This is: Insanity
Percy, Athena
Summary preview: Maybe he should get a new motto...
-100DIWPJ-
As I walked through the palace halls, I did my best to block out the traitorous thoughts spinning through my mind (she died, you failed).
I leaned back against a pillar and groaned (dead, dead, dead, Wise Girl no more, dead).
"One day it'll hurt less." I whispered aloud instead, hoping to change the tide of my thoughts. When nothing changed (monster, monster, just like every other god) I released a sigh. Athena had often been quoted as saying that insanity is repeating actions over and over and expecting a change. Repeating the motto every time something like this happened (better off without you, no friends, not anymore, who could love a monster) even though I knew it wouldn't work likely fit into that category.
But it was one of the few things I had left.
After being granted godhood, Zeus had immediately given me the title of the god of Heroes. Accepting the position wasn't the hard part. Aside from what one might think, it wasn't a simple job by far and when my thoughts weren't consumed with Annabeth (failure, failure, dead, monster), they became focused on keeping people alive.
I heard someone cough delicately and turned my head towards the sound. Of all people, Lady Athena stood solemnly to my left. I pulled myself off the wall and gave her a polite bow.
"Lady Athena," I muttered, doing my best to avoid her gaze. "Whatever brought you to this side of the palace?" I had especially chosen this space for the knowledge that it was as far away as I could get from the throne room.
"Lord Perseus." she returned. "I've been searching for you." Surprised surpassed caution and I glanced up at her. The stormy gray of her eyes was just as painful as I had guess (not Wise Girl, never Wise Girl, you drool when you sleep, shallow screams). I restrained a gasp as I broke eye contact.
"May I ask why?" Athena gave no indication that she heard the waver in my voice and for that I was thankful.
Athena's smile was not kind when she gave it, but it wasn't angry either. "You avenged my daughter's death when I could not. For that I wished to repay you."
Grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at her, she continued. "You could not have prevented her death, Perseus. You were no god then and even if you had been you would not have been able to interfere with mortal affairs. This grief that hangs off you and reeks of guilt and despair is not going to bring Annabeth back. Nothing will bring her back and it is time that you accept that. No part in her death was in any way your fault. You are teetering on the edge of insanity and your father will not be pleased with any of us if we are forced to remove you before you become a danger not only to yourself but to those around you."
Athena let go of my face and took a step back. "Unhappiness is caused by refusing to let go of the things that hurt you. Perhaps instead of tainting every memory of her with her death, you could focus on those times when you weren't a complete idiot in her presence." She cleared her throat and looked away. "I do believe my debt has been fulfilled. Good day, Lord Perseus." And with those parting words, Athena vanished.
I took a deep breath (dead, sorry, gods so sorry, not your fault Seaweed Brain), and processed Athena's words. As the words settled a part of myself that had been in dismay for the past month seemed to calm and begin to piece itself back together.
It wasn't anything major (best friend, gorgeous laugh, failed, no, sorry, knowing smirk) but it was something and I knew eventually it could heal.
-100DIWPJ-
Thoughts?
Next chapter: Misfortune
~ Anna/ Booklover98