would prefer a private tour," Rick motioned towards Kate who was a little ways off. Kate rejoined him at the desk and listened in on their conversation.
The man clicked a few keys on a computer to check for available time slots for a private tour. He adjusted his spectacles and leaned in closer to the screen to read the information.
"We do have a few time slot openings today. In fact, you're just in luck. Alex is in today to do some private tours. As you may know, this is a family-owned winery. Alex is one of the sons of the vineyard's founder, Dr. Damianos."
"Oh really? Wow, that's cool."
"Yes, he is very knowledgeable about the vineyard and all the wines we produce. Feel free to ask him anything about the winery's history, our specialty wines, or even about the wine making process in general."
"We definitely will," Kate assured, rubbing Rick's lower back affectionately.
"Now, the private tour will begin with a journey around the vineyard where your guide will show you our various types of grapevines and the harvesting process," Abraham started to explain.
"Then you will head to a small tasting room where you can sample some of our award-winning wines. You can stop by our exclusive wine shop to purchase bottles of whichever blends you like. Afterwards, you can enjoy our indoor wine bar with live music and refreshments or perhaps a light meal. Would that be to your liking?"
"Yes that sounds perfect," Rick nodded eagerly.
"Alright then. May I get a name for the reservation, sir?"
"Richard Castle."
The receptionist typed a few more things into the computer to complete the registration and swiped his credit card for the transaction.
"You're all set. If you and your wife would follow me Mr. Castle," Abraham gestured.
Rick squirmed a little at hearing the term. "Err… she's not my wife," he clarified. Rick looked over at Kate nervously and the two shared an awkward glance.
"Oh my apologies," Abraham quickly redressed his error. "I just assumed so, since most couples who visit here are either married or engaged. Our vineyard is also a popular venue for weddings."
"Well we're not married," Rick emphasized. Kate blushed lightly at the simple misjudgment.
"Oh okay. Well then, right this way." He led the pair beyond the mahogany doors into another room and introduced them to Alex Damianos, their tour guide.
For the next couple of hours Rick and Kate followed Alex around the lush vineyard, learning about the wine-making process all the way from planting and harvesting to bottling. They enjoyed the natural scenery, wandering around amidst the tranquil and serene landscape. It was fascinating to learn how a simple fruit was transformed into the luxurious elixir that they so often enjoyed. Rick and Kate learned more about the various flavors and undertones of wines and how to distinguish them based on basic wine tasting descriptors.
During the whole tour, Kate noticed that Rick was a little less affectionate than how they used to be when they were around each other. He kept his hands to himself and maintained a normal distance from her, much unlike when they had been together before. Rick was keeping to himself mainly because he didn't know on what terms he was with Kate, not because of his self-imposed arm's length rule. He had violated that rule thoroughly with her last night.
Dissatisfied, Kate tried to initiate physical contact herself in a natural way-a brush with his hand here, a gentle caress there. Kate just wanted Rick to know that she missed his touch, missed being near him. Kate wanted things to slowly go back to how they were before and this is how they could start. Rick didn't mind when Kate leaned her head against his shoulder or rubbed his back gently; in fact he welcomed the affectionate gestures.
After the tour of the vineyard, Rick and Kate ventured back inside the main building into a wine tasting lounge. The room was a rather large, open venue which allowed the relaxing music played by the live band to resonate. Improvised melodies and snappy trills floated through the air as the jazz band forged their intangible art. The sharp fruity smell of wine mixed in with the hearty scent of lacquer from the woodwork polish permeated the air.
Rick and Kate sat at a private end of the bar, secluded from other patrons. The pair casually sipped at various flavors of wine, appraising the tastes and aromas while being serenaded by jazzy tunes. They decided on a couple of their favorite flavors and purchased a few bottles to bring home to enjoy.
Later in the evening after a sumptuous meal at an upscale ocean-side restaurant, Rick and Kate retired to his backyard deck to unwind over a bottle of their favorite wine that they had purchased earlier in the day at the winery.
They made their way in tandem to the spacious bed swing suspended from the ceiling of his porch overlooking the expansive, glistening Atlantic. Kate set down two wine glasses on the wicker table as Rick uncorked the bottle and poured the libation into their respective glasses. Rick sat down and settled himself against the plush pillows on the bed swing as Kate followed suit.
Kate desired more intimate physical contact with Rick, but she thought cuddling up to him automatically would seem too forward. She could tell from observing his actions throughout the day that they still weren't completely comfortable with each other. Kate settled on sitting on the couch perpendicularly to Rick so she could face him. Her legs were retracted with her toes snuggled just underneath his legs.
Rick made a quizzical face at Kate, confused as to why she was sitting like that. Rick didn't know if she wanted to be that close to him, but the way she was sitting didn't look very comfortable. He reached under her legs, extending them so that she could sit with her legs stretched across his lap. Kate scooted to get closer to him and reclined against the swing bed cushions, content with their position.
Rick leaned forward to pick up the wine glasses and offered one to Kate, who graciously accepted. They clinked the glasses together ceremoniously and then indulged in the sweet wine.
The sound of waves rhythmically breaking on the shore coupled with the gentle rocking motion of the swing created a soothing, relaxing atmosphere. Rick and Kate sat in comfortable companionship, sipping lazily at their wine while swaying gently to the simple harmonic motion of gravity. The scene was serene and perfect in every way. Rick ran his hands up and down Kate's smooth legs absentmindedly with an affectionate touch while Kate leaned sideways against the cushions with her head propped up by her arm, intently gazing at Rick.
"I feel like it's been ages since we sat down to talk like this," Rick remarked.
"Yeah it's definitely been a while," Kate agreed.
Rick missed this easy company between them, something he truly cherished with her. He loved how they would often spend hours together talking openly about whatever was on their minds. It was nice having someone to share his deepest thoughts and feelings with, one who would listen with genuine interest and keep his secrets. Someone who cared about him and whom he could care for in return. Rick was glad that they were finally willing to open up about their feelings and find their way back together. This was an opportunity for them to reconnect with each other and develop an intimacy of emotion again.
Months of being apart, both geographically and emotionally, had changed and affected both of them in ways that the other wasn't completely aware of. Pain, anger, fear, insecurity—it all had to come out into the open. Communication is key to a healthy relationship after all.
"So what's been on your mind?" Rick inquired.
Kate thought for a bit, swirling the wine around in her glass. Where to start? There was something that had been gnawing away at her mind that she wanted to ask him.
"You never really told me how your book tour was," Kate began. She was curious as to what Rick had been up to those few months he had been gone, but not in an accusatory or judgmental way.
"Honestly? It wasn't all that it's cracked up to be," Rick admitted. "I hardly got any time to myself to sight-see, visit tourist spots, or just wander around in the historic cities. Whenever I wasn't at a book promoting event, I was cooped up in a hotel room working on my novel. It was all work and no play," he fretted.
Kate was quite surprised by his revelation. "Really? You seemed like you were enjoying yourself in those photos…"
"That was all fake smiles for publicity. You know how it is. I have to keep up my image for PR purposes. I actually used to like going on these tours when I was younger. It was all new and exciting and a lot of fun for me being just an up and coming author at the time. I would fly to exotic cities, attend parties where I was the center of attention, have all these beautiful women flaunting themselves at me…" Kate cringed at that last bit.
"But honestly, I've grown tired of all the parties and fanfare. It's exhausting meeting and greeting so many strangers, especially in a foreign country for extended periods of time. I had to use Gina as arm candy just to keep the fangirls at bay. And catching trains and flights to new cities every few days was hectic and physically taxing. After two weeks or so I really just wanted to go home…"
Kate hummed with understanding. She could tell that Rick was being honest about how he felt about the trip and not saying these things because the tour had separated them for so long and caused a huge rift in their relationship. He wasn't just giving excuses for his behavior and lack of communication the past few months.
"Speaking of Gina," Kate continued tentatively. "You two have a lot of history together right?"
"Yeah both in terms of professional and personal life. She's my second ex-wife."
"How long were you two married?" The state of not knowing such an important individual in his romantic history had been gnawing at her ever since Kate had encountered her.
"A little under three years."
"What's the story with her?"
"Well we met through work, obviously. She's a publisher at Black Pawn and she's the first one who took an interest in my manuscript. She's the main reason I landed the big deal to do a whole series on Derrick Storm. We spent a lot of time together working on my novels and building the series and we kind of hit it off. One thing led to another..." he trailed off vaguely.
"What did you love about her?" Kate asked in a small voice.
Rick shrugged. "She's smart, beautiful, successful. Bossy. Headstrong. I guess I have a thing for that kind of woman," he chuckled.
"So what happened between you guys? If you don't mind me asking," Kate quickly qualified.
"Things were good until they weren't. After a while we started fighting over work stuff—due dates for novels, stretching out storylines and trying to add more books just to profit from the series. It's one of the main hazards of dating someone you work with. But that won't happen with us, don't worry," he reassured.
"Even though things were falling apart, it didn't hurt any less when she cheated on me," Rick winced, revealing the ugly demise of his marriage. "That's when I knew our relationship was beyond repair."
"Oh. Sorry for asking."
"It's okay. I'm an open book for you."
"You two seemed like you were getting along when she came by the precinct to pick you up for your flight," Kate observed. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't a little jealous of Gina and her history with Rick.
Rick shrugged. "We've been civil after the divorce but she's still my publisher and likes to keep a tight leash on things when it comes to work. She practically held me hostage most of the time during the tour. I had to follow her schedule to a T all the time and she wouldn't let me have my phone or the Wi-Fi password in the hotels. She said they were a distraction to my writing, which I was behind on. And we were constantly on the move between hotels and cities, so I didn't have much time to myself to do other things. That's why I couldn't keep in contact during the tour…" Rick explained.
"Oh…" Kate sipped at her wine as she mulled over the complexities of his trip. So Rick did have valid reasons for not keeping in touch; he wasn't just using Gina as a lame excuse. The revelation made Kate feel guiltier about cutting things off with him so abruptly when he got back.
Rick set his wine glass down and paused for a moment, considering how he should tell Kate about the details of that one particular night with Gina.
"Can I tell you something?" Rick asked unexpectedly, turning to look at Kate.
"Of course," she assured him.
"I want to be completely honest with you and tell you everything."
"Okay…" Kate said apprehensively.
"There was an… incident between me and Gina while we were on the tour," Rick tried to paint the event as delicately as possible.
"What kind of incident?" Kate inquired, borrowing his term. She pulled her legs back instinctively and sat more upright to listen to his sudden confession. Kate set down her empty wine glass on the wicker table next to Rick's.
"Well, we had to share a room for a few nights in Paris because the hotel was overbooked. After a party one night, Gina was a bit drunk so I took her back to the hotel."
This didn't sound good. Kate could feel the jealousy starting to accumulate in her chest. She bit her lip in anticipation of being let down by a lapse in judgment on Rick's behalf. She couldn't be too disappointed though since they never said they were exclusive, which was mostly her fault.
"She kissed me and well, tried to come on to me…" Rick admitted awkwardly. "But I told her no," he stated firmly.
"Oh." A huge emotional wave of relief washed over Kate. She kept quiet to see if Rick would continue, but he didn't go any further. "That's it?" Kate questioned.
"Yeah. I promise nothing else happened. I mean, we've hooked up a few times after our divorce, but this time I didn't want to because… my heart was somewhere else." Rick looked at Kate with sincerity.
"Please don't be mad." His eyes entreated Kate for understanding.
She couldn't be angry at him at all for the incident, which wasn't even his fault. Rick had done the honorable thing by turning his ex-wife down in favor of staying faithful to Kate. Maybe he did think of their relationship as something more than just casual…
"It's okay, I'm not. I don't think I'm allowed to be mad even if you did do something with her…" Kate said cryptically.
"Why's that?" Rick wondered aloud.
"Because of the Demming thing…" Kate brought up slowly. Hearing Rick's admission made Kate feel all the more guilty about her seeing Demming.
"Oh. Right," he said with a clenched jaw.
"Yeah…" Kate's wispy voice tapered off.
Rick's demeanor shifted visibly at the mention of Demming's name. A deep frown spread across his face, displeased by the reminder of Kate's other suitor. Kate could sense Rick tensing up and pulling away from her physically. He reached over to the table to refill both their glasses and took a generous gulp from his, needing more alcohol in his system.
"The Demming thing was not okay…" Rick stated plainly after a long pause, gazing broodingly into the distance.
"I know," Kate admitted in a quiet voice. She picked up her wine glass and held it close, intently observing the burgundy liquid slosh in the crystal vessel while avoiding eye contact with Rick.
Rick's stomach churned as he thought about how to approach the topic while they were being open and honest with each other.
"What happened between you and him?" he finally asked.
It was Kate's turn to be honest with Rick about her extracurricular liaisons. "Remember that robbery-homicide case we were working when you left for your tour?" He nodded.
"Well, Demming joined our team to help us with the case since it involved a stolen phone prototype. He eventually tracked it down and helped me get a confession from the suspect."
"And then what?" Rick prodded.
"And then… he kept asking me out so we met up a few times after that for drinks and dinner. Nothing serious."
Rick considered the lack of details Kate was offering. He really didn't want to ask the next question, but he had to know the truth. Rick turned to look Kate squarely in the eyes.
"Did you sleep with him?" His voice was strained, clearly rife with jealousy.
"No, god no," she insisted. "We didn't go anywhere nearly that far."
Phew. Rick let out a breath of air that he didn't realize he was holding.
"But while we're being honest..." Kate continued. "We did kiss," she admitted ashamedly. "Once."
"When?
"While he was helping me move my stuff into my new apartment. I'm sorry Rick," Kate offered genuinely. "I should have honored what we had even though you were away…"
Rick nodded in somber agreement. His face was etched with tension, but didn't betray much emotion beyond that.
"Honestly, I was using him as a distraction from you. That's why I continued to see him even after you got back. I just wanted to forget how hurt I felt and how much I missed you," Kate confessed.
"Are you mad?" she asked.
Rick sighed longingly and turned back to face Kate. "Kind of, but I forgive you. What's done is done. It's in the past and all we can do is move forward."
"I think so too," Kate said with a breath of relief. "Thank you."
Kate was incredibly grateful that Rick was willing to forgive her so readily. He really was such an amazing man with a good heart like that. She still wanted to make things right between them somehow though. It was something she felt she had to do.
Rick leaned back against the couch swing, reclining against the soft cushions. Kate still had her legs pulled back close to her body, away from him. She played with the stem of her wine glass and observed Rick carefully in silence.
The sea breeze brushing against beach grass filled the silence of the lull in conversation. Kate wanted to know how Rick was doing, how he was really feeling inside. Rick was pretty good at concealing his emotions and maintaining a composed demeanor whenever they were at work, but Kate knew that there was so much more intense emotion brewing beneath the surface.
Kate moved closer to Rick and reached over to take his hand in hers.
"How are you doing, really?" she emphasized. "I know these past few months have been rough on both of us and we haven't had a chance to really catch up. I want to know how you're feeling." Kate squeezed his hand with reassurance.
Rick pondered for a moment, thinking back to all the emotional turmoil he had been through in the past half of a year. Everything with Kate had been fragile from the start, the Europe trip had interrupted a lot of other things in his life, and Alexis was going off to college soon… There was so much craziness going on and Rick was struggling to juggle it all.
He hadn't really opened up to anyone else about any of this. There just wasn't anyone else he felt close enough to confide in. As he held Kate's hand, he found that genuine, deep companionship they used to share once again. The simple physical gesture connected them more intimately than what one could perceive on the surface.
Kate studied his eyes intently, wondering what complexities and struggles lay behind those irises.
"I'm… not that okay," Rick finally conceded.
"Why not?" Kate asked with concern.
"Well, Alexis is leaving for college soon. She's growing up so fast and I'm just not ready for her to go. And after the Europe tour… you left right when I got back. And my mother is moving in with Chet. I just feel like everyone that I lov-care about is leaving," Rick sighed defeatedly. He barely caught himself before using the L-word.
The thought of the women he loved most in the world all leaving brought Rick a heavy sadness. Everything was changing so quickly and he wasn't ready for it.
Kate's heart broke for him. She didn't realize that her leaving had so closely coincided with those other major events. That coupled with Alexis going off to college and his mother moving would surely take a toll on him emotionally. Three people Rick cared about so much leaving at the same time would be devastating to him.
"Oh Rick," Kate expressed with compassion. She set down her wine glass and embraced him instead. Kate ran a hand through Rick's hair and cupped his head with her hand, gently cradling him and caressing him. He let her hold him, relishing the warmth of her loving embrace.
"I know things are changing and it's scary, but that's how it goes in life. Everything changes," she whispered into his ear without breaking the hug. "Alexis got into a lot of schools around New York so there's a good chance that she'll still be in-state or relatively close to home. She's a responsible girl and you know that she can handle herself. Plus I'm sure she'll come home and visit during the holidays and breaks. You have to let her grow up sometime…" she said in a soothing voice.
"I know…" Rick acknowledged begrudgingly.
"It's going to be okay. Just because Alexis is going off to college doesn't mean you're going to lose her. She'll always be your daughter."
Rick nodded with affirmation, feeling comforted by her words. Logically, Rick knew that he had to let Alexis leave the nest eventually. He really just needed to share his worries out in the open with someone.
She pulled back to look deeply in his eyes. "As for me," Kate continued, addressing Rick's other concern. She couldn't stop Alexis from leaving or growing up, but this one she could fix. "I'm here now and this is exactly where I want to be." Kate took his hand in hers again and squeezed it reassuringly with a confident smile.
Rick's forlorn demeanor softened as he gazed upon Kate's kind face and considered her words. They were encouraging yet vague at the same time. He still wasn't clear what terms they were on in regards to their relationship. Both Rick and Kate still had doubts and fears about each other and their nebulous affair.
"But what are we even doing?" he asked her.
That she didn't have an answer for. "I don't really know…" Kate admitted honestly. A pensive expression crossed her face as she thought about their past history together.
It was high time they addressed the meaning of their relationship. They were both still afraid of what would happen if things didn't work out, but they needed to put these fears out in the open and face them together.
"It's like we've been doing this dance with each other for the past two years…" Kate observed thoughtfully.
"What happens when the music stops? What if all we were in love with was the dance?" That was her greatest fear—that things weren't serious between them. That they would fall apart eventually, which would break her heart.
Rick countered with another hypothetical. "What if we continue being extraordinary together? We'll never know if we don't try…"
Her partner was always the optimist. That was something she loved about him. He always knew how to bring hope to even the darkest of days.
They gazed into each other's eyes intently, captured by each other, both considering his proposition in silence. Rick wasn't sure if what they had was real, but he knew exactly how he felt about her. That he knew was real and he wanted her to know.
"Kate, this was never about the sex for me," Rick finally remarked. "This is so much more than that to me."
Kate's heart sped up when she heard his words. "Me too," she breathed quietly, still with her arms wrapped around Rick in an intimate embrace.
"We never talked about us being more…" he pointed out. "I think we both deserve more than this," Rick stated firmly.
"I agree."
"What you said about not belonging in my world," Rick began, recalling what Kate had claimed when she ended things that day in the precinct. "The whole literary rock-star scene isn't really my world anymore. I want to be here. I choose to work together with you every day and I hope that us being partners for the past few years proves that I can belong in your world too."
"I know that's not you anymore…" Kate expressed. "I'm so sorry for judging you like that. You're an amazing man and I'm beyond lucky to have known you, much less to have you as a partner and a friend… and as more than that. Our partnership, our relationship, is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me," she realized out loud.
Damn. She was falling for him. Or had fallen for him. Kate didn't know. Whatever the case, there was definitely some falling involved.
Rick's heart swelled with joy as the woman he loved confessed how much he meant to her too. Radiant grins spread across both of their faces respectively at the new development in their romantic relationship.
"You know I'm bad at letting people in. But I'm going to try. I'm going to try and trust you," Kate declared. "Because I believe that we can be extraordinary together rather than ordinary apart."
"I believe in us too," Rick concurred. He picked up their wine glasses and offered Kate hers, proposing a toast.
"To us," Rick grinned with hope sparkling in his eyes, raising his glass.
"To us," Kate echoed.
They clinked glasses and finished drinking the last aliquots of red wine. After setting down their glasses, Rick turned his attention back to his love and pulled her in for a deep kiss. His lips met hers effortlessly and their eyes fluttered shut to feel what the eye couldn't see.
His tongue sensually explored the caverns of her mouth once more, licking, tasting, and dueling with hers. Rick wove his fingers through her luscious hair, bringing his hand down her jawline to cup her cheek. Kate's hands eagerly roamed Rick's neck and chest, needing to feel every inch of his body and claim him as hers.
"Mmmm" Rick mumbled, letting out a low hum of satisfaction that reverberated against Kate's mouth. He could feel her grin against his mouth and saw that she was indeed smiling when he briefly opened his eyes.
Kate broke the kiss to climb onto Rick's lap, straddling him suggestively. She resumed kissing him again, this time more deeply and forcefully. His hands traveled up the skirt of her dress, grabbing a handful of her bare ass.
They hungrily sucked and nipped at each other with fervor, the passion and desire between them escalating rapidly as they devoured each other's mouths. Hearts were racing, pupils were dilating, and hands were wandering to hidden places.
They took each other's breath away, both now panting and gasping for air. Rick broke his mouth from Kate's to lead a blazing trail of kisses down her neck, paying special attention to her sweet spots. Lust burned like molten lava in her loins as Rick tasted her sensitive flesh. The deep desire for him only grew hotter by the second, now leaking onto her panties.
Kate grinded her hips into his as he grazed her neck, eliciting a groan from Rick. She could feel the signs of his arousal caused by her wicked actions growing more and more evident.
"Do you want to?" she asked breathlessly, as if the answer wasn't already so obviously pressing against her lower body.
"Mmhmm," Rick acceded with a low growl against her neck. He was already pushing down the thin straps of her dress and unclasping her bra.
"Inside? Or… uhh," Kate could hardly form words as Rick moved his attention to her breasts, now free of their confines.
"It's a private beach," Rick explained tersely. "The closest neighbors are a mile away."
"Oh, okay. Good."
Rick buried his face in her topless bosom, relishing the feel of her soft milky flesh. He took one nipple in his mouth, sucking gently, and pleasured the other with his skilled fingers. Kate moaned as he stimulated the sensitive mounds, the titillating sensations only arousing her further.
When Rick resurfaced, he captured her lips once more. Kate unbuttoned his shirt as they kissed, expertly removing it without breaking their connection. Her hands moved down to his pants, massaging the massive bulge that was straining for release. She felt his erect member with her hands, hard evidence of his desire for her.
Kate undid his buckle and removed his pants and boxers swiftly, finally freeing his solid, throbbing cock. She dismounted the swing and knelt in front of Rick between his legs, taking his shaft in her hand and stroking it a few times. Rick watched with mesmerization as Kate ran her hot tongue up and down the length, preparing to take him in her mouth. She laved the sensitive head with teasing sweeps of the tongue, sending searing pleasure through his loins.
Kate finally went down on him, taking a good length of his cock in her mouth. Her lips tugged sinfully at his velvety shaft as she bobbed up and down, giving him delicious friction. Rick wove his hand through her hair, encouraging her actions. Kate took him as deep as she could into her throat, testing her gag reflex. Rick threw his head back and moaned with unabated pleasure as she serviced him eagerly. She alternated between sucking with her mouth and pumping him with her hand in a twisting motion. Rick was in heaven from receiving her enthusiastic performance.
Hearing his deep, guttural moans was really getting her off. He had barely touched her, yet heat was pooling at her core and burning, burning. The need to feel him inside her was becoming unbearable. Kate looked up at him, pupils dark with desire.
"Rick, I need you inside me," Kate demanded.
She stood up and reached under the skirt of her dress, pulled down her tiny, soaking thong, and discarded them carelessly. Kate mounted Rick on the bed swing once more, positioning herself with his shaft at her entrance. He guided the tip of his cock into her as Kate held onto his shoulders for stability. They both groaned with immense satisfaction as she descended onto him, taking his length into her pussy. She shuddered at the first penetration, feeling him stretch her deliciously.
"Oh Rick," she moaned as she sank down on him.
"God Kate" he groaned, feeling the hot walls of her sex envelop him. "You feel so good."
Kate started moving up and down gradually, enjoying the sensation of him repeatedly filling her to the hilt. Rick let his hands and mouth roam her naked flesh while he watched Kate pleasure herself with his body, equally enjoying every carnal movement. Though they had been together many times before, each sensation was no less stimulating. She sped up her movements, now bouncing up and down at a faster pace with shallower strokes. More friction accompanied this increased tempo, giving them each more pleasure.
Rick met Kate's lips for a quick kiss as she rode him vigorously, both panting for breath as they climbed the mountain of consummation together. Shockwaves of ecstasy rippled through their bodies every time she slammed down onto him, bringing them both closer and closer to the peak of eros. She looked right into his eyes as she continued riding him, her hot breath and slick body overwhelming his senses. Rick held onto her hips firmly, now actively partaking in generating movement. He thrust upward into her forcefully with an even faster rhythm.
"Ugh I'm close," she panted heavily as she fucked him.
Kate was starting to lose herself to the passions of the flesh, dangerously close to the edge of climax. Rick was right behind her on the trail to euphoria, his heart thundering in his chest. He brought a finger to her clit, stimulating the ultra sensitive bundle of nerves. That coupled with just a few more powerful strokes sent Kate over the edge, her body trembling with pure, unadulterated pleasure.
"Oh god Rick," Kate sobbed, coming hard, throwing her head back in reckless abandon. She seized up as the state of complete euphoria overcame her body.
The feeling of her walls clamping down on him sent Rick into ecstasy too, finally reaching his climax.
"Oh fuck Kate," he exclaimed. Rick moaned loudly as he came, shooting his hot seed into her. He held her hips still as he spilled into her, over and over.
Kate slowly milked out his load, riding out the last waves of their orgasm. Their panting breaths and rapid heartbeats gradually slowed down to normal rates. They finished up this round of sex with needy kisses and satisfied sighs, the motion of their bodies reaching a standstill. After coming down from that wonderful high and regaining her breath, Kate dismounted Rick and started gathering their clothes.
"Come on, let's head to bed," Kate suggested. "So we can do that again," she enticed with a naughty grin.
"As you wish," Rick smiled dreamily back at her.
Kate took his hand with her free one and navigated into the house with Rick in tow. Back in his bedroom, they climbed into his luxurious bed and proceeded to make love to each other again and again all throughout the night.
Even though they hadn't said it in so many words, this time they knew where they stood and how they felt about each other. Who was to say they couldn't be here for now? They were one step further from unsure and one step closer to a hundred.
So this is where you are and this is where I am
Somewhere between unsure and a hundred
A/N: Merry Christmas everyone! My gift to you, this LONG chapter. FYI, the song lyrics for this chapter are from "Hundred" by the Fray, which is where the title of this story comes from.