Chapter 2

Okay. Okay. After several minutes of staring (during which Sasuke-cat actually went back to sleep, only to be shaken awake and shakily offered breakfast, much to the poor thing's confusion), fighting down rising tidal waves of panic, more staring and actually having an admirably quiet panic session in his bathroom, Naruto now sat opposite Sasuke-cat, who was licking slowly at a new bowl of milk, giving him wary glances every so often.

His brain, which had been sparking thoughts like a disconnected street wire, had calmed somewhat (the panic session had helped in the end) and he was able to think a little.

First, he performed 'Kai!' on himself. Nothing. But even so, he had first seen this cat the previous night, right after the Kyūbi had released Danzō's genjutsu. It was a low chance then that the cat was an illusion, but he had to try.

Next, he took up a small, thick stick from under his bed (it was once the leg of a tiny coffee table he had long forgotten about), and bonked Sasuke-cat on his head to dispel any Henge that might be in play.

For his efforts, he proved there was no Henge, and he got a healthy scratch right across his face and several minutes on his knees trying to coax an irritated Sasuke-cat out from under his bed.

Now they were back to the kitchen table, Naruto staring at the cat who was licking his milk, and trying to ignore the glowing red lump on its head that still peeked out from beneath the makeshift ice pack.

Naruto thought it was a good time to observe, like what Kakashi and Sakura usually told him to do (though Sakura's words usually followed a painful whack to the head).

This … cat? … was not Sasuke. Not exactly. It was more like…a baby Sasuke. Fat, pink cheeks, big charcoal eyes which were still fathomless in their darkness, and large black ears that were pink on the inside and had tufts of the softest black fur sticking out. The hairstyle was the same duck-butt style that the girls seemed to love on him. He had a tail, long, fluffy and soft, that moved absently as Sasuke-cat/kitten? finished off his milk.

The ears and tail seemed to be the only feline parts on him. The rest, as far as Naruto could tell, was fully human. Hands and feet instead of paws, legs and arms just like a human's if not shorter. He wore an outfit similar to when he was still a part of Konoha (Naruto swallowed), a blue shirt with the Uchiha symbol on the back, and dirty white shorts. No shoes.

He was small, barely reaching half of Naruto's calf standing straight. And, as Naruto had noted several times before, he was adorable.

Several questions came to mind.

One: was he really as stupid as everyone thought? How… HOW… had he not seen this the previous night? Well, it had been dark, and he was in a rush, but still...

Two: what was he going to do about this? A large part of him screamed to go to Baa-chan but something strong – predominantly the new seal on his stomach that throbbed every now and then – told him it would be a bad idea.

Three: was this really Sasuke? The real Sasuke? Avenger? Killer of Orochimaru? His best friend? The kitten did not seem to be an illusion, or a disguise, but he could not be sure if it was not a trick.

He was not a Hyūga that could see his chakra, nor was he an Inuzuka who could determine his scent. He could not go into his mind either like a Yamanaka, nor use his 200+ IQ to logic out his identity like a Nara. He was an Uzumaki. What could an Uzumaki do?

All he had were guts and his instincts. Right now, both were telling him that this was possible. Possible … and impossible. Naruto sighed. What good was that?

"Thank you."

He supposed that his instincts had never let him down before. Then Kabuto flashed in his mind and he winced. So his instincts had been wrong about a top-level spy once. That did not mean –

What?

"What?" he stared at the cat.

Sasuke-kitten rocked on his haunches a little (he had been sitting that way to lap at the milk, like a real cat) before looking up at him.

"Thank you. Fo' da milk."

Oh. It could talk. Great.

"Y-you're welcome," Naruto said with perfect calmness (add another pat on the back with his shadow clone to the list).

The kitten smiled shyly. "Wha's your name? My name's Shasu –" the cat suddenly pursed its lips and tried again. "Sa-suke. Uchiha Sa-suke."

"Uzumaki Naruto." It could talk. And it really was a baby. Or a small child. Naruto suddenly felt ashamed for some reason. He averted his eyes from the dripping icepack that drooped on the kitten's head.

"Nawuto?" So cute. The kitten pursed its lips again. "Na – ru – to. Naruto."

Naruto smiled. "Yeah. You got it."

Sasuke-kitten smiled again, his ears twitching in delight.

So this is what Sasuke looks like when he smiles, thought Naruto. He could not help reaching out and scratching behind its ear. Sasuke started purring immediately, nuzzling into his hand.

Naruto smiled regretfully. It did not know him. It was not Sasuke. Not the one he knew. A part of him said it should have been obvious, but hope was never killed so easily.

"Naruto?" Sasuke-kitten pulled away from his hand a bit. "Can you help me? Where I come from, everyone's like me. But here, everyone's so big. It's scary. Can I stay with you?"

Naruto's mouth quirked into a slightly confused smile. "Sure."

Sasuke smiled. "Then, can you help me find my Nii-chan?"

Naruto's smile froze solid. Sasuke-kitten did not notice. "I was with him before. But then, everything went dark and there was a big WHOOSH and when I woke up I was in this place and I couldn't see or smell Nii-chan anywhere." At Naruto's iced expression, the kitten tilted its head, wondering what was wrong. Then he gasped. How could he have been so stupid?

"You don't know what Nii-chan looks like, right? He's dis tall and he has ea'ws and a tail like mine," in his excitement, he slipped back into a baby's lisp. "His hair is longa dan mine, and a diff'went…lighta kinda black. It falls aw'ound his face like dis, an' he has it in a ponytail dat ends about he'we (he struggled to point to a point just below his shoulder blades). And – and…"

"Itachi?" Naruto finally croaked out.

Sasuke-kitten's smile grew bright as the emerging sun. "You know him! You know my Nii-chan!" Yeah, Naruto knew him. What he did not know was why Sasuke was smiling at that news. The Sasuke he knew…

This was not the Sasuke he knew.

"Can you help me find him Naruto? Pwease?" Sasuke's huge eyes quivered with his helplessness. "I – I can't smell him anywhere. Nii-chan was right next to me, but when I woke up, I was alone. I tried to find him by myself, but a lot of scary ladies hit me with brooms when I went in their houses. And den I got so hungry…"

Sasuke started crying a little. Naruto's heart broke a little. "I saw a window open and I jumped in. And den you saw me, and I thought you were gonna to make me leave like da scary ladies, but you didn't let me eat da bad soup, and you gave me milk. I knew you were nice. And dat you would help me. If we find my Nii-chan, he could take me home. Back to my Kaa-san and Otou-sama."

Naruto was confused. Naruto was even a little scared at the end of Sasuke-kitten's explanation (though of what, he did not know). But no amount of confusion or fear could stop the next words from falling out of his mouth. Words as natural to him as breathing.

"Okay. I'll help you, Sasuke."

He was not the Sasuke he knew. But for now, he was Sasuke enough for him.

Naruto decided that he needed information. It still had not really sunken in that Sasuke was now a baby kitten.

A baby kitten.

Naruto still found himself rather mild about the whole thing, despite the involuntary spasms of his right hand whenever he thought of those large ears and fat, fat cheeks. He supposed that the real impact of this would hit him some lonely night around midnight, where he would wake up screaming at the top of his lungs and would once again be threatened with eviction for disturbing the peace.

But for now, he was mild.

He was not a Hyūga, an Inuzuka, a Yamanaka or a Nara. He was an Uzumaki. One of a kind. Which meant that, rather than falling back on decades of clan knowledge from long dead generations, he needed to find information to figure out what had happened to his best friend the only viable way he could.

By listening to the advice of the only family he had.

And indeed, listening to Kakashi, Sakura and even Sai's advice about learning new things (which was given numerous times in the past and was just as numerously ignored) paid off more than he ever thought.

These slabs of paper called books were good for something other than emergency fire tinder/toilet paper.

And the library was more than a blank canvas for any new graffiti that came to mind.

"Yo, got anything in here on cats – uh, baby cats?"

The librarian, who stared at him like an alien fresh off a spaceship and asking her to be an incubator for his babies, silently pointed to an aisle of books at the far end of the building.

"Thanks. Oh! And uh, anything on uh, you know like when you forget big chunks of your life, or people or –?"

"Amnesia?" the woman supplied in a deadpan tone.

"Yeah?"

"Aisle 8."

"Thanks. And…uh…anything on jutsus that could turn you into a kid? Or a cat? Or both?" If he was an alien, the look on the woman's face suggested that he had just asked her to come aboard his spaceship and have his babies for the next 50 years.

And then, she silently pointed to an aisle at the opposite end of the library to the cat aisle.

"Thanks."

Then, he was off. After choosing a simple book on kitten care and the title Understanding Amnesia: Volume 1, he turned to the jutsu aisle, which contained many scrolls rather than books.

After picking out a few he thought were relevant, he settled at a big desk and created five shadow clones; the most he could accomplish with the restriction of Tsunade's seal. It was frustrating since he had promised Sasuke that he would be back within the hour (a feat easy with ten more clones) but it would have to do for now.

After arguing over who would take which books, and who would sit in that chair with the bendy leg, Naruto and his clones settled and began to read. And read. At some point, again following Sakura, Kakashi and Sai's advice/ scoldings/ why-do-I-even-bother-he's-just-going-to-eat-ramen-as-soon-as-I'm-finished-talking talks, they began to take notes.

When his eyes got tired, or his muscles cramped, he (or one of his clones) would get up and stretch and take a walk around the library (it was certainly big enough). Thirst was no problem with the water-coolers present at strategic locations in the building, but when his stomach niggled with hunger he would simply think about Sasuke-kitten's smile and suddenly, chewing on the crackers he had brought with him (only because he always forgot that they were in these pants) was oddly satisfying.

Hours passed, and despite Naruto having to read and reread and reread his rereadings, he was beginning to figure some things out.

There were more jutsu to turn shinobi into children than Naruto felt comfortable acknowledging. Since jutsu that were able to actually regress the body to a younger state were unheard of or even labelled as a 'favourite of shinobi myths', most jutsu that emulated this power seemed to revolve around a specialised Henge no Jutsu – Transformation. Naruto, however, had done the standard test (in his own mind) for a Henge. It made sense though when one of his clones likened it to Tsunade's youthful appearance, and for once, Naruto was patting one of his clones on the back.

However, a jutsu like this only changed the body, not the mind. The scrolls addressed this as well. This Child Turning technique (as Naruto temporarily dubbed it, and whacked the clone who pointed out how lame it was) was usually a Henge combined with some sort of genjutsu, to suppress adult memories and make the victim think he was really a child.

Naruto? Can I stay with you?

False memories were sometimes implanted as well.

Can you help me? Where I come from, everyone's like me. But here, everyone's so big. It's scary.

It was a technique usually used to subdue especially cunning or strong enemies without severely injuring them. But Naruto knew Sasuke. He would not be caught in a genjutsu so easily. Even if he was caught, he could break out. He did defeat Orochimaru after all.

The child Henge he could buy. But the genjutsu? Probably not.

That was where the amnesia came in.

According to his clones, there were also techniques to force amnesia, or medical ninjutsu that could be used to the same effect.

I – I can't smell him anywhere. Nii-chan was right next to me, but when I woke up, I was alone.

Retrograde amnesia was what Sasuke had, where one forgot the past and all its traumas. It could be a few months' worth.

Or years. Even decades.

If we find my Nii-chan, he could take me home. Back to my Kaa-san and Otou-sama.

Forced amnesia. And with the mind weakened, implanting memories with genjutsu became much easier; the overall effect compounded. It was rare, but not unheard of. It had been done before, it was possible to do, and, if done correctly and with a lot of preparation, it was enough to take down someone of Sasuke's calibre. Leaving Sasuke a true child, helpless, confused and alone.

Can you help me find my Nii-chan?

Returning to him a love for Itachi that can only be explained by some sort of brain damage.

That…made sense. It did not answer everything, like how Sasuke still managed to end up in Konoha after being so weakened.

But then, everything went dark and there was a big WHOOSH and when I woke up I was in this place and I couldn't see or smell Nii-chan anywhere.

Could Sasuke have been describing the last, faintest memories he had of the technique that robbed him of all skill, all power, and all hatred?

Naruto did not know. And he still did not have an answer to the cat thing. But, despite how many rests he took now, the words were starting to swim across the page in front of him. He dispelled the clones, who were already dozing. He was done for the day. There was always tomorrow.

And he still needed to finish up his kitten care book –

Naruto froze at the large, callous palm slapped to his forehead.

Iruka Umino was having an odd day. When Udon, having gone early to the library to borrow Leisurely Problem Solving: A Mathematician's Hobby Vol. 7, reported to him that he had seen Naruto rummaging through the cat aisle, Iruka immediately laughed it off as some kind of prank or Henge.

When, five minutes before lunch was supposed to end, one of his student's mothers called out to him in the courtyard and in the midst of casual conversation about her daughter's grades and overall behaviour, she mentioned that she had seen Naruto – six Narutos in fact, sitting in the library with their heads buried in books and scrolls, and taking notes no less, he became intrigued but still convinced it was someone's idea of a joke.

When, as he was packing up at the end of the long school day, one of his fellow sensei told him he still had time to join in the Academy staff's on-going pool that Uzumaki Naruto, who had skipped out on lunch to study in Konoha's library, would also skip out on dinner, well, that was when Iruka decided he would pay a visit to said library.

Simply to humour himself, of course.

He went to the library. He saw Naruto, and his clones. Reading. Reading real books. And every so often (Iruka blinked, squinted and stood on tiptoes to make sure) yes! Every so often, he would take notes.

Iruka could have cried. He almost did – he felt his eyes getting warm, but quickly suppressed it. His kids would not let him hear the end of it if their sensei was caught crying in public. Instead he asked the librarian how long the blond had been there.

Since morning. Udon had been telling the truth.

Still, he did not approach Naruto immediately. It was almost as though the blond had become a rare, endangered species, and if he moved too quickly or carelessly, he would spook him and he would run away, never to return.

So Iruka orbited around his former student, milling around his general vicinity, skimming through the summaries of a few books and every so often stealing a glance in the boy's direction.

Still there. Still reading.

Oh, that was an interesting tidbit about sunflowers he never knew.

Still reading.

Oh, houseflies always hum in an F key. He did not know that.

Stretching. Yawning. Back to reading.

Iruka checked his watch. 45 minutes. He had watched Naruto for 45 minutes and the boy had sat perfectly still, and studied. Iruka let a tear roll down his cheek and he did not care who saw it.

Oh, looks like he was finishing up. Yup, closing the books and scrolls, leaning back, rubbing his eyes and dispelling the shadow clones, definitely leaving. With only fifteen minutes till Konoha's usual dinner time. He could almost hear the groans of his fellow staff, and money being thrown in despair and remorse on a helpless table.

When he was about to stand up, Iruka clapped a hand to his forehead and adopted his most serious expression.

"Are you sick?"

Tired blue eyes blinked twice at him before the slow, bewildered response. "No."

"Is someone you love sick?" Iruka did not miss a beat.

To his surprise, Naruto hesitated a bit. "Not really," he said, averting his eyes. Iruka tilted his head, but did not pursue it. Naruto would tell him when he wanted.

"You've been here since morning?" A nod. "Wanna go get some ramen?" A vigorous nod. Iruka chuckled and walked him out, noticing how he held on to one of the books. A book on … kitten care?

"Oi, obasan," he called to the librarian, who blinked up at him irritably. Iruka did not see why. The woman was obviously in her late thirties. "Can you save this for me? I'm coming back tomorrow and I wanna –"

"You know," she drawled, "you can borrow that book." Naruto blinked. "As in take it home. And bring it back a week later. For free."

Naruto blinked twice and turned to Iruka, who nodded to show it was true.

"That – is – awesome. Who thought of that?"

"I dunno," the librarian smirked. "It's a brand new invention."

"Oh, I see." The librarian chuckled (Iruka knew it was in good nature) and stamped the book. "Bring it back a week from today, Naruto."

"How d'you –?"

"I know the names of all Konoha shinobi. They get special permissions for borrowing from the Hokage."

"Cool. Thanks obachan!" Iruka noticed the quick, yet sincere shift in honorifics. By the librarian's small smile as he left, he knew the boy had once again charmed his way into another heart.

"But if you use amnesia, to make 'em forget they were an adult, and then use the genjutsu to change the kid memories they already have, then it'll work on almost anyone. At least, I think it will."

Naruto took another huge slurp of ramen. It was his fourth bowl, and Teuchi was already cooking a fifth. "For the amnesia, you could use a normal jutsu or medical ninjutsu. I think the medical ninjutsu would be stronger, y'know, 'cause it's … well they train for this kinda stuff y'know?" Naruto stacked away the fourth bowl just as the fifth was placed in front of him. He had come here so often, Teuchi could time him perfectly.

"I see," said Iruka. "So that's what you've been studying today?"

"Yup. Took a lot longer to read it than say it though," said Naruto with a slight hint of frustration. Iruka chuckled.

"That's how it is sometimes. So that 'Child Turning' technique, it's a retrieval and capture method, right?"

"Yeah it's…yeah…"

The mood dimmed silently. "I heard about what happened with Danzō," Iruka told him. "And if you ask me, I think certain members of that Council are getting too senile to be having an opinion."

"Thanks Iruka-sensei."

Iruka smiled, and pointed with his chopsticks to the book by Naruto's elbow. "So, kitten care huh? You have a cat?"

"Uh – uh – well – uh… kind of. I'm gonna be taking care of one for a while." He could never lie well to Iruka. So he changed the subject. "You know anything about cats?"

"Nope. I know about kids, not kittens." Naruto thought on that a little, and voiced a small question.

"What's the difference?"

Iruka snorted into his ramen, quickly apologizing but still chuckling as he cleaned the mess.

"Not much difference really. They both want to play all day and scratch both you and the furniture."

"Yeah. But, like, I dunno. If there's really not much difference, maybe you could tell me some things that will help me."

"I'll try. How old of a kid are we talking?"

"How old?"

"Yup. I teach all classes, from little ones up to you, Sasuke and Sakura's ages when you left the Academy."

"Oh, right. Well…um… I don't really know the age…"

"What's the kid look like? How does he talk, or –"

"Oh! He talks 'like dis Iwuka' (Iruka almost laughed at Naruto's sudden baby talk but managed to hold it in) but when he tries he can talk normally."

"Hmm… sounds like 5 or 6, if he's making a conscious effort on his own to speak well. Could even be 4 or 3 if he's smart. I'll talk from the youngest age, is that okay?"

"Sure."

"Well, kids at that age still need a lot of care. In terms of food, they need a lot of water and natural juices, not the processed stuff. They need to drink water often, even if they don't want to, because if they don't they can become dehydrated. Fruit and veggies are good if you want them to grow healthy." He glanced down at the pork slices in Naruto's ramen. "They can't eat meat like that yet, you need to cut it up in small chunks and it needs to be extra tender. And you can't give them too much or too late in the day or they won't digest it well and then they can't sleep…"

He trailed off to a stop at the way Naruto was staring at him, his mouth hanging open a little.

"Iruka-sensei … why don't you have kids?"

The ramen stand was dead silent for a moment. "Naruto, do you want my advice or not?"

"Never ask that question ever again?"

"Yup."

"Gotcha."

"So, to continue, kids at that age usually have a lot of energy. They get bored quickly and like to run around in the sun, most of them anyway. That's good, because the sunlight on their skin gives them vitamins. But it also burns so make sure to use sunscreen. They also need their naps during the day, even if they tell you they don't… Uh, Naruto? Were we talking about kids, or kittens?"

"Both?" Naruto said with a shrug.

"Oh. Well…hm, I can't think of anything else…oh yes! Potty training is something left to the family usually but you have to make sure you have the proper seating. Most kids are so small that even if they could climb up to the seat, they would just fall into the toilet bowl."

Naruto did not hear what he said to that. His face was growing cold.

"Also they can't hold it in as well as adults, and they're not ninja yet so they don't know the right way to go outdoors, so it's good to always be nearby. Going too far away from them is a big no-no. Even if they were in your house, if you leave them all alone they can get into all sorts of –"

"I gotta go, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto jetted off his stool and out the entrance way. "Thanks for the ramen!" he sounded like he was half-way down the street when the hurried thanks reached Iruka. The Chūnin stared out the entrance, sighed, and finished off his ramen. It seemed that when he was not looking, Naruto had gone off and grown yet again.

He looked down at the abandoned book left beside a half-eaten bowl of ramen. Well, maybe he had not grown all that much.

"Sasuke!"

Naruto stood in the doorway to his apartment, panting not for the distance he had run, but in panic.

"Sasuke! Where are you? Sasuke!"

The bottle of milk he had left for him (which was almost as tall as the little kitten) was half drunk and half spilled all over the floor.

Naruto's heart shook with guilt.

"Sasuke! Please be here! Please answer me! Sasuke!"

He had not meant to stay out all day. When he ran from Ichiraku, it shocked him how dark the sky was. He was supposed to be back in an hour.

"Sasuke, please! Please come out!" Naruto went down on his knees, crawling all over his apartment, checking every crevice for where the kitten could be hiding.

Nothing.

There was only one place left to look. And it stank.

Naruto slowly opened the door to the bathroom and stared. Sasuke…had tried to use the bathroom. But he was too small to climb up, so he went the only other place available to him. He had vomited there too, twice, the milky-white substance congealing into something that would take half a bottle of floor cleaner to scrub off. Two, no three bottles were needed to do the entire floor.

Sasuke was not there.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Naruto shouted, his eyes full to leaking. His clones left, through the window and door, before the smoke of their creation disappeared. Naruto was right on their heels.

It was not long before one of the clones found Sasuke, curled up in an alleyway with his arms over his head and his face to the dust, while a bunch of nameless (and soon to be bloody-nosed) boys tormented the kitten (or as they so affectionately dubbed him, the human-faced demon cat).

The clone made quick work of the boys before scooping the kitten up in his arms and racing back to his original's apartment, where he lay Sasuke on the bed and dispelled himself to send the information.

Terrified and relieved, Naruto burst into the apartment a minute later and hugged Sasuke for all he was worth, whispering desperate apologies into his drooped ears.

Sasuke stank. Naruto did not care.

The kitten was barely conscious as Naruto gave him a much-needed bath in the only metal wash-basin he owned. Remembering the puke he had seen in the bathroom, he sent a clone back to the library to find a book on children's illnesses.

Realising that he had no clean towels or clothes for Sasuke, he sent two other clones on that task.

In the meantime, Sasuke was wrapped in his own orange jacket.

Naruto sat on his bed and waited for his clones, cradling Sasuke close to his chest. The kitten's head lolled weakly, his eyelids in a constant limbo between open and closed, his little mouth open and panting slightly.

Naruto did not know what was wrong. Sasuke was sick, but he did not know what to do. He only knew that he should not have left him alone for so long, but he was not a medic-nin.

But Tsunade was. Shizune was. And the hospital was full of them.

Why was he still here?

Naruto stood back up, then sat down again.

He could not go to Tsunade. Or Shizune. Or the hospital. Going there would mean revealing Sasuke, or rather, revealing Sasuke to Danzō. The man with eleven Sharingan. The man who had no reason to stop at eleven.

Naruto trusted Tsunade. But he did not know the type of power Danzō held, and what, or who, he was allowed to get his hands on. Until he could be assured that Danzō was not a threat to Sasuke, Naruto dared not take the chance. He dared not tell.

Sasuke coughed.

His big words and even bigger resolve flew away in the single breath.

Two coughs later, Naruto was on his feet, his mind made up. If he used a Henge, maybe he could…

In a moment too perfect to describe, his clones returned, bursting in picture-perfect motion through the door and window. In that moment of Naruto's relief, the world grew silent. Then one clone spoke, the one holding the book from the library, and all the sound returned.

"I know what it is," he said, sticking a finger in Sasuke's mouth. He nodded authoritatively. "He's dehydrated. Remember, Iruka-sensei told us about that. He hardly drank anything all day, and he vomited with diarrhoea. His mouth's dry too."

Another clone pulled out a fluffy blue towel from a shopping bag and started drying Sasuke's hair. Naruto handed the kitten over to him, while the first clone told him about the medicine he needed. He sent the third clone out to get the medicine, while the one with the book started working on a homemade salt solution.

"It's to replace elec – electro – uh, good stuff that he needs to replace all the stuff he lost."

While the solution was fed to Sasuke in small sips along with some water, the clone returned with the medicine.

"Was it made by the Nara clan?" the book clone asked. The other nodded, throwing in a muttered insult when the clone wasn't looking.

"What's the medicine for?" asked the original.

"Stomach bug."

"Huh?"

"You know, gas – gaster – gastra… something that makes your stomach hurt and makes you puke and stuff. It's why Sasuke's so dried out. The medicine will fix it."

"Okay."

With that, they tended to Sasuke until midnight, when the tiny Uchiha finally stopped dry heaving, and fell from unawareness into a peaceful sleep.

The four Narutos stared at him for a moment, then sighed as one in relief. Naruto made to release the jutsu, when he remembered the bathroom. If he left it overnight, he knew it would become something uncleanable in the morning.

"I'll treat you all to ramen later," was the tired promise given to the grumbling clones, as he grabbed an extra-large bottle of floor cleaner from under the sink.

Morning fell upon Naruto kneeling at the edge of Sasuke's bed, sleeping with his head nestled in his arms.

With the light falling on his face, Sasuke awoke first. He felt better, and his tummy wasn't making those weird noises that hurt anymore.

He sat up, stretched and realised he was dressed in a little blue nightgown with yellow stars all over it. The sleeves were too long though, and he had to roll them several times to get them to his wrists.

He leaned forward to his knees and crawled, with his legs and tail swallowed in the nightgown, to the sunburst mess of hair at the end of the bed. He tugged at sunshine made tangible for a few moments before Naruto grunted and looked up.

"'suke?" he mumbled sleepily. He blinked. His eyes grew wide. "Sasuke! Are you okay? How do you feel?"

Sasuke stared at him. He scowled and thumped Naruto on the head with his tail.

"You didn't come back. You left me alone all day."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Sasuke. I didn't mean to, I just lost track of time. I'm really sorry."

Sasuke was still frowning, but those fat cheeks made the expression more of a pout. "Don't do it again. I hate being alone."

I know. "Me too." He stretched out a tentative hand. Sasuke still frowned, though his left ear twitched in betrayal. Naruto's hand soon met soft fur, and he scratched behind the traitorous ear, having Sasuke purring loudly despite himself.

"Is that why you left the apartment? Because you were alone?" He stopped scratching, but he did not move his hand from the kitten. Sasuke shook his head.

"I left to find my Nii-chan. But I felt bad and my head was a merry-go-round." Naruto's heart panged with guilt once again. "Did you find him?"

"No, I didn't."

"Can we go looking again today?"

Naruto started rubbing behind Sasuke's ear again. "Sure."

They had breakfast; Naruto had chopped up whatever fruit he had around that was not bad, or from a can, and gave that to Sasuke along with his milk. The clone's memories of that book were really paying off.

After eating, Naruto followed Sasuke to help with his toilet, much to the kitten's mortification.

"It's only this one time," Naruto said with a reassuring smile, "I'm getting a few things today to help you out."

"You're leaving me alone again?"

"Nope. My clones will take care of all the shopping. You and I will do something different."

"What?"

It then struck Naruto a little odd that he was having this conversation while standing over a baby Sasuke-kitten, who was sitting on his toilet with his undies down – undies that were purchased in the cosplay section of Konoha's single pet shop, being the smallest pair that the clone could find – and looking up at him as he held his hands up to stop the kitten from falling into the bowl.

"Well, we're going to the doctor."

Sasuke blinked. Then he jumped to the floor, pulled up his undies and dashed from the bathroom, all in 1.5 seconds. That had to be a record. Naruto knew, without looking, that he was hiding under his bed. Perhaps he should have remembered his own reaction to the word 'doctor' at that age – or now, come to think of it.

Naruto sighed and rubbed his knees, which had gotten sore from their recent, frequent contact with the ground. Then, he grinned with evil glee. When Sasuke got his memories back, he would never live this down.

Prank. Prank. This is only a prank.

Naruto kept repeating these words to himself as he walked up to the nurse's desk, appropriate documentation in hand.

Except she was not Naruto, but Ayaya Azumi, wife of Ayaya Mōta and mother of Ayaya Kota. They were visiting a relative in Konoha, and staying in the Sunset Maple hotel since the relative lived in a small apartment and did not have room for them.

"I'm here to get my little Kota-chan a check-up," she told the receptionist in a voice as pleasant as falling maple leaves. "He was ill last night, and seems better now but I just want to be sure."

"Of course Azumi-san," the nurse stamped her form. "A medic-nin will be with you shortly. Please have a seat over there."

Azumi bowed and took her seat, bouncing Kota in her arms. "Are you okay Kota-chan?" The child nodded, seemingly unable to take his eyes off his beautiful mother's face.

Naruto resisted the urge to burst out laughing. Earlier that morning, much earlier like the time when it was still dark and Naruto was usually having dreams about never-ending seas of ramen but was instead cleaning up Sasuke's puke, an epiphany came to him.

If what he thought about Sasuke's amnesia was true, then he would have to go to the hospital anyway.

And so, after doing some thinking, a few clones could be seen slipping out into the night to stalk the nearby hotels, looking for just the right person from which to 'borrow' a visitor's badge.

After all, when he was (and still is) a prankster, he had memorised the process for visitors entering the village for a certain prank involving the Sexy Jutsu, some chickens, and a whole lot of green paint. Old man Hokage almost skinned him alive for that – it was rare that the citizens of Konoha got to witness their Hokage scream at the top of his lungs (while sporting a prominent nosebleed) at a naked blonde covered in feathers and lying in a pool of…

Sasuke was staring at him strangely, and Naruto suddenly felt the need to change his line of thought.

Visitor's identification forms were verified by Chūnin level attendants, after which the visitor was given a badge to wear around the village. Armed with that badge, a Henge using his Sexy Jutsu, and a common but effective excuse about how 'her' previous identification form was caught in a wayward fire jutsu, Naruto quickly procured an affidavit explaining the circumstances and managed to return the badge to its owner before she awoke.

Even with all the trouble, it was safer to transform into a visitor, because the shinobi and civilians of Konoha were too well known. He would get caught immediately.

"Naruto," Sasuke whispered. Naruto had told him not to speak when they were in front of the healer.

"Yes?" Naruto thought it amusing that Sasuke blushed at the beautiful, feminine reply.

"After this, we'll go look for my Nii-chan, right?"

Naruto nodded, his eyes glancing to the side. "If you're up for it, I'll take you around the village and you'll see if you can smell him."

He knew very well they wouldn't find anything. When Sasuke's eyes lit up and he gave an eager nod, Naruto suddenly felt like the scum of the earth.

"Azumi-san?" a nurse called, and he was grateful to have an excuse not to look at Sasuke's eyes anymore.

The medic-nin was a gentle looking woman (Naruto suddenly realised that the only medic-nin he knew were women, and vaguely wondered why that was) with long dark hair similar to what he was sporting. Her bust size was left to be considered though, but then the only woman he'd ever met to compete with his Sexy Jutsu in that department was Tsunade. Hinata was a close second though…

"All right, let's see little Kota-chan…Azumi-san, are you all right? Your face is red."

"Uh, no, I'm fine," Naruto said quickly, handing Sasuke over and wincing when he realised that he had missed the doctor say her name while thinking about…other things. Staying in the Sexy Jutsu for long periods of time apparently gave him pervy tendencies.

He watched as the healer ran hands filled with glowing green chakra over Sasuke's body. Sasuke squirmed a little at the strange feeling, but was otherwise silent.

"Uh, I was hoping that you'd be able to check his head too." When the medic-nin glanced at him, he managed a small, sheepish smile. "Kota-chan has the habit of trying to crawl out of his crib. We managed it at home, but the crib in the hotel isn't tall enough. He bumped his head the other day and…it didn't look like anything but…"

That excuse was courtesy of another childcare book he had his clones read. Really, why had he never made use of books before? Some great stuff was in them.

"I see. Well, it seems that he's had a little bout of dehydration, and a slight stomach bug, but you've treated it well." Naruto fought the urge to grin at the little bubble of pride growing in his chest; it would give him away.

"He does have a slight head injury, but it's already healing up." She rubbed a glowing finger to the top of Sasuke's head, right between his (hidden) ears. Sasuke sighed at the soothing feeling. With a violent pop of the pride bubble, Naruto recognised the spot where he had bonked Sasuke on the head the previous day to check if he was a Henge.

Just how many things could he do wrong taking care of the kid?

"So tell me, Azumi-san, why is your son in a Henge?"

The question was asked casually, but Naruto knew a bunch of guards and an interrogation were waiting for him if he answered wrong.

"That's my husband," she began, fiddling with her long, brown-cotton skirt and thinking about bust-lines to add a blush to her cheeks. "Our son was born with a…deformity around his ears and, ahem, backside. It's being treated back home, and it's getting better, but he's still ashamed of it. So he uses that Henge to hide it."

The nurse looked at him, scrutinizing his story. Naruto tried not to swallow the growing lump in his throat.

"All right," she finally said slowly. "It's not doing any harm I suppose."

"Thank you." The fact that she did not recognise that Naruto himself was a Henge made him grateful that he went with the Sexy Jutsu. It had just proven itself as the stronger technique. In fact, if he did not give himself away by transforming right in front of people, he wondered how many people would actually be able to tell that–

"Azumi-san." The doctor's sharp tone instantly stopped Naruto's thoughts. He turned to her, fighting down his fear.

"What is it? Did you find something else?"

"Was your son exposed to any traumatic events recently?"

"No."

"I need you to think, Azumi-san. Think hard."

"I'm telling you, no. It was a peaceful journey from home to Konoha. And there's nothing before that."

"Does your husband go off with Kota-chan alone sometimes?"

Naruto told himself to answer like Azumi would. He had been trained in espionage tactics after all, even if he rarely used them. "Of course. He's his father."

"Then I think you need to have a talk with your husband. Your son is showing signs of amnesia."

Ha! Bingo!

"Amnesia?" Naruto responded as calmly as he could.

"Yes. It can be brought on by a number of things, like a hit to the head, or experiencing something traumatic. Even a jutsu could do the job, but I don't think that's the case here. His fall from the crib wasn't enough to do it either. Instead, he's experienced a very traumatic event that he's suppressing. Tell me, has he been acting strangely at all?"

"Not really. He can't talk, so…"

"Any crying at night? Nightmares?" Naruto shook his head. "Well, I'd like to observe him over the course of a few days to –"

"You can't," said Naruto sharply. At the healer's look, Naruto swallowed. "I mean, I need to talk it over with my husband first. We're not staying long in Konoha and…"

"Pardon me Azumi-san but this is your son's mental health we're talking about. He's only a baby. If something suddenly triggers the traumatic memory, the shock alone could kill him." Naruto's hearing stopped. That was a bad habit developing. The healer was still talking, and Naruto strained to hear her.

"We need to find out what the trauma was, and then slowly heal the regress. That could take months, or years depending on the size of the trauma. But first we need to lessen the chances of a sudden memory shock as much as possible."

"I – I understand…"

"Then, I'll take him to a different ward," she said, writing something on her clipboard. "Someone needs to stay with him at all times, preferably family so I'll arrange to have a message sent out to your husband and other relatives. Then you can organise shifts, if you so choose. There's a bed in there as well, so you can stay round the clock if you wish."

"I'll do that," said Naruto, dazed and not hearing. "Uh, just tell me one more thing. Other than the Henge my husband put, did you see anything else? Any other Henge?"

The healer stared. "Why would there be another –?"

"Could you just check? Please? It's important." The healer slowly raised her hands to the child again, pushing out green chakra from her palms. Naruto did not miss her pressing a button under her desk in the movement. He only had a few seconds left.

"No. No additional Henge."

"Are you sure?" Naruto asked, as he heard the wisp of clothes outside the door.

"Positive."

"Thanks."

In a burst of speed, he scooped up Sasuke and jumped through the window, just as the hospital door banged open. They were right on his heels. In a quick instance of concealment in an alleyway, he dispelled his Sexy Jutsu and threw the affidavit into a nearby dumpster.

A few minutes later, there were medic-nin guards searching all of Konoha for Ayaya Azumi. No one thought to question the orange blond leaping across rooftops with a strange bundle in his arms.

"Naruto you liar!" Naruto groaned and threw an arm over his eyes. "You promised."

"I know. But we can't go outside yet. Just give it another hour," Naruto carelessly gave him a timeframe as he went through a mental checklist of his 'Child Turning' technique theory.

Genjutsu: no.

Henge: no.

Amnesia: yes.

Child Turning technique…probably not.

It was so frustrating that Naruto growled. Then he took a deep breath. Then gave up trying to cool himself down and growled again.

What then? What happened to Sasuke? Naruto had looked at everything the library had to offer on the topic. Why was Sasuke a kid? Why did whoever did this even see the need to turn him into a kid? If he was strong enough to cause the type of amnesia that made Sasuke think his parents were still alive and that he still loved his Nii-chan (or that Itachi still loved him), why turn him into a child physically as well?

And seriously, what was with the cat thing?!

Naruto tried to calm down. He knew his thinking was wrong. Sasuke had amnesia. The Healer had said it wasn't caused by a bump to the head or a jutsu.

He's experienced a very traumatic event that he's suppressing.

The boy had seen his entire clan slaughtered in his mind for 24 hours straight from a Tsukuyomi. Trauma? If Sasuke could get amnesia that way, his mind would have been shattered almost a decade ago. He might not have even become a shinobi, let alone one that remembered he had a brother to seek vengeance against.

But that was what the Iryō nin had said. Sasuke had experienced a trauma greater than the slaughter of his clan before his eyes, and got amnesia from his mind's desperate attempt to suppress the memory.

And somewhere along the way, he had been turned into a child/ cat/ kitten.

Naruto dug the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying to rub away his confusion. It never worked in the past, and did not surprise him now.

"You don't wanna help me find my Nii-chan." Sasuke, who had gotten tired after a bout of yelling at Naruto, seemed to have regained enough energy to accuse him.

"That's not true." Yes it is.

"Then come o-on!" He dug tiny claws into Naruto's sleeve and pulled with all of his might. Naruto's arm slid off his eyes, and Sasuke fell back, tumbling head over heels right off the bed.

Naruto leaned tiredly over the side of the bed, and was surprised to find Sasuke crying. He was trying to hold it in, but the sniffling, drooping ears and watery eyes gave him away.

Naruto did the only thing that seemed right. He picked Sasuke up and hugged him to his chest, lying back on his pillow.

"I'll find him," Sasuke sniffled, trying to push himself away. "If you don't wanna help me, I'll go find him all by myself –"

"Sasuke? Are we friends?" Sasuke stopped sniffling and looked up at him with wide eyes and reddened cheeks.

"Friends?"

"Yeah."

Sasuke thought about it. Ever since he met Naruto, he had been nice to him. He had given him food. He had left him alone at first, but then took care of him all night when he was sick. He protected him from those bullies, and he made going to the doctor a lot less scary. Naruto … always looked out for him.

"I think so," said Sasuke after a while. "Yes, we're friends." Naruto smiled. Sasuke thought he looked sad, even though he was smiling.

"Then I won't leave you alone. If you want to go look for Itachi, we'll look for Itachi. I'll help you. I promise. And I never go back on my word, that's my nindō."

Sasuke stared at him. He knew Naruto was telling the truth.

And Naruto was. He had every intention of helping Sasuke look for Itachi. Finding him was a different story. Without his hatred, without Itachi, Sasuke was here in Konoha where he belonged. Naruto planned to keep things that way for a long time.

Perhaps he knew something about duplicity after all.

"Hey, Sasuke?"

"Yeah?"

"We've got an hour to kill until we start looking. Why don't you tell me some more about Itachi?"

A/N: What? You thought Naruto would be the perfect caretaker overnight? It's Naruto. Don't worry though. After this, he really won't ever leave Sasuke alone again.

Speaking of Sasuke... what do you think of him? Not that I'm pressuring you to like and review but, well, it's the only way I know what you guys are thinking.

This chapter was a bit more technical than the last one, but I really tried not to make it too boring and keep it moving at a good pace. Things will pick up a bit next time.

Here are some things I think I should clarify:

1) Why did Sasuke have so much trouble getting up on the toilet but he could still escape Naruto's 2nd story apartment? Two reasons: he either did get up on the seat, but was too small to actually be able to stay there long enough to - you know. And, well, when he tried he probably had to go, which usually makes it hard to climb things in the first place. However, because he's part cat, getting in and out of the window is fairly easy (that's kinda how they met in the first place).

2) Sexy Jutsu vs normal Henge: I know it's not canon, but I added a little boost to Naruto's Sexy Jutsu, which he discovers in this chapter. Think of it basically as the child to Tsunade's technique. It has the same durability as a normal Henge, but it's not as easy to detect (something Naruto never found out because he always transformed right in front of people) It lets him change into a more 'alluring' version of the woman he's copying. If you catch my drift.

Thank you to all the people who read, favourited and reviewed. Really, thank you. I never thought this would get the attention that it did, and seeing you guys' reactions really puts a smile on my face.

And a special thanks to Ser Serendipity for taking the time to check this out. If you've never read it, or did not feel sufficiently encouraged to read it when I mentioned it in the prologue, then please go read his story Not Sick. Go. NOW.

See you all next time.