Hey… so sorry I've been away… for like a year. I wasn't staying committed to this story and decided to focus on school. I can't guarantee I'll post on a regular basis, but I promise to wrap the story up nicely.

As always I don't own THG. Enjoy!

Peyton POV

She woke up. She's crying now. Part of me wants to go comfort her. To wrap my arms around her and tell her everything will be okay. But I can't do that. That would be lying. Nothing seems right in my head. One moment I'll think of her, the next I want to be as far away from her as possible. Mom wants me in therapy. Apparently all I was highjacked for was to be away from Jane. Brainwashed they called it. They gave me medication. It makes me feel dead. Katrina needs medication now too. But for a reason completely different than my own. She was stupid enough to get herself knocked up. Dad is being more reasonable than I thought he'd be. I guess he was furious when he found out she and Finn were fucking, but seriously, who couldn't see that going on? From what I overheard, Finn plans to do whatever he can to make it right. He said he'd marry her. But dad calmed down enough to tell him that a baby isn't a good reason to get married. Yes it's the right thing to do, but he knows Finn and it's not like Finn would just leave. He wants Finn to marry Katrina if he loves her and she loves him unconditionally, besides the baby.

I knew I wanted to be a dad. Before all this happened, I was sure that I wanted to be a dad, and I wanted, hoped and prayed that Jane would be the mother of my children. But know, I don't really care. Babies are smelly and noisy little things. Why would I want one? I'll be an uncle in four months or so.

Jane shifts in her bed. Her crying has ceased. I think she's gone back to sleep. We've been back for almost a week, and this is just what she does. Wakes up, cries, then sleeps for another 24 hours. She refuses to eat or wake up when commanded. Sometimes she chokes in her sleep. Like she's gasping for air. Other times she's whimpering and whispering the words "Please stop." The doctors removed the last bit of scars on her arm. I'm sure she's noticed by now, and I wouldn't be all that surprised if she murders someone about it when she's gotten in her full rest. The corners of my mouth twitch. I can feel it. A small smile thinking about her. Well maybe this is a good sign. Heading in the right direction. I don't think we could ever be what we were, and honestly, I don't really want to try.

I haven't talked with anyone else really much since I've been back. Mostly I just wander the woods or the hospital. And sit on the white tile floor outside Jane's room like I am now. I guess I'm just drawn to her. Or the part of me that existed before still is. But that Peyton is gone.

When we were being held, Isis told me herself, that she didn't have much planned for me. She just wanted me to sit helplessly and listen to Jane scream as she was electrocuted. She gagged me, and told me that if I made any noise whatsoever, she would turn up the voltage to a deadly force in Jane's cell. I didn't want that. I had to listen for three months or so to Jane's plea for me to answer her, just so she would know that I was okay. Then, the day before we were rescued, she jabbed me with the yellow liquid. It looked like a lethal dose. Doctors say it was. She gave the same to the two women who died. She then ordered Damon to grab Finn. That was the last I heard of them. I guess Damon was supposed to kill Aragon and Jane. But something happened between them. He gave Aragon his dose. Then he went to open Jane's cell. She hadn't seen light in three months. Poor girl. He injected the stuff in her, but she fought it. He grabbed her by her hair from what I could see, then pulled her into a side room. She was screaming. Part of me was yelling for her, ripping my hair out and pounding on the door. The other, now dominate part, just sat there, and watched, listened, as he did something horrible to her. I can't say for certain what it was he did. Only she can tell us that. But it was bad enough to make her so stressed that she sleeps for days.

Mr. Hawthorne beating her didn't even make her this stressed. I still hate him for what he did. But Mrs. Hawthorne is asking us to please cut him some slack as he was a victim too. He feels at fault for what he did. But it makes him unable to sleep. That's a huge difference between Jane and her dad. When she's overly stressed, she sleeps for days. When he's stressed, he doesn't sleep at all. But apparently while we were gone, all of Mr. Hawthorne's siblings and mother was here, and something else happened. Mom told me that it was shortly after they found out Katrina was pregnant, Mr. Hawthorne had another episode. He broke free of his bindings and started tearing their house apart. The first person he ran into was his mother. Jane's grandma. He apparently threw her down a flight of stairs before they were able to hold him down. She broke her leg and was air lifted to a special hospital in another district. Maybe even the Capitol. She had brain damage and swelling. Everyone blames Gale, even though we all know it wasn't totally his fault, we still blame him.

I haven't been able to sleep much. I just lay in bed all night. I haven't eaten much either. I haven't gone down to the bakery yet. I don't feel much like baking any more. Although a red velvet cupcake does sound good. Jane was the first one who told me about red velvet. She'd had it in the Capitol when she was younger. She asked if my dad and I make them at the bakery. I said no. She had a look like a puppy who'd just been scolded. I asked my dad if we could make red velvet cupcakes. He smiled. We got a shipment in of the ingredients and instructions of how to make them. Dad had never made them before either.

Speaking of dad, I can hear him down the hall. He and mom are bringing Katrina in today for a checkup. Finn is with them I'm sure. He was ecstatic to hear that Katrina wanted to keep their baby and he wanted in on it.

Jane rustles in her sleep. She won't wake up again for another 4 hours or so. I think I'll take a walk.

So let me know what you think. Want me to continue or should I stop?

Review please