From B:
«Advice about what?»
The answer came during lunch break. Kurt had been worried all morning, he couldn´t get the boy out of his head. His heart was telling him to do something, but his brain was confusing him with all the «what ifs» and «you shouln´t have seen that» and «what can you do, you barely keep yourself together»
Sometimes he really wished there was an off switch for his brain. He wished he could just be without all this thinking. And the thought of acting without worrying about consequences seemed like heaven. He had always envied people that could do that.
From Kurt:
«There is this person, that i don´t know, who seem to be struggling with something. I feel like I should help in some way. But I don´t know how…»
Kurt is a very empathetic person, but he often fails to use this towards other people because he is scared. He doesn´t even know why, or what he is afraid of.
From B:
«Maybe you should try talking to this person? Ask if they need help in any way?»
From Kurt:
«But that is the problem….I don´t know how to talk to people!»
From B:
«You´re talking to me…»
From Kurt
«No. I´m writing to you…..»
From B:
«Still we are talking… :)»
From Kurt:
«It is two totally different things. When I write, I get the chance to think through before I «speak». I have the control. I feel safe. When I talk face to face I always feel so stupid, because I never know what to say. I hate that feeling…..»
«Oh my God» Kurt is panicking. He sent the message before he could think. That was way to much information. He feels nauseous. The phone lights up.
From B:
«You are not stupid, Kurt! You just feel comfortable when you are in control of the situation, right? Most people do. Some more then others. But maybe if you write down what you are going to say to this person it will help you. And maybe it´s not that bad once you get started. If this person doesn´t want to talk, you will know you tried. And if this person doesn´t like you for who you are, they are not worth your time! Courage, Kurt! ;)»
Kurt lets out his breath. He suddenly feel like he has someone who gets him in some way. It´s a good feeling. He types back before he changes his mind.
From Kurt:
«Thank you! I think I really like this person, and that makes me even more scared…Because I want him to like me.»
«Oh, no!» Kurt gasped. His fingers seems to live their own life. And now he revealed his biggest secret. The world starts spinning, and he closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath. «This isn´t happening!» The phone vibrates on the table next to the rest of his lunch, who are forgotten a long time ago.
From B:
«He is lucky….»
Kurt frowns at the answer. Did he mean that?
From Kurt:
«Do you mean that? You are not freaked out over the thought of me being gay? Please, don´t tell anyone!»
From B:
«Of course not, I won´t tell! Would I call you beautiful if that freaked me out? I mean it: He is a lucky guy!»
Kurt stares at his phone for the millionth time these past few days. «You never called me beautiful,»Kurt thinks «You said my eyes were beautiful, but not me. A least not until now…» In spite of that his emotions are acting like they were on a roller coaster today, a little smile is dancing on Kurt´s lips.
A/N: Comments, anyone?