For the first time in a long while, Sarah slept easy that night. As Jareth had bid her farewell, silently slipping into the shadows and out of her room, she had stood motionless for some time. Simply staring into the burning grate of her fire.
For once their meeting hadn't descended into spiteful words and bitter protests. For once they had left things amicably. Despite everything that had happened, it was almost funny how that was the thing that shocked her to the core. Somehow they had found a moment of calm amidst the chaos of their lives.
How strange it was, that he had bared his weakness to her, even just for a moment. She supposed that before that night he had never truly been a complete person to her. Over the years he had become just a character in her story, a ghost in her dreams, floating through her head in a one-dimensional haze with no true depth. She had never wholly imagined that he had fears and heartache like the rest of the world. To know that he was the same, on some level, as everyone else...it was almost heart-breaking. It made him more human she thought.
For that, she would be eternally grateful.
That night she decided that he wasn't evil. She still wasn't quite sure what he was, but she supposed everyone deserved a second chance.
The next morning she woke, her mind clear and her heart rested. There was a strange weight lifted from her chest that made it a little easier to breathe. She liked to think that the feeling was hope.
After dressing in one of the linen gowns that she was slowly becoming accustomed to, she stood by the window for a while, biting on her thumb.
The day was beautiful. The sun bathed the Labyrinth in a hazy orange glow and she could feel the warmth of it floating on the breeze. It looked like a painting framed by the stone blocks of her window. It truly was beautiful.
But even amongst the fairytale scene before her, all thoughts seemed to converge on Jareth. She wondered if she should wait for him, to see if he would start this strange voyage of a friendship by coming to see her. Yet with a sigh, she realised that it was her duty to set the sails. She had been the one to break his heart last night with a plan that had been both conniving and somehow brilliant in a warped sort of a way. They had not spoken much on it, but she knew it had hurt him. Far more than his words had hurt her.
With a shaky breath, she removed herself from the ledge, straightening her dress. What tumultuous stormy sea awaited them, she did not know, she just hoped they could find the shore.
After some vague directions from a group of goblins she found in the throne room, Sarah found herself standing outside a door to Jareth's study. It was funny to her to realise just how nervous she was. Every time she had been in his presence before it had been fuelled by anger, maybe even a little bit of hate. All the emotions had never given her a moment to be unsure of herself.
She raised her fist repeatedly, ready to knock on the small wooden door and announce her presence. Yet every time she did she found her voice catching and her words faltering. It was slowly becoming infuriating.
"You may enter, Sarah." As Jareth's voice filtered through the door, she winced in embarrassment. She had been standing there for a good few minutes, and she had a feeling that he had known all along.
She opened the door, her eyes adjusting to the dim light. The man in question sat hunched over a large desk, scattered with pieces of parchment. Some were yellowed with age, others fresh and almost blindingly white. But what struck her was him. He looked exhausted. Faint bruises lurked beneath his eyes that told the story of his restless nights. She found the anchor of guilt weighing her heart down.
As he looked up, he slowly lowered the quill clutched in his hand.
"Sarah...you look well." He offered a small smile, obviously uncomfortable with her scrutiny. It seemed that being cold and distant was easy enough for him...but to be open and pleasant...it seemed like it was something he was completely unaccustomed to.
"Thanks. I wish I could say the same about you." She offered gently.
He furrowed his brow as he was lost in confusion for a moment. Then it dawned on him that he hadn't truly slept for days. Not since she had arrived if he thought about it. Yet he knew that last night had done nothing for his vanity. He had spent the night in the tower again, gazing out at the moon and trying to discern the future in the stars. Yet they had told him nothing and gifted him only a troubled conscious and a weary face.
"I apologise. I have had a lot on my mind." He feigned a jovial smile that was almost as transparent as his words. Sarah, rather graciously, ignored it.
"It's okay. Just, you know..." Her voice trailed away as she crossed her arms, turning her gaze to the books that adorned the shelves against the wall.
"What?"
"You should look after yourself a bit more." It was almost begrudgingly said, but a genuine smile threatened to break through Jareth's demeanour as he heard the words.
"Forgive me, Sarah...But are you concerned for my well being?"
She rolled her eyes to the ceiling with a shake of her head.
"Jareth, I'm trying to be nice-"
"Hush. I know. Do forgive me but teasing you is awfully amusing." She looked at the King before her, surprised to see a true smile on his face. It really did seem that he took pleasure in antagonising her. Yet it didn't seem malicious anymore, that was what felt strange to her.
"Somehow I don't feel the same way." Was her retort as she deftly took a seat before his desk. He sat back in the winged armchair he lounged in, clasping his hands together.
"What does amuse you?"
"I'm sorry?"
"We said last night that we wish to be friends. And the more I think on it the more I notice that I have a distinct lack of knowledge when it comes to what does amuse you." He was looking at her with a genuine curiosity that felt unfamiliar.
"Are you saying you don't know me?" Sarah asked, a sceptical brow raised.
"Oh, I know the secrets. The hopes, the fears, the dreams. Yet it disturbs me that I don't know something as trivial as your favourite meal." Looking at him, Sarah could tell that the thought really did trouble him. His eyes had glazed over for a moment, almost as if admonishing himself for not taking the trouble to find out before.
"Why does it matter?" She shrugged. He gave her a withering look, almost as if disappointed by her answer.
"It's part of who you are. So it matters. I reiterate, what does amuse you?"
Sarah huffed a sigh, leaning forwards to rest her arms on the desk and found her gaze wandering as she thought. It settled on a little chess piece amongst the clutter of his belongings that, upon closer inspection, was shaped like a goblin.
"I like to paint." She conceded, rolling the statue between her fingers. She knew that his gaze was firmly upon her.
"What are your subjects?" He prodded.
"Anything. Well, anything in my head. I painted pictures of the Labyrinth for a few years." She heard him make a thoughtful noise.
"I'd rather like to see those."
Placing the trinket back in its place, she swapped it for another. This time it was a marble like sphere of pure black with shimmers of gold.
"What about you? What do you like to do?"
It seemed that for a moment Jareth was thrown, as if he hadn't expected a question in return. But then he smiled, giving a small shrug of his shoulders.
"Many things. I like to read, I suppose. I like to ride horseback. I suppose I take great pleasure in dancing. But…I've always found drinking has always been a great vice of mine." He said almost thoughtfully, and Sarah rewarded him with a knowing smile.
"I've noticed."
He gave a genuine laugh that made Sarah study him for a moment. She tried not to be unsettled by his casual slump and lazy half smile. Seeing him as a normal person was rather strange. It was hard to decide if she would ever be used to this, to know the person behind the mask. But she wanted to. And she had to try.
She owed him that.
"What's your favourite colour?" She said curiously. In truth, she thought she was beginning to like this game.
"Green." Came his answer. That was odd, she thought. She would have placed it as black or red or something as equally ominous.
"What kind?"
He gazed at her, studying her face intently and wondering just how she would react like if he admitted it was the shade of her eyes that he liked most.
"Like a meadow."
Seemingly satisfied with that she nodded, rolling the marble beneath her fingertips.
"Well, mine's blue."
"What kind?"
He watched her still, blushing as she averted his gaze.
"Any kind I guess. Are you feeling like you know me better know?" She said, mimicking the tone of his voice.
"We are to be married; it hardly seems appropriate for me to not know such simple things about my wife. More than that it seems inappropriate not to know such things about my friend."
He watched Sarah gently place the ornament back on the desk with a soft thud, sitting back in her chair. The teasing light in her eyes had dimmed, the reality had come home to rest and Jareth could see how it bothered her so.
"Will it work? This whole thing…are you certain?"
"There are no certainties in life, Sarah. Only could be's and maybe's. Maybe it will work. It could work. It will be a lot of work."
He could tell she was not satisfied with that answer.
"The man who spoke to me, Lukin? He didn't think it would work. He didn't seem to like me very much either."
With a wave of his hand, a goblet of wine appeared before him. He gave in. It seemed it was rather torturous to follow these lines of inquisition without a good drink.
"You're not the best for first impressions." He teased as he brought the cup to his lips, silently hoping for the lighter mood to make its return. She raised an eyebrow.
"And you are?"
"Touché." He smiled.
"Is it because I'm human?"
Well, it did seem that that victory was short lived. Jareth sighed, long and low as he pondered the answer to a difficult question.
"He's prejudiced I supposed. But he's only prejudiced because he's afraid. He doesn't want the past to repeat itself. And he'd rather let us all die then go through that again."
"I can understand that."
After a moments thought he sat forward, regarding her with a calculating look that was not unkind.
"Do you think you can change his mind? That's what you're here to do isn't it?"
"I can give it my best shot."
"I'm sure you will."
The atmosphere was changing, they could both feel it. The air had gone from light and teasing, dare it be said enjoyable, to something altogether more brooding. It seemed that as much as they could pretend and ignore it, there were still truths that needed to be addressed. But Sarah was determined not to let that spoil a perfectly pleasant conversation.
'What about you and Lukin? Are you friends?" She asked. The wince that overtook Jareth's features did not go unnoticed.
"We were. A very long time ago." He was frowning at something she could not see, evidently lost in his memories. As he flicked his eyes towards Sarah he noticed that she was sitting expectantly, obviously waiting for the details of the story.
"He did not agree with some of my actions. Nor I his." He said finally, hoping that it would be the end of the subject. But of course that was a foolish thing to hope.
"What actions?"
Jareth took a deep breath, settling his clasped hands across the desk.
He wanted to tell her of his past. He wanted her to know him completely, every facet of his life and every thought he had ever known, he wanted her to know and embrace it. He just didn't want her to hate him for it. He thought about lying for a moment. How easy it would be to lie and leave her in the dark about such things…
But she had made him promise to tell the truth. It seemed she could sniff out a lie faster than he could tell it.
"I was...for lack of a better word...a philanderer."
He watched carefully, taking in the rise of her brow and the widening of her eyes. He supposed she hadn't expected him to be so candid. Yet after a moment her gaze settled as she gave a contemplative nod.
"I can imagine that."
He winced. Was it really so easy to see him that way? As a fiend and a cad? Yet who was he fooling, of course it was. Especially before her, the one who could see and read him so easily.
"I...entered into a dalliance so to speak with his daughter. Lelore. I thought we were both agreed that it was to be a decisively short affair. I was wrong."
"You dumped her? People get dumped all the time."
Jareth shook his head.
"I took her maidenhead Sarah. I ruined her prospects because I was selfish and inconsiderate. And it was not the first time."
Sarah bit her lip, unsure where the conversation was heading or how she was supposed to react.
"You don't have to tell me this-"
"I do. I want you to know the person you are befriending and the person you are marrying. I don't want to become your friend under a false pretence that I am better than I am. I want you to know me and still want to be near me."
Sarah tilted her head slightly as she observed him. It was a strange echo of last night, the way he left himself vulnerable to her and seemed to hang on tenterhooks to see if she would let him fall or catch him in his self loathing.
"Do you think I'm deplorable?" He whispered, bringing her out of her reverie. She found herself shaking her head, almost amazed that a thing like his own promiscuity could bring him such shame.
"We all have a past...and I think you did stupid things. It doesn't make you a monster."
Jareth stilled, a shiver running through him.
It doesn't make you a monster
He thought that he would hold onto that sentence and treasure it for the rest of eternity.
"Thank you." The quiet gratitude fell from him, forever grateful for her empathy. He did not like Sarah to hear of his past discretions, it was hard enough to make her realise the depths of his passion for her as it was. If she truly knew how often he had dallied with a young woman and dropped them at a moments notice he feared that Sarah would believe he would do the same to her. And he could never. The very thought of it felt like a blow to the stomach.
To his surprise, a teasing smile graced her face.
"I guess I can see why he doesn't like you."
Jareth shrugged, feigning nonchalance.
"Hardly a great loss to me I'm afraid."
"Do you have any friends?" Was her question to him. She suddenly thought that she had never seen him interact with anyone else other than her and Lukin. And Hoggle she supposed. As a King she would have thought that he would have plenty of people who needed to see him on a daily basis.
"I have you."
"Apart from me." She rolled her eyes, taking note of the way he avoided the question.
"I've never had the need for them."
"So you sit in this castle all day, every day, on your own?"
"It suits me well. I don't particularly care for anyone's company." His words were beginning to become defensive, and it made Sarah smirk just a little to think she was making him uncomfortable.
"Yet you care for mine?"
"Above all others. You, as always Sarah, are the exception." The gentle words made the next snappy retort she had ready on her tongue disappear. It was becoming a pattern, she noticed, the way he could silence her with a small declaration of whatever it was he felt for her.
She cleared her throat nervously, not wanting to encourage the line of conversation.
"Jareth, I wanted to ask...since it turns out that I can see my family. I want to visit them. Soon."
"Sarah-"
"I want to see them." She implored, her eyes widening in something akin to desperation. Jareth reached out across the table, grasping her small hand between his and willing her to understand.
"As I said to you before...not now. It is too delicate right now." He hated that look. The utter disappointment in her eyes was more than he could bear, but letting her go home when they were practically on the precipice of greater things to come was dangerous. He could not risk her changing her mind. Not yet.
"Jareth-"
"Soon, Sarah. Soon, I promise it."
She opened her mouth to protest once more, but ended up silencing herself as he withdrew his hands from hers and rested his head in them. She almost reached out a hand to him, but was startled when he sniffed, sitting back and regaining his posture.
"There is to be a ball."
"What?" She asked, caught off guard by his words.
"A ball. Announcing our engagement. Now we have a clear perspective on the situation it is better to do it sooner rather than later. I want you safe." He motioned a weary hand over the piles of parchment between them, each note written in a flourished cursive. It dawned on her that they were invitations.
For a moment Sarah hesitated, a faint fire in her belly willing her to fight him.
"I know you don't want this. But it is better than the alternatives, correct?" There was a pleading tone in his voice that made her feel helpless to argue. Even before she found her voice, he continued.
"My people are peaceful. But if there is someone out there that wants to hurt you, unless you are under my protection, I cannot help."
She swallowed hard.
"Ok."
He seemed relieved above everything else, his body deflating as whatever weight of worry left him.
"Thank you…you are very brave, Sarah. Braver than I ever thought you."
She mustered a small smile and a nod. This was her fate and a road she must travel, she realised that. She just hoped it wouldn't be a very long road.
"I'll call on you tomorrow. But first…I think I shall arrange a surprise for you."
Sarah's brow rose practically out of sight as she looked at him, squinting her eyes as she tried to discern the intention behind the action.
"What kind of surprise?"
"A pleasant one, I hope. Now, run along. I have much work to do. I'll call on you shortly."
With that clear dismissal, Sarah stood from her chair still gazing at him quizzically. On the way back to her chambers she found herself wondering if their versions of a pleasant surprise were one and the same.
An hour later, as she sat reading on her bed, she heard a soft clatter and a small weight settle on the sheets beside her. Glancing over in surprise she felt her heart skip a beat. A golden cloche had appeared with a small note before it.
She shifted onto her knees, warily breaking the wax seal on the parchment. If there was any doubt about who the gift was from it cleared as soon as she saw the flourished cursive script.
Dearest Sarah,
I hope this gift brings you some happiness
Your faithful friend,
Jareth
She placed the note carefully beside her, grasping the lid of the cloche to reveal her prize. A small sigh escaped her mouth as she found herself staring at an array of paint brushes and a vast collection of coloured pots. Her fingertips caressed the smooth wooden handles and silken tips of her new tools and her eyes tried to adjust to the kaleidoscope of paint beside them.
Another clatter sounded throughout the room and she glanced up, seeing a new easel and a blank canvas against the wall by the window.
She allowed herself a smile, true and shining.
Yes, she thought, this would bring her much happiness.
A/N: I'm terrible at keeping a schedule with these updates, I know...But I hope you all liked it, please leave a review and let me know your thoughts!