«Oh my God!» Kurt is mentally slapping himself. He is screaming inside. Angry and embarrassed. «Why can't I say things properly. I always make a fool of myself.» But Blaine seemed to understand, and he is so kind about Kurt's stuttering and embarrassing words.
And seeing Blaine in Kurt's pajamas wasn't helping either. The thought of Blaine wearing his clothes is very hot some how, and now Blaine is going to sleep in the same bed as him.
«Oh my God!» Kurt breathes again. He can't think about that, his body is reacting just by thinking about Blaine that way, and he can't go out facing him like this. He tries to calm down thinking about other stuff. But thinking about Blaine is pretty much all his brain can do right now.
Kurt is very well aware of that Blaine likes him. And Kurt knows that he likes him too, but he is scared, like always. And Kurt wants Blaine to understand him completely so he can be comfortable around him. The strange thing is that Blaine understands him more than Kurt understand himself sometimes, but he still need to tell Blaine about himself, so he can be sure. But he doesn't know how or where to begin. Maybe today was a start he thinks. He did call Blaine when he was scared and alone at the hospital, and he did talk to him. Maybe a part of him trust Blaine enough to let him in? Blaine has told him things he hasn't told anyone else, and he has been nothing but kind and lovely. Maybe it is time to start trusting people. A least one person. The one sitting in his bedroom, in Kurt's pajamas.
«Maybe you already do trust him?» Kurt tells himself, «You let him into your house and he is going to spend the night. You don't let people do that unless you trust them.» Maybe this trusting thing is sneaking up on him? Kurt breathes out and enters through the bathroom door into his room.
«So…» Blaine says when Kurt comes into the room. «Witch side of the bed do you sleep on?»
«Right» Kurt answers. Nodding towards where Blaine is sitting.
«Ok» Blaine stands up and walk around to the other side of the bed. «You are completely sure about this, Kurt?I can still sleep on the floor or the couch.» Blaine stops and looks right into Kurt's eyes.
«Yes» Kurt whispers and both boys turn towards the bed. In silence they lay down on each side. Kurt turns of the light. For a while both of them is just looking at the ceiling. Then Blaine gently grabs Kurt's hand and gives it a squeeze.
«Good night, Kurt!» He whispers
«Good night, Blaine!» Kurt doesn't let go of Blaine's hand. He can feel the warmth from Blaine flow through his body and his heart beating fast again.
They stay that way for a long time. Listening to each others breath, hand in hand in the dark, and in completely silence. Kurt tries to synchronies his breathing with Blaine's. And he feels much calmer and a comfortable drowsiness is falling over him.
«Are you awake?» Kurt decides that this is the moment. He is so relaxed and comfortable, and the darkness is making it easier. He can just see Blaine as a shadow besides him, and somehow that is more comforting than scary. And Blaine's hand in his is like a safe harbor. Kurt's question is barely audibly.
«Yes…» Blaine whispers from the left side of Kurt.
«I think I'm ready to tell…tell you about myself. I-I need you t-to know.» Kurt can feel Blaine tightens his grip on his hand.
«Ok, I'm not going anywhere.» Blaine rolls over on his side, facing Kurt, but he is not letting go of Kurt's hand. «Is this ok?» He asked gently.
«Yes» Kurt answers and he does the same. They are closer now, face to face, just inches away from each other, but it still feels safe. It is like the only thing separating them is the dark. And Kurt's internal walls. But he can feel them falling closer to the ground, brick by brick. He takes one last deep breath and starts.