He was getting supplies for our trip back there. He'd forgotten to get food, even a little food for sandwiches. He kept insisting, kept insisting we'd be hungry during the wait.
I honestly didn't know if I wanted to eat anything at this rate. I would probably just throw it back up anyway, my stomach was tying itself into so many knots.
He kissed me goodbye, he kissed me a long goodbye and said he'd be right back.
But that had been a couple minutes ago. The grocer's wasn't far from our house, and I had no idea what was taking him so long. I was tempted to just leave and bring him back myself so we wouldn't be late.
If we were both late...
Well, actually, I didn't know what would happen if we both were late.
But in any case, I couldn't move from where I was standing at the moment.
We stood apart from each other, Irina and I, in that back room. We didn't say anything. Had we said anything? These past few days, aside from greetings and "yes" and "no" did we say anything?
The only thing in this room, aside from the tables and chairs and work materials, was the music box.
I went and wound it, so it could play that melody once again. It was beautiful, as beautiful as the box itself was. The melody also felt familiar to me, and so it calmed me down.
"Sister-in-law..."
By this time, she started crying. Even when she was crying, I would rather stay by that box than her. That was the feeling in my heart.
"Let's stop this already."
It was as though her sobs were becoming in rhythm with the music box.
"It's just us now, we're the remaining candidates."
It's just a statement of fact, but it's stating more than just that.
The other two died...because of someone. There were supposed to be four people at the final selection but now the Senate is going to have a much easier choice than they should have.
"It's meaningless."
Meaningless...
Meaningless for it to come down between the two of us. In the past, we had said that if "I didn't win" or "she didn't win", it would still be for the best as long as it was one of us that won. Because...as long as either of us beat out those two, then we'd bring many blessings onto this small family of ours.
But that was before "beat out" became...
"Sister in law, you should be the queen."
I stop, as she keeps on talking. Her voice is cracking and I can see the tears in her eyes. It occurs to me, maybe those tears are real.
"Because even my brother loves you."
I start. Of course they're real. What could make me doubt otherwise? Because I was afraid? But my sister was sniveling in front of me, and it's clear now that she had also been afraid this whole time.
Irina, I'm sorry.
I hold her in my arms, my poor little sister. She was crying alone in that space between us, but I hold her in my arms and I tell her it's going to be okay. She's going to be okay and we'll figure this all out together, and...
And...
And...
And...
...