A/N: And I'm back! Thank you guys for waiting so patiently while I slogged through summer school. Truth be told, I don't think I did very well, but then again, chem is my worst subject. Also, I'm never taking summer school again. It's just painful. Anyway, I have two months to relax and write chapters, so expect regular updates (twice a week is what I'm aiming to do).
I know I've put this warning up before, but MANGA SPOILERS. Also, Jean really likes ranting.
Chapter 20: Jean Should Keep His Eyes to Himself
erwinsmith started a conversation with humanitystrongest.
erwinsmith: Levi.
humanitystrongest: What is it?
erwinsmith: The government is doing an inspection of the Survey Corps. And by the government, I mean the Military Police.
humanitystrongest: What for? We haven't done anything to those bastards.
erwinsmith: It's for "archive" purposes. Frankly, I think they're up to something suspicious, but it's best to let them do their own thing so they don't see that we are suspicious of them.
humanitystrongest: Whatever.
erwinsmith: Okay. I'll drop by your office and give you the form.
humanitystrongest: Yeah.
titandestroyer started a conversation with strategicpoint.
titandestroyer: this is stupid
titandestroyer: why do we need to fill out this stupid form?
strategicpoint: Cause the Military Police are "secretly" trying to round up the Survey Corps and get rid of them.
titandestroyer: whoa, really?
strategicpoint: I assume so...there's really no other reason to do so
strategicpoint: They think we're meddlesome
titandestroyer: well, we are trying to overthrow the king...i think that constitutes a pretty good reason to spy on us
strategicpoint: Yeah...
strategicpoint: Wait...this isn't Eren...who is this?
titandestroyer: sigh...
titandestroyer: It's Mikasa.
titandestroyer: Eren kept getting distracted from filling out the form, so I confiscated his phone
titandestroyer: How did you know? I even typed like him and everything
strategicpoint: I don't think he knows what "constituted" means
titandestroyer: Damn it...I need to work on that next time
strategicpoint: Next time?
strategicpoint: How many times have I been texting you instead of Eren?
titandestroyer: Talk to you later, Armin...
erwinsmith started a conversation with jeanchevaljean.
erwinsmith: Chevaljean.
erwinsmith: I mean Kirschstein.
erwinsmith: My apologies.
jeanchevaljean: ...yes, commander?
erwinsmith: I need you to drop off the forms to the Military Police office. I would do it myself, but I need to deal with something. Can you do it?
jeanchevaljean: yes sir!
erwinsmith: I need you to do one more thing for me, Cadet.
jeanchevaljean: yes?
erwinsmith: If you hear any useful information there, let me know. Understood?
jeanchevaljean: understood.
jeanchevaljean started a conversation with freckledjesus.
jeanchevaljean: and he called me CHEVALJEAN
jeanchevaljean: i was about to chuck my phone out the window
freckledjesus: I'm sure the Commander didn't mean it.
jeanchevaljean: that's the problem!
jeanchevaljean: he's not even thinking, and he's calling me chevaljean!
jeanchevaljean: IT'S ALREADY INGRAINED INTO HIS HEAD AND EVERYONE ELSE'S
freckledjesus: So, why did he contact you?
jeanchevaljean: oh, i'm just bringing those forms to the MP office
freckledjesus: Ah...
jeanchevaljean: honestly, couldn't they have come up with a less conspicuous way of gathering information on us?
jeanchevaljean: i'm pretty sure they have spies ready to kidnap us at a moment's notice
freckledjesus: You should suggest some things to them, Jean. I'm sure they would appreciate that :)
jeanchevaljean: very funny ._.
jeanchevaljean: ah shit
freckledjesus: What is it?
jeanchevaljean: i just tripped over a toy and i dropped the forms
freckledjesus: Are you okay?
jeanchevaljean: jesus
freckledjesus: I'm Marco
jeanchevaljean: ...where is your snarkiness coming from
freckledjesus: I don't know :O
jeanchevaljean: anyways
jeanchevaljean: i tripped over a toy HORSE
jeanchevaljean: am i cursed or something
freckledjesus: Er...
jeanchevaljean: i must be
jeanchevaljean: the other day jaeger asked me if i was gonna visit my family
jeanchevaljean: and i was confused cause we weren't even going to trost
jeanchevaljean: and you know what he does?
jeanchevaljean: he points to the horse stables, and tells me that they're waiting for me
jeanchevaljean: that fucker
freckledjesus: Okay Jean, calm down.
jeanchevaljean: I AM NOT GOING TO CALM DOWN
jeanchevaljean: I AM NOT GOING TO BE MADE FUN OF LIKE THAT
jeanchevaljean: help me think of something, marco
freckledjesus: Uh...
freckledjesus: Did you pick up all the forms?
jeanchevaljean: oh thanks for reminding me
jeanchevaljean: i almost missed one
jeanchevaljean: it almost got blown away from me
jeanchevaljean: ...huh
freckledjesus: What now?
jeanchevaljean: it's the corporal's form
jeanchevaljean: i doubt he would have minded if the MP didn't get their hands on it
freckledjesus: I don't think he would want a complete stranger to know all of his personal formation.
jeanchevaljean: rather a stranger than the corrupt MP
freckledjesus: True...
jeanchevaljean: ...oh my god
freckledjesus: What?
jeanchevaljean: ...you're not going to believe me if i tell you
freckledjesus: Stop being so dramatic
jeanchevaljean: i'm not kidding
freckledjesus: Sigh...test me, Jean
jeanchevaljean: have you ever heard the corporal's last name?
freckledjesus: ...come to think of it, no. It's always just Corporal Levi. Like Madonna or Cher.
jeanchevaljean: who?
freckledjesus: Uh, nothing.
freckledjesus: But what of it?
jeanchevaljean: the corporal's last name is...
potatopotahto started a conversation with jeanchevaljean.
potatopotahto: Interesting find you've got there
jeanchevaljean: what are you talking about?
potatopotahto: Don't play dumb with me. Levi's last name
jeanchevaljean: what? how did you know that?
potatopotahto: I saw Marco turn really pale, and he was holding his phone
potatopotahto: So I took a peek at the screen :)
jeanchevaljean: hey! don't take advantage of marco like that!
potatopotahto: Oh don't worry, he's recovered now
potatopotahto: But it would be really interesting if SHE found out
jeanchevaljean: DON'T TELL HER
potatopotahto: Why not?
jeanchevaljean: i'm scared to see her reaction when she finds out...
jeanchevaljean: plus the commander will know i peeked at the personal forms
potatopotahto: Well, maybe you SHOULDN'T HAVE PEEKED
jeanchevaljean: I COULDN'T HELP IT
jeanchevaljean: one of them almost got blown away by the wind
potatopotahto: Excuses, excuses
jeanchevaljean: just don't tell anyone, okay braus?
potatopotahto: About that...
jeanchevaljean: who did you tell...?
potatopotahto: Connie
jeanchevaljean: and...?
potatopotahto: ...Historia
jeanchevaljean: and?
potatopotahto: Ymir...
jeanchevaljean: who else
potatopotahto: Erenarmin
jeanchevaljean: potato girl
jeanchevaljean: you are so dead
potatopotahto: You gotta catch me first XD
titandestroyer: i can't believe this
strategicpoint: Neither can I
titandestroyer: are they actually related?
strategicpoint: I don't know...but I wouldn't be surprised if they were
titandestroyer: i can't believe it...
strategicpoint: You've said that already
strategicpoint: But I wonder, does she know?
titandestroyer: obviously not
titandestroyer: otherwise she would have tackled him by now
strategicpoint: At the rate this gossip is spreading, both them will find out pretty quickly
titandestroyer: you know
strategicpoint: Yeah?
titandestroyer: maybe that's why he kept his last name secret
titandestroyer: or else we would have been talking about it for ages
strategicpoint: Good point...
titandestroyer: so...who's going to tell her?
strategicpoint: You, obviously
titandestroyer: me? WHY
strategicpoint: You're closer to her!
titandestroyer: you want me to be in the direct line of fire?
strategicpoint: You can handle it. Just go all Titan on her
titandestroyer: ._.
strategicpoint: And she'll be fine
titandestroyer: i doubt it
strategicpoint: I see her now, go tell her
titandestroyer: but everyone's there!
strategicpoint: Better to do it in public when there's witnesses
titandestroyer: ...fine then?
titandestroyer: cover for me?
strategicpoint: Sure.
jeanchevaljean: i swear sasha, if you told her, i'm gonna kill you
potatopotahto: Relax, Jean.
jeanchevaljean: RELAX? i'm about to get my ass whooped for this
potatopotahto: I didn't tell Mikasa, if that's what you're going on about.
jeanchevaljean: BUT YOU TOLD EREN AND ARMIN
potatopotahto: Yeah, but that doesn't mean I told them that the Corporal has the same last name as Mikasa
jeanchevaljean: ...
jeanchevaljean: what did you tell them then
potatopotahto: You'll find out eventually :)
jeanchevaljean: POTATO GIRL
potatopotahto left the conversation.
strategicpoint: Well...that was embarrassing.
titandestroyer: YOU THINK
strategicpoint: At least Hanji took it all in stride
titandestroyer: after she
titandestroyer: i mean they said they have a brother named Levy Zoe in the Survey Corps
strategicpoint: I feel like Hanji's bullshitting us
titandestroyer: maybe, but then she said the corporal's last name was actually-
strategicpoint: Let's just pretend this never happened, okay?
titandestroyer: deal.
strategicpoint: And don't tell Mikasa.
titandestroyer: tell mikasa what?
strategicpoint: Uh, what we just talked about...
titandestroyer: i dunno
titandestroyer: i mean, you could be talking about levy zoe for all that matter
strategicpoint: About Levi's last name?
titandestroyer: why not?
titandestroyer: i mean, it's not like gonna kill her or anything
strategicpoint: No, but she's going to kill a certain family member that she's fought plenty of times
titandestroyer: ...family member?
titandestroyer: don't tell me his last name is ACKERMAN?
strategicpoint: ...Crap. Uh, Mikasa, I can explain
strategicpoint: And where's Eren?
titandestroyer: Don't worry, he'll wake up in a few minutes
strategicpoint: Mikasa!
mikasassasin started a conversation with humanitystrongest.
mikasassasin: Corporal Levi.
humanitystrongest: I thought you didn't respond to short leviathans.
mikasassasin: So you admit you're one?
humanitystrongest: What do you want.
mikasassasin: I've heard rumours going around about our last names...or should I say last name.
humanitystrongest: ...
humanitystrongest: Just mere coincidence, as far as I can tell.
humanitystrongest: I doubt I could actually stand to have you as a relative.
mikasassasin: Same here.
humanitystrongest: By the way, who did you hear this information from?
mikasassasin: None of your business.
humanitystrongest: Oh, it is my business. I don't want everyone going around knowing my surname.
mikasassasin: I'm sure you can use your head to figure out who it was.
mikasassasin left the conversation.
And true to her word, Levi found out who it was, and Jean was punished by being forced to clean the horse stables (to Eren's delight). And nobody dared mention the name Levi Ackerman again.