Chapter 43 Hundred

The next day Beckett arrived at the 12th precinct well-rested and ready to dive back into her work. Sitting down at her desk, she busied herself with reading files and catching up on currently ongoing cases. Time passed by rather quickly as she was engrossed by the files, actively storing details down to the minutia in her memory bank.

By late morning, Castle still hadn't come into the precinct; his absence was particularly noticeable to the detective. She sent him a few texts throughout the day, but only got terse messages with vague excuses in response, which was rather odd. By the time 5 pm rolled around, Beckett packed up her things and decided to go check on Castle at his apartment.

A quick and familiar car ride led Kate straight to the place she had previously called home for a few blissful months. She knocked on the door, not wanting to barge into Castle's place with the spare key she still had in her possession. Rick opened the door to meet the surprise visitor, finding Kate on the other side.

"Hey," she chirped melodiously at her partner. "Where have you been all day?" Kate asked, inquiring of his MIA status.

Rick frowned at her, having been in a brooding mood for the better part of the day. His heart was still freshly wounded after seeing Kate interact with Demming last night. She was the last person he wanted to see right now, but he needed to talk to her face to face to finally come to a conclusion about their relationship.

"I had to meet with my editor to review and submit my rough draft of Naked Heat," Rick explained unenthusiastically. "What are you doing here?" he questioned in return. There was a hint of coldness in his voice that did not go unnoticed by Kate.

A perplexed look crossed Kate's features. "I came here to get my stuff… and to see you," she quirked her head to the side, confused as to why she needed a reason to justify coming over.

Kate scanned Rick's face curiously and picked up on his somber mood, which was a stark divergence from how she left him last night. She wondered what could possibly have happened in the past 24 hours to make him so upset.

Kate stepped forward toward him, entering the loft. "Rick, what's wrong?" Her hand met his arm, rubbing it tenderly with concern as she implored him.

Rick sighed heavily, pulling away from Kate and removing himself from her reach. "I can't do this anymore," he blurted out.

Kate's heart froze instantly in her chest. "What do you mean?" she asked, startled by his statement.

"This. I'm done. I don't want to be your fuckbuddy anymore," Rick declared explicitly.

The crude term made Kate recoil. His voice was dripping with disgust at the casual, purely physical nature of their relationship.

"I know we started out with no intention of being anything more, but I can't keep doing this Kate," Rick elaborated with a grief-stricken face.

He had given her everything—his home, his heart, his love. He had nothing more to give her. If that wasn't enough for her, nothing he offered would ever be.

"Rick, what are you talking about?" Kate pleaded for understanding, still in a state of shock. She had no idea where this was coming from, but whatever it was Kate needed to fix it immediately.

"Us. Whatever that is or was," Rick growled. "I saw you last night in the precinct. I wasn't trying to follow you or anything; you had left your notebook in the car and I went in to give it to you and say good night. But then I saw you with Demming," he fumed, flares of jealousy scorching his heart.

"You went straight back to him, right after we got back. Just like that, without a second thought," he shook his head in dejection, his strained voice trailing off.

The pain in his voice and the hurt in his eyes struck Kate to her core. It killed her that she was causing him this kind of emotional strife again. She thought about how it would have appeared to Rick if he had seen her conversing with Demming.

"That's… not why I was talking to him," Kate said slowly, realization dawning on her. This was all a misunderstanding. She mentally kicked herself for hugging Demming goodbye last night.

"God Kate, if you never wanted more you could have just let me know," Rick continued.

"If you cared for me at all, if you ever even cared, you would have told me before and spared me the heartache." Rick's anger dissipated into despair, revealing the true nature of his broken heart.

"I do care about you," Kate declared. She loved him and was trying to earn back his trust, which obviously required a reasonable explanation for last night.

Rick turned away, trying to hide his inner turmoil from her determined gaze.

"Will you let me explain?" she entreated.

Kate saw the look of despair written on his face, knowing how he must've felt when he saw her interacting with an ex-flame. She moved toward him again and brought her hands to his cheeks, delicately lifting his head so that he was looking directly at her.

With compassion and concern, her voice softened to a gentle tone. "Do you think all the time we spent together in the Hamptons meant nothing to me? Do you honestly think I don't care about you?" Kate asked rhetorically, addressing this mistaken notion.

Rick looked down solemnly. "I don't know what to think anymore," he mumbled.

Things had invariably been complicated between them ever since the beginning. They had constantly tread the line between friends and lovers ever since they got together, ambling back and forth between zones, and Rick was thoroughly confused as to what they were at the moment. Everything they promised each other during the Hamptons trip made it seem like they were moving forward together in a real relationship, but Kate's actions at the precinct with Demming last night said otherwise.

Kate stroked Rick's cheek with light caresses using her thumb. "I meant every single word I said to you there. About us. About how I feel about you," Kate reassured him earnestly, searching his eyes for understanding.

She paused briefly to let those words sink in.

"I was talking to Demming yesterday because I felt like I had to explain why I kept turning him down whenever he asked for something more than just casual dinners or drinks as colleagues."

She stopped to think to herself about her brief involvement with Demming. He had courted her like a perfect gentleman, yet her heart had always been with Castle and always would be.

Kate resumed to further explain what had happened last night. "I had previously told Demming that I didn't want to pursue anything further with him at the time but even after that, it seemed like he was still holding out hope for some reason. Last night I was explaining why I could never be with him, Rick," Kate continued.

She took a deep breath. "I could never be with him… because I'm in love with you."

There, she finally said it out loud, directly to him nonetheless.

Rick's head snapped up instantly, his eyes wide with surprise. "You… what?" Rick breathed incredulously, as if he didn't believe his own ears.

"I'm in love with you Rick," Kate repeated herself, this time with a confident smile forming on her face. She brought her hands upward and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I love you," she emphasized, highlighting the minute nuances between the statements.

Kate both loved him for the incredible man he was and was in love with him at the very same time. She wanted to fight for him and give him all the love he deserved.

"You do?" Rick really couldn't believe this was happening. He had been completely wrong about Kate's interaction with Demming last night, thankfully so. His heart swelled two-fold, overwhelmed by her admission.

"I do," Kate assured him with a wide grin. She saw his face light up with the radiance of pure joy, the kind of joy that she hoped she could bring him for the rest of their lives.

"I… I love you too," Rick stuttered.

His reciprocation of those three magical words made her heart soar. It wasn't unexpected, but to actually hear it from him was bona fide confirmation of what she already knew to be true. His arms naturally found her waist as she brought him in for a deep, passionate kiss that took both of their breaths away.

There they stood, frozen in time, lost in each other and bound by the love they shared. They parted with spectacular smiles plastered on their faces. They could hardly contain their collective happiness, both overwhelmed by positive emotion.

"I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions," Rick apologized profusely. "I shouldn't have assumed you would go back to Demming like that."

"I can see how the scenario would have looked to you now that I think about it," Kate conceded. "I only hugged him because I felt bad for not giving him a fair chance and I wanted to part on good terms. I'm sorry if I made you upset by talking to him."

"It's just… we've never really explicitly said what we were, even during the Hamptons trip. Until now." Rick looked at her sideways.

"Yeah…" Kate murmured in agreement. "But now you know I'm in this for good. Because I love you," she grinned euphorically at Rick. "Always." She used their special word.

"And I love you too," he sighed happily. Rick was sure he would never get tired of exchanging those words with her. "Always," he echoed.

"I can't believe you said it first though," Rick exclaimed. "I wanted to tell you for so long… ever since I got back from my Europe trip."

Rick recalled how he had been planning on telling her when he got home, right before their relationship got completely derailed.

"Really?" Kate's brows furrowed with concern and regret.

She wondered how that might have changed the course of their relationship. Although it probably wouldn't have changed her mind about breaking up with him at the time, it would have made it a lot more painful for her to end it. Kate realized just how much more devastating that episode must have been for him.

"Yeah… I've loved you since before that, but I wanted to wait until you were more ready to hear it. I actually tried to tell you right before you ended things," Rick revealed. He winced, remembering that heartbreaking moment in the precinct break room.

"Oh… I'm so sorry Rick," Kate grimaced.

He quelled her remorse immediately. "It's okay. No more apologizing. We're okay now." The only thing that mattered now was that they were finally together, in love.

"A hundred percent?" Kate wondered aloud.

"A hundred."

Rick pulled her in for another kiss in an attempt to convey all the love they shared. Kate's fingers roamed Rick's back as his hands held her body firmly against his, needing to feel her as close as possible. He lifted her in their embrace, twirling them around in the living room as they kissed.

They couldn't help the laughter and smiles that intermittently interrupted their kiss, for they were both deliriously happy to finally admit how they truly felt for each other. As the kiss ended they broke apart slightly, still utterly entangled in each other. They stood there in close proximity with their foreheads lightly touching, breathing each other in.

Kate sighed with slight apprehension. "I'm scared as hell to love you," she admitted to Rick quietly.

While she loved him with all of her heart, she still couldn't help but feel scared of losing him and vulnerable to heartbreak. Giving him her heart meant that he had the power to break it too. She couldn't stand to lose him.

Rick brought his hands to her face, cupping it gently. "I am too, but that's how I know it's right," he replied. "If it doesn't break your heart it isn't love." He looked earnestly into her eyes.

Kate took a moment to take in his words, searching his eyes and finding that they inspired confidence in her. She knew she could trust him with her heart.

"You're right." She smiled at him, reassured by his response.

Kate remembered a piece of wisdom a dear friend gave to her once: risking our hearts is why we're alive. She knew, deep down in her heart, that he—that they—were worth it.

"I think we're worth it."

"Yeah," he breathed. "We are."

They gazed at each other for what seemed like an eternity with smitten eyes and butterflies in their stomachs. They found themselves lost in amazement at the love, friendship, and intimacy they shared which surpassed all that they had ever known.

"You know, we kind of broke all the rules of 'friends with benefits,'" Kate mused thoughtfully.

"Oh?" Rick inquired playfully.

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure the biggest rule is not to fall for the other person."

"Oops." Rick shrugged unremorsefully. He definitely had no regrets about falling for her the way he did.

"It wasn't part of the plan to fall in love, but we couldn't have turned out any better than I would have possibly imagined."

"I think we were bound to happen one way or the other. There's no way I could have known you the way I did and not fall in love with you…" Rick said assuredly, his eyes brimming with love.

"And I you," Kate replied endearingly to him, reciprocating his affections.

A light bulb went off in Rick's head as a thought came to him. "Does this mean you'll move back into the loft?" Rick asked eagerly. Now that they were back together, he would love to have her move back into the apartment with him and officially make it their home.

Kate hesitated and gnawed at her bottom lip, thinking over his offer. "I still am under the lease for my apartment," she observed.

Rick put on an exaggerated pout in protest.

"We did everything completely backwards too you know," Kate pointed out. "We moved in together first, started sleeping together, fell in love, and then finally started a relationship." Their relationship was undoubtedly an unconventional one.

"So? Doing things in the right order is overrated anyway. Don't you know I'm an expert at upsetting the apple cart?" Rick gave her a cheeky grin.

"Oh yes I'm very well aware of that," she chuckled. "I don't think I should move back in just yet. Let's take it slow," Kate finally decided. "And at least try to do things right this time?"

"Hmm okay." He accepted Kate's answer graciously.

Another idea popped into Rick's mind. "Can we make this our anniversary?" Rick proposed. "We don't exactly have a day that we got together."

"Sure," Kate laughed. "Happy anniversary my love," she whispered to him.

With that, they sealed their special day with a kiss. It would be the first of many.

After all this time, they had finally found the greatest of all miracles: love. They were exactly where they wanted to be, where they belonged: together with each other in perfect harmony. It was a long, rough road of heartbreak and heartache, but they had made it. They had made their way from unsure to a hundred.

Having almost lost each other more than once made them truly treasure the unmatched intimacy and companionship they found in each other. They were two halves of the same soul, two hearts beating as one.

For every mistake and fault they made, there was now forgiveness, trust, and a promise to always be there for each other. Together they could face anything that life threw at them. Together, they were nothing short of extraordinary.

And this was just the beginning—they had a lifetime of love and happiness together ahead of them. For all the good times and bad, for better or worse, they would be together always, sharing the same love.

There was nothing more beautiful and worthwhile.

What we found is second to none
I knew, I knew, I knew this would be love

A/N: So there you have it, a story of how Rick and Kate started a friends-with-benefits relationship and found their way from unsure to a hundred. This story has been in my head for ages, and I'm glad it's finally out. I wanted to have the kind of story that I like to read, filled with romance, humor, and angst... and well, this is it. It only took me a quarter of my life to write… *cough* (120k words is nothing to scoff at though). This story actually turned out a lot better than I expected, thanks to all the input from your comments/reviews.

I hope you enjoyed the ride, through the ups and downs and laughter and tears. I just had to throw in one more speedbump to make the ending more dramatic. For those who stuck around reading my story throughout the years, I want to thank you so much for your continued interest and having faith that I would redeem all the mess I made. You deserve a big gold star! (Seriously, do let me know. I'm curious as to whether anyone stayed from the beginning). Thanks for all the comments, both good and bad, and even the giant comment flame war. I hope you took something beautiful away from this story, especially the knowledge that love conquers all. Merry Christmas everyone!